MENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread

[Berber Mama 5]

Dropping in the mom shop - Amanda here - mom to 2 boys Mikhail Alexander (5) and Khalil Ibrahim (3) We're all Muslim so no issues there but bi-cultural ideas of child-rearing we had issues there. Luckily my husband was pretty young and not quite set in his ways yet (I think...) so he's evolved as a parent lol. My kids semi-speak semi-understand Darija but my husband has a hard time only talking to them in Arabic and slides into English when he thinks they aren't listening. So that's me checking in lol

You'll have to give me the dish on what it's like having two boys. I have always heard that boys for some reason are harder.

I think that how they are as fathers depends on how their fathers were with them. My husbands dad wasn't around alot until he was at least 10 years old. He worked in another city and came home to visit long enough to get my MIL pregnant again.

Hocine is doing much better now but we still have very different parenting styles. He lets Mehdi do whatever he wants to keep him from crying which in turn has spoiled him.

[Berber Mama 5]

Love this thread! Hope it sticks around. My name is Amy also, I have one six-year-old little girl named Abigail, and I'm four months pregnant with my first baby with my husband. I think it will be interesting seeing how he adapts to life with a newborn. He doesn't have much experience with such *new* babies, but a lot of experience with older babies and older kids, so I think he will learn and adjust well. He is also concerned about making sure our child knows how to speak and write Arabic, and we are still wrestling about how to go about that when the time comes. He's afraid the kid will be confused, but I have read lots of studies to the contrary... We are both Muslim, so we haven't had any issues on that front, although if we end up with a boy, there may be some trouble, because I am sooo opposed to circumcision, and yet I know it's required of Muslims. Still makes me sad, though. Praying for a girl

You know, I cried when they took Mehdi to do his circumcision. I was so full of grief but he only cried a little bit afterwards and he was over it. I cared a lot for my nephew when he was younger and he was uncircumcized. It was a nightmare getting him to keep it clean and he had frequent infections that made him swell down there and the poor little guy was miserable. So, in the long run it is much better to have it done. I am expecting another boy and he will have to get it done too. I do dread it though, I'm a softie as well!

[Berber Mama 5]

it's not uncommon, and perfectly normal for bi-lingual babies to speak a little later than "average". my daughter ayah isn't as forthcoming with words at her age (she's 19 months) as my son was when he was her age (he's 9 now), but i know she's understanding a lot more, both in english and arabic. we've also done baby sign language since she was about 6 months old, and i love it. it makes meeting her needs and keeping her happy so much easier.

i'd never heard anything about shaving baby's hair to make it grow in thicker. i know it's a sunnah with newborns, but not required. i didn't with my daughter, but would have if i'd had a boy. we did feed her a tiny piece of date when she was first born though, and recited the adnan to her.

I think that Hocine recited the shahada to Mehdi. Is that wrong or is it either or?

[~ Karima ~ 0]

I don't know if maybe it's a regional cultural thing or not, but Simo shaved Ayman's head and I just about died! I had been protesting it since before he was born. He took Ayman to just give him a bath, but then I got back a BALD child. He knew I was against it, but did it anyways without telling me. I was livid!!!

We seem to have a LOT of differences about raising children, both cultural and religious. There are just too many myths, old wives tales, religious and cultural customs, whatever you want to call them that I have a hard time dealing with.

[Staashi 371]

I don't know if maybe it's a regional cultural thing or not, but Simo shaved Ayman's head and I just about died! I had been protesting it since before he was born. He took Ayman to just give him a bath, but then I got back a BALD child. He knew I was against it, but did it anyways without telling me. I was livid!!!

We seem to have a LOT of differences about raising children, both cultural and religious. There are just too many myths, old wives tales, religious and cultural customs, whatever you want to call them that I have a hard time dealing with.

Carrie - I'm with you. I protested about having E's head shaved but hubby was set on it. Next thing I know we're at Supercuts.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I think that Hocine recited the shahada to Mehdi. Is that wrong or is it either or?

the shahada is part of the adhan. i think yr fine.

[sandinista! 1,816]

the shahada is part of the adhan. i think yr fine.

*and of course i meant adhan in my original post, not the name adnan. though in my defence it was like 2 am. bloody insomnia...

[MrsAmera 41]

You'll have to give me the dish on what it's like having two boys. I have always heard that boys for some reason are harder.

I think that how they are as fathers depends on how their fathers were with them. My husbands dad wasn't around alot until he was at least 10 years old. He worked in another city and came home to visit long enough to get my MIL pregnant again.

Hocine is doing much better now but we still have very different parenting styles. He lets Mehdi do whatever he wants to keep him from crying which in turn has spoiled him.

Well I think you heard right. They are hard. Very hard most of the time. When they were little it wasn't such an issue because Mikhail was ticked Khalil didn't do anything, then he got big enough to steal his toys and that was an outrage, now they are finally at a stage where they can play together - if they choose to. The fighting is the worst and I'm not sure how to calm that down but they both react quickly - they play fight, they fight fight. They are also very busy. They never slow down!! I have been reassured that they get easier as they get older. I see that my oldest is mellowing out - he's almost 6 now and he seems to have turned a corner. He will sit down and do "quiet" activities.

We (my husband and I) have different parenting ideas which stem from how we were raised I think. My husband also did not have a father around all the time, he worked and he had another family (2 wives in different houses). He also died unexpectedly when my husband was about 16. He is quite authoritarian, he doesn't mess around, doesn't allow disrespect and really (I think) doesn't understand that kids are kids not little adults. I was quite indulged as a child, and had a very involved mother who stayed home and totally did whatever we wanted to do. not that we ran amuck but she always played with us and got involved in our lives. My husband said his parents never ever played with him (shoot his mom had 9 kids how could she?) I give him credit because he is getting better. He has a great relationship with the boys which I think is important because shoot what do I know about boys? LOL.

The biggest hurdle/change for us was that my husband had to grow up. In Maroc he was the baby of the family and was catered to his whole life. He was 21 when he came here and had never lived on his own and had no idea how to care for himself. I blame his mother for that, but it's beside the point. He walked in and had not only to care for himself in part but also care for a small child (soon 2 small children). It was rough, for me especially and he has come a long way. There are still areas where I wish he would pick up some slack but I guess in time those things will be figured out.

[Jenn! 918]

I'm looking forward to posting in this thread, but am not finding much time yet. This is my first week back to work and I'm trying to get into a groove, but am finding it challenging so far. Wadi is staying with Adam for half the day and my grandmother watches him the other half. I think it's rough on all of us right now (not so much my grandmother, she's having a blast).

[Staashi 371]

Good luck, Jenn - it totally takes some getting used to.

[angie & abed 1]

Hi Ladies...

I'm Angie (hubby is Abed...go figure!), I have 2 girls, Malak (2 years old going on 20) and Samar (6 months tomorrow). Don't have a whole lot of time to write right now, but thought I'd say hi. Oh, and I would MUCH rather have 2 girls than 2 boys...right now anyway...then when they are teenagers, I would want to switch to boys...anyone want to set up a trade for the future?

[caybee 21]

*and of course i meant adhan in my original post, not the name adnan. though in my defence it was like 2 am. bloody insomnia...

And I just copied your typo. I have no excuse.

[sandinista! 1,816]

And I just copied your typo. I have no excuse.

no worries hehe. i love rayan's snoozing picture. precious!

[caybee 21]

I'm looking forward to posting in this thread, but am not finding much time yet. This is my first week back to work and I'm trying to get into a groove, but am finding it challenging so far. Wadi is staying with Adam for half the day and my grandmother watches him the other half. I think it's rough on all of us right now (not so much my grandmother, she's having a blast).

I was wondering today how it was going for you. It still feels unnatural to me sometimes.

[KittyPollitt 284]

The biggest hurdle/change for us was that my husband had to grow up. In Maroc he was the baby of the family and was catered to his whole life. He was 21 when he came here and had never lived on his own and had no idea how to care for himself. I blame his mother for that, but it's beside the point. He walked in and had not only to care for himself in part but also care for a small child (soon 2 small children). It was rough, for me especially and he has come a long way. There are still areas where I wish he would pick up some slack but I guess in time those things will be figured out.

Something that is always in the back of my mind.. I guess I won't really see how bad it is until he gets here and I have to show him how to make a can of soup, or furthermore, pour his own tea.. If you have time one day, I'd love for you to tell me how you dealt with it...