MENA pregnancy/baby/parenting thread

[Berber Mama 5]

I have noticed that some of the other regional forums have their own related threads. I know that there is one over on off topic,but there is so much conversation going on back and forth between the people that have been posting longer, that sometimes the new comers seem to be left out.

Also, I thought that there could be a thread to discuss the problems of parenting due to interfaith marriages or just plain different parenting styles of Americans and North Africans/Middle Easterners like my husband and I seem to experience.

Anyhoo...my name is Amy. I am the mother of 15 month old Mehdi and am currently six months pregnant with baby #2.

I would love to hear from other expectant mothers and mommies of MENA babies/kids. I know there are plenty out there!

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Hey Amy!

Well Zaid Zilla is now 21 months old and is quite the beast. Having a marriage with 2 religions has had some differences but nothing we havent been able to find a comprimise with. Zaid is muslim, fine by me, but we celebrate my families holidays too. not for religious purposes but bc he is also half american and should embrace both cultures. Its working great for us and hopefully that continues

[KittyPollitt 284]

Hi Amy, great topic! I'm a brand new mommy, my daughter Fatimah Zahra is 2 months old, and I chose to convert to Islam after she was born.. We're leaving in a month to spend the majority of her first year in Morocco with her father and his family while waiting for his visa. I must admit, I'm a little nervous about what his mother and aunts will think of my American parenting style, and hoping that the mix of languages doesn't confuse her later on.. All in all, it should be an interesting experience, and one I am looking forward to.

[Berber Mama 5]

Hey Amy!

Well Zaid Zilla is now 21 months old and is quite the beast. Having a marriage with 2 religions has had some differences but nothing we havent been able to find a comprimise with. Zaid is muslim, fine by me, but we celebrate my families holidays too. not for religious purposes but bc he is also half american and should embrace both cultures. Its working great for us and hopefully that continues

We haven't butted heads about the religion thing yet either and I don't see that as a problem. I know that he will be raised Muslim and I'm fine with that.

Our biggest issue seems to be the shared parenting. Mehdi was around 9 months old before my husband started changing his diapers and helping out with his care. We got into a lot of arguments about it. He was just taken aback that I would ask him to care for the baby since that is a "womans job".

[Berber Mama 5]

Hi Amy, great topic! I'm a brand new mommy, my daughter Fatimah Zahra is 2 months old, and I chose to convert to Islam after she was born.. We're leaving in a month to spend the majority of her first year in Morocco with her father and his family while waiting for his visa. I must admit, I'm a little nervous about what his mother and aunts will think of my American parenting style, and hoping that the mix of languages doesn't confuse her later on.. All in all, it should be an interesting experience, and one I am looking forward to.

I'm nervous about that too, as I have still to introduce my son to his grandparents. But the language issue, au contraire! It's wonderful that she will be exposed to the mixed languages. I have to stay on my husbands case about speaking darija to Mehdi. I told him that this is the perfect moment for him to take it all in and start learning!

[KittyPollitt 284]

I'm nervous about that too, as I have still to introduce my son to his grandparents. But the language issue, au contraire! It's wonderful that she will be exposed to the mixed languages. I have to stay on my husbands case about speaking darija to Mehdi. I told him that this is the perfect moment for him to take it all in and start learning!

Congrats on your pregnancy, btw!

[tnh9479 1]

Hi! I am Twila and mom to boy/girl twins who will be ONE this week! Yikes! Where has the time gone?

Anyway, my babies are Muslim as well. I have no issue with that. We celebrate my family's holidays as well. The twins need to respect both families' heritages. There is a lot, after getting by the initial differences, that we have in common (what drew us together in the first place).

I guess I am lucky to have a wonderful husband. He was there for me and the babies from day one. I was a wreck after they were born and it took me a while to bond with them, whereas he bonded instantly with them. He is soooooooooooo much more overprotective than I ever thought of being and he doesn't think twice to jump in and do something for them. He just draws the line at giving them a bath -- it kind of freaks him out. That's ok. Now...if I could get him to remember to pick up his coffee cup!

[Berber Mama 5]

Hi! I am Twila and mom to boy/girl twins who will be ONE this week! Yikes! Where has the time gone?

Anyway, my babies are Muslim as well. I have no issue with that. We celebrate my family's holidays as well. The twins need to respect both families' heritages. There is a lot, after getting by the initial differences, that we have in common (what drew us together in the first place).

I guess I am lucky to have a wonderful husband. He was there for me and the babies from day one. I was a wreck after they were born and it took me a while to bond with them, whereas he bonded instantly with them. He is soooooooooooo much more overprotective than I ever thought of being and he doesn't think twice to jump in and do something for them. He just draws the line at giving them a bath -- it kind of freaks him out. That's ok. Now...if I could get him to remember to pick up his coffee cup!

I can't imagine having twins, I almost had a heart attack at the thought of my boys being 18 months apart.

That's great that your husband has been a big help. Guess there goes my thinking out the window that it's just a cultural thing with him not helping, lol.

Where did you get your kids clothes they are wearing in the pics? Did you buy them in Morocco or is there a place that you can special order them here in the US? They're adorable!

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

I guess im lucky with Sofyan. He actually stayed home with Zaid from the time he was 5 weeks to 3 months old bc I had to return to work. He does diapers, baths, everything.

The language thing is great. Zaid is sooo not confused and equally speaking both languages. He can count to 3 in both, says hot and cold in both and doesnt seem to favor either. Its working out well.

Squeaky. I wouldnt be concerned about Morocco I would just say draw the line when you get there. They will probably try to get you to feed her weird things, and drinks. And do things that arent common around here. Do what you feel is right, you are her mother. Ill never forget when we found out Zaid had TERRIBLE colic (at 2 months old) my mother in law INSISTED we give him the water from boiled sage so my husband SWORE we had to do it and he drank an ounce of it and vomited EVERYWHERE! I learned my lesson real quick.

I know theydo alot of things and jordan with the kids that I thought bothered me. Like squeezing the babies in pounds of blankets, putting makeup on their eyes, and shaving their baby hair to make it grow in thick

[MrsAmera 41]

Dropping in the mom shop - Amanda here - mom to 2 boys Mikhail Alexander (5) and Khalil Ibrahim (3) We're all Muslim so no issues there but bi-cultural ideas of child-rearing we had issues there. Luckily my husband was pretty young and not quite set in his ways yet (I think...) so he's evolved as a parent lol. My kids semi-speak semi-understand Darija but my husband has a hard time only talking to them in Arabic and slides into English when he thinks they aren't listening. So that's me checking in lol

[amysaid 9]

Love this thread! Hope it sticks around. My name is Amy also, I have one six-year-old little girl named Abigail, and I'm four months pregnant with my first baby with my husband. I think it will be interesting seeing how he adapts to life with a newborn. He doesn't have much experience with such *new* babies, but a lot of experience with older babies and older kids, so I think he will learn and adjust well. He is also concerned about making sure our child knows how to speak and write Arabic, and we are still wrestling about how to go about that when the time comes. He's afraid the kid will be confused, but I have read lots of studies to the contrary... We are both Muslim, so we haven't had any issues on that front, although if we end up with a boy, there may be some trouble, because I am sooo opposed to circumcision, and yet I know it's required of Muslims. Still makes me sad, though. Praying for a girl

[KittyPollitt 284]

I guess im lucky with Sofyan. He actually stayed home with Zaid from the time he was 5 weeks to 3 months old bc I had to return to work. He does diapers, baths, everything.

The language thing is great. Zaid is sooo not confused and equally speaking both languages. He can count to 3 in both, says hot and cold in both and doesnt seem to favor either. Its working out well.

Squeaky. I wouldnt be concerned about Morocco I would just say draw the line when you get there. They will probably try to get you to feed her weird things, and drinks. And do things that arent common around here. Do what you feel is right, you are her mother. Ill never forget when we found out Zaid had TERRIBLE colic (at 2 months old) my mother in law INSISTED we give him the water from boiled sage so my husband SWORE we had to do it and he drank an ounce of it and vomited EVERYWHERE! I learned my lesson real quick.

I know theydo alot of things and jordan with the kids that I thought bothered me. Like squeezing the babies in pounds of blankets, putting makeup on their eyes, and shaving their baby hair to make it grow in thick

omg. I pity the fool.

[sandinista! 1,816]

it's not uncommon, and perfectly normal for bi-lingual babies to speak a little later than "average". my daughter ayah isn't as forthcoming with words at her age (she's 19 months) as my son was when he was her age (he's 9 now), but i know she's understanding a lot more, both in english and arabic. we've also done baby sign language since she was about 6 months old, and i love it. it makes meeting her needs and keeping her happy so much easier.

i'd never heard anything about shaving baby's hair to make it grow in thicker. i know it's a sunnah with newborns, but not required. i didn't with my daughter, but would have if i'd had a boy. we did feed her a tiny piece of date when she was first born though, and recited the adnan to her.

[caybee 21]

Nice thread. I'm Caroll Anne, my husband is Jamal, and we have a five-month-old boy, Rayan. My husband has been taking care of the baby since I returned to work part-time after eight weeks, and he's wonderful at it. They have a great relationship, and Rayan just lights up when his dad enters the room. He enjoys bathing him and is good with the diapers, though if I'm home, the diapers are exclusively my job

Rayan has a fauxhawk -- his hair fell out on the sides and has started growing back, but he has a long, curly patch on the top that we both love, and he already has his dad's dark eyebrows. His dad sometimes talks about shaving his head once, but I really don't want that.

We hope to take him to Morocco this summer to meet the rest of his family. They get some time with him on the webcam, and I hope it's enough for him to recognize their voices, but that's nothing like being together in person.

We didn't give him any mushed date at birth, but my husband did recite the adnan into his ear as soon as the three of us were alone. I gave him a taste of date juice when he started getting colicky at a few weeks of age, and like so many things, it worked very well...the first couple of times. I started signing "milk" for him at maybe two months of age, and he seems to understand now -- he seems to calm down and make his "milk face" when I sign it for him. But that may be a coincidence or wishful thinking on my part that he's catching on so soon. I'm going to start doing more signing now though.

Edited January 12, 2010 by caybee

[Staashi 371]

it's not uncommon, and perfectly normal for bi-lingual babies to speak a little later than "average". my daughter ayah isn't as forthcoming with words at her age (she's 19 months) as my son was when he was her age (he's 9 now), but i know she's understanding a lot more, both in english and arabic. we've also done baby sign language since she was about 6 months old, and i love it. it makes meeting her needs and keeping her happy so much easier.

i'd never heard anything about shaving baby's hair to make it grow in thicker. i know it's a sunnah with newborns, but not required. i didn't with my daughter, but would have if i'd had a boy. we did feed her a tiny piece of date when she was first born though, and recited the adnan to her.

We speak to Enzo in both English and Spanish. His "Noni" (my MIL) speaks to him solely in Spanish, my mom solely in English. He babbles quite a bit but hasn't said real words yet, but when we ask him questions he understands both English and Spanish. It is very cool to see.

When E was 4 months old we shaved his head as was tradition in Argentina. He was so cute with it all gone. I'm glad we didn't do it when he was first born, but when it did come off he didn't so much as bat an eye or make one sound. It was shocking!