I need gimygirl's aggression

[incanada1234 0]

Here's my next question: what's more important - offending a parent by telling them what they're doing is despicable or giving a child some self worth by telling them what their parent is doing is despicable?

That does not give a child self worth. Come on get real !!!!!

You get my point though, I hope.

[Fuzzness 2]

you know, we shouldn't be stopping parents from abusing their children. that's just wrong. we should just let them go at it....

(sarcasm off)

i'd have done the same thing, i think. nothing.. because i just wouldnt know what to do in a situation like that.

[incanada1234 0]

you know, we shouldn't be stopping parents from abusing their children. that's just wrong. we should just let them go at it....

(sarcasm off)

i'd have done the same thing, i think. nothing.. because i just wouldnt know what to do in a situation like that.

Well it's good we agree on something for once.

[Canuck Carrie 1]

No wonder there is an entire generation of wimpy, pacified, coddled, allowed to do whatever they want, only try if you'll succeed youngsters out there, parents are too afraid to discipline their children for fear of offending a stranger.

[ursy 0]

No wonder there is an entire generation of wimpy, pacified, coddled, allowed to do whatever they want, only try if you'll succeed youngsters out there, parents are too afraid to discipline their children for fear of offending a stranger.

[/quote

CANUCK CARRIE THIS IS FOR YOU !!!!!

AMEN SISTER , I LOVED YOUR COMMENT !!!! AND AS A TEACHER IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL I THINK WE ARE A LITTLE LOW ON DISCIPLINE.

Edited July 25, 2006 by ursy

[Traviesa 0]

No wonder there is an entire generation of wimpy, pacified, coddled, allowed to do whatever they want, only try if you'll succeed youngsters out there, parents are too afraid to discipline their children for fear of offending a stranger.

I don't see a lot of kids like that at all. I see a lot of bad ### bratty kids who think the world should revolve around them and who act out to get the attention they so desperately crave, but wimpy...please.

And as I was thinking about it, with the attitude that mom on the bus had, I can see her little girl turning into a person just like my coworker-snippy, can't be bothered, entirely unfriendly and unpleasant to work with, can't stand to be interrupted. Honestly, we don't need more people coming up with attitudes like that.

And in fact, the more I think about it, the more I realize that a sensitive child is the exception anymore, not the norm. People expect so much out of children, not realizing that they're not miniature adults-they're children. Kids today are over-confident, rude, and loud. They are NOT wimpy.

Edited July 25, 2006 by MissLiss

[incanada1234 0]

There's a difference between disciplining your kid and child abuse.

Good point MissLiss. I can see that little girl growing up and being in abusive relationships because she thinks it's ok for her boyfriend to shove her and hit her. And why not? If her mom can do, surely her BF should be allowed.

[ceriserose 1]

No wonder there is an entire generation of wimpy, pacified, coddled, allowed to do whatever they want, only try if you'll succeed youngsters out there, parents are too afraid to discipline their children for fear of offending a stranger.

Do you honestly think that's the ONLY reason that there is a generation as you described? Or could it possibly be also because there are too many people who don't know or understand HOW to parent effectively, in order to raise and nurture independent human beings, and don't bother to learn?

Personally, I thnk there is an entire generation as you describe because their parents are just plain lazy. It takes a damn lot of work to raise a child 'properly' (however one would define that) and the last few generations of adults don't seem to feel it a priority.

IMHO.

edit: I used generalizations. Acknowledged. Yes, I know not everyone is like that, it was just easier to speak in broad terms.

Edited July 25, 2006 by ceriserose

[chri'stina 190]

There's a difference between disciplining your kid and child abuse.

I also worked with little kids and was completely annoyed by the lack of discipline by parents. BUT abuse is not discipline. Do you really think a child getting shoved by their mom for falling asleep becomes a well behaved kid cuz of it??? Was the child doing something wrong?, and if so did the mother bother telling her WHY she shouldn't fall asleep?? Discipline is saying why they can't do something, and telling them the consequences if they decide to disobey. It's not just shoving kids around.

Edited July 25, 2006 by stina&suj

[Canuck Carrie 1]

I meant discipline in general and not specifically addresssing the bus incident.

You're all assuming this based on 1 persons interpretations of events, if incanada had said "I was on the bus and this little girl kept falling asleep, I wonder if she was ill because her 'mom' had to make a point of constantly waking her up" you would've responded differently.

Cerise, I think what you've described is split. Some parents don't know how to parent, some are too afraid to parent.

I see too many parents worried that if they discipline Johnny he'll turn out jaded and angry so they let him run amok, rewarding good behavior and ignoring bad. I'm taking it a little further and even blaming the school system that has to bend over backwards and be PC in order to not exclude/hurt/offend anyone so that they don't grow up into warped individuals because they celebrated Halloween in grade 4.

[ursy 0]

WHO HERE CAN PROVE THAT THIS CASE WAS ABUSE ????????????????????????????????????

[incanada1234 0]

and if so did the mother bother telling her WHY she shouldn't fall asleep?? Discipline is saying why they can't do something, and telling them the consequences if they decide to disobey. It's not just shoving kids around.

To be honest, she may have. I didn't hear everything the woman was spitting out at the girl. Either way, nearly tearing the little girl's arm out of her socket wasn't the way to go about it.

[Sister Fracas 5]

No wonder there is an entire generation of wimpy, pacified, coddled, allowed to do whatever they want, only try if you'll succeed youngsters out there, parents are too afraid to discipline their children for fear of offending a stranger.

I'd agree that there is an entire generation of children being allowed to do what they want, but I don't know that it's all down to parents being afraid to discipline their children. I think there are a lot more factors, like today I think parents feel they need to be friends with their kids, they don't spend as much time with kids (both parents working), so they feel they just want to give them everything they can to make up for it, etc, etc.

I wouldn't call what this adult (because it's not known if she was the mum) was doing qualifies as discipline though. She was yanking the child by the arm. This doesn't sound like the way to get a child's attention. Even if she didn't want the child to fall asleep for whatever reason, I seriously think there would be a better way to convey the message that the child needed to stay awake...better than jerking the child and yelling at her.

In all honesty, I probably wouldn't have done anything in this case because while it seems bad judgement on the adult's side, I don't remember reading that the little girls was crying out of pain. I never know what to do in a situation like this, because while I usually feel bad for the kids, I can't help but think it's just not going to help...that it won't really cause someone to take a moment to reflect that they could handle things better...they'll just yell some profanity which won't help the kid.

But where IS that line? For someone like me who never had a hand raised to them by a parent, spanking would be hard to see...yet for someone who was spanked, no big deal, but yet if a child were being whooped with a belt, that would be crossing the line...and for those who were whooped...no big deal... it IS a tough one.

Edited July 25, 2006 by Frances

[incanada1234 0]

You're all assuming this based on 1 persons interpretations of events, if incanada had said "I was on the bus and this little girl kept falling asleep, I wonder if she was ill because her 'mom' had to make a point of constantly waking her up" you would've responded differently.

Just be glad you didn't have to see this woman shoving her elbow forcefully into the side of a 30 or so pound defenseless little girl.

[KarenCee 3]

People need to stay the #### out of other people's business.

I agree ito an extent, but there are certain lines that are crossed and at that point it would be irresponsible not to get involved.

Agree

Yeah, but what gives you the power to be judge and jury to decide that the line has been crossed or what is the line. Mother yanking a kid's arm to keep them from falling asleep is not like being poked with an electric cattle prod or beat with a blackjack.

No one said anything about anyone having "power" as you've so eloquently written here. However, I do think that manhandling a child is just a bit too much. As small as some children are, it is so easy to bruise or hurt them. I have been teaching for 12 years now. I've seen a lot. I've worked with small children for most of that 12 years...10 of those years to be precise. I'm not saying I am a professional when it comes to making a decision on what is and is not termed abuse. I am saying that I've seen small children bruised, finger marks on their arms, slap marks on tiny legs, and it tore at my heart. I am required by law, however, to report such things to the administration and they report it to Child Services. I can only hope something was done to prevent it from happening again.

You are correct in stating that a mother yanking a child's arm about is not like being poked with a cattle prod or being beaten with a blackjack (whatever that is)...which that is not a real good analogy for this situation ...but I do think a little more kindness could have been shown to the child rather than the harsh impatience meted out. Being a parent is a TOUGH job...I am a parent too, btw if you're wondering...but taking out your own frustrations and impatience on your child is NOT good parenting. This isn't just my opinion...you'll find this in most any parenting skills book on the market. And before you say it, no I don't think I'm a perfect parent...I have made mistakes (and will probably make more) but one thing I can say....I have NEVER hurt my child by brute force and I never will. To do that to a child who is much smaller than you smacks of bullying. If one has problems controlling themselves in such a way....get help.