I have a K1 paperwork question, but also need advice - My fiance is giving up hope that we will ever be together :'(

[Rob and Jill 82]

My fiance is discouraged (to say the very least) that the visa process will not work for us. He is deathly afraid and it's killing our relationship. I'm trying to convince him that we can do this, other people in similar situations have done it, that it's worth it in the end and he's just convinced we'll never be able to be together.

Also, he doesn't want to meet in a couple months (like he agreed to a week ago) because now he said that he'll never want to let me go and it will be too hard to go through all that again. (It's damn worth it to me, especially if we file for the K1 in the meantime)

I would ask him why he is afraid. The key phrase you learn in sales is to ask someone "What's holding you back?" to alleviate their fears. I would ask him what's holding him back? He might just have justifiable fears, he might be holding back information from you due to a fear of judgement, or being caught in a lie about something. He might just genuinely be afraid. It's a huge deal to agree to move across the world for someone. See if you can get him to open up about it.

With that being said, the fact that he suddenly doesn't want to visit throws up a big red flag to me. Without getting more information from you, it's hard to guess what is going through his head, but to me, it sounds like you two really need to sit down and discuss whether or not you're on the same page. If you're not on the same page, you should see if the timeline for your plans needs to change, or if you can work out your differences.

I've been in a long distance relationship 2.5 years, and it will be over 3 years before we're married. It's not the easiest thing to do, but you both have to want it to work, and you have to be able to help each other through the tears and fears involved. I do not mean for this to sound offensive (disclaimer), but from the tone of your post it sounds very much like "He won't do what "I" want". Perhaps you should find out the answers to the questions I posed above, and take the time to listen to what HE is telling you he needs and go from there.

[Boiler 46,246]

Sounds like he wants you to move there. Multi national relationships are a two way road.

My guess is it would be much miuch easier and quicker.

[MRStee 19]

Just a suggestion:

If you can include him as much as possible in the process. Show him the paperwork. Explain to him the rules. Show him the guidelines here on visa journey. He may be scared because he doesn't know what this entails because if he did he know that tourists visa are very hard to come by. K-1's are different. He has to be willing to go through the process together or it won't work. Knowledge is power! It can't be a one-sided thing because you are going to need certain things from him. Most of all just reaffirm your love for him. Let him know this is scary for you too but the love you have for him makes it all worth it!

Keep us posted and good luck on your journey! ((((hugs))))

[Third 0]

Hi Jen, have him come to this site and tell him to look around. If he talks to other fellow Pakistanis he might feel confortable. I hope he changes his mind.

We haven't filed for K1, but this issue concerns my Pakistani fiance if/when we do. Does anyone know if there's a way he can get by with not having all the towns' that he's resided in, police clearances (he said hes lived in many towns)? If not, can anyone please give us advice?

My fiance is discouraged (to say the very least) that the visa process will not work for us. He is deathly afraid and it's killing our relationship. I'm trying to convince him that we can do this, other people in similar situations have done it, that it's worth it in the end and he's just convinced we'll never be able to be together.

Also, he doesn't want to meet in a couple months (like he agreed to a week ago) because now he said that he'll never want to let me go and it will be too hard to go through all that again. (It's damn worth it to me, especially if we file for the K1 in the meantime)

I am truly, truly scared our relationship will end for the sole fact that he won't try. I can't write down everything that has been happening, but we've both been really upset the past couple weeks ever since he was told by his travel agent that he couldn't help him get a tourist visa to Morocco 'because it's too difficult'.

To the people who pray, please put us in your prayers. We are so in love and I know we can get through this, but he doesn't see it. I really need advice. I am really hurting right now and slowly giving up hope. I don't know what to do.

Thanks in advance.

[Peace be still 6]

Tell your fiance to start gathering all the information that he needs now. I know the process is hard, but love will endure all the heartache.

[FaithfulandTrue 6]

We haven't filed for K1, but this issue concerns my Pakistani fiance if/when we do. Does anyone know if there's a way he can get by with not having all the towns' that he's resided in, police clearances (he said hes lived in many towns)? If not, can anyone please give us advice?

My fiance is discouraged (to say the very least) that the visa process will not work for us. He is deathly afraid and it's killing our relationship. I'm trying to convince him that we can do this, other people in similar situations have done it, that it's worth it in the end and he's just convinced we'll never be able to be together.

Also, he doesn't want to meet in a couple months (like he agreed to a week ago) because now he said that he'll never want to let me go and it will be too hard to go through all that again. (It's damn worth it to me, especially if we file for the K1 in the meantime)

I am truly, truly scared our relationship will end for the sole fact that he won't try. I can't write down everything that has been happening, but we've both been really upset the past couple weeks ever since he was told by his travel agent that he couldn't help him get a tourist visa to Morocco 'because it's too difficult'.

To the people who pray, please put us in your prayers. We are so in love and I know we can get through this, but he doesn't see it. I really need advice. I am really hurting right now and slowly giving up hope. I don't know what to do.

Thanks in advance.

Never give up hope...you both are in my prayers...again don't give up

[NatPatBen 3]

With that being said, the fact that he suddenly doesn't want to visit throws up a big red flag to me. Without getting more information from you, it's hard to guess what is going through his head, but to me, it sounds like you two really need to sit down and discuss whether or not you're on the same page. If you're not on the same page, you should see if the timeline for your plans needs to change, or if you can work out your differences.

It did for me, too.

I'd echo the advice someone mentioned about going to the regional forum section for advice from others who filed for fiances from Pakistan. I can't even tell you how invaluable the advice I got from the regional forum for the Caribbean was (and still is).

[ms_jinga_lala 0]

This kind of stuff is important for many reasons. You know he needs them, but most importantly he needs to feel you are worth it to make that trip to get the ones he can't get online or however else. If he's not willing to help you through the process then there is no need to file. It's not like he's rushed to do this. He can take his time, take a little vacation here and there, see old friends and pick up the clearances. It might be helpful if you tell him to get them "just in case" and that way it won't be any trouble later when you are both really stressing out over this process. He also needs to truly understand this is a hard process and requires both parties to work hard and do things they may feel are difficult for many reasons. You both have to feel the other is worth it. If he's backing down now, it's more than likely he's stressed and scared and it might be a good idea to just put the topic on a shelf for a little while. Wait for him to bring it up. He needs time to breathe and think about things. This whole process is enough to fry even the most intelligent mind and then some.

[Tamara and Mehdi 0]

I know how you are feeling...My fiance is also terrified about being denied for the k-1 visa...but you just need to keep reminding him that in the end it will be worth all the work and waiting and stress....if he doesnt come around then you may need to re-evaluate things. As for the police reports not all countries require them...my Fiance is from Iran and we do not have to submit a police report for him....I know somewhere on here there is a list of countries that dont require reports....I wish I could be more help about that and if I come across where I saw it I will let you know....Just keep your head up and stay positive because that will help him to be more positive as well....Best of luck!!!!

[inzango 0]

Hi Jenn,

First of all, NEVER GIVE UP HOPE. You can't do that when you love each other!

Second, K1 visa to the U.S has nothing to do with a tourist visa to Morocco. Huge difference. My suggestion to you is that first you need to explain this to him. I have a feeling once this is cleared, things will get better.

Third, I think you need to make the trip ASAP and not couple of months. Go for it. Just tell him "I'm coming to be with you because I can't live without you, and it doesn't matter if it's for a second, a minute, an hour, a day, or a month".

Always listen to your heart.

And when you go there, you can take the paperwork with you so you guys can discuss the process. Tell him that there are certain things that can only be achieved when there is togetherness and this is one of 'em. Tell him that you are always there to help should he need it during the process. Talk to him and tell him that there are thousands of couple out there with similar situation. Life is not perfect all the time. Tell him to be a man, come on!

Some info. regarding Police Clearance

Pakistan Police Clearance Certificate:

If you live in Pakistan

In larger cities You should provide a Police Character Certificate or Police Clearance Certificate. Application forms are available at the “Town” or “City Police Officer” of your area.

The “Town” or “City Police Officer” will issue the required certificate directly to you. A fee may apply. In smaller cities, towns or rural areas

You may request an application form from the local district office of the Senior Superintendent of Police (SSP) of the Police Security Branch. The superintendent of Police (SSP will issue the required certificate directly to you. If you live in a Federally Administered Tribal Area (FATA) in Pakistan or in areas where there is no police presence Follow the instructions below if you live in one of the seven agencies of the FATAs or in areas where there is no police presence. The seven FATA agencies are: Khyber Agency, Mohmand Agency, Bajaur Agency, Orakzai Agency, Kurram Agency, North Waziristan Agency, South Waziristan Agency

Each agency is divided into Tehsils where there is a non-gazetted officer (Tehsildar) and a gazetted officer (Assistant Political Agent). The administrator in charge of the agency is usually the Political Agent. You should obtain a clearance from the Tribal Elders and forward it to the Tehsildar in your area. The Tehsildar forwards the clearance to the Assistant Political Agent (or sometimes the Political Agent). The clearance certificate is issued from the office of the Assistant Political Agent (or sometimes the Political Agent).

The following info. is from: http://www.loonlounge.com/community/forum/thread/6090/

Police certificates has to be issued for each country you lived in for more than 6 month after 18 years old,

So as long as karachi, hyderabad, and sukkur are pakistani cities for example, then one police certificate from any of them would be ok.

The poilce certificate of the city/place/district where you are living in the recent past is most appropriate. If you submit police report issued from past living area it may cast some doubt as why are you doing so? In case of any doubt they can ask for explaination. I think as you are from Pakistan you should not take chances and submit police report of your present/recent residence place.

The following is from: https://www.visapro.com/message-board/showthread.php?t=10230

When you will go to police station they will give you a form, which you will have and in last there is a colum about police inquiry.

For that you have to go the SHO of your police station who will send the Police man with you, in your area, the police man will inquire your neghibors about your husand and will take statment from your two neghibors and will take also theirs NIC for attaching with their's statement.

they will also check their police record for your husband if it's clear.

After clearance of this Inquiry they will give you report of clearance which you will give in first office where you filled form.

They will filled another form which will be stating that your husband having Passport No XXX, Addres XXXX, DOB XXXX, Date of Issue for P. Port XXX, Date of Expiry P. Port.

is living or lived in that area form this time to this time and we don't have any record against him.

Then they will stamp it (Police station stamp)

actually they have theirs form becasue they are doing it daily or weekly basis, just you have to contact them and they will guide you for next steps.

Also refer to the link below:

http://www.trackitt.com/canada-discussion-...te-from-karachi

Most important are the prayers. Our prayers are with you and everyone here at VJ is always here to help.

Wishing you best of luck

[Jennifer1 0]

I apologize for not responding in awhile to people's posts. Honestly, I have been extremely stressed and depressed lately because of how my fiance has been changing.

I want to thank everyone who took the time to respond to my post and giving advice. I really appreciate it. And I especially appreciate the support and prayers. Truly, that means a lot to me.

I apologize for not giving more details of what's going on right now, but I've been thinking and talking to friends about it so much that I just don't want to go through it again (right now).

I just want to say that I do have hope in Yasir and my's future together, but the fact that he doesn't is incredibly devastating.

As of now our plans are to meet in Dubai (where we met last year). We are working out the details regarding time off at our jobs and hopefully we can do this around the end of March or so.

Please, please, please pray for us as we really do need God's strength because we're losing our own.

Thanks so much and sorry if I sound so melodramatic. The truth of the matter is, this is a difficult time in my life.

Good luck and blessings upon us all!