Family and friends invalidating my marriage

[martinbr 1]

I am putting this on VJ in hopes if anyone has gone thru this. I have been married for 2 1/2 years now to my wife in which I love very much. I got married in 11/07 in the philippines. But when I discuss this with my brother or friends, they are under the assumption that it is not a real marriage since It was done overseas. Well I know this is BS. It's computed in the NSO that we are husband and wife just as if we got married in the U.S.

We have a all the documents to prove this. But when I get excited about talking about my wife and the process of getting here here with me, I get a lot of silence. I think in a lot of peoples eyes, it looks like I was desperate to find someone and that I just went on line and got a mail order bride. It just doesn't sit well with me.

I know this shouldn't bother me because there is more diversity today in interracial realationships more than ever. Especially where I live in the S.F. bay area in CA. Every where I turn, I am seeing more asian woman with american men. But it is getting old to not have any support from family and friends. I am getting the vibe that most of them think it's a bad idea to bring my wife to the U.S. This has been very stressful and a very long journey for us as you can see by my timeline.

I just sent the DS-230 packet out to the NVC. If this gets approved, it's off to the embassy. I have tried to delay this journey as long as possible due to the things that were going on my side with me losing my job, ex-wifes, and this nasty recession. My wife has been very patient with me and is willing to wait until I got things together.

Just wanted to see if anyone else has gone thru this,

martinbr

[martinbr 1]

Sorry, but the first thread is invalid. I can't even open it. Administrator if you can, please delete. PinayWife, I didn't get your respones.

thanks,

martinbr

I am putting this on VJ in hopes if anyone has gone thru this. I have been married for 2 1/2 years now to my wife in which I love very much. I got married in 11/07 in the philippines. But when I discuss this with my brother or friends, they are under the assumption that it is not a real marriage since It was done overseas. Well I know this is BS. It's computed in the NSO that we are husband and wife just as if we got married in the U.S.

We have a all the documents to prove this. But when I get excited about talking about my wife and the process of getting here here with me, I get a lot of silence. I think in a lot of peoples eyes, it looks like I was desperate to find someone and that I just went on line and got a mail order bride. It just doesn't sit well with me.

I know this shouldn't bother me because there is more diversity today in interracial realationships more than ever. Especially where I live in the S.F. bay area in CA. Every where I turn, I am seeing more asian woman with american men. But it is getting old to not have any support from family and friends. I am getting the vibe that most of them think it's a bad idea to bring my wife to the U.S. This has been very stressful and a very long journey for us as you can see by my timeline.

I just sent the DS-230 packet out to the NVC. If this gets approved, it's off to the embassy. I have tried to delay this journey as long as possible due to the things that were going on my side with me losing my job, ex-wifes, and this nasty recession. My wife has been very patient with me and is willing to wait until I got things together.

Just wanted to see if anyone else has gone thru this,

martinbr

[Pinay Wife 47]

Posting as Regular Member:

Don't let family and friends who are against your relationship get the better of you but don't push the issue with them either. Just work on your wife's visa process quietly. I'm sure that once they meet your wife, they would learn to accept your decision.

Posting as Mod:

The other thread was removed for double posting.

Pinay Wife

VJ Mod Team

[-B&T- 1]

Agree with PW.If you love your wife and want her by your side 24/7 then go for it! People around you haven't met your wife yet that is why they have doubts about her probably. Give yourself a chance and follow your heart. How many times you've visited your wife in PI? You should know her well by now after more than 2 years of marriage and if you have faith in her you should be sure of yourself that this is what you want. Good luck in whatever decision you will come up with. It's your life; you decide let your heart lead you and ask God for guidance.

[martinbr 1]

PinayWife, thank you for your support. This is the only place that i can get support about getting my wife united with me. I'm sure there has been many others in the same situation.

martinbr

Posting as Regular Member:

Don't let family and friends who are against your relationship get the better of you but don't push the issue with them either. Just work on your wife's visa process quietly. I'm sure that once they meet your wife, they would learn to accept your decision.

Posting as Mod:

The other thread was removed for double posting.

Pinay Wife

VJ Mod Team

[Darnell 8,478]

I I were you your EXACT shoes (I'm not, btw) -

then I'd learn to live with it.

You can create a warm family life with your wife - not need to cut yourself off from your parents and siblings - they've already decided to do that , ya?

I suggest finding a new circle of local friends, who have married Pinay wives, living with them. Over time, you can develop real friendships and supplant any support mechanisms that YOU used to have with your parents and siblings.

Good Luck !

[Loolie 56]

I am putting this on VJ in hopes if anyone has gone thru this. I have been married for 2 1/2 years now to my wife in which I love very much. I got married in 11/07 in the philippines. But when I discuss this with my brother or friends, they are under the assumption that it is not a real marriage since It was done overseas. Well I know this is BS. It's computed in the NSO that we are husband and wife just as if we got married in the U.S.

We have a all the documents to prove this. But when I get excited about talking about my wife and the process of getting here here with me, I get a lot of silence. I think in a lot of peoples eyes, it looks like I was desperate to find someone and that I just went on line and got a mail order bride. It just doesn't sit well with me.

I know this shouldn't bother me because there is more diversity today in interracial realationships more than ever. Especially where I live in the S.F. bay area in CA. Every where I turn, I am seeing more asian woman with american men. But it is getting old to not have any support from family and friends. I am getting the vibe that most of them think it's a bad idea to bring my wife to the U.S. This has been very stressful and a very long journey for us as you can see by my timeline.

I just sent the DS-230 packet out to the NVC. If this gets approved, it's off to the embassy. I have tried to delay this journey as long as possible due to the things that were going on my side with me losing my job, ex-wifes, and this nasty recession. My wife has been very patient with me and is willing to wait until I got things together.

Just wanted to see if anyone else has gone thru this,

martinbr

i guess it will be better if you just stop talking about your wife to your family and friends since they wont believe it anyway why waste time of proving to them that your marriage is real..just wait till she gets here and by then they can really get to know her and believe that you are really in love with each other. as for now just concentrate processing the papers coz its quite a long time already since you got married...

[journey4life 0]

i understand i get the same thing ,,i get constant jokes and im not married yet just been talking for over year and half and had plans to go there but i get hackeld so much by guys i know about the mail order bride they always saying fed ex is here maybe shes in the big box haaha i know they joking but still gets old ,,plus i get lots of warnings about travel also ,,so at this point im just considering quitting the whole thing. good luck

[Brad and Vika 129]

Chin up Marty. Some people will like that you are happy, others won't like the way you got there. Don't sweat the small stuff - just enjoy your time together. Good Luck!

[Amit-N-Melody 11]

Look, even my Grandma told me... that my Hubby was one expensive booty call...

[journey4life 0]

i have heard that same statement before pretty pricey booty call ! funny ! not really sure its all worth it

[SuperDuper! 230]

Did someone say, Booty?

[Brad and Vika 129]

[Amit-N-Melody 11]

[one...two...tree 2,762]

i guess it will be better if you just stop talking about your wife to your family and friends since they wont believe it anyway why waste time of proving to them that your marriage is real..just wait till she gets here and by then they can really get to know her and believe that you are really in love with each other. as for now just concentrate processing the papers coz its quite a long time already since you got married...

Good advice.

To the OP - I looked at your timeline and holy #######, you are stilling waiting to get approved???

What happened between July 2008 and the March 2009?

Just my two cents, but if you've been talking to family and friends about your wife and how she'll eventually be here...and this has been going on now for over 2 years, then I can understand if they begin to wonder. It just seems like you've dragged your heels on getting the process rolling.