NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON!

[Donna A 4]

try what other people have said and if it dont work....find yourself a male friend and see how he likes it.

[adiiann 163]

try what other people have said and if it dont work....find yourself a male friend and see how he likes it.

I agree.... Hahahahaha!... Maybe he would understand how you feel towards the situation.

[FortLaudy 10]

try what other people have said and if it dont work....find yourself a male friend and see how he likes it.

haha, I'm not the jealous kind, but if my husband were to start hanging out with "girl friends" without me in the same company, I'll be doing exactly what you suggested and see if he likes it, but we're just newly weds and joined to the hip apart from when he goes to work right now so no problem there yet, definetely a good tip

[del-11-03-2013 1]

When i read this reply... It made me think that your issue is not totally your husband's fault. If you would re-read your post (first post) ... the fight started with you. You are the one who started it when you commanded him to stop seeing his friend. Your husband was being honest with you about his past. Its your reaction that worsen the situation.

The post above confirms that you are being a bi##tch. You are the one who built the argument and your hubby stop talking just to shut you up.

On your comment that its unfair that "he has a friend to run and you don't" your immaturity is showing up.

Another line: "But I can't just sit and shut my mouth." If you want to make your marriage work... stop being a bi##tch.

Its takes two to tango. Re-read your post and see the stuff you contributed to make your marriage hell!

It is hard to change another person. It is easier to change oneself. If you want your marriage work... you have to change.

Pardon if i offended you but when i analyze your post... your problem is not totally because of your husband.. If you continue what you are doing... say good bye to your marriage.

Stop your insecurity and start acting mature...

I totally agreed with her. My fiance have a few close female friends and it's unfair for me to tell him who he can friends and who he can't. I don't care about his past. He is mine now. As long he don't cheat on me, I'm fine with it. No men like to be nag. I think you need to be more mature & feel secure with yourself. You have to love yourself more

[FortLaudy 10]

I don't see why a husband wants to spend time alone with another woman and not in the company of his wife apart from work, it stinks to me, I'm sorry and she has good reason to be worried. What does he do with the other woman that he cannot do with his own wife? Is it some sort of a hobby/sport that the wife just doesn't participate in or what do you think they're doing, drinking coffee? He's seeing this woman behind the wife's back? Come on ! unless this was "agreed" upon before that this will be an "open" marriage where both are allowed to see other people then it's just wrong.

[f1_gurl 0]

Sometimes its better to act and dont give your husband a slightest hint that you are jealous.. make him think and wonder why you arent jealous...

but in this scenario... im sorry it seems like your husband is confuse...

[FortLaudy 10]

Nobody should be acting in a marriage, or fighting tooth and nail to hold on to somebody - what's with the desperation? Why would you want someone who doesn't want you? You deserve better than to be treated like a second-class citizen, don't let his selfish acts diminish your self-worth, get yourself together and lay down the rules, if he doesn't want to change his ways, leave him and find someone who will love you in the same way that you love him.

[jOHnLei 0]

Any update lei? How are you doing girl?

As to the update of my situation it started this week that we are doing better as a couple. We never had serious discussion but we had talk about the important issue, our attention now is the marriage to work that we both agreed and committed to, its a lifetime commitment. He's back to the way he's used to treat me as wife and i do the same with him, we compromise more now. I explained to him how i felt with the issue and he understands more and knows where im coming from, and that i needed him more than anyone else. He explains that 'the friend' is only a friend and will forever be a friend, that im the wife and no one could ever replace me. The trial that we have been through is not that easy but as newly married couple there's room for change and make-up. We also agreed that we will both give each other a chance to realize and learn the mistakes we have made and start over again. I hope that we will get better and better everyday and for us to have happy married life now and in the future.

To all the vj member, to my ate's and kuya's here..... salamat. I am doing some of your advices here. im learning...

salamat sa makausab.

Lei

[marklovetina 52]

As to the update of my situation it started this week that we are doing better as a couple. We never had serious discussion but we had talk about the important issue, our attention now is the marriage to work that we both agreed and committed to, its a lifetime commitment. He's back to the way he's used to treat me as wife and i do the same with him, we compromise more now. I explained to him how i felt with the issue and he understands more and knows where im coming from, and that i needed him more than anyone else. He explains that 'the friend' is only a friend and will forever be a friend, that im the wife and no one could ever replace me. The trial that we have been through is not that easy but as newly married couple there's room for change and make-up. We also agreed that we will both give each other a chance to realize and learn the mistakes we have made and start over again. I hope that we will get better and better everyday and for us to have happy married life now and in the future.

To all the vj member, to my ate's and kuya's here..... salamat. I am doing some of your advices here. im learning...

salamat sa makausab.

Lei

:thumbs:

[frostysoftyeaton 6]

As to the update of my situation it started this week that we are doing better as a couple. We never had serious discussion but we had talk about the important issue, our attention now is the marriage to work that we both agreed and committed to, its a lifetime commitment. He's back to the way he's used to treat me as wife and i do the same with him, we compromise more now. I explained to him how i felt with the issue and he understands more and knows where im coming from, and that i needed him more than anyone else. He explains that 'the friend' is only a friend and will forever be a friend, that im the wife and no one could ever replace me. The trial that we have been through is not that easy but as newly married couple there's room for change and make-up. We also agreed that we will both give each other a chance to realize and learn the mistakes we have made and start over again. I hope that we will get better and better everyday and for us to have happy married life now and in the future.

To all the vj member, to my ate's and kuya's here..... salamat. I am doing some of your advices here. im learning...

salamat sa makausab.

Lei

good going and remember to talk to each other even when the problems may seem small because a bunch of small problems can be much worse than 1 large problem good luck and god bless

[danvil101 0]

There's a rainbow after the rain...

[Tahoma 2,292]

^ It will be interesting to find out how the husband behaves when his female "friend" gets out of jail.

I hope the OP will return in a few months and update us regarding her emotional weather report.

[jOHnLei 0]

^ It will be interesting to find out how the husband behaves when his female "friend" gets out of jail.

I hope the OP will return in a few months and update us regarding her emotional weather report.

That's interesting, I'll keep you posted...

[road417king 7]

try what other people have said and if it dont work....find yourself a male friend and see how he likes it.

Absolutely the WORST idea, I advise that you do NOT do this. Do nothing illegal or immoral, that's the quickest way as it will jeopardize your ability to remain here since you have already stated that an AOS has not been done.

<editing this from my original post>

I saw later that you had a talk with him and things are better. Be strong, be smart, be loving and keep reminding him of why he married you. Not through words, but through actions.

Good luck!

Mike

Edited January 25, 2010 by road417king

[ronalyn 0]

sorry to hear about your story.anyway, all i can say is, if that girl is just and ONLY a friend of your husband, she should know where she stands now in your hubby's life. A "girl-friend" should not be visiting her married "boy-friend" 4x a week; i mean, what for?!. she should already know her limits NOT UNLESS something is going on between her and your husband. And besides, if they are JUST FRIENDS, your husband should've told her about you from day one that you started communicating since they can talk about anything and everything under the sun like you said. And vice-versa, your husband should've told you about her too! Based from your story, if its not the girl who visits or picks up your husband from your house; it is your husband who does those things and I guess that is something you should be worried about. I mean, there must be really something fishy going on... Hey, I am not trying to give you bad advice but if I were you, I will be very and more observant in everything that your husband does. Continue checking his phone because answers to your questions might be there BUT dont you ever confront your husband or the girl if you dont have enough and valid evidence BUT do NOT let them FOOL you; do NOT be blinded by gifts or sweet nothings from your husband especially if you notice that your husband is really hiding something from you. BE STRONG my dear...

Need Advice!

Here's the story!

Husband has a girl friend and hid her before i came here. I dont know her, i have no clue that he has a girl friend and close to each other. 2 days after my arrival in the US she introduced her to me, they are neighbors 2 blocks away from where we live (walking distance for me). They are very close, friends for 4 years and they can talk anything and everything under the sun. Husband said shes a friend that he can run to whenever he needed somebody to talk to, however, i wasnt told about her. Couple of weeks later, i read their text msgs and found out that shes calling him "babe" I was so jealous and asked hubby if theres something going on between them. He said nothing and they are only friends and that 2 years ago he asked the girl for a dinner and tried if it'll work beyond friendship but the girl refuses and 2 weeks before i came here the girl proposed to him that she'll leave her boyfriend if my husband would like to be with her. I freaked out when i heard about it and told him not to see her again coz as for me woman will ruin us. I am always in pain, feel so hurt, i always cry a river when it comes to her everytime he hides and that they're seeing each other behind my back. Hubby is always there with her if she needed a ride, doctors appointment and others. I never knew about that and when i learned about it and wanted to know everyday what she's up to and why she wanted my husband to give her a ride, some times i am told some time dont and still the same it'll always been left unsaid, they are still seeing each other without me knowing it. His alibis was if he tells me i freak out and if not i freak out.

Husband didnt tell her about me as we are talking in the internet, she only knew that her friend was engaged 4 months before i came here or i guess the day that my visa was approved. We live with his parents and if times his parents not around she visits, she has no car and lost her license so hubby pick her up to her house all the time, she used to visit the house 4 times a week before but now that im here hubby visits to her house, we always argued about her cant stand their friendship. He replied to her text msg when im not around and even call. I know he doesnt like arguements and so do i, he said there is nothing to be jealous about but why hes hiding it and erased their text messages. He runs to her 2am one time we argued. I dont know what to do about this anymore it drivin me crazy. I feel like i am all alone. i had nobody to talk to except his mom. he doesnt want to hurt bcoz he loves me but why he does things that will make my heartache. I know that its so unfair if i stop him from seeing her, he should understand that I gave up everything. He cant even keep his words. I love him so much more than myself. I am so weak when it comes to him and her. I wanted to go home, they said we need counseling. i dont know what to do..... He ignores my feeling.

Please i need ur advice hudband and wife's opinion.

He's 38 im 25...