The cat rant and rave

[FortLaudy 10]

I'm glad to see that you're not afraid to be honest and come clean, lol. I realize that it's exciting to bring a new wife from a far away country who is exquisitely beautiful and young and you want to show her off and have this idea in your mind that everything will be perfect. But you have to realize that a lot of peole will look at your situation from an objective point of view and not through such rose-coloured glasses and will make observations that you might not like... It's like how your parents/friends warn you not to date a certain girl when you're a teenager... you're in love/lust so you see no fault in that person, but someone else sees things completely different.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I'm glad to see that you're not afraid to be honest and come clean, lol. I realize that it's exciting to bring a new wife from a far away country who is exquisitely beautiful and young and you want to show her off and have this idea in your mind that everything will be perfect. But you have to realize that a lot of peole will look at your situation from an objective point of view and not through such rose-coloured glasses and will make observations that you might not like... It's like how your parents/friends warn you not to date a certain girl when you're a teenager... you're in love/lust so you see no fault in that person, but someone else sees things completely different.

Oh Iv'e already heard it...from co workers, friends, and family. It's a 50-50 split (consensus with all of them) on whether it's going to work out or not. I'm not completely clueless....I know it's rolling the dice. The only way I could know what her real intentions are is by reading her mind. Women can lie way better than guys...my ex and a few other gf's were artist in that regard. So ya, if it does go for the long run I'm beating the odds.

It's even worse though when I'm in Belarus. People see us together....especially older Belarusians and they look at her like she's some kind of wh*re. She doesn't get those looks in Minsk...which is a large city...she gets them in the smaller city's like the one she lives in. Ya, it's definitely going to be an uphill battle.

[FortLaudy 10]

Oh Iv'e already heard it...from co workers, friends, and family. It's a 50-50 split (consensus with all of them) on whether it's going to work out or not. I'm not completely clueless....I know it's rolling the dice. The only way I could know what her real intentions are is by reading her mind. Women can lie way better than guys...my ex and a few other gf's were artist in that regard. So ya, if it does go for the long run I'm beating the odds.

It's even worse though when I'm in Belarus. People see us together....especially older Belarusians and they look at her like she's some kind of wh*re. She doesn't get those looks in Minsk...which is a large city...she gets them in the smaller city's like the one she lives in. Ya, it's definitely going to be an uphill battle.

That's very sad.

But whether people like to admit it or not... this is how society in general act and think. They see two people who don't "look right" together and they judge and stare.

[FortLaudy 10]

This has gone way off topic again, lol !!!

I know even if you marry someone that's here already legally or a USC you never know what their "intentions" will be and if they'll clean you out or cheat on you or whatever else, but wouldn't you have a heckofa lot more peace of mind if you take the GC out of the equation?

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

This has gone way off topic again, lol !!!

I know even if you marry someone that's here already legally or a USC you never know what their "intentions" will be and if they'll clean you out or cheat on you or whatever else, but wouldn't you have a heckofa lot more peace of mind if you take the GC out of the equation?

Your correct. I mean after reading some of the horror story's on this board from guys in the same situation as mine I have more and more doubts...whether they are justified or not has yet to be seen. I mean I didn't go into this searching for a younger chick...wife..whatever. I didn't even bother to read her profile to find out her age, country, etc... but I do think economics..and of course the "GC" does play into a lot of these foreign spouse marriages...probably mine also....not sure yet though until she receives the GC. She hasn't done/said anything to make me think anything other than she's in love...but then again I could be seeing everything with rose colored glasses.

OK, one more story in regards to the age difference and me being an American, her a Belarusian...etc, etc... (I'm bored).

The first time I was in Belarus I rented an apt. for a month in Minsk...large city, easy to find an online apt. in that city to rent beforehand....night clubs, restaurants, casino's, stores, etc.... So anyways it didn't dawn on me why she insisted we stay in Minsk....until after I got there. She took a month off of work...vetinary clinic so that we had every day with each other to feel out the situation....or something like that. So anyways we go to her hometown (50 min. bus ride from Minsk) to meet her family. Once we get to her hometown we stop at the grocery store to get some booze, a cake, pastry's...etc... So anyways while we were waiting in line at the Bakery counter there was a few old women behind us giving us the "look". These old Belarusian women are like real b*tches....just about all of them over there when it comes to one of their own marrying a westerner. So these two old women say something to each other in Russian, and Kira (fiancee at the time) looks back at them and gives them "the look". So now I start to realize that whatever these old hags said..it was something bad, and something about us. Being the typical Alaskan arsehole that I am, I tell Kira to ask the gal working the bakery counter to give us two of every pastry in the case. Kira says don't do this.....that few Belarusians can afford to do this, and that I am going to draw attention to us and it won't be good. That and everyone in her hometown knows each other...and they talk. So I tell the counter gal (with hand signals) to give me two of every pastry...then I tell Kira it's my money and I will buy what I want to. So Kira tells the store worker to start loading up the pastry's. It came to like three full bags of pastry's...more than I could ever eat...but I did this to be an ####### to these old Belarusian b*tches. While Kira is explaining to the counter chick on what to get, I look back at these old women, look at Kira's #######, then look back and them and "grin an evil grin". LOL...#### em is what I say.

So when we leave the store and get around the corner....Kira reaches up and grabs my ear and then twist it until my eyes start to water with pain. She then says in that low voice of hers with that Belarusian accent that "if I ever do that again she will slice my throat with a dull knife"....and I think she was serious.

But anyways just another adventure for me.....

[Martyshk 137]

So when we leave the store and get around the corner....Kira reaches up and grabs my ear and then twist it until my eyes start to water with pain. She then says in that low voice of hers with that Belarusian accent that "if I ever do that again she will slice my throat with a dull knife"....and I think she was serious.

But anyways just another adventure for me.....

There's certain cultural differences that are kinda hard to understand for people from U.S. This is one of those.

Oh and yeah, she might have been serious too, so careful :-P

When it comes to "marrying a westerner/foreigner"...eh....it's a whole lot of a big deal there. I mean I am by no means a foreigner, but my fiancee's friends (her family is quite OK with our situation because we all know each other), well, some of her friends, are quite skeptical and bitchy about the whole thing.

You'll be fine once she's here. Sounds like you guys will have a lot of fun and your days will never be dull. That's good sh!t!

Good luck to you

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

There's certain cultural differences that are kinda hard to understand for people from U.S. This is one of those.

Oh and yeah, she might have been serious too, so careful :-P

When it comes to "marrying a westerner/foreigner"...eh....it's a whole lot of a big deal there. I mean I am by no means a foreigner, but my fiancee's friends (her family is quite OK with our situation because we all know each other), well, some of her friends, are quite skeptical and bitchy about the whole thing.

You'll be fine once she's here. Sounds like you guys will have a lot of fun and your days will never be dull. That's good sh!t!

Good luck to you

Thank you!

The funny thing is...here in Alaska nobody gives two sh*ts about age difference...being a foreigner (especially Russia), etc... Here in Alaska we have the highest Russian, Ukrainian, Belarsusian population per capita in the US. Granted most of the Russians here are "Old Faith Russians"...they came to Alaska in the 1700's when Alaska was still a part of Russia, but we have a lot of new Russian, Uks, Belarusians....etc... ...and they don't get along with the old faith Russians...not exactly sure what that's all about...but oh well. Orthodox Christmas here is a big deal.

There's little or no real hang ups here in Alaska. It's a free nature type of place. Her family and friends are totally cool (happy) about us getting married. Super nice people, great to party with...and unlike my family and friends...they have class and manors. I don't see any problems when she gets here....it's when we go back to visit Belarus and have to dodge the old Belarusian "Babushka's" that were going to get "the look".

Edited January 2, 2010 by Why_Me

[Ban Hammer 13,342]

ah quit complaining, nessa's cat cost us $750 to bring from brazil.

[slim 1,525]

I've always (secretly) liked the few times that my husband has stood up to me and stood his ground on something. For willful women it builds respect.

Be careful you don't say that too loud. Some of these "submissive" types might hear you.

....then again she's a veterinarian.

Iv'e sent her enough money

I am worried that she's going to be a major b*tch when she gets here.

So, she's a veterinarian but you still sent her money?

I realize things like washing machines cost a lot of money in Belarus but you have to realize that you've already set the bar for her to live beyond her means. And it seems like she already knows how to keep it going. I'm not going to sugar-coat it and say you should try to make her happy, I'm going to say you should tell her exactly what her "allowance" is going to be when she gets here and exactly what her "duties" will be as well.

If she's going to be making $17/hour, she should be more than self-sufficient and she should also have no problems paying her own bills and taking care of mom back home. Don't sell out and say, "Sure, we can send your mom $1,000 this month." Bump that noise. If she wants to send mom $1,000, she can work til she has the money and then send it herself.

All too often I see on here a woman who comes over with NOTHING and expects to pull that "well we're married now so we should work together as a team" BS and what she really means is "while you're out working, I'll do my part to spend all of our money on whatever I want."

Don't fall into that. If the arrangement is you pay for stuff and she plays her part - fine. But, if the arrangement is "we're a happily married couple" then make her pull her own weight. That deadpan b!tch stuff is kind of sexy at first - but it gets old real quick.

Ok, I'm going to come clean. I lied on that other post

Ya, so anyways she know's I'm lying my ####### off about reading her profile.

So to make a long story short...I figure if I get screwed over this time (was married before...right after highschool) , it's going to be by someone half my age and with a sexy accent.

To paraphrase an awesome movie, "There's nothing wrong with beginning a relatinship on a lie... after all, that's where most of them end up anyway."

And you've got it right, if it's going to be a sh!tty relationship, might as well be a sh!tty relationship with hot little number.

She then says in that low voice of hers with that Belarusian accent that "if I ever do that again she will slice my throat with a dull knife"....and I think she was serious.

She very well may have been. See, there's the flip side of that b!tchiness - the side that lets you know you'll never have to worry about her and also reinforces the fact that she can take care of herself, even without you.

What I'd like to see (and what I'm constantly reminding my wife) is that same woman who can slice someone's throat figure out how to get her own f'king cat overseas. They're so tough in some circumstances and completely f'king lost in others. Remind her of the connection between the two.

I'll go ahead and put this out there too because you'll probably see it soon - when she pouts like a 6-year-old after not getting her way, remind her of that woman who'll cut someone's throat. She'll want to cut your throat, but eventually she'll start to realize that you call her out on it every single time and are no longer being sucked into her bullsh!t. Eventually she'll stop pouting and that throat-slicer will start taking care of business.

ah quit complaining, nessa's cat cost us $750 to bring from brazil.

I bet she barely thinks of that cat anymore now that you've blessed her with that more expensive companion that constanlty needs food and diaper changes.

********************************************************************************

*****

This whole thread just reminded me of that scene from The Boondock Saints when Rocco is so p!ssed off at his girlfriend - "I'll shoot myself in the head if you can remember that f'king cat's name!"

That's about the same level of frustration we get when it comes to cats and other related situations.

********************************************************************************

******

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Be careful you don't say that too loud. Some of these "submissive" types might hear you.

So, she's a veterinarian but you still sent her money?

I realize things like washing machines cost a lot of money in Belarus but you have to realize that you've already set the bar for her to live beyond her means. And it seems like she already knows how to keep it going. I'm not going to sugar-coat it and say you should try to make her happy, I'm going to say you should tell her exactly what her "allowance" is going to be when she gets here and exactly what her "duties" will be as well.

If she's going to be making $17/hour, she should be more than self-sufficient and she should also have no problems paying her own bills and taking care of mom back home. Don't sell out and say, "Sure, we can send your mom $1,000 this month." Bump that noise. If she wants to send mom $1,000, she can work til she has the money and then send it herself.

All too often I see on here a woman who comes over with NOTHING and expects to pull that "well we're married now so we should work together as a team" BS and what she really means is "while you're out working, I'll do my part to spend all of our money on whatever I want."

Don't fall into that. If the arrangement is you pay for stuff and she plays her part - fine. But, if the arrangement is "we're a happily married couple" then make her pull her own weight. That deadpan b!tch stuff is kind of sexy at first - but it gets old real quick.

To paraphrase an awesome movie, "There's nothing wrong with beginning a relatinship on a lie... after all, that's where most of them end up anyway."

And you've got it right, if it's going to be a sh!tty relationship, might as well be a sh!tty relationship with hot little number.

She very well may have been. See, there's the flip side of that b!tchiness - the side that lets you know you'll never have to worry about her and also reinforces the fact that she can take care of herself, even without you.

What I'd like to see (and what I'm constantly reminding my wife) is that same woman who can slice someone's throat figure out how to get her own f'king cat overseas. They're so tough in some circumstances and completely f'king lost in others. Remind her of the connection between the two.

I'll go ahead and put this out there too because you'll probably see it soon - when she pouts like a 6-year-old after not getting her way, remind her of that woman who'll cut someone's throat. She'll want to cut your throat, but eventually she'll start to realize that you call her out on it every single time and are no longer being sucked into her bullsh!t. Eventually she'll stop pouting and that throat-slicer will start taking care of business.

I bet she barely thinks of that cat anymore now that you've blessed her with that more expensive companion that constanlty needs food and diaper changes.

********************************************************************************

*****

This whole thread just reminded me of that scene from The Boondock Saints when Rocco is so p!ssed off at his girlfriend - "I'll shoot myself in the head if you can remember that f'king cat's name!"

That's about the same level of frustration we get when it comes to cats and other related situations.

********************************************************************************

******

She already knows just how far her bs goes with me. We go ####### for tat in the "who's gonna run the show dept."

She has her moments where she can be a total b*tch, and I haven't actually been a saint myself.

First trip there her girl friend (who I had spoken with on skype) was coming to Minsk to stay with us for a few days. So anyways Kira says to me that I should sleep on the couch while her friend "Maryna" visits so it doesn't look like were screwing each others brains out. This was right after week #1. So I say to Kira...I'm not going to sleep on the couch bed (I'm 6'4") and there's no damn way I'm spending two nights on that thing. So Kira starts to argue the point...as usual...meh... So I say to her...np, I will just stay a few nights at the Planeta (hotel, casino, night club, strip joint all in one nice hotel), and that way Kira doesn't look like a bad girl and I get a real bed. When I said that she got this twisted look on her face and I could see the wheels turning inside her little cunning Rus head. This was one chess match I couldn't lose. Either I get to sleep in a real bed at the apt I'm paying for, or I get to stay at the Planeta hotel which is full of super hot chicks (most of them sharks, but who cares). So after a few minutes of thinking this over she gives in and says no way am I going to stay at the hotel, and that she will have a talk with Maryna so that she doesn't tell Kira's family that were sleeping together. I was kind of hoping she told me to take the hotel...but seeing how we had visited the night club there already I didn't think she would really go for that one anyways.

There were other instances over there...like when she bought god only knows how much caviar for our wedding and lied about the price of it...that one cost me a mint. Or when she packed my bags over there and told me to take the next plane out after her cousin, and godfather took me on an "after the wedding bachelors night out" and we didn't make it back to town until the next evening.

But ya, Rus women can cut your guts out without blinking an eye and feed them to you, but you have to admit they are by far the hottest looking women on this planet...bar none. Kira says it's due to the "lack of iodine in their diet" that they all look so hot. If that's really the case, then American women should really lay off the iodine in their food.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I told her to do the same thing...bribe the Ukrainians at the airport. She's checking into Ukrainian International Airlines gait in Kyiv. I greased the Belarusian at the airport last time I was there...the one that scans the baggage so that I could get an extra 3 bottles of tequila with me(visitors are only allowed to bring one bottle of booze with them). The cat's good to go on all the flights...it's already booked, the flight that is screwing me is the one from Kyiv to Paris.

use local currency. 50-100 Hryvinia ought to do the trick, about 8-15 dollars at the current exchange.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

LOL. The hotness factor is WAY up there in the stratosphere, no doubt...but I never heard the iodine explanation.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Oh Iv'e already heard it...from co workers, friends, and family. It's a 50-50 split (consensus with all of them) on whether it's going to work out or not. I'm not completely clueless....I know it's rolling the dice. The only way I could know what her real intentions are is by reading her mind. Women can lie way better than guys...my ex and a few other gf's were artist in that regard. So ya, if it does go for the long run I'm beating the odds.

It's even worse though when I'm in Belarus. People see us together....especially older Belarusians and they look at her like she's some kind of wh*re. She doesn't get those looks in Minsk...which is a large city...she gets them in the smaller city's like the one she lives in. Ya, it's definitely going to be an uphill battle.

I never had this experience in Ukraine. The only people here that seem to "mind" is American women. At first Alla is a curiosity and then when they find she isn't "visiting" and that her husband isn't "also a refugee from Russia" they seem to get p*ssed off and give her the cold shoulder. She has lots of other Russian speaking girlfreinds here, they come out of the woodwork! Who knew there were so many...they represent at least 93% of attractive women in Vermont as it turns out!

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

I'm glad to see that you're not afraid to be honest and come clean, lol. I realize that it's exciting to bring a new wife from a far away country who is exquisitely beautiful and young and you want to show her off and have this idea in your mind that everything will be perfect. But you have to realize that a lot of peole will look at your situation from an objective point of view and not through such rose-coloured glasses and will make observations that you might not like... It's like how your parents/friends warn you not to date a certain girl when you're a teenager... you're in love/lust so you see no fault in that person, but someone else sees things completely different.

Horsesqueeze. seeing someone as a #######, #######, golddigger or GC junky is not objective. It is just as stereotyped and blind as blindly falling in love with someone you proposed to in the third email.

His chance of success are the same as he would have with any other woman if he and she are willing to work at it.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Be careful you don't say that too loud. Some of these "submissive" types might hear you.

So, she's a veterinarian but you still sent her money?

I realize things like washing machines cost a lot of money in Belarus but you have to realize that you've already set the bar for her to live beyond her means. And it seems like she already knows how to keep it going. I'm not going to sugar-coat it and say you should try to make her happy, I'm going to say you should tell her exactly what her "allowance" is going to be when she gets here and exactly what her "duties" will be as well.

If she's going to be making $17/hour, she should be more than self-sufficient and she should also have no problems paying her own bills and taking care of mom back home. Don't sell out and say, "Sure, we can send your mom $1,000 this month." Bump that noise. If she wants to send mom $1,000, she can work til she has the money and then send it herself.

All too often I see on here a woman who comes over with NOTHING and expects to pull that "well we're married now so we should work together as a team" BS and what she really means is "while you're out working, I'll do my part to spend all of our money on whatever I want."

Don't fall into that. If the arrangement is you pay for stuff and she plays her part - fine. But, if the arrangement is "we're a happily married couple" then make her pull her own weight. That deadpan b!tch stuff is kind of sexy at first - but it gets old real quick.

To paraphrase an awesome movie, "There's nothing wrong with beginning a relatinship on a lie... after all, that's where most of them end up anyway."

And you've got it right, if it's going to be a sh!tty relationship, might as well be a sh!tty relationship with hot little number.

She very well may have been. See, there's the flip side of that b!tchiness - the side that lets you know you'll never have to worry about her and also reinforces the fact that she can take care of herself, even without you.

What I'd like to see (and what I'm constantly reminding my wife) is that same woman who can slice someone's throat figure out how to get her own f'king cat overseas. They're so tough in some circumstances and completely f'king lost in others. Remind her of the connection between the two.

I'll go ahead and put this out there too because you'll probably see it soon - when she pouts like a 6-year-old after not getting her way, remind her of that woman who'll cut someone's throat. She'll want to cut your throat, but eventually she'll start to realize that you call her out on it every single time and are no longer being sucked into her bullsh!t. Eventually she'll stop pouting and that throat-slicer will start taking care of business.

I bet she barely thinks of that cat anymore now that you've blessed her with that more expensive companion that constanlty needs food and diaper changes.

********************************************************************************

*****

This whole thread just reminded me of that scene from The Boondock Saints when Rocco is so p!ssed off at his girlfriend - "I'll shoot myself in the head if you can remember that f'king cat's name!"

That's about the same level of frustration we get when it comes to cats and other related situations.

********************************************************************************

******

Who ARE these women Y'all are marrying? I never have these probems. what gives? Are Ukrainians that much better?