Canadian Girl Trying to Figure out Best Options

[trailmix 77]

Hi LadyE,

I like what you said and I also don't think that marriage is a cookie cutter 'thing' and it is different for different people in that they take different approaches to it. I personally don't expect for all approaches to love and marriage are the same when, in general, people are so different.

On the other hand I do also believe that some people do 'fall in love' and that isn't necessarily 'infatuation' - back to the cookie cutter thing

I hope if you have more immigration questions you will post them here and we can help, in the meantime, you can always join us for coffee in the Canada off topic thread!

[Hugglebuggles 60]

All marriages are unique. I don't find the way you met or married strange in anyway. Most of us here met our significant others in similar circumstances through online circles. The interviewer won't be shocked and appalled by this in anyway- they see it everyday. There isn't anything to be feared here- immigration interviews aren't hard when your relationship and marriage are genuine. There isn't going to be a cop with a gun grilling you about minor details of your relationship and psychoanalyzing you and your thoughts on love and marriage. You are legally married, you have a desire to spend your lives together, and you can demonstrate you have commingled your lives over the course of the last 6 months. That sounds like a solid relationship to me. I certainly wouldn't worry about failing, unless of course there are some other issues (criminal records, etc) that could hold you back.

Immigration couples are unique. They usually aren't characterized by a fairly tale romance where guy meets girl next door, they fall in love and marry on their own terms. Cross border couples like us are forced to make tough choices, sacrifice, separate ourselves from the ones we love, and often marry under circumstances that we wouldn't have chosen if life had taken a different turn. I don't think it matters when or where you fell in love with your husband, and I doubt the CO is going to question this either because in the grand scope of things it really doesn't matter, does it? What matters is the nature of your relationship now and the intentions you have to spend you lives together.

Good luck with everything, I'm sure it will all work out.

[trailmix 77]

I personally don't expect for all approaches to love and marriage are to be the same when, in general, people are so different.

Just had to fix that sentence, so much for editing lol

[Krikit 1,163]

I think I'm going to enjoy having LadyEralam as a member of this board.

One other comment.... at no point in the process is it a requirement for anyone to attest to their undying love of the petitioner or the beneficiary.

None.

Nada.

Zilch.

You can safely disabuse yourself of that notion, Wyatt.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

I think I'm going to enjoy having LadyEralam as a member of this board.

One other comment.... at no point in the process is it a requirement for anyone to attest to their undying love of the petitioner or the beneficiary.

None.

Nada.

Zilch.

You can safely disabuse yourself of that notion, Wyatt.

ARGH!

That's not what I was trying to say at all...

[Malrothien 6]

I think, Wyatt, that it would be best if you stopped trying to think of what the IO's are going to think.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

I think, Wyatt, that it would be best if you stopped trying to think of what the IO's are going to think.

Look, based on the many reviews I have read of the CR-1 interview process at Montreal, combined with my own experience and sheer common sense, it is clearly to the benefit of the beneficiary to provide proof of a lasting, loving relationship. The whole point of this visa's existence is to reunite spouses, and implicit in that is the establishment of a long-term marriage based on love and NOT wanting to be married just to get a job or go to college. One has to be clear about one's motives for moving there -- and it has to be out of reuniting with one's spouse, and NOT for something that would be better covered by another visa. This isn't my opinion -- this is fact. If the OP is going to go the CR-1 route, which is really the best available to her, she has to be able to prove that relationship to them. Simple as that. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to see a denial based on lack of evidence of a bonafide relationship.

[Krikit 1,163]

Yeah. I'm thinking I'm in agreement with Mal.

[trailmix 77]

Look, based on the many reviews I have read of the CR-1 interview process at Montreal, combined with my own experience and sheer common sense, it is clearly to the benefit of the beneficiary to provide proof of a lasting, loving relationship. The whole point of this visa's existence is to reunite spouses, and implicit in that is the establishment of a long-term marriage based on love and NOT wanting to be married just to get a job or go to college. One has to be clear about one's motives for moving there -- and it has to be out of reuniting with one's spouse, and NOT for something that would be better covered by another visa. This isn't my opinion -- this is fact. If the OP is going to go the CR-1 route, which is really the best available to her, she has to be able to prove that relationship to them. Simple as that. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to see a denial based on lack of evidence of a bonafide relationship.

There is the hook oh wyatty one. What made you think that this is not a bonafide relationship? Or to put it another way, that a CO might think it isn't?

[ZansGirl 0]

In my own opinion...I think the onus is proving the marriage is legal and valid AT THE TIME of the interview, not that in 10 years from that date you will still be married and deeply in love... No one can expect someone to prove that. As someone who was married for 20+ years and wholeheartedly beleived that marriage was forever..I now am on marriage #2... And can I honestly say that in 10 years we will still be blissfully happy?? NO..because I am a realist...I HOPE and PRAY we will be and I will do everything in my power to acheive that...but nothing is a given.

And I met my husband on WoW , and we had a very shortcourtship..and yes..sometimes I think we married too quickly...BUT..I am happy and he is happy and if we can have 3 years of happy and that starts ASAP...then my life is too short to wait to have a 2 or 3 year engagement..so I guess my marriage is strange and awkward.

Who is ANYONE ,but the God they beleive in, to pass jugement on wether you got married for the right reasons or not??? Who are we to say you must love your spouse BEFORE you get married....sometimes a better thing that LOVE grows with marriage.... I still love my ex, but I sure as hell never ever want to be married to the pryck again!!!!

I am a little apprehensive to hit the send button, because I know I am not in that uper level of 'popular posters'...but I had to say something because in a way..those comments offended me as well.....

ok...old lady off the soap box...hope I can stay

[trailmix 77]

I am a little apprehensive to hit the send button, because I know I am not in that uper level of 'popular posters'...but I had to say something because in a way..those comments offended me as well.....

ok...old lady off the soap box...hope I can stay

What the heck are you talking about Zans!

There are no special priviledges for popular posters here (do you mean people that post a lot??), well not that I see. Each time we hit that reply button we all open ourselves up for a nice old flaming

I am glad you decided to go ahead and hit reply!

Edited February 1, 2010 by trailmix

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

What the heck are you talking about Zans!

There are no special priviledges for popular posters here (do you mean people that post a lot??), well not that I see. Each time we hit that reply button we all open ourselves up for a nice old flaming

I am glad you decided to go ahead and hit reply!

Absolutely!

I really think the aim of my posts earlier in this thread was misinterpreted. I guess it just didn't come out the right way!

Edited February 1, 2010 by Wyatt's Torch

[lgg 2]

Word on that as a self proclaimed flamee on occasion. I appreciate people's honesty and points of view a lot... heck, it's great reading!

Also, saying your bit and being open make for a way better e-friendship than not.

What the heck are you talking about Zans!

There are no special priviledges for popular posters here (do you mean people that post a lot??), well not that I see. Each time we hit that reply button we all open ourselves up for a nice old flaming

I am glad you decided to go ahead and hit reply!

[Krikit 1,163]

I am a little apprehensive to hit the send button, because I know I am not in that uper level of 'popular posters'...but I had to say something because in a way..those comments offended me as well.....

I wanna know who's on that list!

Absolutely!

[mustafa1232 3]

I wanna know who's on that list!

hi vjers sorry to disturb you but iam enjoying your disscussion all of you guays your disscussion is so logically and intersting so keep carry on guays