Personal attacks

[missmissy 38]

It doesn't benefit other members who could avoid the same mistakes IF the mistakes are pointed out so they can avoid them. A person's, even my own, mistakes can be used to learn, but only if we are willing to accept them as mistakes. I do not read all the other posts before I respond, I do not need to. If my response is the same as others, it is re-inforcement, if it isn't then maybe it corrects another's mistake...the purpose of public forums.

It is absolutely true the government does not care that she made a baby out of wedlock, they will do nothing to expedite her case because she forgot to use contraceptives, it is not thier problem. I have little (if any) sympathy for people who have problems entirely of their own making and expect someone else to handle it for them. That is the truth, that is life. You make mistakes, you pay for them.

FYI, I never said in any post to any one at any time "How you could you be so stupid" NEVER Why would you feel it necessary to add something untrue to your criticism? Why? She was unprepared and I said so, I DID NOT say she was stupid. Her fiance WAS unprepared. That is her fault.

You are right - I'm sorry. I was just shooting from the lip and sometimes I feel sorry for the people here that do make such BIG mistakes.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

You are right - I'm sorry. I was just shooting from the lip and sometimes I feel sorry for the people here that do make such BIG mistakes.

Thank you Missmissy. Good luck to you and yours.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

It doesn't benefit other members who could avoid the same mistakes IF the mistakes are pointed out so they can avoid them. A person's, even my own, mistakes can be used to learn, but only if we are willing to accept them as mistakes. I do not read all the other posts before I respond, I do not need to. If my response is the same as others, it is re-inforcement, if it isn't then maybe it corrects another's mistake...the purpose of public forums.

It is absolutely true the government does not care that she made a baby out of wedlock, they will do nothing to expedite her case because she forgot to use contraceptives, it is not thier problem. I have little (if any) sympathy for people who have problems entirely of their own making and expect someone else to handle it for them. That is the truth, that is life. You make mistakes, you pay for them.

FYI, I never said in any post to any one at any time "How you could you be so stupid" NEVER Why would you feel it necessary to add something untrue to your criticism? Why? She was unprepared and I said so, I DID NOT say she was stupid. Her fiance WAS unprepared. That is her fault.

You're absolutely correct, Gary. I also am very pointed in giving my advice. If you have a baby out of wedlock with a person in a conservative country that doesn't take well to that kind of behavior, I respond in a way that deals with that and am unwilling to blow the kind of sunshine and rainbows some will. That's hardly helpful unless all you're here to do is be an enabler.

I also don't suffer fools well. The other day I reamed on a woman on the MENA board who constantly makes negative comments about Arab men on a board where women with Arab men are the norm. Why so few are willing to tell this idjit to shut up is beyond me because she clearly needs to concentrate on her own issues with men rather than trying to plant seeds of doubt between SO's. But, hey, someone has to do it.

I think a lot of people here are waaaay too soft and consider even truth telling to be a personal attack. If we don't get personal, we aren't of much use, imo.

[Malrothien 6]

Oh ya. the hostility just gets worse and worse on VJ. Guess thats why many just stick to their country forums. Guess the more popular VJ gets,the more hostility it attracts! Quite sad to see how some people behave and they think its normal behavior

There is hostility in the regionals, too. The cliques are worse there, if you ask me. *shrug*

[scandal 951]

There is hostility in the regionals, too. The cliques are worse there, if you ask me. *shrug*

I agree. I made a few attempts to post in the Canada forum way back when. Having spent more than half of my life in Canada, 20+ years, I figured I was as entitled as anyone to doing so. It became quite clear quite quickly that there were those "belonged" and who weren't interested in gate-crashers who happened to have a Thailand flag on their profile. Whatever. OT is actually the only part of VJ I bother with at this point. I don't mind the sharp elbows, and if the moderation stays out of the way it can be quite fun.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Yup, the Canadian forum can be quite hostile. What is hilarious is that they think they're somehow better than OT when they're really just a cheap knockoff.

[merijan 0]

IF someone is coming on the VJ boards to find advice regarding their visa situations they usually get that and then some. But they seem to take only the negative and leave the fact that many here give support and advice. The other thing is if someone wants to post personal problems then u are opening up to stangers who may or may not be supportive. Constructive and honest opinions are sometimes taken wrong, and some go beyond that to include thier own rants and raves. That can become a problem. BEcause then insults begin and it goes on and on.

I think some people come on here to speak their prejudice, and ignorance and some come on with honest answers. I also think that we can get carried away . Such as the person Sofyia was referring to, I had an Arab as my first husband I could go on and on about Arab men , Palestinian men but that's not right either because they are not all the same and every woman is different as to what she is willing to accept in her marriage.

My biggest problem with these boards are two things. One is that on off Topic there are alot of Muslim haters and Arab/Pakistani haters and they are allowed far too often to post what they want.

The second is in Mena everytime the thread get heated with debate its closed closed closed but in off topic people are allowed to slander Islam, and the middle east more than should be.

My opinion.

Edited January 10, 2010 by merijan

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

... in off topic people are allowed to slander Islam ...

It is as it should be. There is nothing special about Islam.

[MrsCat 6]

Yup, the Canadian forum can be quite hostile. What is hilarious is that they think they're somehow better than OT when they're really just a cheap knockoff.

I spread my hostility around equally between the CDN forum and OT. Concentrating it in one area is just not as effective.

[scandal 951]

It is as it should be. There is nothing special about Islam.

Personally, I'm sick and tired of people always slandering my and Spooky's sheep on OT.

It's not right, and it's about time it stops.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

I spread my hostility around equally between the CDN forum and OT. Concentrating it in one area is just not as effective.

I haven't seen much hostility from you at all. I think you need to step yo game up, this ain't Alaska.

[MrsCat 6]

I haven't seen much hostility from you at all. I think you need to step yo game up, this ain't Alaska.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Is that supposed to be intimidating? Do I look like polar bear to you?

[Sofiyya 1,687]

There is hostility in the regionals, too. The cliques are worse there, if you ask me. *shrug*

I agree. That's why racism and ignorance are tolerated. If the idiot is nice to you and helps you and talks to you on the phone when you're down, they can say any stupid thing To other people and their buds won't correct them for fear of losing their virtual "friend". In fact, they'll defend their stupidity. Honesty is a casualty.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

It is as it should be. There is nothing special about Islam.

It must be special since it and Muslims can be slandered relentlessly in a way other groups can't be without mod interference.