Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 22)

[phillyfashionista 8]

We have to have each others backs and pick each other up - or kick the azz of the one who knocked our friend down! Love you too!

Ain't that the truth Sus, I learn so much from you ladies, you have been there and bless us with your knowledge so we can better approach these issues. What JG said this morning was so poignant and trust me I take everything to heart. I'm new to the marriage thing and it's not always easy and it's definitely a learning process and I am so thankful that I have all of you as a support system!

Thanks for posting about Western Union Money gram is doing the same thing Thanks God cause I have to send $$$ tonight and those fees are steep....

You gave me hope too JG along with some other ladies! It's good to have a good support system

Ditto!

so hubby is totally clueless about the lifting of conditions thing....i keep bringing it up to him saying we need to get our shyt together and be ready to mail this ####### by march 6....he keeps saying why do we have to do that again

anyway, have any of you recently done LOC? I'm really not trying to send in a ridiculous amount of #######...just the main and most important things to get approved and over with....

Finesse girl we don't file till 2011 but I jsut mentioned that I already started the paperwork and making sure I have everything ready when the time comes. Listening to all of the AOS horror stories prompted me to be proactive!

I agree JG sometimes you do talk till your blue in the face. See I have a demanding personality so with my soon to be X I tried my best to clam it down but after a while it felt like I was his mother instead of his partner.

Part of me blames myself. I think what I did wrong was I stepped into the situation trying to be Ms. fix it. If there was a problem I fixed it I never gave him a chance to try and solve situations himself or stand on his own tow feet. So then after a while I got tired of being the “ man “ and when he couldn’t step up to take charge I got upset and wanted out. Well part of me thinks I created the monster so that is what I get. I know going forward to let a man think for himself!!! If he can’t do it that is a signal to keep it moving.

Our biggest disagreement were he was making a decent living at his job but he was a custodian. I’m not knocking him being a custodian I just wanted him to want more for our himself and our children. He worked for a college so he was able to go to school for free and so many times different postings came up where he could apply to be the supervisor or manager of the department and he never gave any of it a shot. It was hell trying to put fire under his rass. Then he drank on top of that. Oh hell naw!!! I put so much energy into trying to get him to do better that hell I lost the fire to make myself do better.

You can’t make a person change they have to want to change. Some men with a push will do it and others won’t if there set in there ways. Lehi sounds like a decent dude so I’m hoping with some pushing from Ells she’ll get him to move but I think if he’s being told what to do he’ll rebel. I think she is on the right path she just has to watch her approach. I want her to be his wife/partner not his momma.

Thanks for Sharing Dada Real Talk Sis!

Dada, We rarely agree, lol - But you hit the nail on the head with this post.

I know someone that came up on a K1 - his wife did EVERYTHING for him, told him what to do, where to go, who to be friends with, what to eat - almost to the point of when to take a shyt. It wasn't a partnership, it was a dictatorship - He had had enough and left her - But the scariest thing was, he didn't know how to function in the US - how to open a bank account, balance a checkbook, find a job, take classes - nothing - she had dictated to him for 4 years and not worked with him to help him learn.

WOW Sus that is really scary how damaging coddling can be......

[Ellsinlove 2]

Morning/Afternoon Yardies!

Congrats to Bunz & Sheka on the good news today!

Dillon, glad your Dad is doing better now!

Cat, sounds like a fun weekend planned!

Well ladies, thank you all for your input, whether or not you agree with my approach. JG, thanks for putting into words how I feel about all this....you definitely have been through it & know it. Den's & Mrstee (& who else did I miss?)...glad you understand too. I know the way I write it here sounds harsh & controlling & to a degree it is. But frankly, we don't have time to waste. Living in one of the most expensive cities in the country demands a great deal & when you have zero education, it's extremely challenging to succeed here. However, this is also the best place to get a great education & for FREE! I wasn't planning to sign him up until I did some on-line research yesterday & realized that just like my semester, the literacy classes were on the same time-line through City College & the semester is starting this week. I wanted him to start when everyone else did so he wouldn't feel behind & could start at the same time. He can still continue his other program but he has been so mopey lately with the weather & not having many friends that I felt like he could really get immersed in it & not have so much time to feel blue.

We have been discussing more school for several weeks now but I honestly just stumbled across the college courses & wanted to take advantage from the start. If we'd waited, he wouldn't have an opportunity to get started until next semester & he has nothing else to do so why not? That was our agreement before he came here (that his job would be to go to school & get his GED) so it's not like I'm throwing a curveball at him. After so many terrible stories he'd tell about the people he goes to class with at the other program, I kept saying, we need to get you out of that school & he always nodded in agreement. There has already been some drama that I've had to help him get over (& tell him to ignore the drama) because other classmates tried to intimidate him. His Belizian friend was staying at another classmates house, paying her a little rent & sleeping with her in exchange for room & board. The woman feels threatened by him & Lehi hanging out & was making it a little hard for Lehi at times in class. It was stories like this that have had me trying to figure out what other programs I could find for him & to get him in better company with people more concerned with getting an education than creating pointless drama. After researching like crazy, I accidentally found the college offerings & realized he was eligible now.

He was just nervous & scared yesterday. We went to the school together at my lunch & he was assessed by the counselor & we selected his classes. He seemed reassured when I told him going to that school didn't mean he'd have to quit the other program which he likes because a couple teachers are really good to him. He can even go to his weekly Tuesday morning class at the other as long as he makes arrangements with the City College teacher. When I got home last night from school & errands, he'd done a lot of thinking & decided this was probably good for him....his own words were to the effect that he wouldn't HAVE to be around all the homeless & what-not now. He just didn't like the way I approached it....I agree that I need to work on that but sometimes, you only know one way. I'm going to try to learn to be more 'persuasive' rather than forceful. So, this morning, we went early & I walked him the few blocks from where I work to help him find his way to his new class (even though I showed him yesterday) & he seemed to be okay. He was a bit more enthusiastic this morning although still nervous & he wanted me to come with him & said that would make it better.

Now, I just need to wait another half hour when his 2nd class gets out & call him to see how it was.

[DaDa 1]

Dada, We rarely agree, lol - But you hit the nail on the head with this post.

I know someone that came up on a K1 - his wife did EVERYTHING for him, told him what to do, where to go, who to be friends with, what to eat - almost to the point of when to take a shyt. It wasn't a partnership, it was a dictatorship - He had had enough and left her - But the scariest thing was, he didn't know how to function in the US - how to open a bank account, balance a checkbook, find a job, take classes - nothing - she had dictated to him for 4 years and not worked with him to help him learn.

What??? Does my eyes deceive me??? Sus agrees with me?? Well I be got darn. I would do some more dances but hell I can’t think of anymore..lol

I agree I did the same thing. My soon to be X is so clueless and he is from the states. Lol Know where he is living? Back with his momma because he has no clue on how to stand on his own too feet. That is what I should have did, I should have worked WITH him not FOR him. He didn’t leave me I left him I couldn’t take it no more but in the end I know there are a lot of things I could have done different. But like they say you Live, Learn Apply and Move on. Next time I‘ll know better.

[MsSheka 0]

you gonna need a wheel chair with all those moves lol

[DaDa 1]

I'm going to try to learn to be more 'persuasive' rather than forceful.

Ells you said what I wanted to hear. That you were going to try and be more persuasive instead of being forceful. I told you I agree with what you want 100% its just your approach is all I was concerned about. It sounds like at the end of the day you and Lehi see eye to eye so that is all that matters.

But umm the chick is letting him stay and eat for free in exchange for sexual favors? Wow is it really that hard to find someone to you? Man what does she look like?

[phillyfashionista 8]

I have a date night with my oldest daughter tonight too. We’re doing Build a Bear and then Cheesecake Factory.

That sounds so nice I love that place! I have a date with my oldest son the 2nd of NEVRUARY!

You too MsTee?? My oldest son’s family hasn’t seen him in I don’t know how many years but all of a sudden they have taken a sudden interest in him and they call now and even sent him a Xmas card this year. Well now they want him to come and stay with them in Orlando? Umm noo I don’t know you people. Of course my son sees me as the bad mother.. I’m 13 I’ll be o.k…He wants to get to know this side of his family blah blah blah. I told him but Da I don’t know these people. They could be child molesters for all I know. He told me to fly down with him and stay for a week then I can leave him for the rest of the summer. Wow nothing like getting to now people in a week ey? I wish it was that easy. I told him when he is 16 he possibly can go. At that age I MIGHT and I use the word loosely feel more comfortable with him being older.

Girl Yes my son's sperm donor called him to say he wanted to spend time and them my Son faked sick so he didn't have to go, I guess I am not the only one that can see through his BS

its painted, crib, dresser, changing table set up....still need to put together other crib....going shopping for some sort of storage system to put in the closet (those ones at home depot that you can customize to your closet with shelves and drawers and baskets)....also want to put up some decorative shelves on the wall but think we will wait to see what we get from the showers. the room is on the small side especially with 2 cribs in it so we have to maximize every possible bit of space in there.....

Finesse that sounds lovely we would love to see the pics on FB

[MRStee 19]

Just thought I'd go off topic for a minute and give a shoutout to the Maritime Administration for the following news release. My company operates 11 Maritime Admininstration vessels (ships) and only one of ours (so far) will be going out to Haiti to assist:

Maritime Administration Prepares Five Ships For Duty

Today U.S. Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood announced that the Department’s Maritime Administration (MARAD) is sending five ships to assist with relief efforts in Haiti. Gopher State, Petersburg, Huakai, Cornhusker State and Cape May are being prepared to sail to the Caribbean Ocean from different parts of the United States. All are owned or controlled by MARAD, and will be crewed by civilian U.S. merchant mariners.

“Sending these ships will help those on the front line of this effort save as many lives in Haiti as possible,” said Secretary of Transportation Ray LaHood. “These ships will add crucial capabilities by supporting operations to move large volumes of people and cargo.”

“Once again the U.S. Merchant Marine is answering the call for assistance, as it has done since our Nation began,” said Acting Maritime Administrator David T. Matsuda. “These ships and skilled crews are ideally suited to assist in Haiti by providing unique capabilities. One cargo ship can carry as much as 400 fully loaded cargo planes.”

M/V Huakai is a new high-speed ferry capable of speeds of nearly 40 knots in the open ocean. Petersburg, Cornhusker State, Cape May and Gopher State are part of MARAD’s Ready Reserve Force (RRF), which includes a total of forty-nine ships at ports around the country. Additional details on the RRF, and Petersburg, Cape May, Cornhusker State and Gopher State can be found at: http://www.marad.dot.gov/documents/RRF_FLEET_PAMPHLET.pdf

The Maritime Administration is unique in its worldwide capabilities, maintaining fleets and expertise in support of the US military and emergency operations. Its mission is to promote the development of the American maritime industry, including its workforce. The agency also operates the United States Merchant Marine Academy at Kings Point, New York.

FACT SHEET ON MARAD SHIPS

M/V Huakai is a new high-speed passenger and vehicle ferry capable of speeds of nearly 40 knots in the open ocean. It was obtained by the Maritime Administration when a Hawaiian ferry company failed and abandoned it. Since late last week it has been undergoing preparations in Norfolk, VA.

MV Gopher State is a TACS crane ship based in Norfolk, VA. The crane ships were designed to provide the capability to load and unload containers and other cargo in ports where facilities are badly damaged or nonexistent. Their most notable features are the three independent twin-boom pedestal-mounted rotating hydraulic deck cranes. These crane ships can also carry containers, small barges, or landing craft, and recent exercises have proven their capability to discharge container ships far from any port, which enhances their military usefulness. RRF crane ships bear the nicknames of states in the United States: the Gopher State honors Minnesota.

MV Cornhusker State is also a TACS crane ship based in Norfolk, VA. The Cornhusker State honors Nebraska. It previously served in Haiti during Operation UPHOLD DEMOCRACY in 1994.

OPDS Petersburg is an Offshore Petroleum Discharge System tanker based in Alameda, CA. It has been specially modified to deliver petroleum products to military forces in areas where port facilities are damaged or non-existent. Within 48 hours of arrival on station, OPDS can be installed and commence pumping 1.2 million gallons per day from up to four miles off shore and at water depths down to 200 feet. If the ship is moored within two nautical miles of the shore, two different products may be pumped simultaneously through two separate conduits.

The SS Cape May is a Norfolk, VA-based sea barge clipper class (SEABEE) vessel, so that its characteristic cargo is barges, as well as sections of causeway, and other materials used by the Construction Battalions (Seabees) of the U.S. Navy. SEABEEs are militarily useful vessels capable of lifting outsized objects, such as 90-foot causeway sections or 110-foot Coast Guard patrol boats. Their most notable feature is the 2,000-ton submersible elevator at the stern. SEABEE ships are unique because of their ability to carry a vast array of military cargo. SEABEE barges, causeway sections, and lighterage comprise the usual cargo; SEABEE barges can carry bulk and containerized cargo. Each barge has a capacity of 834 long tons.

During the Haitian crisis in 1994, a total of 15 MARAD ships were activated for operation UPHOLD DEMOCRACY. In 2005, nine Maritime Administration ships supported support relief efforts in the aftermath of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita. The ships provided meals and shelter for workers, emergency response teams and longshoremen, providing about 83,000 berths and 270,000 meals over 6 months.

[charandivan 0]

HeYYYYY Yardies!

I missed you guys. Ivan and I got back from wedding/honeymoon on Wednesday night and it has taken me a few days to get back on track. Thank you for all of your wonderful comments on my pics. And thanks to JaQ for coming to the wedding. All is well on my end, just trying to get AOS paperwork in order. I hope to mail everything off next week, including that gigantic money order

So what's new??? Dada aka "tha scribe" I need an update!!!

[MRStee 19]

Girl its flying just came back from the Shop Rite on my break got Hubby some treats ( that I will make him eat in a different room )

We love you too JG (((hugs)))

HUSH you are a mess

LOL girl some of them get hot in these movies, wait you aint seen nothing yet (( peep the title))) , I will post the next one!

ooooooooooooh I cant wait to get home hahahaha

[MsSheka 0]

Morning/Afternoon Yardies!

Congrats to Bunz & Sheka on the good news today!

thanks Ells

[Ellsinlove 2]

Ells you said what I wanted to hear. That you were going to try and be more persuasive instead of being forceful. I told you I agree with what you want 100% its just your approach is all I was concerned about. It sounds like at the end of the day you and Lehi see eye to eye so that is all that matters.

But umm the chick is letting him stay and eat for free in exchange for sexual favors? Wow is it really that hard to find someone to you? Man what does she look like?

LOL! Well, she's not so easy...she's (rather was, she has since kicked him out) making him pay about $400 a month rent too. He put up with it because now he needs to go to a shelter. One day, Lehi was sick of her giving him a hard time & told her to leave him alone & that she had a belly that flapped way over (but in Jamaican...LOL) & she hated him even more after that! I've never seen her but apparently she's not that desirable! LOL!

[MRStee 19]

its painted, crib, dresser, changing table set up....still need to put together other crib....going shopping for some sort of storage system to put in the closet (those ones at home depot that you can customize to your closet with shelves and drawers and baskets)....also want to put up some decorative shelves on the wall but think we will wait to see what we get from the showers. the room is on the small side especially with 2 cribs in it so we have to maximize every possible bit of space in there.....

Thats good.. I like how you said showers (plural)

[phillyfashionista 8]

5lwkbWBW1Ko

[Ellsinlove 2]

Welcome back Char! Glad you had a nice honeymoon!

Mrstee, YAY Maritimers!

Philly, I CAN'T watch the movies! I know I'll get caught up but then I have to watch my back so the boss doesn't sneak up on me & catch me so, none for me.

[MRStee 19]

HeYYYYY Yardies!

I missed you guys. Ivan and I got back from wedding/honeymoon on Wednesday night and it has taken me a few days to get back on track. Thank you for all of your wonderful comments on my pics. And thanks to JaQ for coming to the wedding. All is well on my end, just trying to get AOS paperwork in order. I hope to mail everything off next week, including that gigantic money order

So what's new??? Dada aka "tha scribe" I need an update!!!

I Char, your email just sounds so full of life.. Feels good to be married now doesn't it? I know what u mean about AOS.. we just about ready... sigh