Really scared about interview

[luvmypinayfiance 0]

I'm really freaked out about our interview when we get to that part.

Several months ago my fiance tried to come to meet me on a visitor visa. Obviously you can't say you're coming to meet your potential fiancee/ boyfriend on a non-immigrant visitor visa or they will deny it assuming you're planning to immigrate. They shot down the visitor visa anyway because she's not rich. "Ties to the philippines", i.e. not rich enough to own a large business and a large house, so SOL.

With us not being able to think of a better reason she said at the time she knew my filipina g/f and was coming to visit us both. I did have a filipina girlfriend with a greencard here in the states during the time we were chatting (she was already in the US and already had a greencard when I started dating her). She wasn't a great person and I dumped her a long time ago. Our relationship was really shaky and falling apart by the time my now-fiance and I had started messaging each other on a facebook-type site. We were just friends, both dating other people, both bitching about our relationships to each other. Somewhere along the way we figured out we really matched a lot, had all the same goals and ideas about life, and eventually started falling in love.

A few months after this visitor visa attempt I finally qualified for some more vacation time and I went to meet her in person finally, when we decided we really did have a good chemistry as well as getting along in theory, and decided to shoot for the K1 visa and get married. We've been chatting a long time at that point, over a year.

Now we're working on our K1 and thinking, what do we say at the interview if they ask about the visitor visa interview? That was 7-8 months ago now, will it even matter? It's not like I was married to the other girl, but will they try to paint my fiancee as a relationship-breaker? Or assume she was lying when she did her visitor interview? She didn't really lie, she just didn't disclose that my relationship with my g/f was falling apart and we WERE actually interested in seeing if we liked each other in person for potential future dating.

I had actually broken up with that other girl for a couple of months from all her lying, and let her beg her way in for another chance when i really shouldn't have. When the lying started again, and shortly after the visitor visa interview, I dumped her for good, and my now-fiancee and i started becoming more and more very serious. We had started chatting a lot and flirting a lot when I was broken up with the other girl, and my now-fiancee was also dating other people when i took the bad one back for another short try. We both stopped dating after her attempted visitor visa and started focusing only on each other.

Will they bring it up at the interview? How should she answer, should she be honest and say, yes we were planning on seeing if we should date? If she originally said she was coming to meet us both? How will that make her look, even if she said our relationship (mine and my ex-g/f) was falling apart by that time and we're just seeing if we like each other in person, nothing farther? Even if she says we're both dating other people at that time and we just want to see how we get along in person?

What should we plan to say if they bring it up at the interview?

Anyone have a similar experience and how did it work out?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Honestly you're freaking out about nothing.

It's unlikely that she will be questioned about it because everyone knows that things change.

You answered your own qn several times but seem to be doubting it.

1. She entered on a visitors visa to meet YOU (and your gf). She met YOU (and your gf) and she left in time. No issue. Your gf of the time is a non-issue. They care that you guys have met in the last 2 years.

2. She may have known your relationship was rocky but you weren't dating her, she was coming over as a friend, albeit one your had feelings for (I'm sure this has happened to other people)

3. Your relationship with your fiancee is what matters, not this old relationship.

From what you've written:

- You met your fiance online in X while you were in a relationship with another girl.

- She came to visit you both in X

- You started officially dating in X

- You became engaged in X

Then all she needs is proof of a "real relationship" like phonecalls etc. The circumstances of meeting are irrelevant.

To answer your qn directly:

1. Your gf isn't a relationship breaker - she helped you realise that you didn't deserve to be treated the way you were and that you deserved better.

2. She didn't LIE to get her visitors visa, she simply didn't tell them that she liked you and you liked her. You had a gf. That was the truth. Interviewing officers don't need to hear "well I think I like him. I'm not sure. His gf is a ######. We're gunna meet 'cause I think he's nice" it's just emotional rambling. You told the truth. You met him, you left. Done.

Out of interest, i started talking to my now husband while living with my abusive ex-bf. We started dating "officially" 2 weeks after I moved out from living with my ex. We became engaged not long after meeting in person, but around a year into officially dating. I was never qn'd about him being a home-wreaker and he wasn't. I love him, i hated my ex.

Edited January 7, 2010 by Vanessa&Tony

[DainandVicky 4]

I'm really freaked out about our interview when we get to that part.

Several months ago my fiance tried to come to meet me on a visitor visa. Obviously you can't say you're coming to meet your potential fiancee/ boyfriend on a non-immigrant visitor visa or they will deny it assuming you're planning to immigrate. They shot down the visitor visa anyway because she's not rich. "Ties to the philippines", i.e. not rich enough to own a large business and a large house, so SOL.

With us not being able to think of a better reason she said at the time she knew my filipina g/f and was coming to visit us both. I did have a filipina girlfriend with a greencard here in the states during the time we were chatting (she was already in the US and already had a greencard when I started dating her). She wasn't a great person and I dumped her a long time ago. Our relationship was really shaky and falling apart by the time my now-fiance and I had started messaging each other on a facebook-type site. We were just friends, both dating other people, both bitching about our relationships to each other. Somewhere along the way we figured out we really matched a lot, had all the same goals and ideas about life, and eventually started falling in love.

A few months after this visitor visa attempt I finally qualified for some more vacation time and I went to meet her in person finally, when we decided we really did have a good chemistry as well as getting along in theory, and decided to shoot for the K1 visa and get married. We've been chatting a long time at that point, over a year.

Now we're working on our K1 and thinking, what do we say at the interview if they ask about the visitor visa interview? That was 7-8 months ago now, will it even matter? It's not like I was married to the other girl, but will they try to paint my fiancee as a relationship-breaker? Or assume she was lying when she did her visitor interview? She didn't really lie, she just didn't disclose that my relationship with my g/f was falling apart and we WERE actually interested in seeing if we liked each other in person for potential future dating.

I had actually broken up with that other girl for a couple of months from all her lying, and let her beg her way in for another chance when i really shouldn't have. When the lying started again, and shortly after the visitor visa interview, I dumped her for good, and my now-fiancee and i started becoming more and more very serious. We had started chatting a lot and flirting a lot when I was broken up with the other girl, and my now-fiancee was also dating other people when i took the bad one back for another short try. We both stopped dating after her attempted visitor visa and started focusing only on each other.

Will they bring it up at the interview? How should she answer, should she be honest and say, yes we were planning on seeing if we should date? If she originally said she was coming to meet us both? How will that make her look, even if she said our relationship (mine and my ex-g/f) was falling apart by that time and we're just seeing if we like each other in person, nothing farther? Even if she says we're both dating other people at that time and we just want to see how we get along in person?

What should we plan to say if they bring it up at the interview?

Anyone have a similar experience and how did it work out?

Wall of text crits you for 8000 lol, sorry flashback to my online gaming days.

I've seen a requirement for some other embassies of a statement of evolution of relationship from the US Citizen, I wonder if that would help in your particular case to help solidify her story? I don't think that's a requirement for Manila (hope not, I didn't send one hehe).

Not sure what else to give you, just be honest and hope for the best when you get to that point.

Vanessa and Tony, I don't think she actually went on the visitor visa, it says it got "shot down", not like it matters I think your advice is right on.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Wall of text crits you for 8000 lol, sorry flashback to my online gaming days.

I've seen a requirement for some other embassies of a statement of evolution of relationship from the US Citizen, I wonder if that would help in your particular case to help solidify her story? I don't think that's a requirement for Manila (hope not, I didn't send one hehe).

Not sure what else to give you, just be honest and hope for the best when you get to that point.

Vanessa and Tony, I don't think she actually went on the visitor visa, it says it got "shot down", not like it matters I think your advice is right on.

Huh. I completely skipped a whole sentence (the one about his visiting so I assumed she just reapplied) :S Watching Grease 2 is my excuse...

[NVC FAN :( 18]

whats up, hey my fiancee now wife has been through manila embassy. he interview was pleasant but if you research manila embassy here on vj you will find some stories that you just find hard to believe. Only advice i can give you and your fiancee, is that if it is asked ( probaly will not be ) just tell the truth as you or she knows it. I would not dismiss anything and be prepared for anything.

gl. ps every one freaks out about something at this point. me included.

[luvmypinayfiance 0]

ok thanks for the answers, i feel better now

[jcrom 2]

Hello Everybody, My friend, You have an easy solution. First of all, your interview is only about the new relationship, whatever happened with whoever in the other time does not matter. Now, I suggest you this good strategy for the interview. Like I always suggest to the whole people that I help a little bit with the papers, PLEASE JUST ANSWER EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE ASKING, DO NOT ANSWER NEITHER MORE OR NEITHER LESS; What does it mean? you have to be consice, accurate and do not get too long on the answers when it does not is needed. For example: if the person in the interview ask you: What is your name? you answer exactly your name, do not answer more or less things, details or comments; you have to answer accurate, concise and without giving any explanation on the things that really are not needed. Everything what you say is recorded and in case of any weakness, the officer might ask 10 questions in order to get that weakness and deny you the application or petition. It is good to have nice and good evidences, but this is other advice, DO NOT GIVE TOO MUCH EVIDENCE OR TOO MUCH PICTURES, WHY? a few times when the officer wants to bit... you, the officer can use all the evidence to put YOU much more on trouble against you; in my country we say "knife for your own throat"; it is very good that you have evidence both in quality and quantity , but the correct number is not neither just a little, neither too much evidence as the same with the pictures, or else you would have to study everything, even what is on each picture and everything. Like we say in my country and believe me, this is not to get you scare or to hold you back of performing the things, it is just to tell you that USCIS are very smart, sharp and wise, they are trained and sometimes they like to be intimadated, cocky and arrogant people in order to turn you down with your case or application. I like to aware the people to be concious about what is going to go into, this is not a joke or a game that you can tell lies and of course. Hence, you can get well prepared for any IMMIGRATION INTERVIEW OR EMBASSY INTERVIEW, really, it is for the well-being and good performance on any case that I like that the people get attentive and get prepared for a hard and maybe intimating interview. Thanks and bye,