Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 22)

[DedicatedWife 4]

She wants me to send it if he cant...where does she think I will get it from? I have bills up to my eyeballs. She will be ok.

Chile....

[DedicatedWife 4]

AMQUEEN, They will put whoever you included on the application on the interview letter cause if you guys wanted she can get a K2, but if not just tell them at the interview she will not be traveling with him.

Thanks for the info. They didn't have Den's son on his...good...I guess its a sign...he needs to stay right there with his mama! Naw, I'm not like that...if it came down to where they agreed it would be the best for his son then I wouldn't have a problem with it.

[sus 70]

JG, your package is in the mail today!

[phillyfashionista 8]

In 14 minutes, I have my first one-on-one meeting with my new manager. She's the first female manager I've had in a LOOOONG time. Actually, she might be the first.

I prepared days ago, so I'm ready for whatever she asks me during our HOUR LONG meeting.

How did your meeting go?

Hi peeps! Hope everyone is doing well. I have been sick as hell the last few weeks....don't even know what the frick day it is anymore...tired of being in the house. I'm looking forward to getting back to a somewhat normal routine come Monday.

Hey Finesse sorry you haven't been feeling well, how are you feeling today?

When are you gonna get a FB account ???

This is why I don't post until I read everything. I am always worried that I would post a statement like "OH Don't U Just Love Pink Toilet Paper" right after someone just got finished posting something extremely sad. That said, let me go finish reading these last 7 pages. Be right back!

LMAO that is so dang funny!

[DaDa 1]

Ells…

I think why Lehi is so upset is because his friends are exactly that. HIS FRIENDS. I think being over here and not really knowing anyone he finally met some people that he feels cool with to call friends and maybe around them he doest feel so lonely are like he doesn’t belong. See your friends are your friends he met them through you but these misfits are his.

I totally see your point. Now that he has the opportunity you want him to push forward and want more for his life. I think you are so on the right path it’s just your delivery. You want to push him without shoving him. Its little things us woman can do like bringing ut the subject at the oddest times. I think you should have laid it all down on the line and told him what you desire, want and expect. Signing him up without his consent was kind of mean. I think that is why he is upset one your are pulling him away from his crew and two you just signed him up without letting him have a say so. Tell him there is nothing wrong with taking these classes he can still hang out with his buddies after school hours or on the weekends. And then just make sure on the weekends or after school hours you keep him busy …LOL

Steve Harvey just made a good point. He said the bible says a man without a dream or goal shall parish...

[LadyC 1]

Ells…

I think why Lehi is so upset is because his friends are exactly that. HIS FRIENDS. I think being over here and not really knowing anyone he finally met some people that he feels cool with to call friends and maybe around them he doest feel so lonely are like he doesn’t belong. See your friends are your friends he met them through you but these misfits are his.

I totally see your point. Now that he has the opportunity you want him to push forward and want more for his life. I think you are so on the right path it’s just your delivery. You want to push him without shoving him. Its little things us woman can do like bringing ut the subject at the oddest times. I think you should have laid it all down on the line and told him what you desire, want and expect. Signing him up without his consent was kind of mean. I think that is why he is upset one your are pulling him away from his crew and two you just signed him up without letting him have a say so. Tell him there is nothing wrong with taking these classes he can still hang out with his buddies after school hours or on the weekends. And then just make sure on the weekends or after school hours you keep him busy …LOL

Steve Harvey just made a good point. He said the bible says a man without a dream or goal shall parish...

Thanks Dada this might come in handy for me too

[*JG* 2]

Afternoon Yardies!

So what have I missed since pg. 59? I don't think I can try & catch up today.

Little 'adjustment' update & I'm going to try not to sound like I only come on here to b@#$h about stuff. So, I'm not shy to admit that hubby has no education & has been going to adult literacy classes to catch up & hopefully get to the point in the not-too-distant future where he can take GED classes & achieve that. Well, lately I've felt like the program we have him in is just a little too lax & I don't like the other 'students' that he is associating with there. It is a program where the main focus is on the homeless & disabled. I'm deeply appreciative of all they've done so far for him but it's time to pick up the pace. This program focuses on chronically disabled or homeless & hubby is neither of those things. Unfortunately, it is not the most motivating environment when you are around people who have been in the program 4 years & still are in level 1.

This week, he came home as I was getting ready for bed after coming home from my evening class & he had been drinking. That part is okay...for the most part. What is not okay is that he was hanging out in front of the library like the bums do drinking beer out of a paper bag. I told him that if a cop wants to be a jerk, he might have been issued a fine for doing something like that or harrassed by the law. The friends he was hanging with were from that school & one is illegally here from Belize after overstaying a visa & I'm fairly certain deals in stolen merchandise like Ipods (even if he isn't the one committing the crimes) & the other is not attending the program now because his ex-GF who still goes had a 16 y/o daughter he decided to fool around with (molest). These are not the kind of people he needs to be associating with no matter how desperate he is for friends.

So this morning, I've been mulling this over for a few weeks now & finally discovered that City College has ESL/literacy classes that will be 5 days a week & should keep him a lot more occupied than he has been. He's worried about getting a job & I made it clear, even before he got here, that his JOB would be going to school. He thinks I'm pushing him to do more than he's ready for but I now just say TOO DYAM BAD! I want him to see examples of immigrants who are really trying to do something instead of the US-born folks at the other program who mostly only attend the occasional class just so they can take advantage of the free lunches & other giveaways/ public assistance. Some of his classmates have even encouraged him to try & get on disability!! FOR WHAT?? He's perfectly capable & willing to work...unlike most of them!

We parted ways after enrolling him & sharing a lunch where I tried to understand why he was so perturbed but he wouldn't talk to me....just kept rolling his eyes sorta. I told him my reasons for this decision as well as a few other things....basically told him that his level of motivation needs to increase because it's time! Neither of us were very happy when I went back to work & he went off to his afternoon school to talk to his favorite teacher about what a mean wife I am.

Well, I don't really know what my point is & I may get some criticism for being such a shrew but frankly, I don't care. He's the kinda guy that needs a push & I'm here to give it to him....or else eventually, he'll have to get to steppin. I don't have time in my life to coddle or baby a grown man.

SOOOOO, how is everyone else today??

Well, IMO, Leah......Your wording will be seen as a little harsh; but on the whole, having been there, I get exactly what you are saying.

Andre HAD a job and still got himself into trouble. It sucks when you have to put your foot down; but you do sometimes. IDK about where you live; but St. Louis is not Jamaica. We had many heated discussions about driving while intoxicated and/or while imbibing in other things. We had many heated discussions about who and where you can and cannot hang out and what you can even do there. In the end, it didn't matter cause he thought he was right and he did what he wanted. I ended up bailing him out of more trouble and the whole time I was pissed off at his just plain stupidity and what I felt was lack of respect. Most of it did come on his downtime so keeping busy is an issue. But, it eventually came about during work hours and just kept on going and that was more then I could handle. I do blame his choice of friends. But, I say it as HIS choice of friends. He ignored my objections and eventually our knock down drag out arguments about them and the situations he was in.

I know exactly where you are coming from. It's something for both of you to work through. But, he has to be willing to listen and talk it out or you are talking to a brick wall.

As far as being ready to do it......he has to catch up to speed. It's not going to be easy. But, putting it off is not going to do a damn thing.

[*JG* 2]

Well that is what you are doing when you make the decisions for him. Did you just demand him to go to this new school or did you guys sit down and discuss it? Seems like you already made your mind up and his before he even had a chance. He has to have a voice in this too.

I agree with you regarding that isn't the best place for him to further his education and it is the best choice to go to the other one. However...just telling him this is what he is going to do now is not fair.

I agree to a point. I'm sorry; but I have been there. You can talk till you are blue in the face; but when you see your life flash before your eyes cause you think God we worked so long and hard for this and you are going to throw it all away..........well, you might think differently.

[DaDa 1]

Oh God thats horrible!

Oh not so fast missy!!!! You can't possibly leave us hanging like this!!!!

[NatPatBen 3]

Come to CT - $1500 for a one bedroom -

That's just a shame. In Norman, Oklahoma (Boomer Sooner!), my friends shared a 2 bedroom for about $500.

How did your meeting go?

The meeting with my manager went well, except for the phone connection. I called her cell phone, since she's in Brazil & it was 8pm at the time of our call, but there was so much background noise (wind & whatever) that I struggled to hear every word & had to have her repeat things a lot.

[DaDa 1]

She doesn't go by her real name on there (unless her parents were very unorthodox with names).

I was thinking the same thing when I saw her name.

I think she took a break from us on VJ. With the interview being postponed she might be kind of upset right now.

[LadyC 1]

That's just a shame. In Norman, Oklahoma (Boomer Sooner!), my friends shared a 2 bedroom for about $500.

The meeting with my manager went well, except for the phone connection. I called her cell phone, since she's in Brazil & it was 8pm at the time of our call, but there was so much background noise (wind & whatever) that I struggled to hear every word & had to have her repeat things a lot.

$500 for 2 bdr...wow....

[*JG* 2]

Hey Ells

Let me tell you my opinion. I think you were right overall in what you did.

Clearly it is a hindrance to your life and his.

Clearly it is taking him into a different crowd, with different goals.

That is not what you want.!!!!!!

We are here to give our spouses, boyfriends, and love ones advice and love.

When you changed the school I feel that what you were doing loving him.

DRINKING In front of the Library oh no girl oh no.

This is your life. Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.

JG told me something that really knocked me upside my head.

When my hubby drove the car with no license just a permit. She told me I should of went with my first mind. I feel that was correct but because I was so hurt of what he said to me or what he could of said to me, I let him go. The devil is so busy anything could of happened. He could of got into an accident or anything. but the only thing that happened was a fat ticket (thank God), but I was scared of that too.

Go with your heart and whats better for you two in the long run.

Stay strong girl.

He will thank you in the future.

Thanks JQ. That's what I said basically too.

The thing is, guys, and don't yell at me cause I don't give a #######...........No, they are not children. But, they are like infants in the US in a sense that there are different rules and the consequences of those rules can be pretty severe. One mistep during parts of this process can lead to deportation and a permenant ban. To even get to the US is so damn long and stressful. You SEE IT in your head. You see them being arrested, deported, banned.....you KNOW you can't keep up the relationship indefinately then as LDR's are expensive. And, I don't care what anyone says, you start thinking OMG, YOU are risking everything. You start taking it personally as a sign of disrespect. So, you sit there and you preach what is acceptable and what is not in the US. You find yourself saying you are not in Jamaica anymore. You have to follow the rules....the laws. And, in a way, you do feel like you are having to guide them more then you want to. It is what it is. They need to learn the groundwork to be able to take off on their own. Of course, he will get a job eventually, his own friends, his own hobbies or whatever. But, for now, you do have to watch over him and instruct him sometimes. And, in my experience, he always knows better and rolls his eyes. Let me tell you, him knowing better had me bailing him out of jail and driving around the neighborhood looking for my car at 3 a.m. Not to mention constantly having to do repairs on my car and finding more jobs for interview cause he couldn't seem to pass a drug test........I could go on and on.

Sometimes you do have to take that stand. You treat with kid gloves cause you don't want to disrespect nor talk down to. But, when you have to you yell till you get your point across. And, sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do; but you stand up, be strong, and like JQ said, you do it for the good of both of your futures. There is a bigger picture here and he isn't seeing it yet. You have to show him.

Dills how's the weather been your way?

Like living in England.......cold, rainy, and very foggy all day and night. It sucks.

[MsSheka 0]

I JUST TALKED TO BUNZ AND SHE WAS APPROVED!!!!!WOOOOHHOOOOO!!

[IrieCat 2]

Well... hubby goes away and the wife plays....

My weekend just got busy! LOL

Tierra and I are going on a "date" tonight. If she is feeling ok. She has a bit of a sore throat, runny/stuffy nose.

We are going to get all dressed up in fancy dresses and go for Pizza!

Tomorrow morning, girls breakfast and going to help paint a kitchen while our daughters play in all the snow.

Saturday night Motor Booty again... gotta love disco!

Sunday my brother is taking T to the movies and she is bringing me to BINGO... now get this... if you win, you get sex toys! Its sex toy party bingo! HAHAHA!

I JUST TALKED TO BUNZ AND SHE WAS APPROVED!!!!!WOOOOHHOOOOO!!

Woooo Hoooooo! Wonderful news!