11 Year Old wants to try before he stays

[selly 0]

Okay, my 11 year old son is on the verge of wanting to move to live with my US Citizen wife and me (soon to be perm resident with removed conditions). He is, as you would expect for one so young, somewhat nervous about taking the huge step of moving here permanently. As we are from the UK and can take advantage of the 90 day visa waiver program, I have suggested he comes for an extended stay and sees what he thinks. My wife is a teacher and knows of a suitable school for him to attend during the visit, so he could pretty much live as a resident for the 90 days her is here. My question is this, should at the end of the 90 days he decide that he wants to stay with me, can I file for him to remain without him needing to return to the UK? I recognize I will have to have his mothers notarized permission and file the respective forms, but I am worried that we may be committing visa fraud by doing it this way. I will stress however this is purely a fact finding exercise to see if he can settle and enjoy a non vacation atmosphere before going through the lengthy and costly process of applying. We do not at this stage have any premeditations for him to stay as we have no idea how he will settle or react to life over here.

Given the huge amount of turmoil such a move will inevitably create, it seems to us that our idea is the least stressful for him. I also struggle to see the point of interviewing minors prior to letting them get their visa? Surely the parents should be interviewed to clarify the answers to the questions. As long as paternity and permission from the other parent are received and the various medical certificates tally, the remainder should be conducted in the parents nearest visa center......... Dream on lol.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I am aware that you are able to apply for a K2 visa up to a YEAR after the K1 applicant has entered, otherwise you will have to petition for a family member. in this time he will need to remain in the UK, he is not able to remain in the US and apply to AOS. Also, he is NOT ABLE to officially attend school while on the VWP, see link here: http://estonia.usembassy.gov/visa_questions3.html under "who is not eligible".

I personally advise against your idea for several reasons, the main being... if he is there "temporarily" his experiences will differ greatly. People treating him like a visitor rather than staying permanently. His "friends" will react differently, his emotional state will be nothing like if it were permanent. People will be nicer to him thinking he's a fleeting novelty. Not trying to be mean but after witnessing lots of exchange students, that's how they'll treat him. He probably won't be as involved in the school work thinking it doesn't matter 'cause he's going home soon... etc etc.

Think of it not like an international move but if it were simply a new school. Sometimes kids don't get on well and they get upset and they want to change schools. Your son will be thinking any time he has a hardship "I want to go home". For that reason, I think you should have him visit yes, have him see the school and see what it's about, but then sit down and discuss what will happen if he decides to move. That this move means he can visit home, but he is MOVING. It isn't temporary.

Because he is unable to officially attend school, I would speak to the school your wife knows about and ask her whether he is able to attend for say a week, to get a feel for the teaching styles etc. He will also be missing out on his schooling if he takes too long in the US. If he does plan on moving, speak to the school he wants to attend, or you want him to attend, to find out when the best time to "come in" is. Perhaps he can come in before a dance so he can have that social interaction. Making sure he comes as close to the start, or there's any reading he should do. Also, with his age he's learning to spell still, so it'll be a good time to get him some US books with US spelling so he can alter the way he thinks.

I think it's good that you're so concerned about him and having him adjust well and he should know that you'll do your best to make it an easy transition, but aside from seeing his "new" hometown, his new school, and meeting his new teachers while he's over the the VWP, he won't truly feel different until he makes a move. I think perhaps letting him know that you will have a webcam set up or him so he can talk to his family and friends whenever he wants. That you'll make a good effort to make sure he gets as many "comforts" from his UK home to his US home. Discuss what holiday's he'll visit the UK on. It will take a while to adjust, to FULLY adjust and he might get sad sometimes, and he might miss home and want to go back sometimes, but he needs to know he can always go home but staying here, at least for a couple of years, will make him a dual citizen and then he can choose where he wants to stay. Perhaps even seeing a counsellor once in a while to make sure he's adjusting well is a good idea.

Good luck with your decision!

[CdnMN 0]

Selly,

I am in almost the same situation. My 12 yr old son, who lives in Canada, wants to come and live here with my wife and I. I am a LPR and my wife is a USC by birth.

There is no option for her to attend school. This is totally ridiculous, as far as I'm concerned, as my wife and I both file and pay local, State and Federal taxes.

Unfortunately, the safest thing to do is follow the proper procedures. That means filing an I130 and then waiting. Yous wife, as a USC, can petition for your daughter as her stepmother. That will at least give her an automatic visa and she will not need to wait for one to become available. That being said, it will still take about 6 - 12 months to get through all the processing.

Minor children of LPR's and USC's is an area of immigration that is just terrible. The laws are antiquated at best and are a source of frustration to many. I have tried everything under the sun to no avail. From Senators all the way up the food chain, nobody seems to recognize this as an area that needs review and fixing.

Feel free to send me a private e-mail if you want furrther info on what I have experienced.

All the best

CdnMn

[Eli the Barrowboy 16]

Oh selly .. I hear ya ... my daughter is so mixed up about coming here to start a new life ... loves it here but her friends/family are there. Sigh, it's not easy. Keep us in the loop.

R.