Goldenheart Update....

[goldenheart 0]

Asalaamu Aleykum,

My fiance was invited for an interview a few weeks ago, he thought the interview was to clear up the miscommunication at the POE. Unfortunately, the interview turned into a 3 hour interrogation session.

He said the CO asked him Why did your fiancee decided to be a Muslim?, Why did your fiancee divorce her X husband? He said all of the questions were BS questions. Well, he left the Embassy more frustrated then ever. Well, last Friday he received another Packet 3 and the Embassy stated that for further processing he must complete another visa application.

The problem is.....He does not trust them any more. The second part of the problem is...I don't trust the system either. We follow their rules, jump through hoops and exhausted all of our money for a simple K1 visa. I feel the only option I have is to leave my 7-year old son (due to joint custody) here in the USA and move to Germany I really hate that I've been force into a situation where my son will lose his mother I'm almost positive that If I have to leave my son, I will be no good for my fiance, due to depression of not being with my child

[jen&darcy 0]

I am so sorry. I would say that is a huge decision that only you can decide if its the right thing to do.

Good Luck!

[MHandMB 0]

It's really hard to try to choose between your husband and your child. I don't think you'd be happy that way. I know you've lost trust, and I can see why, but if there's really no better option, can you just do the paperwork again and see what happens? Then, if it doesn't work, maybe try to DCF through Germany or something?

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but that's truly something you're going to have to decide. Good luck to both of you.

[lisaf 0]

It seems that having to submit a new application from packet 3 stage is better that a flat out denial?? This also means you would get another interview, yes? Is it possible that rather than having to move to Germany you can be there this time for the interview and travel together on the flight back to the USA?

I am sorry to hear of your troubles

good luck.

[M+S 0]

I think the same too..this is a chance and I really would use it esp. that u can't choose btw ur husband and son and if you left ur son you would not be happy ..so just do your best and use this second chance and insha allah ..God will be with you ..

Rabena ma3aki

Salwa

[Meriem_DZ 37]

Goldenheart. I think you guys should give it one more chance. He got the visa before, and I think he will get it again. I hope and pray that he will not have problems this time. You will be miserable if you left your child. It would be different if he was older, but he is very young and he needs his mother. Good luck.

Meriem

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Which visa application are they having him complete? Did they remove his ban?

Would it be possible for you guys to put things on hold for awhile and rebuild your cash reserves, then perhaps get legally married in Germany and apply for a K-3 or similar marriage based visa?

[Henia 11]

Esalaamu Aleikum Goldenheart....

I am so sorry for your situation.

I can kinda understand it as I too have custody issues with my daughter and at one point I had to choose to stay in the US or leave... so I do know how hard it can be...

Um...I cannot and wont give you any advice cos I do believe this is between you and Allah...but I reach out to you with (((hugs))) and my prayers...

And from what I know of Germany... you would have no problem coming and going to visit your son (if you were to move there) but also I do know the German government (and the consulates) really crack down of us Muslims unfortunely.

But anyway you and your son are in my prayers....

Sister Henia

[Veiled Princess 1]

I'm so sorry for you and you are in my prayers.

I think if it were me I'd tell him to go ahead and fill out the application again. Also, tell him no matter how rude those people are to him to just hold his head high and don't get angry and stoop to their level.

If it doesn't work then maybe go there and get married in Germany and file DCF.

I am in the same boat you're in... if it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't even be going through this... I would be in Libya right now happily enjoying my life with my husband BUT since I share custody I'm not even allowed to get passports for my kids to take them on vacation (since ALL muslims are child abducters!) I can't even take them to MEET their step-dad and if I want to go visit him I have to leave them behind with their dad who acts like it's a great chore to take care of them.

Good luck and I hope we are all able to put this whole process behind us soon!

[iceyspots 0]

Do not dump your child for a man, kids need their parents around.

[Yasi 0]

Goldenheart,

My heart goes out to you... I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

I would also suggest that go ahead and fill out another visa form. Don't let them think for a second that you're giving up or this union is what they think is just a way for your fiance to come to US. Stay strong. I know it's very difficult. Your son needs you here also.

Have faith in yourself and God. God will take you through this.

Good luck. You're in my prayers.

Yasi

[sarah and hicham 3]

I agree with Icey, do not leave your child especially since the EMbassy is giving you another chance. I think you should fill out the packet, send it back and do whatever they ask to get the Visa then he can come home. Maybe you should call them to find out what's going on to explain the packet etc.

Please don't leave your child!!

Sarah

[Together4ever 1]

I would have to agree that I would pursue reapplying. I can tell you from past experience, leaving your child/children behind even for a short time is extremely traumatic to all involved. When I went to Egypt the last time with the intention of marrying Mohammed and then returning and processing a K3 I had no idea I would literally be stuck there for almost a YEAR due to paperwork snags. Finally I had to give up and come back. I stayed in communication with my kids and they understood what was happening, but it was hard for them. It was hard for me. It was hard for Mohammed. He listened to them cry. He held me when I cried. He cried. To this day we both bear guilt over it.

Conversely, we all also survived it intact. Life isn't always "ideal". We do what we have to. No one can tell you ultimately what YOU need to do. I am praying for you both.

Oh, and one thing to consider. There is a possibility that the "rudeness" on the part of the interviewers was part of their technique and not necessarily a personal attack although I can REALLY understand how it could sure as heck feel that way. In other words, the interviewers were possibly fishing for reaction or trying to leave him in a vulnerable space so they could feel him out better. Ugly, but the way of the world.

[Omid 0]

Goldenheart - I think of you often and you're in my duas - no matter what you do, I wish you the best insha'Allah... and though I'm not in your shoes, I think I would take the additional chance as opposed to making such a gutwrenching decision.

[morocco4ever 63]

I am really curious as to which form they want you to fill out again. Is it the I-129F? My first thought is "what are they trying to learn with a second form?". There is something going on here that none of us are getting, but I very much doubt that they will tell you.

My second thought is to do it, but this time enlist a lawyer. You need to make 100% sure that the Islam marriage is not viewed as legal in the US. We all have opinions here, but you really need a good lawyer that knows for sure how the law states it.

I understand why you and your fiance don't trust them any more, I can't say I trust the system either. But the fact is that the immigration is a giant that we just can't fight, you have to play it by their rules.

As for your child, well everyone has to decide this for themselves. I can honestly say that I wouldn't leave my child behind with my ex to be with another man, no matter how much I love this man. He or she is just a child and even if you try to reason with them the only thing they will understand at the young age is that their mother left them. I wouldn't feel right doing this to a child for my own happiness.

You have a really tough decision ahead of you, I wish the best outcome.