The cat rant and rave

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Hi Mrs Cat,

I agree, we only have the one side of the story. Perhaps the OP can tell us if he has asked her to help make the arrangements for the cat. Did he say he would make the flight arrangements for her? Does the payment have to happen at the same time as booking a flight and if so, does she have access to a credit card to make these arrangements? Does she have telephone or internet access to international sites to find out about layovers, and connecting flights? Is she legally able to make the changes of flights that would be necessary and pay for them when the changes occur? There are a lot of questions unanswered. If she has the wherewithal and the means to make the flight and connections arrangements, then yes, she could certainly do so. If she doesn't - or if he has told her he is making the arrangements - then she is telling him what arrangements need to be made and he needs to accommodate those. If he is frustrated with doing so, then he needs to ask her if she would take on the responsibility for the cat. I don't get the impression from his post that he has except for just recently while she had family commitments. It sounds like he made the arrangements - didn't ask her to - until he ran into problems about booking the cat through on connecting flights. It would be hard for her to step into the process part way through of booking, rebooking, changing and re-organizing flights - especially if she hasn't had much experience in booking international flights.

And yes, outside of booking a vehicle large enough to accommodate our cats, I was the one who made sure they were ready to travel and looked for overnight accommodation that accepted pets. I also gave Joe instructions about what he needed to do at his end to prepare for the cats arrival. She should definitely be the one making sure that the cat is ready to travel.

Good points. I forgot she doesn't have a visa card....I don't even think Belarusians have those tbh. And yes I did get a bit p*ssed off when I found out the cat couldn't fly with her the way I did the bookings...my fault I guess.

I do like the cat...well I don't dislike it. In fact here's a little story for ya when I was there last time. .....All the apts. over there have these "roofed over balcony's"...which is good if your a smoker like myself. Her apt. is on the second floor so it was much easier to go out on the balcony to smoke then to go out the building and get the scary mean stares from the old women who sit on the benches outside the apts. So anyways that cat loves to sit on the window seal on the balcony and get some fresh air while it's staring at the birds on the birch trees outside the apt. She told me never to leave the cat in the balcony with the window open if I wasn't there to watch it for the fact she was afraid this cat was going to jump out the window and go for the birds. When she was at work one day, I left that cat out there and shut the door to the balcony. I go back out there a little later on to have a smoke and there was no cat. I'm freaking out now. I look out the window and I see a snow white cat in one of those birch tree's...it looks identical to her cat so I know I'm screwed. I go outside and start climbing the tree after this cat while these old women are looking at me like I'm some kind of American freak or something. The cat jumps over to the next tree and climbs down and then starts running. After I reach under several cars in the parking lot to try and grab this cat...it booked like real fast around the next apt. building and I lost sight of it. So now I know I'm f*cked. I'm trying to think of how I am going to explain this one to her when she gets home from work. I go back inside the apt. and to the bedroom to find her work # so I can call her at work and explain what happened. When I turn around to leave the bedroom I see about 2" of white cat tail sticking out of my suite case on the bedroom floor. I open up the suite case and it's her cat...it likes to go inside bags, boxes, cupboards, etc...anything dark. I forgot the balcony had a window going to the kitchen and this is what that cat had done. All along I was chasing the wrong cat, not to mention my pants were destroyed. I didn't tell her what happened in regards to the cat until right before I flew out. Safer that way.

Here's a pic of the villian...she's costing me more than what I paid for my wide screen TV....

[lgg 2]

Hey MrsCat...

I agree with you on this 100% I'm bringing my cat with me too -- I love her to bits and though my husband is not nuts about cats at all, he would NEVER make me choose or ask me to leave her behind. As it is though, I am responsible for the cost and effort of getting her here as duh... I am an adult and can and will take care of all my own business.

And i read this post the same way too -- he's a guy, like yours and mine, who's not wild about cats but just wants a hand in perhaps dealing with the whole situation... .

You said it perfectly, MrsCat... you really did.

To the OP, good luck to you and I think you should stand up to your wife and tell her to figure out some stuff to in order to lay the foundation of what you may be able to do to help... that's what a relationship is about, no?

Good luck... hope wife and kitty make it home okay...

^ I read his post last night, and felt the same way as you Kathryn. And honestly, I am sure if she posted about this, my mind would change again too. But we only have his side, and while sounds harsh, I think he sounds like a husband whose just fed up.

I read the post again this morning and felt completely different. If the cat is so important to her, than she should be the primary person making the arrangements to get it here safely. I love my cats and did not want to see them left behind. I also did not want to make them my husband's burden, because he quite frankly doesn't like cats all that much. He never would have expected me to leave them, but I also felt it was my responsibility to care for my pets as I always have. I wouldn't have trusted anyone to make arrangements for my pets other than myself. That way I could ask all the questions I needed to about their care, transferring planes, medication etc.

Of course this is a one-sided post and we don't have her side, but it doesn't sound like she really gives two craps about her cat, since she hasn't made much of an effort to figure out what is needed, how to arrange care between flights, ensures that the costs are accounted for, arranges a pet examine prior to leaving. . . . . . .

I wasn't reading his post necessarily that he expects her to leave the cat behind rather he wants her to take some initiative. Maybe I read it wrong.

[MrsCat 6]

Well sh!t with a face like that, how could you leave it behind?!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

LOL! I LOVE that story about chasing the wrong cat! It's a good thing that you didn't catch it, hehehehe. Smart cat to find a way back into the apartment . Actually, she is a very pretty cat.

We had a white cat while I was growing up, named Tinker. He used to sleep on top of the TV, and as he got more comfortable would start to stretch out - until he fell off the tv. He would then look around to see who had noticed and start to wash his paws nonchalantly, as if to say 'I meant to do that!". He never fooled anyone and we used to laugh at him.

Good luck at making all of the arrangements for the cat - I hope the travel plans go smoothly and your new 'family' arrives safe and sound.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

maybe. My wife brought a cat and a dog. We really had no problems flying Aerosvit Kiev-JFK non-stop. we had to pay $150 for each animal, a small bribe at the Kiev airport for the customs people to overlook some made up regulations (we complied with the real regulations, health checks etc., but of course the customs people made up a couple new ones to shake us down for a bribe) But other than that, no problem.

One thing to check is the domestic regulations for flying with animals. Some US airlines do not allows animals on board at all anymore for domestic flights.

Belarus, Like Ukraine, has a fair amount, even predominant Catholic population in some areas and therefore celbrate the Dec 25 (Gregorian calendar) Christmas and also the Jan. 7th (Julian Calender) Christmas. However in Ukraine and I suspect in Belarus also, the New Year's holidy is THE big day unless a person is particularly religious. Yes the holidays in RUB get dragged out and it is difficult to get much if any business done between about the 23rd of December and Jan. 10th or so (Three days to sober up). I learned to "do as the Romans" and lighten up during the December/January holidays and also the May holidays. Fighting it is only frustrating.

I told her to do the same thing...bribe the Ukrainians at the airport. She's checking into Ukrainian International Airlines gait in Kyiv. I greased the Belarusian at the airport last time I was there...the one that scans the baggage so that I could get an extra 3 bottles of tequila with me(visitors are only allowed to bring one bottle of booze with them). The cat's good to go on all the flights...it's already booked, the flight that is screwing me is the one from Kyiv to Paris.

[FortLaudy 10]

I know you hate me but If I was you, come hell or high water I would get that cat over here, safely, that's if you want to have any hopes of keeping this lady... trust me, the cat is way more important than you, suck it up and accept it, the cat was in her life before you. If you don't have pets you won't understand the attachment that can grow... This is a good test in her eyes to see how far you'll go to make her happy and how much money you're willing to spend on her (the cat is part of her), you start being stingy now and complaining about things like this that's so important to her it shows that you care very little about her needs, but only about your own, and if you have more dough than her to pay for this then you should.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I know you hate me but If I was you, come hell or high water I would get that cat over here, safely, that's if you want to have any hopes of keeping this lady... trust me, the cat is way more important than you, suck it up and accept it, the cat was in her life before you. If you don't have pets you won't understand the attachment that can grow... This is a good test in her eyes to see how far you'll go to make her happy and how much money you're willing to spend on her (the cat is part of her), you start being stingy now and complaining about things like this that's so important to her it shows that you care very little about her needs, but only about your own, and if you have more dough than her to pay for this then you should.

I don't hate you. You actually made some valid points in your previous post on other threads, and it had me thinking "did I get married for the wrong reasons". I think you touched a nerve. Only time will tell....

But ya your correct, I need to get this cat here or I'm never going to live it down. In fact I would be surprised if she came over if her cat didn't. I'm going to rebook the flight....I just hope she knows that by doing this, her shopping spree for clothes that we had planned when she arrives isn't going to be done at Nordstrom's.....

[Martyshk 137]

I just hope she knows that by doing this, her shopping spree for clothes that we had planned when she arrives isn't going to be done at Nordstrom's.....

It shouldn't be done at Nordstrom's anyway :-P

But yeah, seems like you vented a bit, got people's opinions and advice and you're on the right track now.

Good luck!

[FortLaudy 10]

I don't hate you. You actually made some valid points in your previous post on other threads, and it had me thinking "did I get married for the wrong reasons". I think you touched a nerve. Only time will tell....

But ya your correct, I need to get this cat here or I'm never going to live it down. In fact I would be surprised if she came over if her cat didn't. I'm going to rebook the flight....I just hope she knows that by doing this, her shopping spree for clothes that we had planned when she arrives isn't going to be done at Nordstrom's.....

She won't come over without the cat, trust me... My husband and I have 3 dogs, I had 2 and he had one before we got married... those dogs will go with us everywhere, even if we end up moving to Europe one day, it's an attachment that's hard to explain to anyone that doesn't have pets. Remember that cat was there to comfort her on her lonely nights before she had a man in her life, so were my dogs to me, and my husband's dog to him before I came along.

My husband's is a Siberian Husky... beautiful dog, but I don't particularly like big dogs, and she sheds like a mofo (I specifically picked my dogs cause they don't shed and they're small)... this dog is so smart she can open anything and get into everything, she's broken tons of our ####### and the other day she escaped and killed two ducklings along with their mom... I can write a book on the ####### she's done.... but one thing I know for sure.. this dog came with my husband, it's a package deal and he loves this dog and this dog was in his life for 5 years before he met me so she aint going anywhere and I have to suck it up and clean the hair and break up the fights at the dogpark and deal with it because I love my husband and he loves the dog end of story.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I'm convinced all Rus women are hung up, but there are varying levels. My wife had a veritable zoo back home and the only thing she brought here was a big bag full of cosmetics. I didn't "offer" to help and she knew better than to ask. We did get two kittens shortly after she started working but one got really sick over the summer. Her answer, "just shoot this cat and bury her. We will be buy new cat."

I complied with that part but the whole "will be buy new cat" thing I kind of forgot about. That is, til early last month when we were short on the rent again and a new $100 kitten showed up at our house. "####### is that thing?" I asked. "Don't worry about it." She replied. "I'm not worried about that little cat at all, I'm just wondering how he's going to help us pay the f'king rent."

LMFAO!

[FortLaudy 10]

I don't hate you. You actually made some valid points in your previous post on other threads, and it had me thinking "did I get married for the wrong reasons". I think you touched a nerve. Only time will tell....

About that, well one of my new year's resolutions is to be nicer on VJ

People need to just be a little more honest about their intentions and say it like it is instead of blaming half the population of the US for being unsuitable for marriage, that's the part that offends me and I go on the attack. I do think some people on here need a little eye opener and are making foolish decisions, but rather than generalize and criticize I will STFU and try to give positive advice instead.

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

About that, well one of my new year's resolutions is to be nicer on VJ

People need to just be a little more honest about their intentions and say it like it is instead of blaming half the population of the US for being unsuitable for marriage, that's the part that offends me and I go on the attack. I do think some people on here need a little eye opener and are making foolish decisions, but rather than generalize and criticize I will STFU and try to give positive advice instead.

Ok, I'm going to come clean. I lied on that other post about the age difference. It's nineteen years.....not thirteen years. And here's the bad part....like how we met. I came home from a Christmas party and I was totally plowed (drunk). I checked my emails...couldn't sleep, and no beer in the fridge...so anyways I had one a myspace email/message. I find out it's one of those bogus ones...you can always tell by the pic..etc...and before I log out I notice it shows like a dozen people online. So I see her profile pic and send her a message...forget what it was, but it was something like; "hello, you have a nice profile". It gets worse though. I didn't check out her profile( age. country, etc..), and I didn't notice she was from a differen't country. So after trading a few emails with her we end up talking on skype. I notice she has an accent and I ask her what country she came to the USA from. That one didn't go over too well. She asked me if I even read her profile and not just looked at her pic...and of course I lied. So then she asked me what I knew of "Belarus". So while I'm stalling her on skype...I'm doing a quick google search of Belarus and reading up on it on wikipedia. Ya, so anyways she know's I'm lying my ####### off about reading her profile.

So after talking every day on skype for a few months...in that time we decide to meet up and check each other out in person. Iv'e been to Europe a few times before that, and even worked in Russia as a welder on Sakhalin Island back in early 2001. But Belarus is like a total commie country and it's like stuck in a time warp. So anyways after we spend a month living together and getting engaged I fly back over there for another month and we have like a three day wedding bash with live band, etc...all the works. Her family is great...although a few of them have drinking problems. Hunting and fishing trip at her family's dacha consisted of a few hours of hunting...the rest of the time it was in the banya and/or drinking vodka and home made wine.

So to make a long story short...I figure if I get screwed over this time (was married before...right after highschool) , it's going to be by someone half my age and with a sexy accent.

[visaveteran 1]

I personally dislike all pets at this stage of my life. Why do humans live with dirty animals INSIDE the home breathing hair and dander and who knows what? And it's a real joy when the animal has to go outside in bad weather, then come back inside soaking wet with dirt and mud. And I've never met an animal yet that did not make a "mistake" inside the home from time to time. Nice.

And cats, the worst. We've all walked into a house for sale and got knocked over by the infamous smell of cat pee.

If I were you...I'd have informed her that you're highly allergic to cats. End of problem.

[FortLaudy 10]

I personally dislike all pets at this stage of my life. Why do humans live with dirty animals INSIDE the home breathing hair and dander and who knows what? And it's a real joy when the animal has to go outside in bad weather, then come back inside soaking wet with dirt and mud. And I've never met an animal yet that did not make a "mistake" inside the home from time to time. Nice.

And cats, the worst. We've all walked into a house for sale and got knocked over by the infamous smell of cat pee.

If I were you...I'd have informed her that you're highly allergic to cats. End of problem.

You have a good point!! Growing up we had a lot of dogs, but they stayed outside so I never had to deal with a big mess. When I moved here by myself to attend college I had a little apartment with just a balcony when I decided to get my 2 mutts... bad decision because of exactly what you're describing - the mess. So I ended up moving to a townhouse with a yard, the dogs have the downstairs except for the lounge and they go outside through a doggy door, we live a few blocks from a great dog park and we take them every day so we have no problems anymore, but you definetely have to live your life around them and sometimes they keep you stuck as you can't travel without finding a place or friend to take care of them... Whenever someone asks me what type of dog they should get I tell them "no dog!", lol... but once they're in your life and weazelled their way into your heart there's just no getting rid of them and you learn to deal with it, I guess much like kids..

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

I personally dislike all pets at this stage of my life. Why do humans live with dirty animals INSIDE the home breathing hair and dander and who knows what? And it's a real joy when the animal has to go outside in bad weather, then come back inside soaking wet with dirt and mud. And I've never met an animal yet that did not make a "mistake" inside the home from time to time. Nice.

And cats, the worst. We've all walked into a house for sale and got knocked over by the infamous smell of cat pee.

If I were you...I'd have informed her that you're highly allergic to cats. End of problem.

Cat's are actually pretty clean...and low maintenance. My ex had two cats...she always brushed them out once a week...got them "fixed", shots, did the litter box every day, and even clipped their nails. It's the same with this cat. This cat gets like a daily maintenance from her and has it on a special diet...that cat only gets fed "Hills" brand cat food...doesn't come cheap...even in Belarus. In fact this cat is actually cleaner than some of the guys I work with....no surprise there.