Lagos Consulate Round 3!!! Fight!!!

[Nwanyioma 11]

Nwanyioma, would you please clarify this statement ?

"No No. Im only 26 years old.LOL. I last visited Nigeria 1985 ."

You said you were last in Nigeria in 1985 and are only 26 years old. 1985 was 25 years ago - it is now 2010. Does this mean you were last in Nigeria as a baby? You have a passport with stamps from when you entered Nigeria as a baby? Are you sure you don't mean a different year than 1985? How old were you when you were last in Nigeria? How old were you when you had the passport showing your last entry to Nigeria? This is adding to the level of confusion about your case.

Hello Kathryn41,

I was born June 24,1983. I guess their is alot of confusion with my age. I last went to Nigeria 10/1985. I was only 2 years old then. The CO believes that we do have a bonafide relationship, but because we were addressing each other as husband and wife on the emails, she believes that we are married. In fact she believes that we got secretly married. I did send my most recent passport, she looked through the whole book and could not find any visa stamp entering/departing Nigeria. We are NOT MARRIED!!!!!! Im just so frustrated. So I had to FedEx my passport from when I was a baby to show evidence of when I last entered Nigeria.

Nwanyioma

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

My son had a passport issued when he was less than a year old so what is wrong with a 2 year old having a passport ? It is the Nigerian norm to call your fiance husband/wife once the relationship gets to the point where the marriage is definitely going to happen. My husband had a girlfriend that he had gone though the bride pride ceremony and when she was killed in an auto accident before the marriage she was buried on his property not her parents. Officers are supposedly versed in the local customs and would know this. Both members of the couple are of Nigerian heritage and it is not at all surprising that they used husband/wife as terms of endearment.

This couple met in a third country and just because she has not been to the country of her parents does not mean they have not meant or that they don't have a valid relationship.

[Nwanyioma 11]

My son had a passport issued when he was less than a year old so what is wrong with a 2 year old having a passport ? It is the Nigerian norm to call your fiance husband/wife once the relationship gets to the point where the marriage is definitely going to happen. My husband had a girlfriend that he had gone though the bride pride ceremony and when she was killed in an auto accident before the marriage she was buried on his property not her parents. Officers are supposedly versed in the local customs and would know this. Both members of the couple are of Nigerian heritage and it is not at all surprising that they used husband/wife as terms of endearment.

This couple met in a third country and just because she has not been to the country of her parents does not mean they have not meant or that they don't have a valid relationship.

NigeriaorBust,

You dont know how much you uplift with your guidance and advice. Thank you so much for all of your support. It means so much to me from the bottom of my heart (I have tears in my eyes)

Nwanyioma and Kehinde

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am disturbed by the levels of personal attacks in this thread - especially as I said to stop it. While you might not like Gary and Alla's post, the information it contained was valid even if unpopular. The tone was not offensive or abusive although it was blunt. I will state that if you dislike a post, report it to the moderators rather than continue to criticize the poster in the thread. It derails the thread from the original question and offers nothing of value. Continuing such discussions after a moderator has said to stop it is considered an additional TOS violation and will be dealt with administratively.

If you have something constructive to offer the OP, then please do so. If you are only going to criticize and insult other members of VJ, then this thread will be closed. The choice is yours.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Hello Kathryn41,

I was born June 24,1983. I guess their is alot of confusion with my age. I last went to Nigeria 10/1985. I was only 2 years old then. The CO believes that we do have a bonafide relationship, but because we were addressing each other as husband and wife on the emails, she believes that we are married. In fact she believes that we got secretly married. I did send my most recent passport, she looked through the whole book and could not find any visa stamp entering/departing Nigeria. We are NOT MARRIED!!!!!! Im just so frustrated. So I had to FedEx my passport from when I was a baby to show evidence of when I last entered Nigeria.

Nwanyioma

hi Nwanyioma,

Thanks for the clarification. Yes, I agree, the CO is really reaching if she is requiring a passport from a 2 year old child in trying to determine the validity of an adult relationship 24 years later. Good luck.

Edited January 16, 2010 by Kathryn41

[pushbrk 12,883]

I dont know what people have against Nigerians, but hey thats there business. Whether they want to judge me or not, they dont know me. Its good that people from one culture stick together especially when there is cultural bashing. Thats what some of these VJ members do.

With all due respect, if anybody is bashing your culture it would be the Consular officer. There's a critical difference between criticizm offered about behavior that negatively impacts visa issuance and "culture bashing". Unmarried people submitting evidence in which they call themselves husband and wife, is a bad idea. Emphasis is on the mistake of submitting redacted communication evidence, not the culture.

My wife is Chinese. We called each other by the same Laogong and Laopo we do now, once we made the decision to marry but did not submit evidence to testify against ourselves. Of course in our case we took the spouse visa route but the husband/wife references began before the marriage just the same.

I don't think anybody is knocking your culture. We're saying the evidence you submitted is what is causing the bullet hole feeling in your feet/heart right now. There may also be other issues impacting your case status of which we are not aware.

Edited January 16, 2010 by pushbrk

[Nwanyioma 11]

With all due respect, if anybody is bashing your culture it would be the Consular officer. There's a critical difference between criticizm offered about behavior that negatively impacts visa issuance and "culture bashing". Unmarried people submitting evidence in which they call themselves husband and wife, is a bad idea. Emphasis is on the mistake of submitting redacted communication evidence, not the culture.

My wife is Chinese. We called each other by the same Laogong and Laopo we do now, once we made the decision to marry but did not submit evidence to testify against ourselves. Of course in our case we took the spouse visa route but the husband/wife references began before the marriage just the same.

I don't think anybody is knocking your culture. We're saying the evidence you submitted is what is causing the bullet hole feeling in your feet/heart right now. There may also be other issues impacting your case status of which we are not aware.

Pushbrk,

Thanks for the reply. I agree and disagree with your post. I agree with your post to extent that calling each other husband wife on emails would be a problem. But we honestly didnt know that. If we had knew, Im sure the outcome of this case would have been a little different. I disagree with your post because I do feel indeed that most VJ members on this website do bash each others cultures. Like I said before, this visa journey is a long and difficult journey. I really feel as adults (Im presuming) that we be more considerate and sensitive when reply or advicing couples. No one in their right state of mind being in the situation Im in wants to hear "I told you so, How did you not know, Why did you do that" etc belittleing comments of such. Am I having a visa interview with another CO or a VJ member? That can lower ones intergrity and thats not fair. I hear time and time again Your dealing with the highest fraud consulate. Were not the only one. I really wish that people on this website can show more empathy towards fellow members. Nothing else is impacting my case status. What I posted is what really happened during the interview. I just feel if no one has any good advice or words of encouragement, then dont post a response.Its just that simple. We VJ members are hear on this website for the same purpose: to migrate and be with their loved ones and have a smooth visa journey so that the process will not be difficult.People need to be mindful of what they say to others. Its not what you say, its how you say it.

Nwanyioma

[Krikit 1,164]

This is the final warning to remain civil and on topic. If it continues in this vein, the thread will be closed and administrative action will be taken. Thank you.

[ScottThuy 140]

Pushbrk,

Thanks for the reply. I agree and disagree with your post. I agree with your post to extent that calling each other husband wife on emails would be a problem. But we honestly didnt know that. If we had knew, Im sure the outcome of this case would have been a little different. I disagree with your post because I do feel indeed that most VJ members on this website do bash each others cultures. Like I said before, this visa journey is a long and difficult journey. I really feel as adults (Im presuming) that we be more considerate and sensitive when reply or advicing couples. No one in their right state of mind being in the situation Im in wants to hear "I told you so, How did you not know, Why did you do that" etc belittleing comments of such. Am I having a visa interview with another CO or a VJ member? That can lower ones intergrity and thats not fair. I hear time and time again Your dealing with the highest fraud consulate. Were not the only one. I really wish that people on this website can show more empathy towards fellow members. Nothing else is impacting my case status. What I posted is what really happened during the interview. I just feel if no one has any good advice or words of encouragement, then dont post a response.Its just that simple. We VJ members are hear on this website for the same purpose: to migrate and be with their loved ones and have a smooth visa journey so that the process will not be difficult.People need to be mindful of what they say to others. Its not what you say, its how you say it.

Nwanyioma

You are so much closer to the visa than before... it will happen soon... Thuy and I call each other husband and wife even though we are not yet married.. were it not for the visa hurdle, we would have married a long time ago... Others I know use the same terms for each other and they were approved...

[Krikit 1,164]

This thread is now closed for repeated TOS violations.

[Krikit 1,164]

I have removed posts containing TOS violations and have re-opened the thread at the OP's request. Again.... please stay on topic and keep it civil. Thank you.

[Aniomaman 0]

Pushbrk,

Thanks for the reply. I agree and disagree with your post. I agree with your post to extent that calling each other husband wife on emails would be a problem. But we honestly didnt know that. If we had knew, Im sure the outcome of this case would have been a little different. I disagree with your post because I do feel indeed that most VJ members on this website do bash each others cultures. Like I said before, this visa journey is a long and difficult journey. I really feel as adults (Im presuming) that we be more considerate and sensitive when reply or advicing couples. No one in their right state of mind being in the situation Im in wants to hear "I told you so, How did you not know, Why did you do that" etc belittleing comments of such. Am I having a visa interview with another CO or a VJ member? That can lower ones intergrity and thats not fair. I hear time and time again Your dealing with the highest fraud consulate. Were not the only one. I really wish that people on this website can show more empathy towards fellow members. Nothing else is impacting my case status. What I posted is what really happened during the interview. I just feel if no one has any good advice or words of encouragement, then dont post a response.Its just that simple. We VJ members are hear on this website for the same purpose: to migrate and be with their loved ones and have a smooth visa journey so that the process will not be difficult.People need to be mindful of what they say to others. Its not what you say, its how you say it.

Nwanyioma

Nne like I said earlier, if anyone attacks any Nigerian on here again or makes any derogatory remarks it will not me on my watch. The worst they can do is use their so-called admin powers to remove my posts or block my ip address. People go thru enough stress going thru Lagos embassy without needing some cold-hearted people on here giving reminding them of that. If their only claim to power is vj, too bad.

I will be praying for you and I am sure your hubby will be fine when he takes in the evidence needed this week. Ogadicha nma. It is well. Stay Blessed.

Nwaoma

[Nwanyioma 11]

Nne like I said earlier, if anyone attacks any Nigerian on here again or makes any derogatory remarks it will not me on my watch. The worst they can do is use their so-called admin powers to remove my posts or block my ip address. People go thru enough stress going thru Lagos embassy without needing some cold-hearted people on here giving reminding them of that. If their only claim to power is vj, too bad.

I will be praying for you and I am sure your hubby will be fine when he takes in the evidence needed this week. Ogadicha nma. It is well. Stay Blessed.

Nwaoma

Nwaoma,

Thank you soo soo much for your support and kind words and meaningful prayer wishes. You dont know how you uplift me with all your words of encouragement. I may have not been born in Nigeria, but my father is an IGBO man. And where my father is from is where Im from. Im very educated about my culture and I will defend our country to the fullest. Dalu. God Bless you

Nwanyioma

[Jesu gbamila 0]

Dise,

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I really need that right now. What she wants is my passport from when I was 2 years old to prove that I indeed visited Nigeria in 1985. The passport is expired. I sent it immediately priority via FedEx. When your desperate what can you do. That consulate is very very difficult. I cant wait for this visa journey to be over.Im tired.

Nwanyioma

my advice is go to the interview with your fiancee because that you visited nigeria last was when you are baby .going to nigeria can help convince the consular