Divorce Papers Problem

[nlovewithher 0]

Given what you have said about her mother, do you know where the mother lived? It would seem like a good place to look for the divorce.

Yes, I did know, but when she moved out of state it was with her mother.

I know her first name, and I know that her last name was different than my X, but exactly what I don’t remember.

I also have narrowed it down to about 5 probable states they moved to based on what I do remember about them.

I also just did a search on both intelius and aretheyreallysingle.com they didn’t even find my second marriage or divorce much less the first one.

I am wondering now if the first was even legal considering the clerk can’t find it. As it stands I have no proof of the marriage much less the divorce.

[~Johnny~ 27]

Yes, I did know, but when she moved out of state it was with her mother.

I know her first name, and I know that her last name was different than my X, but exactly what I don’t remember.

I also have narrowed it down to about 5 probable states they moved to based on what I do remember about them.

I also just did a search on both intelius and aretheyreallysingle.com they didn’t even find my second marriage or divorce much less the first one.

I am wondering now if the first was even legal considering the clerk can’t find it. As it stands I have no proof of the marriage much less the divorce.

Just realized that both of those search sites will tell you if your state is one of the lucky ones that don't keep database searcheable records. I seriously believe that without a private investigator, the USCIS could not just magically push a button pull up your marriage/divorce info. They can't pull up what isn't in a database. The USCIS has a FACT Sheet on how it conducts it's searches. It does two main searches, one is the FBI search (looking for domestis arrests/convictions)...I forgot what the other search is, but it also is not related to marriages/divorces....I think something to do with immigration. Do you have your second divorce decree?

Edited January 5, 2010 by duplantisjj

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Yes, I did know, but when she moved out of state it was with her mother.

I know her first name, and I know that her last name was different than my X, but exactly what I don’t remember.

I also have narrowed it down to about 5 probable states they moved to based on what I do remember about them.

I also just did a search on both intelius and aretheyreallysingle.com they didn’t even find my second marriage or divorce much less the first one.

I am wondering now if the first was even legal considering the clerk can’t find it. As it stands I have no proof of the marriage much less the divorce.

out of interest I did a search for my husband on "aretheyreallysingle.com" and no marriages were listed for him and I KNOW our marriage was legal and it was only 2 months ago. I have the official marriage licence too so I qn their validity

[Bobby+Umit 161]

I'm curious on how you managed to get married the second time.

They ask you if your were previous married, and if so, you have to produce evidence of the divorce.

Did you not tell them you were married prior?

[~Johnny~ 27]

out of interest I did a search for my husband on "aretheyreallysingle.com" and no marriages were listed for him and I KNOW our marriage was legal and it was only 2 months ago. I have the official marriage licence too so I qn their validity

The thing is, your state may NOT maintain records available to a national database. Some states, like Louisiana, only maintain birth records as a searcheable "vital statistic." There is NO national records database in the US that inlcudes all states where you can know everyone that was married and when, where, etc... There are only 12 or so states that participate in a national database project. That leaves 38 states, and others Districts etc... maintaining it's own records, files, and method of retreiving. I was married 13 years in Alaska ...and the search engines never showed my marriage, because Alaska doesn't participate. BUT...it did show my name and her name at the same address due to SSN records and tax filings.

[nlovewithher 0]

I'm curious on how you managed to get married the second time.

They ask you if your were previous married, and if so, you have to produce evidence of the divorce.

Did you not tell them you were married prior?

At the time I like most people had assumed these records were available nationally. They didn’t ask, I knew there had to be a default judgment. So I just assumed they looked it up someplace and saw it was all good.

It wasn’t until I had to provide copies of the divorce papers that I found out there is indeed no national registry.

Just realized that both of those search sites will tell you if your state is one of the lucky ones that don't keep database searcheable records. I seriously believe that without a private investigator, the USCIS could not just magically push a button pull up your marriage/divorce info. They can't pull up what isn't in a database. The USCIS has a FACT Sheet on how it conducts it's searches. It does two main searches, one is the FBI search (looking for domestis arrests/convictions)...I forgot what the other search is, but it also is not related to marriages/divorces....I think something to do with immigration. Do you have your second divorce decree?

Yes I have the second.

[~Johnny~ 27]

I'm curious on how you managed to get married the second time.

They ask you if your were previous married, and if so, you have to produce evidence of the divorce.

Did you not tell them you were married prior?

For me it's been 16 years since my Alaska wedding. And if remember right, there was check box...previously divorced? And then I believe there was a question, "are you legally able to marry?" And that was the extent of it. Never was asked to produce a decree. Every state handles marriages/divorces differently that why the difficulty in a national database exsists. Imagine getting all those national clerks to work together...

[nlovewithher 0]

The thing is, your state may NOT maintain records available to a national database. Some states, like Louisiana, only maintain birth records as a searcheable "vital statistic." There is NO national records database in the US that inlcudes all states where you can know everyone that was married and when, where, etc... There are only 12 or so states that participate in a national database project. That leaves 38 states, and others Districts etc... maintaining it's own records, files, and method of retreiving. I was married 13 years in Alaska ...and the search engines never showed my marriage, because Alaska doesn't participate. BUT...it did show my name and her name at the same address due to SSN records and tax filings.

It had 4 ‘possible sister’ listings… all names I don’t know. (I don’t have a sister)

We didn’t have a joint bank account, no joint taxes, not even a utility bill. I think I might have had her on an old video store membership, and I think they are out of business now.

She may have been a want-a-be gold digger, but also was not a very smart one because I had no gold to dig at the time.

[nlovewithher 0]

For me it's been 16 years since my Alaska wedding. And if remember right, there was check box...previously divorced? And then I believe there was a question, "are you legally able to marry?" And that was the extent of it. Never was asked to produce a decree. Every state handles marriages/divorces differently that why the difficulty in a national database exsists. Imagine getting all those national clerks to work together...

Ya, might be problematic considering they can’t find the first marriage license either.

[~Johnny~ 27]

At the time I like most people had assumed these records were available nationally. They didn’t ask, I knew there had to be a default judgment. So I just assumed they looked it up someplace and saw it was all good.

It wasn’t until I had to provide copies of the divorce papers that I found out there is indeed no national registry.

Yes I have the second.

EXACTLY!! I really thought they looked into some national computer registery and since I knew I was divorced/annulled..whatever....20+ something yrs ago...that it just showed up on their radar screen. I was never asked twice about it when we filed for Alaska marriage license (which took 10 days to process). Wasn't until a few months ago, prepping for K1 that I realized,,,,there is NO national registery.... only a few states have data available....and my own search came up nothing. I've also read that many of the consulates do the exact same search as done by the same commerically available outlets. And VJ has VERY little reading on this subject.....

Edited January 5, 2010 by duplantisjj

[~Johnny~ 27]

It had 4 ‘possible sister’ listings… all names I don’t know. (I don’t have a sister)

We didn’t have a joint bank account, no joint taxes, not even a utility bill. I think I might have had her on an old video store membership, and I think they are out of business now.

She may have been a want-a-be gold digger, but also was not a very smart one because I had no gold to dig at the time.

WOW!! Did you steall my past??? Damn same fn story.. I have 6 mths with this princess from hell when I was 19. We lived with my parents.... and never had a bank acct, video card, nothing together. Her name doesn't even show on my background investigation. But lots of people I don't know are on there as having similar address. I even a have person with my name (different middle) that is DECEASED!! Go figure.

Edited January 5, 2010 by duplantisjj

[VanessaTony 3,567]

have you tried facebook searching her or myspace? Or googling her? you said it's a common name but maybe she has a good profile pic so you know for sure it's her (my 60 y/o half-sister has a FB! as does my husbands grandmother so not only "kids" join)

Can you think of ANY records you had with her? Maybe a joint bank account, the state you were married in at least? Would your family/friends know a rough year? Can you think of a range of dates? Like "it was hot" or "it was Christmas soon"... something like that?

I'm not sure how legal this is, but maybe the school her kids attended? Surely the government keeps track of kids and their education?

[~Johnny~ 27]

have you tried facebook searching her or myspace? Or googling her? you said it's a common name but maybe she has a good profile pic so you know for sure it's her (my 60 y/o half-sister has a FB! as does my husbands grandmother so not only "kids" join)

Can you think of ANY records you had with her? Maybe a joint bank account, the state you were married in at least? Would your family/friends know a rough year? Can you think of a range of dates? Like "it was hot" or "it was Christmas soon"... something like that?

I'm not sure how legal this is, but maybe the school her kids attended? Surely the government keeps track of kids and their education?

Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Friendster, Hi5, Google, Whois, Yahoo People, you name it. Like this girl disappeared 20 years ago. I don't even know if she is dead, or remarried and changed name...which is likely what happened.

Honestly I have steered away from discussing my legal and non-legal options because this site is a great site and has loads of good information. But I know we can not promote anything that would support an illegal recommendation. However, I am running out of options. If I can't find the the date of marriage or divorce decree even with a search to the county clerks of court, how would USCIS find it?

Edited January 6, 2010 by duplantisjj

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Facebook, Twitter, Myspace, Friendster, Hi5, Google, Whois, Yahoo People, you name it. Like this girl disappeared 20 years ago. I don't even know if she is dead, or remarried and changed name...which is likely what happened.

Honestly I have steered away from discussing my legal and non-legal options because this site is a great site and has loads of good information. But I know we can not promote anything that would support an illegal recommendation. However, I am running out of options. If I can't find the the date of marriage or divorce decree even with a search to the county clerks of court, how would USCIS find it?

Well, ultimately it's up to you what you decide to do but as always, lying tends to cause more problems.

Consider contacting USCIS to find out what you need to prove the prior marriage ended. Whether it be evidence of you searching for records of marriage & divorce. I just find it so hard to believe that the place you were living at the time of marriage has NO proof ANYWHERE. There's got to be an application, or the licence copy or SOMETHING.

You have proof of the most recent, and of the divorce. Ask them whether that is enough proof of "free to marry".

[~Johnny~ 27]

have you tried facebook searching her or myspace? Or googling her? you said it's a common name but maybe she has a good profile pic so you know for sure it's her (my 60 y/o half-sister has a FB! as does my husbands grandmother so not only "kids" join)

Can you think of ANY records you had with her? Maybe a joint bank account, the state you were married in at least? Would your family/friends know a rough year? Can you think of a range of dates? Like "it was hot" or "it was Christmas soon"... something like that?

I'm not sure how legal this is, but maybe the school her kids attended? Surely the government keeps track of kids and their education?

You know I haven't been able to even find her name on any search. But even if I could find her name SOMEWHERE....I'd still be looking for the specific marriage/divorce papers, which takes me back to square one...the county clerks' office. Which needs more than her name and my name. They need approximate years (which really I don't know, I was a singer in rock band in the 80s...hint hint)... I even wonder if we had official wedding... I don't recall much from those years. Life is so much better now!! ...

Edited January 6, 2010 by duplantisjj