11 year old dependant; what happens if something happens to green card mom?

[jeffscharpf 0]

Sorry if this is a morbid question lol.. but..

My wife came here from Romania with her son in 2002 (K1). They both received green cards. He is now 11 has grown up in the US. His father has signed over all rights to my wife (back when they were divorced in Romania), but if something should happen to her, what happens to our son. I have not yet adopted him. He is not legally mine. He's been here since he was 3, everyone in the local community knows and loves him, it would be terrible to have to send him back.

What can I do short of adopting him? Is his green card still valid if something happens to his mother?

Also, if his father has signed away his rights in Romania, is this valid here in the US so I could adopt him?

(His father has given his word that he would not stand in the way of an adoption).

Jeff

[milimelo 4,561]

Adopt him and get his citizenship certificate.

You could also get a lawyer well versed in estate planing in case something happens to you, your wife. You want to be secured on the legal side with the will, living will and anything else that may come up should something happen to either one of you.

Forgot to ask - has your wife naturalized yet? If she has, the boy is automatically a US citizen, she just needs to get him the certificate or passport.

Edited January 30, 2010 by milimelo

[NickD 203]

I looked into adopting my then 13 year old step-daughter from Venezuela, was told the adoption would have to take place in Venezuela, was an expensive six year process, but would be invalid after the child turned 16 years of age. Just saying before asking if you can adopt, better check with the rules of your step-sons' home country first. I contacted a first rate attorney in Venezuela.

A kid only tail gates his biological parent until the conditional residency is fulfilled, you have to be beyond that stage with a ten year card since he already has his card for eight years now. He can apply for USC himself now, or tail gate his mom to save you 675 bucks. Adoption is the only sure way you can claim your son, like that case going on in Brazil right now where the biological father does have rights if he wants to exercise those rights. Us step dads do have limitations, but after the kid turns 18, the kids are pretty much on their own. As suggested, other legal means can be used to make sure your son gets any inheritance. Don't know if the biological father was married to your wife or not, but certainly had to have a divorce where he lost all rights for her. You can start off with your Romanian Consulate to learn about adoption rules, just do a google search to find the nearest one to you.

[jeffscharpf 0]

Adopt him and get his citizenship certificate.

You could also get a lawyer well versed in estate planing in case something happens to you, your wife. You want to be secured on the legal side with the will, living will and anything else that may come up should something happen to either one of you.

Forgot to ask - has your wife naturalized yet? If she has, the boy is automatically a US citizen, she just needs to get him the certificate or passport.

Thanks for the reply. Some things to think about.

She has not been naturalized yet. We just didn't make it a priority

[Dakine 26]

Thanks for the reply. Some things to think about.

She has not been naturalized yet. We just didn't make it a priority

I adopted my 11 year old stepdaughter when she arrived in the US. It was EASY! Only took 1 I/2 months. I got her a US passport for proof of USC. N-600 is a bit "pricey". You get 2 for one with the passport. It does have to be renewed tho.

[lucyrich 20]

The child's green card stays valid regardless of what happens to the mom. I don't know enough about custody issues to say who would be in line for custody. I'm guessing the mom should probably talk with an attorney to develop an estate plan, and designate someone to care for her child. All parents should do that on general principles, but it's probably more important if the default action the court might take isn't what would conform to the parent's and child's wishes.

It sounds like the mom is eligible for naturalization. If she naturalizes before the child turns 18, then he'll automatically become a citizen the day she becomes a citizen (assuming he's in her custody in the US with a green card).

[NickD 203]

The child's green card stays valid regardless of what happens to the mom. I don't know enough about custody issues to say who would be in line for custody. I'm guessing the mom should probably talk with an attorney to develop an estate plan, and designate someone to care for her child. All parents should do that on general principles, but it's probably more important if the default action the court might take isn't what would conform to the parent's and child's wishes.

It sounds like the mom is eligible for naturalization. If she naturalizes before the child turns 18, then he'll automatically become a citizen the day she becomes a citizen (assuming he's in her custody in the US with a green card).

USC is the easy part, adoption is unknown, this post started a conversation where my wife was really interested in why I was appointed guardian of my then ten and twelve brothers when my mom died. Couldn't get my dad to take care of them, he had other interest, (women), and my other brother and sisters, married with kids didn't want them either, I was single, so I volunteered.

That other brother later had two kids, his wife was wild, he got a divorce, she got custody, took off with a couple of guys leaving my niece and newphew at ages 1 and 2 home alone, and got killed. Some people crawled out of the woodwork thinking they would get a lot of suing money if they had those kids, but the courts again appointed me as guardian of those to. I had the power to either sue or not to, I dropped it. Those other people fadded away, inlaws of these kids, brother didn't want them, so said I would adopt them if he paid for the adoption so there wouldn't be any comeback. Another situation where nobody wanted those kids.

Never was really concerned about my wife's ex taking back his daughter, he gave permission for her to come here to get out of paying 10,000 bolivars a month child support, works out to five buck a month. And no way in hell did she want to go back to him, so wasn't really concerned about that. But did try to adopt her, that was a mess. She's 20 years old now, it's up to her, but she loves it here. LOL, can't get rid of her.

Now when you try to adopt, present wife and I tried that, always hear about these orphans, that is crazy, most institutions want to keep the kids, but only want your money. Even difficult to adopt a mutt that nobody wants, contacted a rescue service, want me to pay a small fortune for them to drive out from Minneapolis so they could see the home that unwanted mutt would be placed in, plus another huge charge afterwards. Just went out and purchased a new pup, that was a lot easier.

Also managed to get full physical custody of my own kids after my divorce, ex didn't give a damn about my kids, just the child support. But had to prove that in a court of law.

See these movies where a biological parent wants to get to know their kids they put up for adoption. Always portray them in severe hardships unable to take care of their young. Really hasn't been my experience, they just don't want to raise and support them and they don't have to do that when they are grown. Even my brother tried to resume a relationship with his biological kids, my kids told him to go to hell.

[sachinky 465]

Have your wife file for her USC naturalization. If the child is below the age of 18, he will automatically become a USC.

I am not sure about the adoption procedures. Contact an attorney.

[SunDrop 59]

Assuming your wife has some kind of sole custody document, check with the laws of the state you are in but I know that my divorce papers specify that the automatic guardianship rights to our daughter, "unless a contrary intention is shown in the instruction of appointment, is deemed to have been revoked at the date of the dissolution of the marriage." In other words, her biological father's rights to guardianship should I die are not automatic, unless I have stated as much in my will or other papers relating to our daughter's care and his access.

And agreed, get their citizenship sort out, so that he's not at risk of losing his residency status.

[NickD 203]

Ten year card can be renewed to maintain LPR status, but agree, USC is much easier and you don't have to remember to renew it.

Ran across the I-800a form, suitability to adopt a child from a convention country, but looks like a lot of reading to learn what it is all about.

Can invite insurance agents to your home, put such a fear into you and buy many policies, but end up not having enough money to live on.

Certainly worth your while to look into adoption just to find out what you are in for.

[jeffscharpf 0]

Thanks for all the replies. I want to clarify that even though I'm raising him as my own, I would never stand in the way of his real father if he really wanted to have a relationship with him. I have a daughter from a previous marriage and we had joint custody when she was younger. That actually worked out as well as it could for a divorce.

I've met his father and have corresponded with him many times. He is not a bad guy, (not a great father lol) just didn't really care to take care of his son and moved on into a new relationship and another child. When they first came here he we exchanged emails, pictures, etc.. several times each year. Now he no longer even inquires as to how he's doing.

So it's not because I have some need to do any of this. I am only concerned for our son as he grows older, or as I said, if something happens to his mother, he is only 11, does not know the Romanian culture, does not speak Romanian, is really a virtual "American" lol (loves American football and most other sports, etc.) so I think he would have a hard time if he was forced to go back there.

It sounds like I just need to worry about her becoming a USC so he at least has that. If he grows up and wishes to visit his father, I would not stand in his way (unless of course we do the adoption).

On the other hand, my wife is pretty ...umm.. well.. positive that she will not let him do that lol.

I hope this makes sense.

Thanks again for all of the responses! Great information!

Jeff

[lucyrich 20]

One other thing to note. His green card is only good while his residence stays in the USA. It could be abandoned if he left the US for an extended time. But if he becomes a US Citizen, that citizenship never goes away regardless of how long he remains outside the US.

I don't know enough about custody laws to say if this is a possibility, but suppose something happens to his mother and the courts decide to award custody to his father or another foreign relative. The passing of his mother wouldn't affect his green card status directly, but his moving abroad would cause him to abandon green card status, possibly with no obvious route to return to the US.

If you replay that hypothetical scenario only with him being a US Citizen, even if the citizenship didn't cause the courts to award custody any differently, his US Citizenship would at least make it possible for him to return to the US any time his guardians allowed, or any time he wished to return after reaching an age that allows him to make his own decisions.

[NickD 203]

Trying to learn the age of when a child is considered an adult in Romania, in the USA, Columbia, and Venezuela, it's 18. Did find this:

"Romania The age of consent in Romania is 15, as specified by the Romanian Criminal Code, Article 218 (Sexual intercourse with a minor), which reads: "Sexual intercourse, of any nature, with a person of the other sex or of the same sex, who has not reached the age of 15, shall be punished by strict imprisonment from 3 to 10 years and the prohibition of certain rights."

Having sex with a minor over the age of 15 until the age of 18 is statutory rape if the sexual act is done by two categories: I. The person abused his or her authority or influence over the victim or the victim's trust. II. The person is the tutor, curator, supervisor, providing care, medication or education and using that capacity over the victim to gain consent." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_conse...e#Romania"

That certainly infers that age is also 18 in Romania. Makes a big difference as once that child reaches that age, a biological parent can no longer claim them. In many Latin American countries, a minor child cannot get a passport nor leave that country without the consent of both parents regardless even if one has full custody of that child or even if one parent abandoned that child. Still have to have the permission of that parent, and even if that parent is no longer living in the home country. Saying this from personal experience, and no such thing as a universal consent, consent is required for each and every trip. A child may return to his/her home country, even with one parent, but won't be permitted to leave.

There is one such document that is universal and can even be a cause of temptation, a death certificate of that biological parent.

Ironically as a natural born USC, I don't even know the rules of my own country. When my children were minors, and I did have full physical custody, could I get them a passport and say take a trip to Europe without their biological mothers consent? Course I couldn't even think about that, was too busy raising my kids and working to pay off my divorce obligations.

Daughter was 13 when I got her, now she is twenty, God, time go by quick, in no time your son will be 18. I do know this from experience, becoming a guardian is a heck of a lot easier than adopting, even though it's effectively the same thing providing no one is claiming that child. See there are over hundred thousand orphaned children in Romania. Lots of orphaned children in this world that nobody wants, until you try to adopt them, that's when they try to cream you.

Never stopped my children nor my step-daughter from seeing that other parent. But sure had problems with my step-daughter, her passport expired and he wanted $5,000.00 to sign the permission slip. Just had to wait until she was 18, when she was, drove her down to Chicago, she got her passport on her own, and purchased a plane ticket for her so she could finally see her family members. She did look up her dad, but when she came home, said she never wants to see him again. Feel it would be a big mistake to block your children, let them decide, even at the age of 12, but the law won't let you when it comes to leaving the country and trying to come back.