Likely to receive AOS approval

[Eric-Pris 1,607]

Besides, do you imagine sleeping each night with a possibly frigid woman beside you?

She has been living with this friend who lives just a mile away. My guess is that if we marry she will continue to live there indefinitely,

It doesn't sound like that will be a problem. And I bet this "friend" is a man, who is closer to her own age. Maybe that's who she came to the US to be with but needed a sucker to pay for it.

My, and every other person's reading this thread, confusion is why he is even contemplating doing this. I'm actually bewildered. A man must have severe self-esteem issues to want to marry a woman who has basically told him (by her actions) that she wants nothing to do with him. I actually feel sorry for this guy.

Edited January 22, 2010 by Eric-Pris

[sachinky 465]

Do what Pink Floyd tells you to--run like hell.

[Laura & Kyle 16]

I'm stunned reading this... I may not know much about the K-1, but did you see yourself even being in a relationship with her before becoming engaged? Had you talked to her on the phone and did you two share sweet, romantic, 'normal' boyfriend/girlfriend kind of conversations before getting engaged?

Just hearing this story makes me question the validity of the K-1. I thought people were supposed to be in a bonafide relationship BEFORE coming over. Being over on a K-1 isn't a warm-up, demo, testing period. It's supposed to be a time where you're engaged, you get married, and start the AOS process. At least that is what I thought.

I hope you all the best, but the previous posters are dead on. This doesn't sound like it will get approved, and it probably will be in your best interest for the AOS to be denied. She's not here for you. She's here to be with her aunt. One big happy family for her. By everything you've said.. this doesn't sound like a healthy (or real) relationship. You are getting the short end of a stick. Even with culture differences, something is definitely amiss.

Edited January 22, 2010 by laura and kyle

[baron555 934]

I am curious to know what your conversations were like before she moved here. Obviously something was amiss or there wasnt clear communication between the two of you. You should sit down and have a heart to heart conversation with this girl and come to an understanding of what her and your intentions and expectations are. A newlywed couple dont just live in seperate houses, and they dont have seperate lives. What was the situation when you went to visit her in Phil? I dont have all the details, but it seems from your post that she doesn't have any interest or intentions of being with you as a wife, and if that is the case, you need to act before you get married and she becomes your responsibility financially and she can take half of what you have. I wish you luck and sorry to hear about your situation, but better to find out now before its too late. I would be more concerned about the emotional stress rather than the leagal issues, if your intentions to bring her here were valid, then you dont have to worry about fraud. But she may have to worry about that.

But is she young and really good looking?

[clueless_in_usa 8]

But is she young and really good looking?

You have to have a ton of money to waste or be really horny only to consumate such relationship.

I would save the wedding and AOS expenses and would go back to Phil to look for somebody who is really worth the money and the trouble. I am sure that I would find somebody who really deserves it and somebody I would deserve at the same time.

But that is just me! I tend to think different from many "normal" people.

[Calypso 464]

But is she young and really good looking?

She is young. The OP has stated that his fiancee is 23. Young and good-looking she may be but it's not worth the trouble... indeed.

And what's the use of having someone young and good-looking if she's got the "bed-evasion syndrome?"

[juliava 80]

I wouldn't choose to spend the rest of my life with someone who I already have serious relationship problems with. I wouldn't even wonder what are the chances for an AOS approval for the significant one. I wouldn't get involved in the first place. Run until you can. There are so many other people out there, why looking for trouble?

[mrs. wife! 3]

Wow, that's awful!

How did you guys got approved for K1 interview? Did you have a bonafide relationship before she entered US and then when she crossed the border it's was all gone, or you never had a real relationship with her? - like kissing, cuddling, talking... normal bf/gf stuff?

As said before in other posts, it seems like your friend is doing his wife a favor by bringing niece to the US. Perhaps she is living with "auntie" right now?

[Dan and Ali 3]

This makes me sad to read this. You deserve better...to be with someone who wants to be with you. As Bobby+Umit said, the K-1 is not a try and see if you like it. Its for two people that love one another and want to be together as husband and wife in marriage. Life is to short to wait and see if maybe she might fall in love with you. Best of luck to you.

I agree wholeheartedly with Wis-Can, and everyone who said that you should not marry her. Unfortunately sometimes in life we have to learn from our mistakes -- this seems to be one of those times. Don't let yourself get taken advantage of any more than you already have.

Take care.

[BobInGeorgia 0]

I got plenty of replies to my post, and I value all of them. Thanks.

Have you gotten married yet? When did she enter the U.S.?

We are not married yet. She has been here for 7 weeks.

If you believe that she doesn't love you now, that may or may not change. Is the reason she's not living with you a matter of modesty?

Yes, “modesty” is the reason she is not living with me now.

What was the situation when you went to visit her in Phil?

We spent 12 days together in the ‘ppines, and it was evident to me that she was painfully shy.

Have you spent time with her before she came to the US? You must've met, right?

I have known of this girl for 6 years; began exchanging emails 2-1/2 years ago, and met her in-person last March.

How did you guys got approved for K1 interview?

I don’t know about her K-1 interview. Possibly she should have been denied? I can say one thing, it seems that her application was given preference, as it took just 3 months for her to obtain K-1 approval. I suppose the fact that she is an RN had something to do with that.

Had you talked to her on the phone and did you two share sweet, romantic, 'normal' boyfriend/girlfriend kind of conversations before getting engaged?

Yes, though in the two months prior to her arrival here we had limited communication because her Vonage connection was lost.

But is she young and really good looking?

Yes. She is quite beautiful.

My, and every other person's reading this thread, confusion is why he is even contemplating doing this.

My fiancée is a very, very exceptional person; if we do not marry, I will not begin this process over again with someone else.

If we marry I believe there is a chance for a wonderful long-term outcome, but there are risks and uncertainties to consider beforehand. Again, I am very concerned about getting through the AOS interview for the reasons given in my initial post, and I have another reason: I am unwilling to lie. I believe I would have no problem answering the basic questions asked in these interviews. However, I understand that there may be some more probing questions asked in either the initial or a follow-up interview if fraud is suspected. If my marriage is not bona fide I believe my commitment to telling the truth will guarantee green card denial.

[sachinky 465]

Look man, don't hinge your hopes on the fact that she "might" fall in love with you.

That's selling yourself short.

[edp333 9]

Some other points to consider:

Does she come from a family with or does she have strong morale convictions? There are still many people who believe in not sleeping together before marriage.

Does she seem happy to see you? Do her eyes light up and a smile come to her face when she sees you? Does she want to spend time with you?

[Anh map 2,098]

Why are you worrying about the AOS and not about building a marriage? You state that she will likely live apart from you (1 mile away) after marriage. How will that story sound to someone who is there to assess the validity of your marriage?

Who paid / is paying the fees, travel, etc. for your fiancee?

[ScottThuy 140]

JBtarnrlXIE

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

You are young. I was young once, so I've walked in your shoes. Old people are often boring, and young people don't like to hear what they have to say, but you asked, so here it is:

You live in a country of 300,000,000 people. That's a lot dawg!

I don't know exactly how many of those are female, in your target age group, but I'm certain it's more than you can possibly date in a lifetime . . . or hundred lifetimes. If you have a thing for an Asian girls, I'm sure there are even more than hundred times enough Asian girls within your reach. Since you are willing to go though the trouble of getting a foreign girl thousands of miles away to you, getting one from the end or your State should be peanuts in comparison to that.

Second point. It may sound cheesy in the eyes of a young fella, but this "until death do you part" has some meaning. What it means is that you can date and have fun all you want (unless you live in a Muslem country), but you really shouldn't get married until you have found the girl of your dreams, the girl that you really can't stand going home after you were together, the girl that makes your heart beat like a sledgehammer. Until you found that very girl, continue to date, have fun, meet people, and do what you like, but don't marry someone whose heart is not beating at the same frequency as yours.

Edited January 24, 2010 by Just Bob