Flower Power

[visaveteran 1]

Whatever works Brad Happy anniversary This is six years, right?

Who's Brad? Did you just reveal a state secret...are you with WikiLeaks? You mean our man Slim is named Brad?

Anyway, I find cold hard cash tops flowers every time. If I give my wife the $75 dollars in cash that it takes to buy a decent flower arrangement or roses, she just lights up with joy...and heads quickly out the door. I see it as a double win for me. First I make my wife happy with me...and I get a few hours of peace and quiet while she's out shopping.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Who's Brad? Did you just reveal a state secret...are you with WikiLeaks? You mean our man Slim is named Brad?

Anyway, I find cold hard cash tops flowers every time. If I give my wife the $75 dollars in cash that it takes to buy a decent flower arrangement or roses, she just lights up with joy...and heads quickly out the door. I see it as a double win for me. First I make my wife happy with me...and I get a few hours of peace and quiet while she's out shopping.

You must be old. Us younger guys still want sex. Besides, Alla learned how that debit card thing works, she isn't so impressed by cash anymore.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Who's Brad? Did you just reveal a state secret...are you with WikiLeaks? You mean our man Slim is named Brad?

Anyway, I find cold hard cash tops flowers every time. If I give my wife the $75 dollars in cash that it takes to buy a decent flower arrangement or roses, she just lights up with joy...and heads quickly out the door. I see it as a double win for me. First I make my wife happy with me...and I get a few hours of peace and quiet while she's out shopping.

This also brings up a couple things that have changed drastically for my FSU wife and I wonder if the same applies to others. A lot of things about life here are "Meh...so what?" Some very few things are not so good. Some are very good. I can name a couple things that really made an impression on Alla...

1. Tops has got to be the car. She was so anxious about this and before she came would talk about it over and over. "How long would it take to get a license?" "What kind of car will I have?" She had a friend in Ukraine with a car and got her friend to take her one day on all her errands so she could see what it was like! She started learning to drive the second day here and studied very well and drove everywhere with her permit and had her drivers license in two months. I still cannot believe she has not had an accident with another car (at least that I have heard of). But when we bought her first car she just stared at that title with her name on it, not believing she really OWNED a car.

2. Drying machine for clothes. She said she didn't need it and "probably wouldn't use it" Yeah, right. She hardly ever uses her iron anymore. She also has her "work room" in our new house, the "utility room" with her washer and dryer and ironing board all separate from other rooms. She loves that also.

3. Garage door opener! Just put it in a couple weeks ago and she loves it. I think also the "machines for everything" impress her. "machine for cutting grass, machine for digging holes, machine for digging in the dirt, machine for cutting wood" She will have nothing to do with them but has learned that cutting wood takes but a few seconds, for example. At first she laughed at all the "machines", now she loves them.

4. Cheap clothes. Need we say more?

[baron555 934]

This also brings up a couple things that have changed drastically for my FSU wife and I wonder if the same applies to others. A lot of things about life here are "Meh...so what?" Some very few things are not so good. Some are very good. I can name a couple things that really made an impression on Alla...

1. Tops has got to be the car. She was so anxious about this and before she came would talk about it over and over. "How long would it take to get a license?" "What kind of car will I have?" She had a friend in Ukraine with a car and got her friend to take her one day on all her errands so she could see what it was like! She started learning to drive the second day here and studied very well and drove everywhere with her permit and had her drivers license in two months. I still cannot believe she has not had an accident with another car (at least that I have heard of). But when we bought her first car she just stared at that title with her name on it, not believing she really OWNED a car.

2. Drying machine for clothes. She said she didn't need it and "probably wouldn't use it" Yeah, right. She hardly ever uses her iron anymore. She also has her "work room" in our new house, the "utility room" with her washer and dryer and ironing board all separate from other rooms. She loves that also.

3. Garage door opener! Just put it in a couple weeks ago and she loves it. I think also the "machines for everything" impress her. "machine for cutting grass, machine for digging holes, machine for digging in the dirt, machine for cutting wood" She will have nothing to do with them but has learned that cutting wood takes but a few seconds, for example. At first she laughed at all the "machines", now she loves them.

4. Cheap clothes. Need we say more?

Oops... they're playing with the network here at work. I had a long list; I'll redo it tonight from home.

Edited December 13, 2010 by baron555

[Brad and Vika 129]

This also brings up a couple things that have changed drastically for my FSU wife and I wonder if the same applies to others. A lot of things about life here are "Meh...so what?" Some very few things are not so good. Some are very good. I can name a couple things that really made an impression on Alla...

1. Tops has got to be the car. She was so anxious about this and before she came would talk about it over and over. "How long would it take to get a license?" "What kind of car will I have?" She had a friend in Ukraine with a car and got her friend to take her one day on all her errands so she could see what it was like! She started learning to drive the second day here and studied very well and drove everywhere with her permit and had her drivers license in two months. I still cannot believe she has not had an accident with another car (at least that I have heard of). But when we bought her first car she just stared at that title with her name on it, not believing she really OWNED a car. Ditto for Vika

2. Drying machine for clothes. She said she didn't need it and "probably wouldn't use it" Yeah, right. She hardly ever uses her iron anymore. She also has her "work room" in our new house, the "utility room" with her washer and dryer and ironing board all separate from other rooms. She loves that also. Once she understood what "delicates" and "permanent press" meant, it was old hat.

3. Garage door opener! Just put it in a couple weeks ago and she loves it. I think also the "machines for everything" impress her. "machine for cutting grass, machine for digging holes, machine for digging in the dirt, machine for cutting wood" She will have nothing to do with them but has learned that cutting wood takes but a few seconds, for example. At first she laughed at all the "machines", now she loves them. Had this from the jump - so I think she thinks it is normal for us.

4. Cheap clothes. Need we say more? Vika's #1 without a doubt. She also adds things to buy other than clothes

[baron555 934]

things that really made an impression on Alla...

Here's some more, from my wife:

1. Cheap food including excellent produce and meat selections

2. The hoops one must jump through just to get a prescription of antibiotics for the kid. (It's easier and quicker to buy guns and ammunition online.)

3. Yes her DL

4. State parks with designated campgrounds without garbage strewn about and showers with hot water and flush toilets.

5. Her newest fave: Tacos with pork meat filling (plus refrieds, guac, cheese, cilantro and Mexican table cream)

6. Full refund on return merchandise after you have opened the box.

7. Free shipping and free return for online purchases

8. Jo-Ann's Fabrics (Home Depot for seamstresses)

9. Complete strangers will say Hello and Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening

10. Even the Police smile (It's because they are smiling at you....I am not the blond hottie and they are not smiling at me, dear.)

11. The Amish

12. Wisconsin homegrown and homemade cheese

13. Her own jams made from raspberries and strawberries she grew in her garden

14. Chinese Take-out (How do they stay in business with all this food that will feed us for three days for only $12 for two?)

15. Differences between the Hispanic Immigrants (including illegals) and other Americans originally from the continent east of South America.

16. Coupons (She still doesn't get that some are good for only a certain day(s) and are item-specific.)

Edited December 14, 2010 by baron555

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I would seriously love to see what happens when a (not their fault) guy from America gives his RUB girl flowers for the first time, and gives an even number because he doesn't know any better

I bet hilarity would ensue

Been there done that. Nobody told me even numbers were for dead people until after I blew the money on the roses.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I give whatever the store sells. Never had a problem. Vika says "different country, different tradition". Sometimes Ukrainian practicality works for me!

[Tnic 5]

Well, REALLY long thread and I only read the first 3 or 4 pages...

Just in case it never got mentioned.

-Flowers you brought with you from the USA are worth almost unlimited bonus points. Absolutely worth the $15 and transport concerns. ROI is priceless.

-If you throw in a few DYI home projects, well now you've jumped off the scale.

-Add in a nice hot meal when she gets home from the office and you'll never get any sleep, but the aerobic workout improves stamina so hang in there.

[visaveteran 1]

You must be old. Us younger guys still want sex. Besides, Alla learned how that debit card thing works, she isn't so impressed by cash anymore.

Yes, Gary, I am getting old. No denying it. But, fortunately, getting sex from my wife requires nothing special from me....like flowers or gifts or manual labor. I have never bought sex from her as it comes freely and with full force. And I see no marked improvement with gifts...as the free sex is the best I could hope for, even after 3 years of marriage. No brag, just fact.

Nothing wrong with flowers but I have felt, probably based on my experience with American women, that flowers are over used as gifts and are quite easy to acquire, thus taking away from the power of a special gift. Just run into any grocery store and grab some and you're off. Or buy some from that homeless guy on the street corner and never get out of your car. What's so special about that? I would think something that took a little more thought and effort might go over better...but again I'm talking as an American man with the most experience with American women. I suppose ordering a really expensive flower arrangement from a flower shop that is delivered to her directly might be a classier option with more surprise but hits the pocket book harder. And, in a few days the flowers are dead...perhaps a bit longer if you don't get roses. But I've been disappointed in the quality and effort put into the arrangement with the flower shops. Seems everybody is cutting corners.

But from what you guys are saying, it seems FSU women haven't been deluged with flowers as their American counterparts have. In American dating, it's not unusual to have a young man bring flowers on the first date. I see that as presumptive, premature and inappropriate timing. What flowers should relate to is some special event that allows the flowers to mean something at a deep level...like at a wedding or, sadly, at a funeral. Anniversaries might call for flowers but after awhile that gets pretty stale and predictable, IMO. But...if you guys say flowers light up her fire, go for it. But when does giving flowers wear out? I have to think they are time limited as a gift of love. Maybe some really good Swiss chocolate might work as the next place to turn. Or cash?

And if fixing a squeaky hinge gets her hot, head for the shop and grab some WD-40 by all means. In my condo there are only limited handy man work for me, so I can't show off my manly skills like when I owned a house. I have to say I don't miss raking leaves and mowing the lawn. I think women like to see us working hard so they feel comfortable we're not out chasing women or watching porn.

As to the issue of giving cash versus a credit card, my wife greatly prefers cash...I think because in Russia that's how she operated her life--cash only. I gave her a card but she felt that the card was not the same because I, ultimately, paid the credit card bill. And plastic is plastic. But with cash, she feels it's hers outright....even though I gave it to her, not unlike paying the card bill. But somehow in her Russian mind, she sees cash as superior to a credit card. I have actually benefited from this milieu. I give her a fixed amount of cash each month which is quite a bit less than she was spending with the card. So we both win with cash. Real money does feels more pleasureful and even sensual. I will own there is something about handling US currency that is a turn on...kind of like handling a gun or knife that are well made. Money even smells good.

For full disclosure, I did on several occasions wire my wife flowers when we were apart awaiting her visa. I even had the flower guy take those awful Polaroid photos. Now I realize that was a mistake. Russian women don't like their photos taken without prior knowledge so they can "spruce up." Until I realized the power of cash, I even bought flowers here in the states...like when she first arrived. But now cash is boss king...why fight it?

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I was joking VV, don't take it too personally.

Alla preferred cash at first but has gotten used to credit cards and debit cards. She figured out she could save another 10% off clothes by using a store credit card and then paying it off before the due date. So far we have -0- credit card debt and she covers most of her "women's things" with money she earns from translations or interpretations. Hardly making her rich but it pays for a manicure or a pair of shoes now and again. In Ukraine she felt her "collection" of 8 pairs of shoes was pretty extravagant

She still carries some cash which I almost never do anymore.

While I would not discount the value of flowers, Alla prefers a live flowering plant that will live for a long time and thinks cut flowers are a waste of money BUT I have yet to see her complain.

I agree with your opinion that when we are working we are not doing other "bad things" Raking leaves and mowing the lawn does nothing for her. You have to build something, create something where there was nothing before...that is what does it.

[james&olya 1,121]

I agree with your opinion that when we are working we are not doing other "bad things" Raking leaves and mowing the lawn does nothing for her. You have to build something, create something where there was nothing before...that is what does it.

So you think my hobby of DIY building (built my own home, lake cottage, docks, decks, boardwalk ....) will help keep Olga interested? Reading your posts on this makes me think that I have a very happy future in store once we get that visa!

[Tnic 5]

So you think my hobby of DIY building (built my own home, lake cottage, docks, decks, boardwalk ....) will help keep Olga interested? Reading your posts on this makes me think that I have a very happy future in store once we get that visa!

Oooh, you're gonna be some kinda tired the next morning.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

So you think my hobby of DIY building (built my own home, lake cottage, docks, decks, boardwalk ....) will help keep Olga interested? Reading your posts on this makes me think that I have a very happy future in store once we get that visa!

You are what they call "Gold". My first visit to Alla's place and her mom's flat I "fixed in one day what they could not get fixed in 12 years" I had to be scraped off the bed the next morning.

Oh yeah. You are going to be busy, day AND night.

Be warned, when they figure out how quickly and easily you can make things with your "machines" the honey-do list will expand.

[amberdima 6]

on my first birthday with him in the states, my RUB husband walked in the pouring rain while i was at work and bought me 31 roses. 30 for my bday and 1 for good luck. he got 'points'- if that's what you call it.