The cat rant and rave

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

The guys at work are tired of hearing the cat drama, so I thought I would bless you all on here with the latest bs with the wifey and her cat. So here goes..... I purchased her a ticket through Expedia from Kyiv to Anchorage, Alaska via Paris and Chicago (POE). The flight from Kyiv to Paris is from Air France, but the flight is operated by Ukrainian International Airlines...Air France just bought some tickets from them for this flight. So the bright guy I am, I called Air France to make sure they allow cats, then I called Ukrainian International Airlines to make sure she could take the cat on board with her. What I failed to do was ask them both if it was ok for her to take the cat onboard if the ticket was through Air France on a flight operated by Ukrainian Airlines. Those two carriers don't have a agreement with them as far as on board animals go so I'm screwed for that flight as far as her taking the cat with her.

So then I find out that in order for her to fly the cat with her as far as Kyiv - Paris goes...I have to change tickets so that it shows a Ukrainian International Flight number, and not an Air France flight number. This not only cost me $250 for a flight penalty, but it takes one to two months to credit the money back to my visa along with purchasing another ticket. My other option is to fly the cat by itself via Lufthansa (Minsk - Chicago) for a grand total of $550 ...where she will meet up with the cat and then fly on up here to Alaska. She doesn't want the cat to fly by itself, but since I changed jobs due to lay off last year it's not like I'm rolling in the dough like I was before. When it comes to priority's...she puts this cat at the top of her list....somewhere with her family there and then I follow further down on the ladder. She treat's this f*cking cat like it's a god or something.

So anyways I'm supposed to change all this #######...flights, tickets, etc... this weekend so that the cat is booked to ride with her. But then I start thinking to myself....#### that cat. It's not that I have anything against her cat but again I'm not making the same bucks as I used to, and she's put like zero effort into making calls for this cat. Her last reason was that her family was having a big bash for New Years, and all her relatives from near the Polish border were driving in to see her one last time. The Belarusians not only celebrate Christmas and New Years on the Latin based calender, but they live it up again during Orthodox Christmas and New Years. It's like they can't party enough or some sh*t.

So what you say is my question...I really don't have one...I just feel like p*ssing and moaning atm. But if this cat of her's was to get hit by a car over there in the next few weeks it wouldn't break my heart.

Are all Rus women hung up on their cats and dogs or just my wife ?

Edited January 2, 2010 by Why_Me

[Calypso 464]

Loving cats is definitely not a racial issue. These felines were much revered in Egypt and are still valued highly in Japan, England, Thailand, and almost everywhere in the world as they were a company to the monarchs centuries ago. In fact, I have seen on TV last week that there was this Canadian millionaire who quit his job and built an "orphanage" for stray cats after his 12-year-old (?) cat died.

Do you feel better now after whining? Will it help your relationship with your woman? Have you told your woman about all the things you post here? You can always create whatever you aim to create but right now, it seems that you have decided to make this experience miserable than treating it calmly and objectively.

Hakuna matata.

God bless us all.

FAE

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Loving cats is definitely not a racial issue. These felines were much revered in Egypt and are still valued highly in Japan, England, Thailand, and almost everywhere in the world as they were a company to the monarchs centuries ago. In fact, I have seen on TV last week that there was this Canadian millionaire who quit his job and built an "orphanage" for stray cats after his 12-year-old (?) cat died.

Do you feel better now after whining? Will it help your relationship with your woman? Have you told your woman about all the things you post here? You can always create whatever you aim to create but right now, it seems that you have decided to make this experience miserable than treating it calmly and objectively.

Hakuna matata.

God bless us all.

FAE

Does my wife know I post on this forum you ask ? LOL...no way. If she read half my post on here she would lose it. This board is my temporary escape. And yes the cat already cost me over a $100 when I was there last time by destroying the crystal and cut glass wedding cake topper I brought over there for the wedding. This cat climbed like 9' to the top of a hutch at 1am in the morning while we were sleeping (Stalin apt. ceilings), and then proceeded to knock it off the top of the hutch like it was a cat toy or something.

But ya this thread is a release for me....or something like that.

[Calypso 464]

As what Cats 101 on Animal Planet has mentioned, cats were domesticated about 4, 000 years ago and unlike dogs, they haven't lost their wild side. Maybe your wife has a wild side, too, that's why she likes keeping a cat. Besides, I'm sure that you yourself have "things" that you can't live without. For some men, it may be football, Ferrari cars, tech gadgets, etc. For your wife, it's her cat.

Hakuna matata.

God bless us all.

FAE

[slim 1,523]

When it comes to priority's...she puts this cat at the top of her list....somewhere with her family there and then I follow further down on the ladder. She treat's this f*cking cat like it's a god or something.

So anyways I'm supposed to change all this #######...flights, tickets, etc... this weekend so that the cat is booked to ride with her. But then I start thinking to myself....#### that cat. It's not that I have anything against her cat but again I'm not making the same bucks as I used to, and she's put like zero effort into making calls for this cat.

Here's your golden opportunity to set the bar for the rest of your relationship "you want your cat to come here - you take care of it."

It's awful nice of you to be spending hundreds of extra dollars to ensure her cat can come here, especially when you could buy her a new one (or five) for less money than what you're shelling out. And, since she's being so helpful, that should indicate the future status of her dedication to spending on "necessities" that will eventually rear their ugly heads in your relationship.

While I'm all for "helping" her get her cat over here, I think you're setting yourself up to be the fall guy later. If you had the extra cash just sitting around, that'd be one thing, but what's going to happen is she's going to get here and you're going to be $500 short on something like, oh, the rent, and that cat's going to take a big old sh!t on the couch cushions just to rub it in your face. All the while she'll be telling you "you don't even care about me enough to take care of us." Us? #######?

...I just feel like p*ssing and moaning atm. But if this cat of her's was to get hit by a car over there in the next few weeks it wouldn't break my heart.

Are all Rus women hung up on their cats and dogs or just my wife ?

I'm convinced all Rus women are hung up, but there are varying levels. My wife had a veritable zoo back home and the only thing she brought here was a big bag full of cosmetics. I didn't "offer" to help and she knew better than to ask. We did get two kittens shortly after she started working but one got really sick over the summer. Her answer, "just shoot this cat and bury her. We will be buy new cat."

I complied with that part but the whole "will be buy new cat" thing I kind of forgot about. That is, til early last month when we were short on the rent again and a new $100 kitten showed up at our house. "####### is that thing?" I asked. "Don't worry about it." She replied. "I'm not worried about that little cat at all, I'm just wondering how he's going to help us pay the f'king rent."

So, there you go. They may not all hold onto their pets for dear life, but it seems like pets are more important than money. Unless they're real sick, then it's a lot cheaper to shoot them.

Good luck!

This board is my temporary escape.

But ya this thread is a release for me....or something like that.

My wife now understands VJ is my "confessional." She used to get all upset that I'd spend time on here and vent some of our "private" stuff and then I reminded her that it's the freakin internet. We have met a few people from here on VJ but since they've met both of us, I'm sure they understand why I post what I post.

Maybe your wife has a wild side, too, that's why she likes keeping a cat. Besides, I'm sure that you yourself have "things" that you can't live without. For some men, it may be football, Ferrari cars, tech gadgets, etc. For your wife, it's her cat.

Maybe I love my wife's wild cat so I keep her around.

[mox 298]

People can be very attached to their pets, and I don't think there's a problem with that. If it helps, think of her and her cat as a "package" deal. Her cat makes her very happy. You're not spending money to bring her cat, you're spending money to help her bring something that makes her very happy. Money is temporary, but the happiness her pet brings will pay for itself several times over.

We think nothing of dropping a couple thou on an engagement ring or new car to make our wives happy and maybe whip up a little domestic harmony while we're at it. This cost is really nothing different.

Good luck!

[shikarnov 7]

People can be very attached to their pets, and I don't think there's a problem with that. If it helps, think of her and her cat as a "package" deal. Her cat makes her very happy. You're not spending money to bring her cat, you're spending money to help her bring something that makes her very happy. Money is temporary, but the happiness her pet brings will pay for itself several times over.

We think nothing of dropping a couple thou on an engagement ring or new car to make our wives happy and maybe whip up a little domestic harmony while we're at it. This cost is really nothing different.

Good luck!

I agree with Mox. If you never had a pet before, it may be tough to understand. But after you live with one for a few years, you'll find that they really grow on you. When my wife and I were planning our migration to the US, leaving our cats behind in Russia was simply not an option. They're part of our family, and they're our responsibility. Yeah, it cost a pretty penny for their shots, documents, airline-authorized carriers, and plane tickets -- but I would have paid a lot more, in worries, if we were to leave them behind in Russia. I suspect your wife feels similarly, and that you will too after a time.

Edited January 2, 2010 by shikarnov

[MrsCat 6]

Here's your golden opportunity to set the bar for the rest of your relationship "you want your cat to come here - you take care of it."

It's awful nice of you to be spending hundreds of extra dollars to ensure her cat can come here, especially when you could buy her a new one (or five) for less money than what you're shelling out. And, since she's being so helpful, that should indicate the future status of her dedication to spending on "necessities" that will eventually rear their ugly heads in your relationship.

While I'm all for "helping" her get her cat over here, I think you're setting yourself up to be the fall guy later. If you had the extra cash just sitting around, that'd be one thing, but what's going to happen is she's going to get here and you're going to be $500 short on something like, oh, the rent, and that cat's going to take a big old sh!t on the couch cushions just to rub it in your face. All the while she'll be telling you "you don't even care about me enough to take care of us." Us? #######?

Agreed. If she gets angry about you mentioning that she should take care of it, then so be it. You could probably say it nicely, not "I hate your cat, leave him in Russia", or "the cat isn't worth $500".

I've always (secretly) liked the few times that my husband has stood up to me and stood his ground on something. For willful women it builds respect.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I'm going to step in and add my support to Mox' and shikarnov's posts. As a cat lover myself - and one who moved with 6 cats from Canada to the US - I can speak of the other side of the equation. To be very frank, as much as I love my husband, if he made me choose between him and my cats - I would chose my cats. The main reason would be because if he would ask me to make that choice, then he is not the man I thought he was and I would have to re-evaluate my whole relationship. Would I be willing to live with someone who I could not trust and rely on to understand my needs and the things that are important to me? Absolutely not.

For the well-being of your marriage, if you 'screw' your wife around with this at this stage of the relationship - failing to arrange for one of the most important things in her life to accompany her in the way she needs to have it happen in order to feel secure - how can she trust you in the rest of this marriage? This isn't about you right now - it is about her. You are only thinking it is about you. You are insisting that she must change who she is to meet what you want even though she is giving up her whole life, her family, her friends, her country to come here and join you. And you can't accommodate her need for her cat to come with her? You're lucky she doesn't read VJ because if she was reading your response she may very well start to re-evaluate your relationship as well.

A piece of advice - when a woman feels like her cat is part of her family, you need to think of it the same way. You wouldn't be acting like this (I hope) if this was her young child she was bringing with her - you need to start thinking of this cat in the same way. To her, it is not 'just a cat'. - it's family. If anything happened to that cat on an unaccompanied flight, she would be devastated and blame you for the rest of your life. Do you really want to run that risk to your happiness? To her happiness?

It doesn't really matter if you agree with her about this or not. This is an opportunity to set the tone for the rest of your marriage. You can choose to support her in getting her cat safely to the US or you can choose to butt heads with her about this. If you insist on having your own way without considering her need I can pretty well guarantee that it will be a very bad start to your married life together in the US and may very well turn into the first nail in its coffin.

Edited January 2, 2010 by Kathryn41

[MrsCat 6]

^ I read his post last night, and felt the same way as you Kathryn. And honestly, I am sure if she posted about this, my mind would change again too. But we only have his side, and while sounds harsh, I think he sounds like a husband whose just fed up.

I read the post again this morning and felt completely different. If the cat is so important to her, than she should be the primary person making the arrangements to get it here safely. I love my cats and did not want to see them left behind. I also did not want to make them my husband's burden, because he quite frankly doesn't like cats all that much. He never would have expected me to leave them, but I also felt it was my responsibility to care for my pets as I always have. I wouldn't have trusted anyone to make arrangements for my pets other than myself. That way I could ask all the questions I needed to about their care, transferring planes, medication etc.

Of course this is a one-sided post and we don't have her side, but it doesn't sound like she really gives two craps about her cat, since she hasn't made much of an effort to figure out what is needed, how to arrange care between flights, ensures that the costs are accounted for, arranges a pet examine prior to leaving. . . . . . .

I wasn't reading his post necessarily that he expects her to leave the cat behind rather he wants her to take some initiative. Maybe I read it wrong.

[Darnell 8,478]

Short term, get another part time job slinging hash (or something similar) to pay for the cat fees.

Doesn't matter if you think she's unaware about shipping the cat.

What matters is that she's happy.

Mucking about , re: cat fees, is a sure sign for disaster. Your Disaster..

[mox 298]

When it comes to priority's...she puts this cat at the top of her list....somewhere with her family there and then I follow further down on the ladder. She treat's this f*cking cat like it's a god or something.

...

The Belarusians not only celebrate Christmas and New Years on the Latin based calender, but they live it up again during Orthodox Christmas and New Years. It's like they can't party enough or some sh*t.

Just read your post a little more closely, and I hope you don't mind a little unsolicited advice. Her cat is only the first in a very long long line of concessions you're going to be making for Kira. As Kathryn said, she chose to give up her life for you. Could you have done the same thing? Most of us couldn't have, even if we spoke the language. But she did, and possibly even against her family's wishes. You're going to have to accommodate her holidays, her (what you consider) strange mannerisms, her different tastes in food (including that gray mass she's eventually going to serve you that you really aren't going to want to eat, but you're going to do it anyway because it makes her happy), and the times that it really does seem like she's putting an animal's needs in front of your own.

...

Are all Rus women hung up on their cats and dogs or just my wife ?

One of the common misconceptions about Rus and Eastern European women is that they are somehow wired differently than any other woman. It's true that they do tend to lean a little more "traditional," especially if you married a woman from a smaller city or village, or from a large family, but you're going to discover that aside from some cultural differences, there's no such thing as a "typical" FSU woman any more than there's a typical American, Canadian, or British woman. Some of them are hung up on their dogs and cats, others can't stand them, just like here. As we saw in another thread, some FSU women love maple syrup, some hate it. Many share a common history that's very different than our own, but your Kira is going to be a unique individual just like every other FSU woman.

Oh, and when I say they tend to be a little more traditional, don't even begin to think you won't be doing laundry, dishes, or some cooking, even when you're working and she's not. Put in that extra effort though, the hassles and frustrations will pay back in spades.

And one more thing about the cat: if you pull this off, the brownie points are going to be huge. Be her hero.

I read the post again this morning and felt completely different. If the cat is so important to her, than she should be the primary person making the arrangements to get it here safely. I love my cats and did not want to see them left behind. I also did not want to make them my husband's burden, because he quite frankly doesn't like cats all that much. He never would have expected me to leave them, but I also felt it was my responsibility to care for my pets as I always have. I wouldn't have trusted anyone to make arrangements for my pets other than myself. That way I could ask all the questions I needed to about their care, transferring planes, medication etc.

It sounds to me like the OP has taken on the travel arrangements, and transporting the cat is just one part of that. This is a good idea IMO. You don't want two people calling and mucking about with the travel arrangements, especially with the time zone differences being what they are. You want one point of contact to minimize confusion. I'm also going to guess that the cost of her paying for her own cat is a deal breaker. The average salary in Moscow is $600/mo. I don't know what it is anywhere in Belarus, but I'm guessing not even close to $600.

Of course this is a one-sided post and we don't have her side, but it doesn't sound like she really gives two craps about her cat, since she hasn't made much of an effort to figure out what is needed, how to arrange care between flights, ensures that the costs are accounted for, arranges a pet examine prior to leaving. . . . . . .

Wow, that's quite the leap of logic. You're right that we don't know her side, but I'd be very surprised if this was true.

I wasn't reading his post necessarily that he expects her to leave the cat behind rather he wants her to take some initiative. Maybe I read it wrong.

Well then maybe I'm reading it wrong too, because I get the impression that she's very close to her cat, and it's very important to her that *he* take the initiative to make it happen. Which imo is a very reasonable expectation.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Hi Mrs Cat,

I agree, we only have the one side of the story. Perhaps the OP can tell us if he has asked her to help make the arrangements for the cat. Did he say he would make the flight arrangements for her? Does the payment have to happen at the same time as booking a flight and if so, does she have access to a credit card to make these arrangements? Does she have telephone or internet access to international sites to find out about layovers, and connecting flights? Is she legally able to make the changes of flights that would be necessary and pay for them when the changes occur? There are a lot of questions unanswered. If she has the wherewithal and the means to make the flight and connections arrangements, then yes, she could certainly do so. If she doesn't - or if he has told her he is making the arrangements - then she is telling him what arrangements need to be made and he needs to accommodate those. If he is frustrated with doing so, then he needs to ask her if she would take on the responsibility for the cat. I don't get the impression from his post that he has except for just recently while she had family commitments. It sounds like he made the arrangements - didn't ask her to - until he ran into problems about booking the cat through on connecting flights. It would be hard for her to step into the process part way through of booking, rebooking, changing and re-organizing flights - especially if she hasn't had much experience in booking international flights.

And yes, outside of booking a vehicle large enough to accommodate our cats, I was the one who made sure they were ready to travel and looked for overnight accommodation that accepted pets. I also gave Joe instructions about what he needed to do at his end to prepare for the cats arrival. She should definitely be the one making sure that the cat is ready to travel.

Edited January 2, 2010 by Kathryn41

[Bad_Daddy 2,209]

Ok, tbh she did get the cat a passport and shots...and some kind of micro chip....then again she's a veterinarian. The passport thing is what baffles me. How the h*ll does someone get a cat a passport ? Ya I know I'm going to end up flying this cat over....but I'm going to do it my way...the cheaper way and that is to fly it over via Lufthansa. She's not going to like that one....but such is life.

I like slims points...but then again mox summed it up. I'm going to look like an a**hole if that cat doesn't make it here.

To MOX: As far as her cooking and cleaning when she gets here...I already know the score on that one. Her and I lived together for a few months and she's not exactly what you call "little suzy home maker". I like to cook, and I do a better job keeping the kitchen clean, so I was the one that ended up doing most of that. Her biggy was cleaning the bathroom, and the bedroom....she went way over kill in that dept. if you ask me. Oh and the floors.....she does them every Sunday whether they need it or not. I guess my idea of clean doesn't meet her standards. As far as her working over here....she already has a job waiting for her making $17 an hour with full bennies as a medical records ...something or other at the hospital here that my sister admins. That and I bought her a car so she's good to go there. Her English is excellent...she was an English translator at her university...it's the slang words that mess her up.

To slim: Iv'e sent her enough money to fly that cat over here and back a few times...via western union. I know I'm the one who paid for the new washing machine in her apt...that will end up being her moms after I leave. No biggy I guess since I used it last time I was there. But I am worried that she's going to be a major b*tch when she gets here. She already has something of the "Hitler attitude" and has even told me to get a second job until I get called back up on the slope (Alaska North Slope/Prudhoe Bay)...where the real money's at. She has one of those dry dead pan voices that make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my skin crawl when she's in b*tch mode.

Edited January 2, 2010 by Why_Me

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

The guys at work are tired of hearing the cat drama, so I thought I would bless you all on here with the latest bs with the wifey and her cat. So here goes..... I purchased her a ticket through Expedia from Kyiv to Anchorage, Alaska via Paris and Chicago (POE). The flight from Kyiv to Paris is from Air France, but the flight is operated by Ukrainian International Airlines...Air France just bought some tickets from them for this flight. So the bright guy I am, I called Air France to make sure they allow cats, then I called Ukrainian International Airlines to make sure she could take the cat on board with her. What I failed to do was ask them both if it was ok for her to take the cat onboard if the ticket was through Air France on a flight operated by Ukrainian Airlines. Those two carriers don't have a agreement with them as far as on board animals go so I'm screwed for that flight as far as her taking the cat with her.

So then I find out that in order for her to fly the cat with her as far as Kyiv - Paris goes...I have to change tickets so that it shows a Ukrainian International Flight number, and not an Air France flight number. This not only cost me $250 for a flight penalty, but it takes one to two months to credit the money back to my visa along with purchasing another ticket. My other option is to fly the cat by itself via Lufthansa (Minsk - Chicago) for a grand total of $550 ...where she will meet up with the cat and then fly on up here to Alaska. She doesn't want the cat to fly by itself, but since I changed jobs due to lay off last year it's not like I'm rolling in the dough like I was before. When it comes to priority's...she puts this cat at the top of her list....somewhere with her family there and then I follow further down on the ladder. She treat's this f*cking cat like it's a god or something.

So anyways I'm supposed to change all this #######...flights, tickets, etc... this weekend so that the cat is booked to ride with her. But then I start thinking to myself....#### that cat. It's not that I have anything against her cat but again I'm not making the same bucks as I used to, and she's put like zero effort into making calls for this cat. Her last reason was that her family was having a big bash for New Years, and all her relatives from near the Polish border were driving in to see her one last time. The Belarusians not only celebrate Christmas and New Years on the Latin based calender, but they live it up again during Orthodox Christmas and New Years. It's like they can't party enough or some sh*t.

So what you say is my question...I really don't have one...I just feel like p*ssing and moaning atm. But if this cat of her's was to get hit by a car over there in the next few weeks it wouldn't break my heart.

Are all Rus women hung up on their cats and dogs or just my wife ?

maybe. My wife brought a cat and a dog. We really had no problems flying Aerosvit Kiev-JFK non-stop. we had to pay $150 for each animal, a small bribe at the Kiev airport for the customs people to overlook some made up regulations (we complied with the real regulations, health checks etc., but of course the customs people made up a couple new ones to shake us down for a bribe) But other than that, no problem.

One thing to check is the domestic regulations for flying with animals. Some US airlines do not allows animals on board at all anymore for domestic flights.

Belarus, Like Ukraine, has a fair amount, even predominant Catholic population in some areas and therefore celbrate the Dec 25 (Gregorian calendar) Christmas and also the Jan. 7th (Julian Calender) Christmas. However in Ukraine and I suspect in Belarus also, the New Year's holidy is THE big day unless a person is particularly religious. Yes the holidays in RUB get dragged out and it is difficult to get much if any business done between about the 23rd of December and Jan. 10th or so (Three days to sober up). I learned to "do as the Romans" and lighten up during the December/January holidays and also the May holidays. Fighting it is only frustrating.