My wife had another kid, what now?

[leahandlucas 15]

Also....don't want to be judgemental by any kind....please forgive me...but just trying to look at the situation...

The photo of you, her and the baby...by the "looks' of the photo....the baby seems pretty white to me (once again, the photo is very small, hard to tell)

Because if it was by another caucasian man....well.....i REALLY hope for the best...

take care...keep us posted

[thongd4me 69]

Also....don't want to be judgemental by any kind....please forgive me...but just trying to look at the situation...

The photo of you, her and the baby...by the "looks' of the photo....the baby seems pretty white to me (once again, the photo is very small, hard to tell)

Because if it was by another caucasian man....well.....i REALLY hope for the best...

take care...keep us posted

This will be a very hard sell at the interview stage because the only acceptable

explaination that would present her as guiltless would be one of rape, not a nice

topic to dwell on to say the least.

If it was the OP's biological twin, that's still a near-miss on the DNA match.

The OP may be older than his intended bride, but the CO may look at his age

(24) and opine that he is too young and naive to get mixed up in a marriage

such as this. He certainly is of an age where a "time out" may very well be in order.

The OP thinks "I'm in love." The CO thinks "con game victim."

[thongd4me 69]

This will be a very hard sell at the interview stage because the only acceptable

explaination that would present her as guiltless would be one of rape, not a nice

topic to dwell on to say the least.

If it was the OP's biological twin, that's still a near-miss on the DNA match.

The OP may be older than his intended bride, but the CO may look at his age

(24) and opine that he is too young and naive to get mixed up in a marriage

such as this. He certainly is of an age where a "time out" may very well be in order.

The OP thinks "I'm in love." The CO thinks "con game victim."

The fact that the OP HAS an actual child that is his (hopefully that can be verified)

with his wife is a VERY compelling motivation for him to suck in his pride and

do the good thing and be forgiving. That is what my religious background

would say to me. Unfortunately the fact that they are married would just

be an incidental detail and the interviewer would be taking a harder look at

other things.

[NVC FAN :( 18]

your gonna have one hellof a time . as someone already stated. you can read embassy experiences, women have been grilled, humilated, insulted for much less. still i feel for you, you may want to consider moving to to ph.

gl

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Hello, i have been in the process of petitioning for my wife to come to the US with a IR1 visa. I was just about to submit the affidavit of support and wait for the interview when I learned she was pregnant, so i put the visa on hold. We have a son and he is 3 months old.

We are now wanting to resume or visa work. obviously our son was not listed on the original 1-130 petition, so how do I petition for him? and what would be the quickest way to bring him along? should i continue with the affidavit of support and interview? or wait?

Before anyone suggests to simply get my son a passport, that wont be possible as I learned recently that he is not my biological son. Should I be honest about him not being my biological son? My name is on the birth certificate, is there a way they would know if i petitioned for him as my biological son?

i would really appreciate some help here. thanks

Don't lie.

You cannot get a visa for him if you are listed as the father because then he would have a claim to US citizenship. You must get the birth certificate corrected then apply for a visa for him when your wife applies. Why did you put anything on hold? Never mind, get the paperwork for him corrected then proceed as you normally would. You did not list him on the original petition because you did not know his name, sex, birthdate, etc. That, in itself is not a problem.

Your family size increase by one for the affidavit

Edited January 27, 2010 by Gary and Alla

[payxibka 10,047]

Don't lie.

Your son has a claim to US citizenship and is NOT ELIGIBLE for a visa. You need to file an CRBA at the consulate in Manilla and get him a US passport. There was no reason to put anything on hold, but you did, so deal with it. settle his passport issue before applying for the visa.

Gary,

His son (by the OP's own admission) is NOT his biological son therefore does NOT have a claim to citizenship... If the Embassy presses for DNA proof (which Manila does quite frequently particularly if the OP is unable to demonstrate he was in the PI at time of conception), then the whole thing will crash and burn....

Edited January 27, 2010 by payxibka

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Gary,

His son (by the OP's own admission) is NOT his biological son therefore does NOT have a claim to citizenship... If the Embassy presses for DNA proof (which Manila does quite frequently) particularly if the OP is unable to demonstrate he was in the PI at time of conception, then the whole thing will crash and burn....

I caught thqt and edited my post. Thanks

[david_loves_amie 0]

Yes i understand that, however we do have a daughter together(our first child). do you think that will help?

Having been through 1 CRBA and another coming up soon (I also have a 3month old and 17month old in the philippines) USEM will require proof that you were together at the time of conception of your 3month old. If you were living with her at the time and can prove it by sending notorized copies of your US Passport then a DNA test should not be required. If you were in the US by the time she got pregnant than there will be a problem at the embassy. We are just waiting on the NSO for our daughter to begin the CRBA again...

Just my 2 centavos

[ellmvl 1]

I bet many people who will read your post would think you are crazy for continuing your relationship with this girl eventhough she has a child with another man while she is married with you. If you don't mind me asking, why you had put the visa on hold before? Were you guys went on "separate ways" that's why she met another man and got pregnant? And now you guys realized you want to save the marriage? It's ok if you don't want to answer my questions. Im just trying to understand things co'z I don't want to be jumping on conclusion here. If you are willing to take her child from her another man there must be a really strong reason for that...you must really love her.

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

I can not believe you would even consider bringing her here when she obviously cheated on you after you married and got pregnant. How can you trust her now?

[FinnLove 0]

Having been through 1 CRBA and another coming up soon (I also have a 3month old and 17month old in the philippines) USEM will require proof that you were together at the time of conception of your 3month old. If you were living with her at the time and can prove it by sending notorized copies of your US Passport then a DNA test should not be required. If you were in the US by the time she got pregnant than there will be a problem at the embassy. We are just waiting on the NSO for our daughter to begin the CRBA again...

Just my 2 centavos

He said the three-month old isn't his son. He wasn't there when the son was conceived! Well, at least I hope not.

[Paul Ficca 0]

Yes, like i said, i do understand that it looks really bad. Can the embassy deny her a visa on these grounds? or will they just make things harder? We have been married 2 and a half years, half of that time i have been living here in the Philippines with my family,I have been paying for everything, we have been living together, I have countless photos of us raising both kids together I don't really see how they could deny us just because one of our kids is not my own. It was a one night stand with a guy she doesn't know. It was a mistake and we have moved past it.

No offense but i didn't post on this forum to get anyone opinion about my relationship or my wife, I just want sound legal advise, so if you don't have that then please don't post. thanks.

Which petition should I file"?

can they deny the visa because my wife was not faithful?

also, someone mentioned it is a problem that my name is on the birth certificate, I don't understand why this would be a problem, but can anyone confirm this?

This will be a very hard sell at the interview stage because the only acceptable

explaination that would present her as guiltless would be one of rape, not a nice

topic to dwell on to say the least.

If it was the OP's biological twin, that's still a near-miss on the DNA match.

The OP may be older than his intended bride, but the CO may look at his age

(24) and opine that he is too young and naive to get mixed up in a marriage

such as this. He certainly is of an age where a "time out" may very well be in order.

The OP thinks "I'm in love." The CO thinks "con game victim."

[NVC FAN :( 18]

as many will tell you, its up to the consul. even though you have moved past this, the consul may make this decision for you and tell you this is not meant to be.

things are different in pi , in regards to faithfull ness in a marriage.

again , gl

you may want to hire a competent lawyer.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Yes, like i said, i do understand that it looks really bad. Can the embassy deny her a visa on these grounds? or will they just make things harder? We have been married 2 and a half years, half of that time i have been living here in the Philippines with my family,I have been paying for everything, we have been living together, I have countless photos of us raising both kids together I don't really see how they could deny us just because one of our kids is not my own. It was a one night stand with a guy she doesn't know. It was a mistake and we have moved past it.

No offense but i didn't post on this forum to get anyone opinion about my relationship or my wife, I just want sound legal advise, so if you don't have that then please don't post. thanks.

Which petition should I file"?

can they deny the visa because my wife was not faithful?

also, someone mentioned it is a problem that my name is on the birth certificate, I don't understand why this would be a problem, but can anyone confirm this?

Okay. Look at it from the Consulates view. You are listed on the birth certificate of the child.

- As you are "claiming to be the father" the child is a US citizen by birth. BUT in order to prove this the child will need a DNA test to obtain US citizenship this way. At that time they will discover the child isn't yours and of course that cancels that, and then your wife (though I can't guarantee it) will be on record for having lied to her husband (bad for relationship proof). If you admit to KNOWING about the cheating it's even worse because now YOU lied to the US government as well.

- You petition as the child NOT being yours and birth certificates are REQUIRED (as well as notice of permission from the father, if known) so they get the certificate and what do you know, you're listed so they ask "why isn't he getting US citizenship?" and you tell them you LIED KNOWINGLY and put your name on a legal document... breaking the law... Nothing will be allowed to go through until your name is removed, and even then now YOU look untrustworthy and you lied to the US government.

You MUST remove your name from the childs birth certificate. You are NOT the childs father. You can adopt him if that's what you decide so he can "become yours", (probably best after getting in the US, perhaps before as proof you've "moved past it"). Also, not only are you taking away the child's ACTUAL father's rights (she cheated but he is STILL a father and should be given a chance to know his child, I don't know the PI's view on this sort of thing), you are breaking the law and it's going to be very hard to get your wife and her children to the US with your name on the certificate.

As for will this risk the visa, yes it will. There is a section that states you must prove you have a bonafide relationship and part of that is an "exclusive" relationship (can't find that exact reference but I know it's there somewhere). I'm not sure what the US accepts as proof you've "gotten past" her cheating on you. There will be a lot of questions about how someone in love can cheat on their loved one. She will be accused of only being in it for the Visa and just lucked out by getting pregnant and they will most likely assume this wasn't a "once off" (you said you spend half your time there, so what does she get up to when you're not there? She cheats). They'll probably ask WHEN you found out about her cheating (before or after she was pregnant). Perhaps they'll suggest you attend counselling and obtain a report stating you have discussed your marital issues. Or perhaps, as suggested above, they'll just make the decision without any questions that this is a visa relationship and you will have to try and live in the PI.

No-one can be sure what USCIS will require. It's almost certain that your wife will be INTENSELY questioned. I suggest you contact a lawyer to ask their advice. You also MUST remove your name from the child's birth certificate, that's a certainty too.

Good luck. I think you have a very long path ahead of you.

p.s. my post isn't meant to be a judgement of you or your relationship but it is (as others are) pointing out the reaction of the US government (who are people like us) when they see she cheated on one of the few times you weren't around. It doesn't look good but I hope for your, and your child's sake that it works out.

Edited January 28, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[Deb+Steve 13]

you are breaking the law and it's going to be very hard to get your wife and her children to the US with your name on the certificate.

The way I read it, the OP only recently found out he is not the biological father and may not have known at the time of the birth. The only law breaking would be if they proceeded as is in the hope the Consulate does not ask for DNA testing.