Your age difference..Could it be a problem?

[Pinay Wife 47]

Why worry about it when it doesn't even affect you?

You should also be asking yourself this question. Why worry about the age difference when apparently, it does not affect you?

[Calypso 464]

You should also be asking yourself this question. Why worry about the age difference when apparently, it does not affect you?

And so it has been said.

FAE

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

Umm, isn't it obvious that the young woman will be able to take care of her old man?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/men_shea...nger-woman.html

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Whats wrong when my wife starts showing her 7 years? nothing. Older women are beautiful in many different ways, I love her for the same reason your wife loves you for being older than her. What happens when you start showing your 30 years? thats a rhetorical question.

So you love your wife because as an older mate she's more financially stable and will be able to provide for you?

That's the broad brush you painted younger Pinay wives with and that is where the offense is.

Again cmon guys stop with the unemployment thing its a tough economy. and "doesnt affect you". since when did unemployment become permanent and a reason not to love someone?

Nice double standard there. Yep it's a tough economy, suck it up and find work or get an education. If we can't question your inability to support your wife because "it doesn't affect us" then why can you question us on the age difference and insult our loving wives by {not simply implying but rather outright} stating that it's obvious most of them are with us simply to escape the poverty of the Philippines?

BTW, during my 20s I worked some crappy jobs to support my family.

and happyninlove.........Theres nothing remotely prejudiced about that comment and everybody here knows it. My wife knows that and thinks its unfortunate just like everybody else does, and dont play that game with me were Im naieve and ignorant of the phil and im disrespecting everybody, its like that everywere, any country

Really, lets see. prejudice is when you've pre judged a person {or entire culture}. In this case you state that most young Philippine women will marry old white guys simply to escape poverty. Have you made an indepth study on this? Where do you derive your facts? Does it happen? Of course it does. Is it the norm? I'd say while many seem to preceive it to be the norm anyone who looks at it with open eyes will see otherwise. My wife is the only member of her family married to an older Kano and the females far out number the males amoungst her cousins.

How many Pinays become OFW to support themselves {and their families}? I don't have the numbers but given the fact the the Philippines has such a support system for OFW and sending money home from overseas I'd say it far out-weighs the "marriages just to escape poverty".

If I say "Most 20-somethings who are unemployed are either too lazy to take the kind of job offered or lacks sufficent education to compete in a tough job market" then I would be making a very prejudicial statement that stikes close to home for you.

I'm offended because your overly includive {or broad} statement does in fact imply that my wife and her Pinay sisters are of low moral character. You say you've read many of the "Age Difference" threads already posted {and closed} here and yet you're suprised at the direction this one has taken? To me that is either feigned niavity or ignorance with a dash of arrogance throw-in.

Edited January 21, 2010 by Bob 4 Anna

[Mikhail 1]

'~happyndinlove~'

Alright you know as well as i do that when i said most I was not talking about 95% of the country ok, you know that..and even if you didnt that is not what i meant when i said most i meant a large majority of the filipino women who are married to much older financially well off guys, alright.....

and Bob I really dont think ur taking everything as literally and out of context as ur suggesting in all your comments I realize you are simply taking everything I say and questioning it pretending you dont get what the hell Im really trying to say...Are we in kindergarten? do i have to explain everything i say so you understand were im coming from

"So you love your wife because as an older mate she's more financially stable and will be able to provide for you?"

"That's the broad brush you painted younger Pinay wives with and that is where the offensive is. "

Nice double standard there. Yep it's a tough economy, suck it up and find work or get an education. If we can't question your inability to support your wife because "it doesn't affect us" then why can you question us on the age different and insult our loving wifes by {not simply implying but rather outright stating} that it's obvious most of them are with us simply to escape the poverty of the Philippines?

"Really, lets see. prejudice is when you've pre judged a person {or entire culture}. In this case you state that most young Philippine women will marry old white guys simply to escape poverty. Have you made an indepth study on this? Where do you derive your facts? Does it happen? Of course it does. Is it the norm? I'd say while many seem to preceive it to be the norm anyone who looks at it with open eyes will see otherwise. My wife is the only member of her family married to an older Kano and the females far out number the males amoungst her cousins."

"BTW, during my 20s I worked some crappy jobs to support my family."

WOW, ARE YOU KIDDING ME BOB.....do u really think im as stupid as your trying to portray me as?

[STEPHnRIA 2]

kainis itong thread na to. I don't know why I even bothered to participate. Paulit ulit na lang. Sometimes, I think those people who ask if age difference is a problem are those who are not sure of themselves and the relationship.

[Calypso 464]

A song from an older woman who fell for a younger man...

Young Men

©1994

Music by Tom Leighton

Lyrics by Marie-Lynn Hammond

they move as quick as flowing water

their manners are rough and their spelling's worse

they laugh too loud, but it doesn't matter

they're an unasked blessing and a blessed curse

they throw stones at your window at two in the morning

you say it's too late and you won't come down

but they are full of the juice of persistence

they know they can make you come around

and even though you feel delirious

you know you really can't get serious

not with those young men, that's who I mean

young men, so young and green

are you shocked and surprised?

are you scandalized?

or are you, admit it, tantalized?

they ask me what it was like in the sixties

did I ever see The Beatles on LSD

one minute they're making me feel so young

and the next as old as some redwood tree

they're big on rap and bands like Sonic Youth

sounds just like noise to me if you want the truth

oh God, did I really say that?

I can't believe I said that

I used to listen to The Fugs, and Hendrix

and Frank Zappa!

save me from those young men

young and strong

young men can dance all night long

are you shocked and surprised?

are you scandalized?

or are you, admit it, tantalized?

oh what would my feminist sisters think

if they knew I consorted with younger fellas

would they suspect me of reverse exploitation

while secretly feeling just a wee bit jealous

I called an older male friend and I cry

I say I've fallen for this wonderful guy

but he's just twenty-three and it's such a drag

the friend answers dryly, "don't brag!"

older men with young women never had a problem

it's this other way 'round that's all so new

I find myself doing pathetic arithmetic

when I'm forty-nine, he'll be thirty-two

and when he's forty-nine, I'll be – oh God, forget it

I'll be ancient and grey, I'll be out in the cold

'cause he can get wrinkles and he'll be distinguished

but when I get wrinkles – I'll just be old

but still and all perhaps I shouldn't complain

could be I'll never taste such sweetness again

with those young men

they have no past

young men think love can last

no mistakes to forget

they aren't jaded yet

young men they've got nothing to regret

young men are big on the big questions

why is there a universe?

why are we here?

guess I too was like that once

oh but the answers never came clear

so then I switched from why to how

and lately how shares time with when

as in – oh God, how am I going to pay the rent this month?

somebody tell me

when will I ever get lucky again?

so often these young men think I'm cynical

they can't believe they'll ever get that way

but sometimes their dreams rub off on me

if only for a day

nature's unfair

he can have kids 'til he's a hundred and one

but with me if I don't do it now

well, of course it won't get done

so he'll leave me some day for a younger woman

he'll have a family – a girl and two boys

and I'll be an old friend he can't quite explain

who drops round to visit with cookies and toys

and I'll probably have put on some weight

I'll need glasses for reading

and he'll be older too, maybe losing a little hair

but when his wife leaves the room he'll tease me and say

"ah, I'm still younger than you, so there!"

and what will he say when he looks in my eyes?

will he remember his startled delight

decades and centuries and eons ago

when I laid him down so sweet and so slow

and the stars fell around us on that August night

maybe now, now that I know

I'll find it in my heart to forgive

all those old December guys

who marry sweet May things

pretty young playthings

Picasso, Trudeau

Chaplin and Fred Astaire

'cause mostly it's men loving younger women

though you could say I'm trying to turn that around

maybe love is just what you can get away with

so maybe love could be whatever we dare

oh young men

that's who I mean

those young men

but always over eighteen!

oh young men

those young men

Source: http://www.marielynnhammond.com/mlh_63d.htm

[STEPHnRIA 2]

kainis itong thread na to. I don't know why I even bothered to participate. Paulit ulit na lang. Sometimes, I think those people who ask if age difference is a problem are those who are not sure of themselves and the relationship. In short- insecure.

Edited January 21, 2010 by STEPHnRIA

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

WOW, ARE YOU KIDDING ME BOB.....do u really think im as stupid as your trying to portray me as?

I never said you're stupid, I've said you're ignorant and you make prejudicial statements {which you pretend are innocent little questions from someone who doesn't know better}. I will remind you that stupid & ignorant are really quite different.

Either say what you mean or accept that people will think you mean what you say. So far the only defense you present is that while saying one thing you actually mean something else.

Several members here have given good responses and pointed out that your broad generalizations are incorrect yet you insist on defending them.

Edited January 21, 2010 by Bob 4 Anna

[Calypso 464]

Ooops!

Guys, it's not fun anymore when every week a thread from the Philippines subforum gets shut just like what happened last week. Maybe we can tread on safer grounds this time. We don't have to wait for one of the moderators to give us a warning.

FAE

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Guys, it's not fun anymore when every week a thread from the Philippines subforum gets shut just like what happened last week. Maybe we can tread on safer grounds this time. We don't have to wait for one of the moderators to give us a warning.

I agree, stop beating the dead horse. If you really want to know what people think about this topic just read the {countless} already closed threads and move along.

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

'~happyndinlove~'

Alright you know as well as i do that when i said most I was not talking about 95% of the country ok, you know that..and even if you didnt that is not what i meant when i said most i meant a large majority of the filipino women who are married to much older financially well off guys, alright.....

--->>> I didn't write your post...I didn't choose the word- most...it was you...remember? I will recheck my websters but I think the word most means...well...most..as in..well...like you said "large majority"....how long does it usually take you to remove your foot from your mouth?

[Mikhail 1]

everybody needs to remember that I ASKED A SIMPLE question alright, Thanks for lumping me into the crazy young reckless ignorant young man category everyone. Since when did an older woman falling for a younger man become a bad thing? I never said this whole thing with super old guys marrying there grandkids was a BAD thing, never. I was asking more the reason behind it I think esperados put it best and thats was the type of intelligent conversation i hoped to spark on this thread, I apologize if i worded anthing that may have been taken the wrong way. The point being this type of age difference was not really seen pre internet, pls dont give an obscure bible reference or 1 person that is married with an extreme age difference, you either get what i mean or you dont.

back off with the coments about me or my wife, its amazing how you guys CANT see a 27 year old falling in love with a 20 year old man without a job! OH MY GOD!!!!!...IMPOSSIBLE!!!, but the same people who dont get that understand that its totally exceptable for 20 and 30 year olds to be married to 60 year olds..Hmmm?? that makes sense not only that but strangely everybody keeps bringing up money? umm you guys are kindve unconciously saying that the whole money thing is all the matters and my WIFE is crazy for not having a man with a lot of money.

esperados's quote-To those who see the thread as an insult to pinays, i strongly disagree.

Age difference, as it relates to a lifelong union is very sensitive, but also a valid point worth discussing. There is no statistics that suggests marrying someone 30 years older/younger or someone 3 years older/younger, determines the future of marriage.

However the advent of online dating , has rejuvenated a scary situation where some men simply choose women half their age (or in some cases, the same age has their daughters) just to fulfill their fantasies . We cannot just dismiss the odds that come with such huge age differences in some cases. e.g. 60 yrs married to a 19 yr old.

I HOPE EVERYBODY IS HAPPY sorry if i offended anyone

Edited January 21, 2010 by Mikhail

[Pinay Wife 47]

Putting on my Mod cap:

Just a reminder to keep the discussion civil and this thread should be okay.

Pinay Wife

VJ Mod Team

Edited January 21, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[Calypso 464]

I agree, stop beating the dead horse. If you really want to know what people think about this topic just read the {countless} already closed threads and move along.

I know I've joined this thread but after a while, I started thinking about what happened last week. One thread was closed after a series of warnings.

According to Sarah Geronimo, "Huminahon po tayong lahat."

Maybe we should just leave the OP alone. If we stop responding, he would also cease to write more. That way, he could focus not only on finding but also getting a job. The welfare of our fellow Filipina will initially be on his hands so let's motivate him to begin earning to support her well.

FAE