NO CLUE WHATS GOING ON!

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

Nay.......

Bitterness get us nowhere......

I hear ya!

dealing with my own Sh!t too!!!

Edited January 5, 2010 by =FoxyBLUE=

[eros_EX_Plumber 0]

Bitterness much??

Before my words get twisted around once again.....

it was meant to HIM.....that "HE does not appreciated what he got"

just wanted a chance to clarify my meaning.....before the TWIST....lol

[SuperDuper! 230]

Listen to Dakine about this!

Yes, Dakine is never wrong. He had an awkward moment once, just to see what it feels like, thatz it.

Good luck!

[Kevin-n-Merlaine 14]

Yes, Dakine is never wrong. He had an awkward moment once, just to see what it feels like, thatz it.

Good luck!

ahhahhaa...I love him..lol

He once punched a magician...that's right, you heard me

He lives vicariously, through himself

[rheanick 42]

Need Advice!

Here's the story!

Husband has a girl friend and hid her before i came here. I dont know her, i have no clue that he has a girl friend and close to each other. 2 days after my arrival in the US she introduced her to me, they are neighbors 2 blocks away from where we live (walking distance for me). They are very close, friends for 4 years and they can talk anything and everything under the sun. Husband said shes a friend that he can run to whenever he needed somebody to talk to, however, i wasnt told about her. Couple of weeks later, i read their text msgs and found out that shes calling him "babe" I was so jealous and asked hubby if theres something going on between them. He said nothing and they are only friends and that 2 years ago he asked the girl for a dinner and tried if it'll work beyond friendship but the girl refuses and 2 weeks before i came here the girl proposed to him that she'll leave her boyfriend if my husband would like to be with her. I freaked out when i heard about it and told him not to see her again coz as for me woman will ruin us. I am always in pain, feel so hurt, i always cry a river when it comes to her everytime he hides and that they're seeing each other behind my back. Hubby is always there with her if she needed a ride, doctors appointment and others. I never knew about that and when i learned about it and wanted to know everyday what she's up to and why she wanted my husband to give her a ride, some times i am told some time dont and still the same it'll always been left unsaid, they are still seeing each other without me knowing it. His alibis was if he tells me i freak out and if not i freak out.

Husband didnt tell her about me as we are talking in the internet, she only knew that her friend was engaged 4 months before i came here or i guess the day that my visa was approved. We live with his parents and if times his parents not around she visits, she has no car and lost her license so hubby pick her up to her house all the time, she used to visit the house 4 times a week before but now that im here hubby visits to her house, we always argued about her cant stand their friendship. He replied to her text msg when im not around and even call. I know he doesnt like arguements and so do i, he said there is nothing to be jealous about but why hes hiding it and erased their text messages. He runs to her 2am one time we argued. I dont know what to do about this anymore it drivin me crazy. I feel like i am all alone. i had nobody to talk to except his mom. he doesnt want to hurt bcoz he loves me but why he does things that will make my heartache. I know that its so unfair if i stop him from seeing her, he should understand that I gave up everything. He cant even keep his words. I love him so much more than myself. I am so weak when it comes to him and her. I wanted to go home, they said we need counseling. i dont know what to do..... He ignores my feeling.

Please i need ur advice hudband and wife's opinion.

He's 38 im 25...

Your present attitude is just making everything worst. Dont fight with your husband. Make the other woman your friend. Since you are there, everything should go thru you. This could only happen if she is your friend.

I guess you heard of the phrase (not sure if i got it right) : Keep your friend close but your enemy closer.

My 2 cents... its up to you.

[Adam & May 4]

It's sad that this is happening to you.

Some people fail to understand that a relationship is a 3-legged stool. The legs of the stool are LOVE, COMMUNICATION and RESPECT. Take away just one of these legs and the relationship will not stand. Each leg also supports the actions of the others.

Without Love you are more apt to say something that is hurtful or do something that doesn't respect your relationship.

Without Communication love can me abused by silence, lies and a lack of courtesy.

Without Respect for her/him your actions and a bitter tongue leads to withering love.

With all 3 present, it affects every thing you say, every thing you do and every thing you feel.

It should be enough that if his friend (even if platonic) has a negative impact on you and your relationship, he should pull back. His focus should be you. You need him more than she does. He had plenty of time to tell her he cannot be as available after you arrive.

I hope he finally wises up and sees the results of his actions.

Good Luck.

Edited January 5, 2010 by Adam & May

[marklovetina 52]

It's sad that this is happening to you.

Some people fail to understand that a relationship is a 3-legged stool. The legs of the stool are LOVE, COMMUNICATION and RESPECT. Take away just one of these legs and the relationship will not stand. Each leg also supports the actions of the others.

Without Love you are more apt to say something that is hurtful or do something that doesn't respect your relationship.

Without Communication love can me abused by silence, lies and a lack of courtesy.

Without Respect for her/him your actions and a bitter tongue leads to withering love.

With all 3 present, it affects every thing you say, every thing you do and every thing you feel.

It should be enough that if his friend (even if platonic) has a negative impact on you and your relationship, he should pull back. His focus should be you. You need him more than she does. He had plenty of time to tell her he cannot be as available after you arrive.

I hope he finally wises up and sees the results of his actions.

Good Luck.

[SuperDuper! 230]

ahhahhaa...I love him..lol

He once punched a magician...that's right, you heard me

He lives vicariously, through himself

Yea, a real cool guy. His reputation is expanding faster than the universe!

OP: do what you have to , to feel good again, AND respected.

Best wishes.

Edited January 5, 2010 by Hopp

[Darnell 8,478]

IMO, him being 38 and living with parents, is a huge red flag. There's something else wrong, IMO.

Short term, the two of you, together, should move out of the parents house, say 100 miles away, then he get another job in that place.

The 'friend' is his safety net, if anything goes wrong with YOU and HIM, he will run to her.

Not very 'man-like', if ya ask me.

Good Luck !

[mrsartis 10]

stay postitve sis.. give yourself a break, and try not to think about them.. FIRST things first, yourself =) g

[dannyannemj 0]

well i guess, be patience, pabayaan mo siya sa ginagawa niya mag sasawa din yan if wala talagang changes and you applied of aos na or gc or whatsoever, maybe you find a job... weehh nd ko rin alam gagawin ko if I am in your shoes, basta pray ka na lang talaga girl sana maayos din yan, I am from davao too. so kabayan be strong and pray to GOD siya lang talaga ang makakatulong sa atin

[mrsartis 10]

Infairness, Pinataas ang Blood Pressure ko ng story mo sis.. yun lang...

[BRB 6]

This guy is not a man. He is 38 years old and still living with Mommy. If he lived close by I would go over there and punch him in the nose for you. Tell him you are going back home and that you thought you were marrying a man not some middle aged guy pretending he is still young and single. I don't see how his parents put up with it either. This guy is not worth the time of day. Keep us posted!!!!

[jOHnLei 0]

Thank You!

Its been awhile since my last post, was able to read all your response. Thank you for expressing your advice and sympathy that in some way it made me feel better. It made me realize also that I need more myself to love before the other half. Id like to say that your posts guys made me stonger and that I need this marriage to work and not just sit and cry in one corner and that i need to do things that will make him realize also my worth.

Recent news that i heard from him is the friend is in prison now for 6months. Dont know exactly why but she has ticket of driving without license, used other names and others. As of today we are bit fine however, i can sense that his treatment with me has been changed differently he doesnt greet me in the morning or even kiss me. I could careless, if he treats me that way fine.

Again Thank you....

[charlie&pam 1]

Thank You!

Its been awhile since my last post, was able to read all your response. Thank you for expressing your advice and sympathy that in some way it made me feel better. It made me realize also that I need more myself to love before the other half. Id like to say that your posts guys made me stonger and that I need this marriage to work and not just sit and cry in one corner and that i need to do things that will make him realize also my worth.

Recent news that i heard from him is the friend is in prison now for 6months. Dont know exactly why but she has ticket of driving without license, used other names and others. As of today we are bit fine however, i can sense that his treatment with me has been changed differently he doesnt greet me in the morning or even kiss me. I could careless, if he treats me that way fine.

Again Thank you....

sorry to hear that sounds like what my exwife used to do that is why she is an ex!!!.......try as hard as you can only you will know when it is over or it can be salvaged .....My heart goes out to you