Big Problem

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thanks guys,

Boy this was a reality check. If I didnt find this website, I would have ended up getting married in Japan and do the K3 and probably get into a huge mess. I do live on my own so I guess the only thing I can do is tell my parents I will go with or without their support. I just hate that they try to fill my head with kidnapping and prison horror stories. They even go as far as to suggest the Viet people will try to kill me because I am dark skinned and that implies that I am black. Go figure.......Anyways, I will have 2 trips to Japan which we can use as proof that she is well traveled and that she never overstayed her travel visa. Then I could take a 2-3 trips to Vietnam along with the engagement ceremony and then file for the K1. Quick question. If I do make a few trips to Vietnam and then file for the K1, will the trips to Japan hurt us or help us?

Carl

Every trip should help, but 100 trips to various foreign countries with no trips to Vietnam would still not satisfy the consulate. They want to see a relationship that conforms to traditional Vietnamese customs. This means you need to spend time with her family, and you need to have the traditional engagement ceremony.

Seriously, there is no way you can put too much time, effort, or money into this process. But, not putting out enough of any of these could make the process more difficult, and could even result in a visa denial. Just take your time, do your homework, have fun when you visit Vietnam, take lots of pictures, and save all of your receipts.

Oh, something I forgot to mention in my PM response...

There are ATM's in Vietnam, scattered around the larger cities. If you plan to use them, it might help if you notified your bank that you're going to be traveling. That way, their security checks won't trigger alarms when they see your card being used in Vietnam. Same thing if you plan to use credit cards, but these are useful mostly at the "better" hotels, restaurants, and merchants. Most places in VN don't take plastic.

If you bring cash, be sure to bring only clean, crisp bills, with no tears or heavy creases. Many money exchanges will refuse to accept a bill with even a slight tear in it, or a bit of wear. On my last trip, I forgot to tell the bank teller to give me new bills, and I ended up with four $100 bills that nobody would accept. I brought them back to the US with me.

[Anh map 2,098]

The trips to Japan will show how your relationship started. That shouldn't be a problem at all. IMHO, a spontaneous meeting is a third country (meaning not yours or hers) is a lot better than a meeting arranged by her family or friends or the internet.

I second that opinion

[Darnell 8,478]

I have another thought

Since you have already met - go ahead and file the K-1 NOW.

Then - when you receive the NOA-2 - go to VN and do the formal engagement ceremony thingie.

Then have her bring 'that proof' with her, on Interview Day.

Might shave off some months for you?

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

I have another thought

Since you have already met - go ahead and file the K-1 NOW.

Then - when you receive the NOA-2 - go to VN and do the formal engagement ceremony thingie.

Then have her bring 'that proof' with her, on Interview Day.

Might shave off some months for you?

Yep, that would shorten the time until interview. The only downside I can see is that he won't be able to frontload any evidence of the Dam Hoi, which pretty much guarantees it's going to come up at the interview. Of course, this doesn't mean the visa would be denied, but I figure every question you can avoid forcing the CO to ask only increases the chances she'll see a pink slip ready to be signed when she walks up to the interview window.

[ScottThuy 140]

I agree with Jim 100%.. I think it is best to take a few steps ahead of time to make sure everything is ready for the CO at the initial filing.. rushing to file can be a waste of money and may cause a denial in the long run that would take a very long time...

A minimum of two trips to VN to meet the entire family and celebrate the relationship IMO is a must... VN culture is VERY family oriented.. nobody does anything without the family envolved and even the deceased family members play a role in the relationship... The CO's know this as a cultural norm..

if your heart is in the relationship, you must take the steps to do the right thing and embrace her culture and her family... this is your future you are talking about, not your parents future... VN people are great people with warm hearts... there are some that would want to take advantage of you but less than in the US IMO, but once you are there and have met her family, you will see and feel what others here have already described...

[cedwards001 18]

Scott and Jim, thank you so much for your advice. I will just have to do what I feel is best, even if my parents agree or not. They will really be at odds with me when I do decide to go, but this is a choice I will make. I will call Thuy tomorrow and discuss this with her. I think she would love it for me to visit her family in Vietnam. In fact, I think her family will be thrilled

Thanks guys for your help. I promise to keep everybody posted on our progress. God bless you all!

Carl

[Teacher Mark 53]

Tell your family you have a bodyguard here. My fee is $200USD a day. I'm available from Feburary 7th through the 23rd, or so.

[vietazn 1]

Don't need to take all those trips. Next trip can be a little longer with Le Dinh Hon. You already will have met 3 times, so need to have saved all boarding passes from both people to prove it. Also, no one can prove that more trips are better. Someone could argue that taking too many trips without any progress in relationship is a bad thing, perhaps cold feet or lack of seriousness. You both are young, presumably neither have been married before, so there shouldn't be much negative information known about either of you. One thing you should check with your woman is how many total times she has visited outside the country. The one potential problem is that it is not very normal for a woman that young to have visited outside the country that many times. Line up 1000 random woman of that age in HCM and you might not find any who have visited outside the country, let alone an expensive place like Japan. Might have to answer how she has been able to visit Japan so often, and who is paying for the trips...

[ScottThuy 140]

Tell your family you have a bodyguard here. My fee is $200USD a day. I'm available from Feburary 7th through the 23rd, or so.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Don't need to take all those trips. Next trip can be a little longer with Le Dinh Hon. You already will have met 3 times, so need to have saved all boarding passes from both people to prove it. Also, no one can prove that more trips are better. Someone could argue that taking too many trips without any progress in relationship is a bad thing, perhaps cold feet or lack of seriousness. You both are young, presumably neither have been married before, so there shouldn't be much negative information known about either of you. One thing you should check with your woman is how many total times she has visited outside the country. The one potential problem is that it is not very normal for a woman that young to have visited outside the country that many times. Line up 1000 random woman of that age in HCM and you might not find any who have visited outside the country, let alone an expensive place like Japan. Might have to answer how she has been able to visit Japan so often, and who is paying for the trips...

This is true. However, when they hand out a blue slip for a timeline, how many trips and the length of each trip are questions they specifically want answers to. Also, many denial slips have stated that pictures show petitioner only made one or two trips, and/or only spent a few days in the country. From these things, we can only presume that this carries some weight with the consulate. Exactly how to measure this weight is something only the consulate knows.

[WeatherEmperor 21]

Hey guys remember me? hahaha.

Carl, I know how it is. My family is a bit nervous about me traveling to Vietnam also. When are you planning on going? If you want, we can go together to make you feel a bit more at ease

Anyways, in terms of safety, you can get in trouble in ANY foreign country not just Vietnam. Just relax, it will be okay

If anything, it is ME who would have more to worry about going to Vietnam then you. You see, I met my SO in Singapore at a marriage agency that matches Vietnamese women to foreign men. I dont think the Vietnam government would like me very much when I am going to travel to Vietnam, but oh well I dont care. Afterall, I can always hire Mr. Saigon to protect me. Mr. Saigon I will be in HCMC in the first week in February. Can I hire you? Im being serious by the way.

<CARRICK>

[Anh map 2,098]

Hey guys remember me? hahaha.

Carl, I know how it is. My family is a bit nervous about me traveling to Vietnam also. When are you planning on going? If you want, we can go together to make you feel a bit more at ease

Anyways, in terms of safety, you can get in trouble in ANY foreign country not just Vietnam. Just relax, it will be okay

If anything, it is ME who would have more to worry about going to Vietnam then you. You see, I met my SO in Singapore at a marriage agency that matches Vietnamese women to foreign men. I dont think the Vietnam government would like me very much when I am going to travel to Vietnam, but oh well I dont care. Afterall, I can always hire Mr. Saigon to protect me. Mr. Saigon I will be in HCMC in the first week in February. Can I hire you? Im being serious by the way.

<CARRICK>

The Viet gov't won't care why you are there. You'll be spending money. Just be careful crossing the street.

Have fun.

[WeatherEmperor 21]

Hey Roger,

Yeah I know. I am just so anxious to go celebrate Tet with Thu. This is going to be soooo exciting. I can't wait! Is anybody else going to HCMC for Tet?

<CARRICK>

The Viet gov't won't care why you are there. You'll be spending money. Just be careful crossing the street.

Have fun.

[Dau Que 6]

Don't need to take all those trips. Next trip can be a little longer with Le Dinh Hon. You already will have met 3 times, so need to have saved all boarding passes from both people to prove it. Also, no one can prove that more trips are better. Someone could argue that taking too many trips without any progress in relationship is a bad thing, perhaps cold feet or lack of seriousness. You both are young, presumably neither have been married before, so there shouldn't be much negative information known about either of you. One thing you should check with your woman is how many total times she has visited outside the country. The one potential problem is that it is not very normal for a woman that young to have visited outside the country that many times. Line up 1000 random woman of that age in HCM and you might not find any who have visited outside the country, let alone an expensive place like Japan. Might have to answer how she has been able to visit Japan so often, and who is paying for the trips...

You have to understand in a typical Vietnamese-culture relationship, an Engagement ceremony (with the presence of HER parents) won't happen til you meet her parents. This is not in the US, where you can propose to her in private, then the 2 of you can go to Vegas for a private wedding.

The 2 trips prior to the Engagement ceremony is for meeting her parents and hopefully obtaining their approval. Nobody will believe your relationship is genuine if your first trip to see her family results in an Engagement ceremony a few days later. (and the CO will play the role of her parents here. They know this norm of the Vnese culture)

Nhap gia, tuy tuc (Following the house's rule if you step inside their place)

OP, there's a saying "It's better safe than being sorry". Make your decision and trips wisely. Don't over-calculate, try to save a few bucks now but have to shove out more $$$ later to lawyers due to white/blue slips.

My 3.14159©

Edited January 10, 2010 by Dau Que

[ScottThuy 140]

Hey Roger,

Yeah I know. I am just so anxious to go celebrate Tet with Thu. This is going to be soooo exciting. I can't wait! Is anybody else going to HCMC for Tet?

<CARRICK>

Here is a list of members in VN