I need gimygirl's aggression

[incanada1234 0]

I's sure YOU would thank some stranger that came up to YOU and started going off about something YOU were doing that they thought was wrong.

Um, did you read my post thoroughly? I didn't actually DO anything or say anything. Calm down there, buddy.

yeah...and pray too. I'm sure you do though. But you can hate parts of the world system. I sure do! I don't hate the world's people but I hate much of what is in the world and why it's there.

True, I mostly do hate what's in the world and the things people do. My problem is that I have a hard time not hating the actual PEOPLE that do those things that make me hate the world, know what I mean? I have a lot of flaws but that's probably my biggest, as a Christian. I can't seem to get myself to not hate certain people, especially those that harm children.

[I'm Gone 60]

Um, did you read my post thoroughly? I didn't actually DO anything or say anything. Calm down there, buddy.

But you wished you had and are second guessing yourself for not doing it.

[chri'stina 190]

...... I can't seem to get myself to not hate certain people, especially those that harm children.

I know what you mean. I should say I try not to hate people, I'm not always successful.

[incanada1234 0]

Um, did you read my post thoroughly? I didn't actually DO anything or say anything. Calm down there, buddy.

But you wished you had and are second guessing yourself for not doing it.

True, but I mostly wish I had just told the woman off; not so much told her how to treat her children. It's a fine line though, ya know? When do you start stepping in and helping a defenseless child? I would say what this woman was doing didn't warrant something like a police officer or whoever, telling her to knock it off. But I know that, as a child, I was often hit very cruely by my stepfather and I would have been SO thankful if someone had seen it happen and told him off.

[I'm Gone 60]

...... I can't seem to get myself to not hate certain people, especially those that harm children.

I know what you mean. I should say I try not to hate people, I'm not always successful.

What harm, the mother was telling the kid not to fall asleep and the kid wouldn't stay awake. I guess she should have bought the kid a coffee before getting on the bus and then you would have b*tched about that.

Plus I would be inclinded to say that people that don't have kids would be the first to correct someone's parenting skills.

Edited July 25, 2006 by mdyoung

[chri'stina 190]

Um, did you read my post thoroughly? I didn't actually DO anything or say anything. Calm down there, buddy.

But you wished you had and are second guessing yourself for not doing it.

True, but I mostly wish I had just told the woman off; not so much told her how to treat her children. It's a fine line though, ya know? When do you start stepping in and helping a defenseless child? I would say what this woman was doing didn't warrant something like a police officer or whoever, telling her to knock it off. But I know that, as a child, I was often hit very cruely by my stepfather and I would have been SO thankful if someone had seen it happen and told him off.

I think that is a reason I'd say something if I ever would, to show the child acknowledgement as a fellow human and that they don't deserve the way they are being treated. Even if the parent didn't stop or care what you said, the child hears it and may remember it for a long time. I know when I was a kid, kindness from a stranger was always very nice and was memorable. I was never in situations though where my parents were treating me badly, so I don't know how it feels.

(Again I am talking about interfering when a certain line has been crossed-the line may be different from person to person-not just any time a parents corrects or yells at their kids. Believe me I don't like bratty kids! But I dislike bratty parents even more!)

[noviademexicano 0]

I knew a woman, whom I used to call a friend. I used to go to her apartment to visit, help her with her kids, take her to run errands and I would bring her groceries. Well, she lost her way, started partying way to much. One day I went to visit and she was drunk again and high on something, I lectured her once again about what she was doing to herself and kids. I opened the bedroom door to find her 1 & 2 year old locked in the room. There was $hit all over one of the kids and on the wall, the bed, they hadn't eaten and the room was just filthy. I let them out of the room bathed and changed them, then took them to McDonald's to get something to eat, when we got back to the apt. the little 1 year old boy tried to climb up on his mommy, she burned him purposely with the cigarette. I walked out of there with her kids, called her mom and called social services on her. She was not a good friend but I was because I cared more for her kids and she than she did at that point. Last I heard her mom had the 2 younger kids, the older kid was in a juvenile detention home and my "friend" had run off with a 20 year old guy.

Sometimes it may not be any of your business but it is your obligation to do something if there is abuse, especially if it is towards children. If we don't protect them, who will?

[incanada1234 0]

What harm, the mother was telling the kid not to fall asleep and the kid wouldn't stay awake. I guess she should have bought the kid a coffee before getting on the bus and then you would have b*tched about that.

Plus I would be inclinded to say that people that don't have kids would be the first to correct someone's parenting skills.

You really DIDN'T read my post thoroughly. She wasn't merely telling the child not to sleep, she was also yanking her arm and albowing her in the side, should, head, etc. I mean, I understand even from just writing it, it may not sound all THAT bad. But I guess you had to be there because I couldn't believe how HARD she was letting this little girl have it. This child has no hope of defending her little 40lb body against the big fat 300lb woman.

As for your last comment - I wasn't aware that bruising your child is considered a parenting "skill."

[ursy 0]

I saw a horrible thing yesterday. Our car is out of commission right now so I had to take the bus home from work. This big fat woman gets on with two little girls, and these girls were just about the cutest little things I've ever seen. They looked to be about 4 and 6 years old.

So I'm sitting there trying not to stare too much at these adorable little girls when I notice that the younger one is starting to fall asleep. You know how children get sleepy and they just instantly close their eyes and their bodies go limp? So cute. Well anyway, this little girl starts sagging against her mom (assuming it was her mom) with her little eyes closed. She was just out. And all of the sudden, the mom VIOLENTLY shoves her away and harshly whispers, "Don't fall asleep!"

Well, this sweet little girl is obviously being lulled to sleep by the motions of the bus and she clearly can't HELP drifting off. And again, her eyes close and she starts leaning against this woman. This time the woman grabs her left arm and just YANKS her away from her and tells her again to stop sleeping. I kid you not, this happened about 10 times. Each time the mom's shoves and yanks got a little more violent. And I was just LIVID. I wanted to kick this ######'s face in by this point.

And you know what I did about it? Nothing. Mostly because I'm a coward but also because this woman was probably 200 lbs heavier than me. And that poor little girl, I just wanted to snatch her up and take her home with me and let her sleep in my arms. When I got off the bus I was in tears for about 15 minutes.

I noticed the woman's arm was bandaged, so I'm thinking MAYBE she couldn't carry the child off the bus and that's why she didn't want her to fall asleep. But even so, that gives her no damn right to treat her kid that way. It's so hard to try to be a good Christian and yet, just wanting people like that to die.

Well anyway, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel sick again just thinking about it.

[Itsmeitsmeitsree! 0]

Just after my first marriage fell apart, my two girls and I had to ride the bus everywhere we went because my ex sold the extra two cars. (Long story, very boring) The were 7 and 2 at the time, and not always great travelling companions. And I'm a big gal like you described, probably not quite that big, but still quite heavy.

My girls would often fall asleep on the bus, and I always tried to get the aisle seat so that they COULD fall asleep against me. Our reasons for being on the bus weren't always for fun, sometimes it was after a long day and I was tired. I can't imagine how tired they must have been. There were times when I almost fell asleep, so I couldn't ask them not to! If they did sleep, I always woke them up a couple of stops before ours and they drowsily woke up and got off when we were supposed to.

I'm not going to guess whether you should've said something or not. It would seem an intrusion to some people, whereas it could've been that if you had something, it may have given the woman pause to reflect on her behavior. It's a job to tell.

The only thing I can really say in defense of the woman's behavior...what time of day was it? If it was early evening, then a nap on the bus could've really done a number on the girls bedtime. If my kids slept anytime after 2pm it ruined their 8pm bedtime.

Just my two cents.

[incanada1234 0]

I think that is a reason I'd say something if I ever would, to show the child acknowledgement as a fellow human and that they don't deserve the way they are being treated. Even if the parent didn't stop or care what you said, the child hears it and may remember it for a long time. I know when I was a kid, kindness from a stranger was always very nice and was memorable. I was never in situations though where my parents were treating me badly, so I don't know how it feels.

(Again I am talking about interfering when a certain line has been crossed-the line may be different from person to person-not just any time a parents corrects or yells at their kids. Believe me I don't like bratty kids! But I dislike bratty parents even more!)

Thanks Christina, your posts kind of make me feel better since you seem to know exactly how I feel. You hit the nail on the head with this line: "to show the child acknowledgement as a fellow human and that they don't deserve the way they are being treated." Honestly? That's absolutely why I wish I could have said something, just so that at least the girl knew that she didn't deserve what that woman was doing to her. I wanted to tell her it's totally normal for a little girl to fall asleep on the bus. She probably thinks she did something awful.

I knew a woman, whom I used to call a friend. I used to go to her apartment to visit, help her with her kids, take her to run errands and I would bring her groceries. Well, she lost her way, started partying way to much. One day I went to visit and she was drunk again and high on something, I lectured her once again about what she was doing to herself and kids. I opened the bedroom door to find her 1 & 2 year old locked in the room. There was $hit all over one of the kids and on the wall, the bed, they hadn't eaten and the room was just filthy. I let them out of the room bathed and changed them, then took them to McDonald's to get something to eat, when we got back to the apt. the little 1 year old boy tried to climb up on his mommy, she burned him purposely with the cigarette. I walked out of there with her kids, called her mom and called social services on her. She was not a good friend but I was because I cared more for her kids and she than she did at that point. Last I heard her mom had the 2 younger kids, the older kid was in a juvenile detention home and my "friend" had run off with a 20 year old guy.

Sometimes it may not be any of your business but it is your obligation to do something if there is abuse, especially if it is towards children. If we don't protect them, who will?

OMG That is AWFUL. I'm so glad those kids had you there at the time! And thank goodness her mom has the children now (and hopefully is treating them kindly).

I agree, someone has to stick up for children because they obviously aren't capable of sticking up for themselves. And how are they supposed to grow up to be decent human beings if they're only shown cruelty when they're young?

The only thing I can really say in defense of the woman's behavior...what time of day was it? If it was early evening, then a nap on the bus could've really done a number on the girls bedtime. If my kids slept anytime after 2pm it ruined their 8pm bedtime.

Just my two cents.

I see what you're getting at but let me ask you - does it REALLY matter what time of day it was? Is it ok to hurt your young child at 5PM, but not 2PM?

Edited July 25, 2006 by incanada1234

[Traviesa 0]

People need to stay the #### out of other people's business.

People need to be good parents...too bad we don't all do what we should.

[ursy 0]

I saw a horrible thing yesterday. Our car is out of commission right now so I had to take the bus home from work. This big fat woman gets on with two little girls, and these girls were just about the cutest little things I've ever seen. They looked to be about 4 and 6 years old.

So I'm sitting there trying not to stare too much at these adorable little girls when I notice that the younger one is starting to fall asleep. You know how children get sleepy and they just instantly close their eyes and their bodies go limp? So cute. Well anyway, this little girl starts sagging against her mom (assuming it was her mom) with her little eyes closed. She was just out. And all of the sudden, the mom VIOLENTLY shoves her away and harshly whispers, "Don't fall asleep!"

Well, this sweet little girl is obviously being lulled to sleep by the motions of the bus and she clearly can't HELP drifting off. And again, her eyes close and she starts leaning against this woman. This time the woman grabs her left arm and just YANKS her away from her and tells her again to stop sleeping. I kid you not, this happened about 10 times. Each time the mom's shoves and yanks got a little more violent. And I was just LIVID. I wanted to kick this ######'s face in by this point.

And you know what I did about it? Nothing. Mostly because I'm a coward but also because this woman was probably 200 lbs heavier than me. And that poor little girl, I just wanted to snatch her up and take her home with me and let her sleep in my arms. When I got off the bus I was in tears for about 15 minutes.

I noticed the woman's arm was bandaged, so I'm thinking MAYBE she couldn't carry the child off the bus and that's why she didn't want her to fall asleep. But even so, that gives her no damn right to treat her kid that way. It's so hard to try to be a good Christian and yet, just wanting people like that to die.

Well anyway, thanks for letting me get that off my chest. I feel sick again just thinking about it.

Hi , I think you were very kind to show your sensitivity for the child's situation. However , don't be so quick to judge !! Though I too feel for the small child but honestly you don't know why she did not want the child to fall asleep. you can't judge a parent based on one event. Perhaps she took the child to the doctor and she was told don't let her fall asleep . I am a teacher and some times when a small child falls or in other cases we are instructed to make sure the child does not go to sleep within a certain period of time. You seem to be wonderful sensitive person and there should be many more like you but i just think that one can't be judged on one event.

[incanada1234 0]

Hi , I think you were very kind to show your sensitivity for the child's situation. However , don't be so quick to judge !! Though I too feel for the small child but honestly you don't know why she did not want the child to fall asleep. you can't judge a parent based on one event. Perhaps she took the child to the doctor and she was told don't let her fall asleep . I am a teacher and some times when a small child falls or in other cases we are instructed to make sure the child does not go to sleep within a certain period of time. You seem to be wonderful sensitive person and there should be many more like you but i just think that one can't be judged on one event.

Heh, you're probably the only person in visajourney history to call me a "wonderful sensitive person".

But it's not that she told her child to stay awake. It's that she hurt her while doing it.

[Traviesa 0]

Hi , I think you were very kind to show your sensitivity for the child's situation. However , don't be so quick to judge !! Though I too feel for the small child but honestly you don't know why she did not want the child to fall asleep. you can't judge a parent based on one event. Perhaps she took the child to the doctor and she was told don't let her fall asleep . I am a teacher and some times when a small child falls or in other cases we are instructed to make sure the child does not go to sleep within a certain period of time. You seem to be wonderful sensitive person and there should be many more like you but i just think that one can't be judged on one event.

Heh, you're probably the only person in visajourney history to call me a "wonderful sensitive person".

But it's not that she told her child to stay awake. It's that she hurt her while doing it.

Exactly...I think in this instance, and in Gimygirl's instance, there was something about the situation that wasn't right...that made you feel weird.....to where you knew what was going on was not ok. If there's something going on that makes you (and probably others) so uncomfortable, it's probably not within the realm of normal parenting. There's a line that's crossed when people will start to take notice, and you don't have those feelings for nothing.