NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON!

[-B&T- 1]

Thank You!

Its been awhile since my last post, was able to read all your response. Thank you for expressing your advice and sympathy that in some way it made me feel better. It made me realize also that I need more myself to love before the other half. Id like to say that your posts guys made me stonger and that I need this marriage to work and not just sit and cry in one corner and that i need to do things that will make him realize also my worth.

Recent news that i heard from him is the friend is in prison now for 6months. Dont know exactly why but she has ticket of driving without license, used other names and others. As of today we are bit fine however, i can sense that his treatment with me has been changed differently he doesnt greet me in the morning or even kiss me. I could careless, if he treats me that way fine.

Again Thank you....

It's very hard to live like that... he can't even say hi??? Good thing the "Friend" is away now lol she's dangerous. Just stay cool and keep your chin up sis and continue to be nice/loving/caring wife maybe things will go back to normal now that the girl is away if not, move on, decide what you think is best. Good luck!

[marklovetina 52]

o kala ko ba ok na kau ng hubby mo..? hindi ka man lang nya greet ng morning and say i love u and wla man lang kiss pag-gising sa umaga..? hay... ang hirap namn... but good to know na naplayo ang gurlalooosh na friend nya... kaso after 6 months eh pano un ulit pag-lumabas na un don sa pinunthan nya...

[Juan de la Cruz 0]

To the OP,

Your posts indicate that you have been in the USA for less than 4 months, but your husband's friend has been hauled to the slammer 6 months ago. How can that be?

Inday, di ko motoo sa imong cuento. Murag bogus ba!

[Pinay Wife 47]

To the OP,

Your posts indicate that you have been in the USA for less than 4 months, but your husband's friend has been hauled to the slammer 6 months ago. How can that be?

Inday, di ko motoo sa imong cuento. Murag bogus ba!

Manong, I think what she meant was that the girl will be in prison for 6 months.

To OP, hindi natutulog ang Diyos, ang bilis ng karma doon sa other woman.

Edited January 13, 2010 by Pinay Wife

[Juan de la Cruz 0]

Manong, I think what she meant was that the girl will be in prison for 6 months.

To OP, hindi natutulog ang Diyos, ang bilis ng karma doon sa other woman.

So, the sentence is 6 months in the joint. Sorry to the OP, and, PW, thanks for the clarification.

[jOHnLei 0]

@juan dela cruz: just clarify it she's in jail for 3days now so it will be until 6months however, she can appeal for a 2weeks in jail and with that she will be in probation for 2years.

@pinay wife: ate, thank you. You made it clarified too..

[jom 4]

Thank You!

Its been awhile since my last post, was able to read all your response. Thank you for expressing your advice and sympathy that in some way it made me feel better. It made me realize also that I need more myself to love before the other half. Id like to say that your posts guys made me stonger and that I need this marriage to work and not just sit and cry in one corner and that i need to do things that will make him realize also my worth.

Recent news that i heard from him is the friend is in prison now for 6months. Dont know exactly why but she has ticket of driving without license, used other names and others. As of today we are bit fine however, i can sense that his treatment with me has been changed differently he doesnt greet me in the morning or even kiss me. I could careless, if he treats me that way fine.

Again Thank you....

What I dont understand is why you have to put up with this behaviour?? Obviously he doesnt love you , so why stay?

You deserve better. Its time to leave .

[jOHnLei 0]

What I dont understand is why you have to put up with this behaviour?? Obviously he doesnt love you , so why stay?

You deserve better. Its time to leave .

for myself te, I can feel that he loves me. He doesn't like arguments that he said I always build. Yes, we argued coz of her and I agree with him. It's unfair for my side that he has friend to run and I don't. He only acts like that if I build up arguments with him. His mom told me that he really don't like it. He told me couple of days ago that he loves me but he never expected that the marriage gone this way and so did I. But I can't just sit and shut my mouth.

Btw, His mom is in my side.

[~Johnny~ 27]

for myself te, I can feel that he loves me. He doesn't like arguments that he said I always build. Yes, we argued coz of her and I agree with him. It's unfair for my side that he has friend to run and I don't. He only acts like that if I build up arguments with him. His mom told me that he really don't like it. He told me couple of days ago that he loves me but he never expected that the marriage gone this way and so did I. But I can't just sit and shut my mouth.

Btw, His mom is in my side.

Hi, just reading through all this and I'm stunned!! You shouldn't have to "shut you mouth!" Please don't take this wrong as I obviously can see you are in love...but what he is doing is totally disrespectful of you and your marriage! You are at perhaps the most difficult time in you life right now! You've left family, friends and your homeland.... all to be at his side!! Where is he? At someone else's side? Of course his mom is on your side! You're proably a nice girl and his... ahem... "girl" friend is probably not a nice girl. She wants the best for her son, but he wants to play!! I think if he can not realize that his actions are hurting you then he really, deep inside, does not love you as much as he says. You need him more now than you did when you had family and friends to lean on....and he's not there for you! He needs to realize that you have sacrificed your life to be with him!! You need to step back and climb up out of the box and see the situation form a different view. I think if he doesn't do some serious changes, then maybe you will continue having this problem or other problems in the future. And stress is NOT healthy!! You didn't do all this to be stressed out and having to deal with a partner who is always hiding behind the "I don't want to talk about it" argument!! Communication is KEY to a good relationship!!!! You need to really do some soul searchin here. He just may not be ready for this or he may not have thought it out fully. Also, omg...still living with parents is bad! Sooooo hard to have one to one discussions!! Take Care!! Best of Luck!!

[luckymom 0]

I sympathize with you girl! From the day that you and your husband committed to each other, HE SHOULD CUT ALL TIES WITH THIS "FRIEND" of his. That is unacceptable in any relationship. I can understand if it's just a plain friendship in the real sense of the word. But I can sense there is more than friendship, I hope I'm wrong. You need to be strong especially at this point, you don't have anyone with you and you don't have a shoulder to cry on. Just keep yourself busy with other things and eventually find a job and make yourself occupied. Give it a little more time, pray to God to give you more patience and understanding. Sometimes life is so unfair but eventually you will be rewarded for your sacrifices. If you can't tolerate it anymore - then it's time to sit down and ONCE MORE resolve this issues.

I don't see any fault in you, it's your husband who should be considerate enough about your feelings. Just hang in there a little more time, I'm sure there will be some changes if you at least try to sit down and talk with your husband one more time. Good luck...

[rheanick 42]

for myself te, I can feel that he loves me. He doesn't like arguments that he said I always build. Yes, we argued coz of her and I agree with him. It's unfair for my side that he has friend to run and I don't. He only acts like that if I build up arguments with him. His mom told me that he really don't like it. He told me couple of days ago that he loves me but he never expected that the marriage gone this way and so did I. But I can't just sit and shut my mouth.

Btw, His mom is in my side.

Have you filed for adjustment of status?

Edited January 13, 2010 by rheanick

[marklovetina 52]

Hi, just reading through all this and I'm stunned!! You shouldn't have to "shut you mouth!" Please don't take this wrong as I obviously can see you are in love...but what he is doing is totally disrespectful of you and your marriage! You are at perhaps the most difficult time in you life right now! You've left family, friends and your homeland.... all to be at his side!! Where is he? At someone else's side? Of course his mom is on your side! You're proably a nice girl and his... ahem... "girl" friend is probably not a nice girl. She wants the best for her son, but he wants to play!! I think if he can not realize that his actions are hurting you then he really, deep inside, does not love you as much as he says. You need him more now than you did when you had family and friends to lean on....and he's not there for you! He needs to realize that you have sacrificed your life to be with him!! You need to step back and climb up out of the box and see the situation form a different view. I think if he doesn't do some serious changes, then maybe you will continue having this problem or other problems in the future. And stress is NOT healthy!! You didn't do all this to be stressed out and having to deal with a partner who is always hiding behind the "I don't want to talk about it" argument!! Communication is KEY to a good relationship!!!! You need to really do some soul searchin here. He just may not be ready for this or he may not have thought it out fully. Also, omg...still living with parents is bad! Sooooo hard to have one to one discussions!! Take Care!! Best of Luck!!

:thumbs: akala ko ba ok ka na lei?.. kc nong huli natin usap sa ym sabi mo ok ka na... mabuti na lang pala at malapit sau si ate days... at least me makakausap ka.. kung tlgang ganyan na yang asawa mo eh di sabihin mo sa knya help ka na alng nya mag-adjust ng status mo jan lol!!!... hay naku sis goodluck po sau... and sna maayos na yan tlga... just ym me na lang po ulit para magkakwentuhan tau..bye!!, have to work na

[jom 4]

for myself te, I can feel that he loves me. He doesn't like arguments that he said I always build. Yes, we argued coz of her and I agree with him. It's unfair for my side that he has friend to run and I don't. He only acts like that if I build up arguments with him. His mom told me that he really don't like it. He told me couple of days ago that he loves me but he never expected that the marriage gone this way and so did I. But I can't just sit and shut my mouth.

Btw, His mom is in my side.

If he really loves you, you will be a very happy wife , not miserable. I would never tolerate such treatment...let alone from my husband. But people are built differently. You want to stay married to this person despite being unhappy..I guess you will have to lay on the bed that you made.

Goodluck may you find peace and happiness in the future.

[~bLairwhich~ 0]

Fight for your RIGHT and your LOVE. Trial makes your love stronger or weaker...chose one. Be strong.

I've been there and all I did is to STAY and never give up. Men...they are weak! I say weaker than us 'coz they tend to find comfort in other women and seemed can't to stick to one (hmp!) but the thing is you as a woman should be the stronger one. Fight or give up, it's up to you. Fighting will be the hardest way than giving up but it's worth it when you win your battle.

Once you win it, the chances of him going with another woman (with emotional attachment like your husband and this girl) is very less.

Above all, seek God's guidance. Ask strenght..katakot takot na strenght ang kakailanganin mo.

Need Advice!

Here's the story!

Husband has a girl friend and hid her before i came here. I dont know her, i have no clue that he has a girl friend and close to each other. 2 days after my arrival in the US she introduced her to me, they are neighbors 2 blocks away from where we live (walking distance for me). They are very close, friends for 4 years and they can talk anything and everything under the sun. Husband said shes a friend that he can run to whenever he needed somebody to talk to, however, i wasnt told about her. Couple of weeks later, i read their text msgs and found out that shes calling him "babe" I was so jealous and asked hubby if theres something going on between them. He said nothing and they are only friends and that 2 years ago he asked the girl for a dinner and tried if it'll work beyond friendship but the girl refuses and 2 weeks before i came here the girl proposed to him that she'll leave her boyfriend if my husband would like to be with her. I freaked out when i heard about it and told him not to see her again coz as for me woman will ruin us. I am always in pain, feel so hurt, i always cry a river when it comes to her everytime he hides and that they're seeing each other behind my back. Hubby is always there with her if she needed a ride, doctors appointment and others. I never knew about that and when i learned about it and wanted to know everyday what she's up to and why she wanted my husband to give her a ride, some times i am told some time dont and still the same it'll always been left unsaid, they are still seeing each other without me knowing it. His alibis was if he tells me i freak out and if not i freak out.

Husband didnt tell her about me as we are talking in the internet, she only knew that her friend was engaged 4 months before i came here or i guess the day that my visa was approved. We live with his parents and if times his parents not around she visits, she has no car and lost her license so hubby pick her up to her house all the time, she used to visit the house 4 times a week before but now that im here hubby visits to her house, we always argued about her cant stand their friendship. He replied to her text msg when im not around and even call. I know he doesnt like arguements and so do i, he said there is nothing to be jealous about but why hes hiding it and erased their text messages. He runs to her 2am one time we argued. I dont know what to do about this anymore it drivin me crazy. I feel like i am all alone. i had nobody to talk to except his mom. he doesnt want to hurt bcoz he loves me but why he does things that will make my heartache. I know that its so unfair if i stop him from seeing her, he should understand that I gave up everything. He cant even keep his words. I love him so much more than myself. I am so weak when it comes to him and her. I wanted to go home, they said we need counseling. i dont know what to do..... He ignores my feeling.

Please i need ur advice hudband and wife's opinion.

He's 38 im 25...

[Tahoma 2,292]

If he really loves you, you will be a very happy wife , not miserable. I would never tolerate such treatment...let alone from my husband. But people are built differently. You want to stay married to this person despite being unhappy..I guess you will have to lay on the bed that you made.

Goodluck may you find peace and happiness in the future.

I agree.

Stop being a martyr.