My fiance will be here on Tuesday!!

[Resha 1]

So my fiance Adnan will be here on the 26th and im getting worried about him being lost here.. Everything here is soo different than back home as you all know all too well lol.. Im in the process of cleaning house, car, getting things for him to feel more comfortable.. I know hes going to be happy to be with us and see his daughter again! We are soo excited to start our lives together.. But I cant help but worry about him hating it here lol Anyone have any advice on making him feel as comfortable as possible! Any advice you can give me from your experiences would be very much appreciated

[zaytoona 8]

So my fiance Adnan will be here on the 26th and im getting worried about him being lost here.. Everything here is soo different than back home as you all know all too well lol.. Im in the process of cleaning house, car, getting things for him to feel more comfortable.. I know hes going to be happy to be with us and see his daughter again! We are soo excited to start our lives together.. But I cant help but worry about him hating it here lol Anyone have any advice on making him feel as comfortable as possible! Any advice you can give me from your experiences would be very much appreciated

I am so happy for you! I wish I had advice but I do not for now. I am sure he will be fine with such a loving woman and family with him!

[LRA 0]

Take it day by day. I am sure he'll like it here. I mean who doesn't!!?!? Let him know that you will do everything you can for him and are there for him. And his daughter is here.....that alone is enough!

If he wants to have someone here he can talk to....he can contact me...or I am sure any of the other ladies you are friends with on MENA would offer up their SO.

[Majid_Anna 0]

He's finally coming home! Be sweet, make him feel at home...as if he was away and just came home Guide him to do things on his own in the house...remind him everything is "ours"...in your own way Within a couple of days he'll be right at home Have a phone card ready for him to call his family whenever he wants...good food and a comfortable bed and you're good to go! Things will come naturally because you love and care for him..don't worry

[Bajih 4]

That is exciting! Time is coming up!

I don't have any advice- I am looking for some myself! Best of luck. Just be yourself. I am sure that is ALL he wants- his family together again. Don't worry about things.

Baj

[KittyPollitt 284]

I'm so excited for you, Resha! About your question, I have extensively questioned my exboyfriend about the subject of what its like to come to America for the first time, to try and help my own fiance when the time comes... My ex is from Rabat and has been here for 6 years and is a citizen now..He told me the hardest things are the smallest things.. the temperature, riding on the roads, and the food... things like that.. he still hasn't gotten over the temperature thing and used to jack the heat up in my car and his apartment is like a sauna.. but the other things just take time to adjust to.. keeping him in touch with his family a lot at first will help him too.. He's going to be so relieved and overjoyed, the little things probably won't hit him for a while! I look forward to hearing how things go! Congrats!

[Teffah 5]

Guess what... you suck!!

[KittyPollitt 284]

Guess what... you suck!!

[Cool_Together 0]

Resha, that is the BEST news!! I've been thinking about this topic too actually. One thing I've done is ask Akhlaq what were some of his fave Pakistani foods then made myself a list and looked online for recipes and I'm practicing on making those yummy meals. Can you cook some good Moroccan dishes? Anything like this would be good idea, I thought, when they are feeling lil homesick sometimes. besides being excited about trying new things something familiar would bring some 'comfort'. I think with your love, and your cutie pie daughter he will be totally content. Soooooooooo happy for you!!!!!

Take care

~Kristie

[New Beginnings 32]

If you haven't already done this find local mosques (if he's muslim) and try and find a community of people that he'll be able to relate to.

Before my husband arrived I scouted the local mosques and went in and talked to a few people and realized that there is a HUGE Moroccan population here. I was able to attend an Eid celebration and met lots of people that my husband was able to befriend right away.

Be prepared for his comfort zone to be very centered around your home and you. Slowly that zone will increase but let him do it in his own time, you don't want to rush him. Have a few things lined up that he's never done before and start doing them right away, that way he can be excited about being here. If he plays any sports, look to your Community Center and see if they have any programs he can join.

[caybee 21]

Looking back, I think the lack of transportation and autonomy were the most difficult things for my husband, and if I had it to do over again, I would have made an effort to help him get his license and a car more quickly (we bought a second car, used, for less than $1900, and that made a huge difference since public transportation is essentially nonexistent here). Of course, licensing is limited by your state's rules, and we did have to wait, but he probably could have had his license a couple months earlier if we'd pushed harder for it.

We bought a free-to-air satellite system which let him catch a lot of Arabic channels for free, including 2M. That was helpful, especially in the beginning.

His parents and sibs have Internet at home, so keeping a good connection so he can talk with them with mic and cam has been crucial. He recently sent them a Magic Jack so they can reach his cell phone very cheaply also.

Most helpful have probably been his Moroccan and other Arabic-speaking friends. He met the first Moroccan when he wore his Moroccan soccer shirt to the cafe on one of his first days here. Frankly, he has needed his time out with them more than I anticipated he would, and we've BOTH had to adjust to that and make some compromises, but that goes along with the autonomy thing. He was a fully functioning adult in Morocco, and though he depended on me for so much in the beginning, he has needed the freedom to build his own life here too, at the same time learning what I need from him. Having your daughter may or may not lessen the need for other Moroccan peeps, but he may need at least SOME time out with friends occasionally anyway.

My husband didn't use this site in the beginning but reads it regularly now and has recommended it to other Moroccans who are new to the U.S. There's a "Find a Moroccan" search field toward the upper left where you can input your city or state or Moroccan city of origin and find other U.S.-based Moroccans who have registered with the site. It also has news and lists events of interest to Moroccans in the U.S.

He loves soccer, so finding out where the pick-up games were and joining in (even though he had to use sign language with the majority Spanish speakers) also made a difference in his morale from the beginning. You can often locate pick-up games or leagues online if he's into that. Hubby just joined an indoor league and enjoyed looking over to see our son "cheering" for him.

One caveat: Unfortunately, though he has met some wonderful immigrants here and has become friends with many of them, not all of them, including some Arabic-speaking ones, have had his best interests at heart. I don't know if it was because they themselves were exploited when they first arrived, but SOME immigrants have offered employment or other aid that wasn't necessarily above board or which had big strings attached. He needed time to learn who to trust, but he's much more street-smart now.

Oh yeah, food! He now likes some things he hated in the beginning. But an easy kefta tagine can go a long way in easing a homesick tummy. Lots of ideas in the pinned topic above. Speaking of which, I think I have my menu for tonight...

Good luck, and happy reunion!

[sara535 15]

Caybee hit the nail on the head with the independence part. At home, he was a fully capable adult with a social network and comes here where everything is new and different and often intimidating - it can make adjusting and adapting very difficult. Try to be patient and understand that how hard it might be to not know how to do simple things at first like operate household appliances or shop at the market for anything even remotely familiar

A sense of humor really helped us through those first months!