Big Problem

[cedwards001 18]

Hello everybody,

I am so happy I found this website. My name is Carl and I am 22 years old and live in the USA. My girlfriend, Thuy, is also 22 years old and lives in Vietnam. We met each other on vacation in Japan in June 2009 and once again in November 2009. Both times for 10 days. We will visit each other in Japan for 3rd time in February 2010. She lives in Vietnam but we have to meet each other each time in Japan because my family ABSOLUTELY forbids me from going to Vietnam. They have these nasty images in their heads about the Vietnam War and they think everybody there hates Americans, and if I go, they will capture me and put me in a Vietnamese prison. I really love my family but this hurts me so much

I love Thuy and cannot imagine being without her. I just want to know if there is any hope for me and Thuy in terms of K1, K3 or CR1 visa to bring her to the US to live with me. We have a lot of emails, chat logs and proof of visiting each other in Japan. I am worry that if we apply for a visa with the US Consulate in HCMC, they will deny us because I never visited Vietnam. What can I do? Can we marry in Japan and do apply for K3 with the embassy in japan?

Carl

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hello everybody,

I am so happy I found this website. My name is Carl and I am 22 years old and live in the USA. My girlfriend, Thuy, is also 22 years old and lives in Vietnam. We met each other on vacation in Japan in June 2009 and once again in November 2009. Both times for 10 days. We will visit each other in Japan for 3rd time in February 2010. She lives in Vietnam but we have to meet each other each time in Japan because my family ABSOLUTELY forbids me from going to Vietnam. They have these nasty images in their heads about the Vietnam War and they think everybody there hates Americans, and if I go, they will capture me and put me in a Vietnamese prison. I really love my family but this hurts me so much

I love Thuy and cannot imagine being without her. I just want to know if there is any hope for me and Thuy in terms of K1, K3 or CR1 visa to bring her to the US to live with me. We have a lot of emails, chat logs and proof of visiting each other in Japan. I am worry that if we apply for a visa with the US Consulate in HCMC, they will deny us because I never visited Vietnam. What can I do? Can we marry in Japan and do apply for K3 with the embassy in japan?

Carl

Dude. Man up. You are 22 years old. If you want to marry this girl, you can man up and go visit her in Vietnam. It will be very hard for you to show that you have a bonafide relationship if neither of you has ever visit each other's home.

Seriously, just go to Vietnam.

In no culture is it cool to say, "Honey, I love you and I want to marry you. But my mommy won't let me go to visit you in Vietnam." Cut the umbilical cord.

[john & jean 37]

very difficult consulate, with no visit you should expect a denial!!!!!!!!!

[cedwards001 18]

Thanks for the replies. Since we already met each other a few times in Japan, can we just get married in Japan and apply for K3 visa there? I think I read in another forum on this website that the interview for K3 takes place in the country where the marriage took place. This would be easiest for us since I have no visits to Vietnam. Would this make sense?

Carl

[Anh map 2,098]

If you pursue the fiancee visa (K1) you really ought to go and have the traditional engagement ceremony (Dam Hoi/Dinh Hon). The Consular Officers in HCMC like to see that as part of the development of the relationship.

As an American a bit younger than the age that would have put me in the war, I can assure your parents that you are in no danger. There are lots of white faces roaming the streets.

I echo Aaron's advice. Plan your next visit to Vietnam.

Spend some time reading VJ to evaluate your options. Read in this forum to gain insight into the HCMC "experience."

Welcome to VJ

[SuperDuper! 230]

Don't be a girlyman. Just go to Vietnam and see your girl, and have big party. Show your parents you are your own person now.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Thanks for the replies. Since we already met each other a few times in Japan, can we just get married in Japan and apply for K3 visa there? I think I read in another forum on this website that the interview for K3 takes place in the country where the marriage took place. This would be easiest for us since I have no visits to Vietnam. Would this make sense?

Carl

The interview generally takes place in the country where the beneficiary resides. If she has legal resident status in Japan, then she can interview there. If she's just visiting Japan and resides in Vietnam, then she's got to interview in HCM City. "Consulate shopping" is not allowed.

You have nothing to worry about in Vietnam. Don't break any laws, and you won't end up in any Vietnamese prisons. There isn't a strong police presence there - I see more cops everyday in my suburban California town than I did in Saigon. Violent crime is much lower than in the US. Your biggest worry is getting your wallet or camera snatched, but the odds of that happening are probably greater in any big US city. Just use your common sense, like you would when visiting any new country.

I didn't find any open hostility toward Americans, and I found most people genuinely like Americans. Everywhere I went, people went out of their way to make me feel welcome. I never felt like I was in any sort of danger. Well, maybe a little danger when we were dangling from a cable on the sky tram going to Ba Na Hills, but Phuong and her daughters chanting Buddhist prayers for the entire 12km ride didn't help.

One of the coolest things about visiting Vietnam is that you can have a lot of fun for very little money. A great room in a four star hotel will cost under $100. A good room in a three star hotel will cost less than $50. The same rooms in Japan would cost at least five times that much. In fact, Japan is one of the most expensive countries in the world to visit. Can you sit in a beach cabana and stay drunk all day for less than $10 in Japan?

If your parents are worried about you going to a country where people hate Americans, tell them not to send you to Europe.

[aaron2020 11,651]

I apologize for my tone in the earlier post.

No matter where you get married and what visa you go for, you will have a significant problem showing a bonafide relationship to any US Embassy. Marriage fraud for a visa or green card is a huge problem in Vietnam.

While getting married in Japan and filing for a K-3 visa may be a novel way to get it processed in Japan rather than Vietnam, you are creating huge red flags.

First, it would be very unusual for a Vietnamese girl to marry a man without him first meeting her parents and family and seeking their approval.

Second, if you are willing to travel half way around the world to get married, why not make it the last few hundred miles to Vietnam?

My guess is that your chance of getting this through is zero because it looks suspicious and you have designed it to circumvent processing through the US Embassy in her native country.

Novelty is neither appreciated or rewarded in the immigration visa game. You need to go through certain hoops. Look through this site and you will find that a Dinh Hon (engagement party) is the minimum requirement for a Vietnamese woman to get a visa to the US.

Edited January 9, 2010 by aaron2020

[aaron2020 11,651]

The bottom line is that without a visit to Vietnam, your chances of petitioning for her is zero. You have to visit her in Vietnam if you want to successfully petition for a visa on her behalf.

[Darnell 8,479]

Thanks for the replies. Since we already met each other a few times in Japan, can we just get married in Japan and apply for K3 visa there? I think I read in another forum on this website that the interview for K3 takes place in the country where the marriage took place. This would be easiest for us since I have no visits to Vietnam. Would this make sense?

Carl

Maybe something is specific to Vietnam , the US Embassy in HCMC, but in general,

for a K-1 - it doesn't matter WHERE you meet, as long as you have ample (sometimes heavy ) documentation that you HAVE MET.

As I understand it, though, is really big deal to get engaged in Vietnam, some formal ceremony, and the VOs at HCMC know to look for that.

Sure, there are exceptions, deviations, but listen to the VN filers here, research all in the SE Asia forum, check the embassy reviews for HCMC here on VJ.

Good Luck !

[vietazn 1]

Forget a second about the whole K1 process and all. When you marry someone, you marry their family.

What do you expect will happen after you are married for a few years? Will you never visit Vietnam and her family? Will she go alone? Will she be OK with that? Will you not want her to go to Vietnam?

Also think about whether your family wants you to marry a Vietnamese woman. Or anyone overseas. Maybe the danger thing is just an excuse so that the whole thing doesn't happen.

If you do break their laws, then the cong an will catch you. Don't break their laws, don't dis the government there, and don't drive a motorbike even if you know how and you should be ok.

Edited January 9, 2010 by vietazn

[Bernie C 24]

1) The biggest danger in Vietnam is probably riding a motor bike

2) Unless your parents pay all your travel expenses - man up and stand your ground - this is your love, your life, your future

3) People here in Vietnam are very wonderful and friendly (that is my experience and I am currently going on my 6th week here this trip and 4 trips in 2009). (There are bad people everywhere in the world but if you watch out for yourself you'll have no trouble here - just mind your p's and q's)

4) Ho Chi Minh US Consulate is tough but if you take your time and gather the proper evidence and visit each other you should be fine. Just dot you i's and cross your t's and build a strong foundation.

Do a lot of reading here and dont be afrain to ask questions. Just remember - in the end the decision is yours. Each persons case is unique and 2 identical looking cases and have varying results - tjats just the way it is.

[Dau Que 6]

Hello everybody,

I am so happy I found this website. My name is Carl and I am 22 years old and live in the USA. My girlfriend, Thuy, is also 22 years old and lives in Vietnam. We met each other on vacation in Japan in June 2009 and once again in November 2009. Both times for 10 days. We will visit each other in Japan for 3rd time in February 2010. She lives in Vietnam but we have to meet each other each time in Japan because my family ABSOLUTELY forbids me from going to Vietnam. They have these nasty images in their heads about the Vietnam War and they think everybody there hates Americans, and if I go, they will capture me and put me in a Vietnamese prison. I really love my family but this hurts me so much

I love Thuy and cannot imagine being without her. I just want to know if there is any hope for me and Thuy in terms of K1, K3 or CR1 visa to bring her to the US to live with me. We have a lot of emails, chat logs and proof of visiting each other in Japan. I am worry that if we apply for a visa with the US Consulate in HCMC, they will deny us because I never visited Vietnam. What can I do? Can we marry in Japan and do apply for K3 with the embassy in japan?

Carl

Do you live by yourself or with your folks?

If the answer is Yes..........Go to Barnes and Noble, Travel section, then Vietnam. Time to explore the world on your own. This time, it's exactly like going to college the first day. You'll graduate in no time (the day she has that Pink slip in her hands).

If the answer is NO...........do you want to graduate from college or not? Well, if you do, then what are you waiting for? Go ahead! You must be the the one who steps outside your house and heads towards the outside world!

1) Make at least 3 or more trips to see her AND HER FAMILY (in Vietnam). Timing these trips is extremely important. You must make at least 2 trips prior to the Engagement Ceremony (which is a MUST). Make sure in every calendar year there is a trip (with proof, so save copies of EVERY of your travel documentation).

2) Pictures are your friend.

3) Investigate about her family. Does she have any relative already living in the States that currently sponsoring her to come here? Why is this important? Because to the Co's eyes, whether it's true or not, it looks like she's trying to cut down on waiting time by marrying with a USC.

[cedwards001 18]

Thanks guys,

Boy this was a reality check. If I didnt find this website, I would have ended up getting married in Japan and do the K3 and probably get into a huge mess. I do live on my own so I guess the only thing I can do is tell my parents I will go with or without their support. I just hate that they try to fill my head with kidnapping and prison horror stories. They even go as far as to suggest the Viet people will try to kill me because I am dark skinned and that implies that I am black. Go figure.......Anyways, I will have 2 trips to Japan which we can use as proof that she is well traveled and that she never overstayed her travel visa. Then I could take a 2-3 trips to Vietnam along with the engagement ceremony and then file for the K1. Quick question. If I do make a few trips to Vietnam and then file for the K1, will the trips to Japan hurt us or help us?

Carl

[aaron2020 11,651]

Thanks guys,

Boy this was a reality check. If I didnt find this website, I would have ended up getting married in Japan and do the K3 and probably get into a huge mess. I do live on my own so I guess the only thing I can do is tell my parents I will go with or without their support. I just hate that they try to fill my head with kidnapping and prison horror stories. They even go as far as to suggest the Viet people will try to kill me because I am dark skinned and that implies that I am black. Go figure.......Anyways, I will have 2 trips to Japan which we can use as proof that she is well traveled and that she never overstayed her travel visa. Then I could take a 2-3 trips to Vietnam along with the engagement ceremony and then file for the K1. Quick question. If I do make a few trips to Vietnam and then file for the K1, will the trips to Japan hurt us or help us?

Carl

The trips to Japan will show how your relationship started. That shouldn't be a problem at all. IMHO, a spontaneous meeting is a third country (meaning not yours or hers) is a lot better than a meeting arranged by her family or friends or the internet.