Going back home to Ireland.. the North of anyway

[Gemmie 142]

You're not a loser or a failure for moving back, or even thinking about it.

Yes, you spent 3-4 years trying to build a life here, but you know what, things happen. You came here to be with someone, and it turned out not to work. I've met people in my home country that told me how they used to live in X but came home because it just didn't fit them; all of them say that there were good points about living there, and they all had an experience that many people don't get to have.

I would hate to think that my family and friends thought of me as a failure if I ever returned to the UK a few years down the road.

[aidan80 9]

Thanks for all the positive comments they are very welcome. Further insulting comments are not I didn't sit down type all this out just to be insulted. My returning or staying for that matter would never been seen by me as a failure. To fail would be to give up or surrender in life. Where I was and where I've gotten in life so far is very far from failure. Like the majority of us on this board we're all pushing onward in our own directions towards what makes us happy.

[FortLaudy 10]

There's nothing wrong with moving somewhere, building a life there and then leaving when you've had enough or are no longer happy there... Many people do that all over the world, when I was living in the middle east (4 years) people from all over the world came over to work there or moved there to be with a loved one, Most didn't stay for many many different reasons, it's just a personal choice.

[Jenn! 918]

I think I could honestly run a poll and we could all vote on it!

I'm pretty sure that's already been done, actually.

ETA: Yup! http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=60895

Edited January 14, 2010 by Jenn!

[Staashi 371]

Aidan, any thoughts on maybe staying for a while longer and getting your citizenship and then you can return to Ireland in the future?

[aidan80 9]

I'm pretty sure that's already been done, actually.

ETA: Yup! http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=60895

Why am I not surprised lol!

[aidan80 9]

Aidan, any thoughts on maybe staying for a while longer and getting your citizenship and then you can return to Ireland in the future?

I thought about it and I'd be able to apply for it around August 2011 then I'd be on the waiting list! I've still not 100% made up my mind yet. I'm still thinking the move would be best but I'm going to visit check some stuff out first. I don't wanna move over then find I was better off staying lol Who knows I could visit and hate the idea then I'd look elsewhere in the States. I think if I stayed I'd look where there's just a few more Irish people lol

[Pooky 3,786]

My God.

Some of the people here are right wankers.

And some are left ones.

[alienlovechild 75]

I can't say I agreed with a lot your of posts but it's your personal decision based on your circumstances and who is better able to judge what you should do? It's not a one-way ticket and could end up anywhere in the world. I know people who were born, lived and died without ever leaving a given area and that's the way most people of humanity lived and still do in some developing countries.

There's the "grass in greener" effect and you may find yourself wondering why you moved back to Ireland/N. Ireland. You probably already had your fill of life here and at least can weigh the advantages and disadvantages.

Edited January 15, 2010 by alienlovechild

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I can't say I agreed with a lot your of posts but it's your personal decision based on your circumstances and who is better able to judge what you should do? It's not a one-way ticket and could end up anywhere in the world. I know people who were born, lived and died without ever leaving a given area and that's the way most people of humanity lived and still do in some developing countries.

Lots of Americans live like that too, with slightly larger radii of course.

[scandal 951]

Lots of Americans live like that too, with slightly larger radii of course.

That's very true.

About 10 years ago when my kids were much younger and still in preschool, we had an experience of the "two field trips".

In 1998 we were living in Haifa, Israel. The kids preschool was organizing a daylong field trip to Jerusalem - about a 2 hour drive. Most of the kids had never been there and were excited. One of the teachers at the preschool, a woman in her 40s had also never been there. She had never been outside of about a 20km radius of the northern city of Haifa and was now about to travel to the most distant place she'd ever been, though still within the fairly tiny country of Israel.

A year later, we had relocated to California and were living in south Bay area, in Santa Clara county. Sure enough, a field trip was planned to San Francisco Zoo - about 40 miles north. Silicon Valley being quite cosmopolitan, it's fair to say that there were kids there who had been (or come from) remote places - India and Taiwan being prominent. Nonetheless there were also kids who had never been out of Santa Clara county and were thrilled to travel "all the way to San Francisco".

What seemed neat to me is that to the Haifa kids (and the 40 year old teacher) - Santa Clara County CA would seem like an impossibly remote and distant place. To the CA kids, Israel would be just as exotic. To my kids, both of these places along with others they had already been to (Canada, Brazil) seemed familiar.

[FortLaudy 10]

Sometimes I think that sense of adventure is in one's blood too.. just looking at my family, I have sisters in Portugal, South Africa and New Zealand, an aunt, uncle, cousins in France and I'm over here in the USA and before spent 4 years in the middle east where I was a flight attendant travelling the world. Maybe it had something to do with my dad's adventurous spirit moving from Portugal to South Africa and the travel bug rubbed off on all of us as we travelled through Africa growing up, it probably does have a lot to do with ones parents and how much of a sheltered way you were brought up in, but even today I have no problem just packing a suitcase and flying to Paris, thank God my hubby has the same adventurous spirit or that might be a problem, lol !!!

Then, I have a friend here who has never even been out of the state of Florida and has no plans to go either... her parents have neither, go figure. I don't understand how one does not want to at least travel a bit before, getting married and popping out a few kids, in South Africa it's quite common for high school grads to take a "break year" and go work in London or Israel for a year before starting college, here I don't see that so much... So to me it has something to do with ones parents and the way you were brought up and I guess where your priorities lie in life. But certainly for me there's nothing wrong with travelling the world and living in different countries and also just staying put where you were born for the rest of your life, for me travelling and exploring the world is far more important than popping out a couple of kids, for others it's the other way around... so be it, whatever blows your hair back mate nothing to feel ashamed about...

[Staashi 371]

I thought about it and I'd be able to apply for it around August 2011 then I'd be on the waiting list! I've still not 100% made up my mind yet. I'm still thinking the move would be best but I'm going to visit check some stuff out first. I don't wanna move over then find I was better off staying lol Who knows I could visit and hate the idea then I'd look elsewhere in the States. I think if I stayed I'd look where there's just a few more Irish people lol

Here's my two cents for whatever they are worth: Stay in the states but move to a place that you have always wanted to live. It's you and your cat. Surely, that isn't difficult to pack you two up and to go someplace else. See about lining up a decent job before you get there. Hang in the US and apply for your citizenship in 2011 - if you're eligible in August, you'll most likely have it by December 2011. What happens if you go back to Ireland and realize you really had become accustomed to the US and now you'd have to go through all the hoops again?

[Peikko 1,575]

I would not move back to Northern Ireland after living in the US unless you really, really like small town life. It will feel very clausterphobic and parochial, because that is what it is and there are very few oppertunities work wise.

That said, I love the country and visiting (when the weather co-operates) is wonderful.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Here's my two cents for whatever they are worth: Stay in the states but move to a place that you have always wanted to live. It's you and your cat. Surely, that isn't difficult to pack you two up and to go someplace else. See about lining up a decent job before you get there. Hang in the US and apply for your citizenship in 2011 - if you're eligible in August, you'll most likely have it by December 2011. What happens if you go back to Ireland and realize you really had become accustomed to the US and now you'd have to go through all the hoops again?

I think this post brings up a valid consideration. It also reminded me of my Mom's best friends. They were originally from Scotland and immigrated to Canada. After many years here they were becoming more and more disillusioned and decided that they would move back 'home' where they wouldn't have the problems they did here. So they did. Within a year they were back in Canada. 'Home' in Scotland was no longer home. They realized that so many of the things that they took for granted in Canada were not readily available in Scotland - not that it was a critique of Scotland but they had forgotten some of the things that had bothered them when they lived in Scotland as well. Having a chance to compare the two lives more intimately they realized they had become too Canadianized to adapt to living comfortably again in Scotland. They said that in many ways it is true - you 'can't' go 'home' to your memories. Even in a few years things change; you change; all you can do is go forward.

Going forward may be returning to Ireland for you - but it may also be moving somewhere else within the US. Why not also investigate that option and see if it works. The US is a big country and there may be that perfect 'fit' for you here somewhere, yet.

Again, good luck with whatever decision you make.