White Knuckles...

[Aymerlu 3]

Guys, it's weird, but I'm just numb. I should be bouncing but just too wary until I know TNT knocked on his door.

Ironically, I found the wedding dress I want to wear and showed it to Moh last night. He went crazy.

LOL Jean! Makes you want to puke don't it! I haven't ate hardly a thing in 2 days wondering if this is really it. Made myself break out in hives It's our turn, it's our turn, its' our turn! Shoot....lets get the boys on the same plane to us!

[Together4ever 1]

Amy, I wish we could both afford to go there and meet them and fly back with them, all 4 of us! Wow that would be a WONDERFUL trip! Dreams dreams dreams.

I'm so relieved to be home from work. Now I can cry... and I need it bad. Guys, I don't like to put too much of my "stuff" out there anymore but the pressure and stress on us as a couple has been crushing lately. I promised him I wouldn't discuss his private stuff but just trust its almost been too much for any human to bear. We have been having some really horrible fights... over nothing at all. he's stretched to his limits emotionally and so am I. Right about the time we decide to thrown in the towel out of pure frustration... we realize what we are doing and cry together. No frigging human being should have to endure this kind pressure. We don't even mean to fight! It's just all this pent up frustration, fear, sense of no control, loneliness, and mega family crud etc... my only support system is you guys and his only support system is ME. Anyway, last night we really had a doozy... he refused to hang up until it was over so I was up into the wee hours. We settled things, but you know, without a hug or at least seeing his face I just can't regain my sense of comfort after these. I slept off and on with that horrible sick feeling, then woke up to find that email. It's really just left me in a weird conflicted zone. Don't misunderstand me, I'm THRILLED. God knows when he'll have it hand, but at least I know something is happening. I've just been handling a very bizarre brew of emotions today.

Here is the link to the dress. It's the one I hope to get. http://www.islamicboutique.com/wedding_abaya.asp

Maybe I shall suck my thumb...

[Bosco 1]

The dress is lovely Jean.

I completely relate to what you are going through. The last months were hell on me and my husband. I had moments where I wanted to say "let's just stop talking and resume again when you get here". It was never a matter of questioning my feelings for him, but I was 100% fed up with being in this holding stage. Chatting and talking on the phone grows old, especially if you are strapped to a desk for your job. We both had other issues going on at the same time too, so I can relate all to well. It is conflicting to be going through these rough times right when you are getting ready to start your life together, I know, but as soon as he gets off the plane all the yucky moments will be forgotten.

Rebecca

Amy, I wish we could both afford to go there and meet them and fly back with them, all 4 of us! Wow that would be a WONDERFUL trip! Dreams dreams dreams.

I'm so relieved to be home from work. Now I can cry... and I need it bad. Guys, I don't like to put too much of my "stuff" out there anymore but the pressure and stress on us as a couple has been crushing lately. I promised him I wouldn't discuss his private stuff but just trust its almost been too much for any human to bear. We have been having some really horrible fights... over nothing at all. he's stretched to his limits emotionally and so am I. Right about the time we decide to thrown in the towel out of pure frustration... we realize what we are doing and cry together. No frigging human being should have to endure this kind pressure. We don't even mean to fight! It's just all this pent up frustration, fear, sense of no control, loneliness, and mega family crud etc... my only support system is you guys and his only support system is ME. Anyway, last night we really had a doozy... he refused to hang up until it was over so I was up into the wee hours. We settled things, but you know, without a hug or at least seeing his face I just can't regain my sense of comfort after these. I slept off and on with that horrible sick feeling, then woke up to find that email. It's really just left me in a weird conflicted zone. Don't misunderstand me, I'm THRILLED. God knows when he'll have it hand, but at least I know something is happening. I've just been handling a very bizarre brew of emotions today.

Here is the link to the dress. It's the one I hope to get. http://www.islamicboutique.com/wedding_abaya.asp

Maybe I shall suck my thumb...

[Yasi 0]

Good luck... I'll pray for you.

Yasi

[ya falaha! 0]

Oh Jean..I know how you're feeling, love. Before I went for my last visit to Egypt (I returned last Tuesday) we had HORRIFIC fights! Fights to the point of me wanting to just end everything and forget him completely. While I was in Egypt, Mohamed and I had some wonderful talks and really got to know how to handle each other emotionally. I told him what really bugged me about him and he did the same about me. It really helped that we discussed it face to face. Since I've been back (although I'm emotional about being away from him AGAIN) Mohamed has been so supportive and patient. I know it's only been a week and he may change his tune once we get into more months of waiting..UGH!! What I'm trying to say is....the separation is the reason for the fights not you or him. This waiting game is the ultimate test in a relationship. Inshallah it will be over for you and the rest of us soon. Ameen ya rabb.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Congrats Jean, I hope it's good news.

I think we can all relate to those fights. It's natural being so far away...

Sarah

[kerewin21 2]

Jean, I really hope this is good news, and I know it can't be bad news!!!

I love the dress, so simple and elegant....

Amy!!!! So good to hear from you too, I hope you have good news forthcoming as well.

Sharon

[Veiled Princess 1]

Mabrook GIRL!!!!

I am really so happy for you!!! It sounds like good news and I'll pray for you too

Not trying to hijack the thread but I just have to ask... what's up with the disclaimers and copyrights in everyones siggy's????

[Together4ever 1]

Mabrook GIRL!!!!

I am really so happy for you!!! It sounds like good news and I'll pray for you too

Not trying to hijack the thread but I just have to ask... what's up with the disclaimers and copyrights in everyones siggy's????

It was kind of a panicky knee jerk reaction to the "incident which shall not be mentioned". Really messed up my reality...

Yep to everyone about the separation anxiety thing. Seems every one of us goes through it. I think the feelings of not being in control of your own future, of having your destiny resting in a very cold pair of disembodied hands all mixed in with all that longing and desires that can't be satisfied with anything more then the stupid telephone or internet. He asked me why I still sounded so sad tonight... it's simple. No hugs to make it better. Sounds childish I know... but man on man one small warm touch can go a long way to soothing an aching heart. We both treated ourselves to dinner out tonight after our phone call to celebrate, then he wants to call me back when he's finished.

You guys are all way more optimistic then I am. I don't see anything much happening for awhile yet and I know it could still turn a wayward corner, but at the same time I'm feeling myself relaxing. It's a deep relaxation... one I haven't felt for the last 14 months.

Enshaa Allah...

Thank you again for all the good wishes... right back at ya!

[samir_shannon 0]

AWWWWWWWWWWWWW that is wonderful!

Amy, I wish we could both afford to go there and meet them and fly back with them, all 4 of us! Wow that would be a WONDERFUL trip! Dreams dreams dreams.

I'm so relieved to be home from work. Now I can cry... and I need it bad. Guys, I don't like to put too much of my "stuff" out there anymore but the pressure and stress on us as a couple has been crushing lately. I promised him I wouldn't discuss his private stuff but just trust its almost been too much for any human to bear. We have been having some really horrible fights... over nothing at all. he's stretched to his limits emotionally and so am I. Right about the time we decide to thrown in the towel out of pure frustration... we realize what we are doing and cry together. No frigging human being should have to endure this kind pressure. We don't even mean to fight! It's just all this pent up frustration, fear, sense of no control, loneliness, and mega family crud etc... my only support system is you guys and his only support system is ME. Anyway, last night we really had a doozy... he refused to hang up until it was over so I was up into the wee hours. We settled things, but you know, without a hug or at least seeing his face I just can't regain my sense of comfort after these. I slept off and on with that horrible sick feeling, then woke up to find that email. It's really just left me in a weird conflicted zone. Don't misunderstand me, I'm THRILLED. God knows when he'll have it hand, but at least I know something is happening. I've just been handling a very bizarre brew of emotions today.

Here is the link to the dress. It's the one I hope to get. http://www.islamicboutique.com/wedding_abaya.asp

Maybe I shall suck my thumb...

AWWWWWWWWWWWW its ok just hang in there ... samir and i fight too and dont even mean to. after all this is over just think .. we will appreciate our relationships more because we know what we have had to go through to be together.

Guys, it's weird, but I'm just numb. I should be bouncing but just too wary until I know TNT knocked on his door.

Ironically, I found the wedding dress I want to wear and showed it to Moh last night. He went crazy.

LOL Jean! Makes you want to puke don't it! I haven't ate hardly a thing in 2 days wondering if this is really it. Made myself break out in hives It's our turn, it's our turn, its' our turn! Shoot....lets get the boys on the same plane to us!

amerlu.. you are in my prayers too girl.. i know that this has been so difficult for you too... you have been waiting so long. let us know what happens

[morocco4ever 63]

Jean...<hugs> I know how you feel. My husband and I had a patch of some real nasty fights for awhile. the stress seemed to stem from me having too much to do and him not having enough. He pushes and pushes to call the senator, congressman, cconsulate, CIS, ombudsman, and anyone else that has to do with our case. and I wouldn't do it because you don't want to drive the people crazy that are helping you. Not only that, when there was no new news or bad news he would go into this mode that I hate. He was so silent that I took it as he was just going to give up on both me and the visa. I honestly couldn't handle one more straw.

Once I blew up and let him know that I can't deal any more with him, not the visa, it really caught him off guard. He assumed that the visa was my stress but it was more him and his pushing. Once he realized it he promised to back off of me and let me handle it, and to stop acting like a baby when the news isn't what he wanted to hear. Now for my part. I needed to appreciate the fact that he feels helpless. Day after day of no news, he can't do anything, and he has nothing to do day after day. We knew that if we want our marriage to work we both need to make some changes. He backed off me completely. This totally made a difference on my stress level. We have some mutual friends there in Morocco, and we decided that he would spend a month at a beach house with them. He came back to the house once or twice a week so we could have time together, but the rest of the time we only talked by phone. This gave him a much needed break from reality and some time to just have fun. He is more relaxed and so am I. He ended up coming home a little early from the beach house. And what I see is a much more relaxed husband. Not only that we our both so stubborn that when we fight we refuse to admit how afraid we are to lose each other. We put up walls, which in turn puts forth the appearance of coldness and uncaring. We have decided to stop putting forth this "I don't care what you do" attitude and just admit we are afraid to lose each other.

I didn't mean to tell you my lifes story, but I was hoping that maybe by sharing our problems that you won't feel so alone. And hopefully it will give you ideas on how to make things better between the 2 of you. Even the strongest of loves have rough patches. The key is to recognize them for what they are, see both sides of the story, and come up with solutions together. Easier said as a bystander, yes, but it can be done. Hang in there, don't let these immigration demons destroy a beautiful relationship. Don't ever let them win.

I hope this comes to an end soon and they give him the visa. You deserve it. You have been so helpful to all of us and you have made me laugh non stop. You truly are a sweetheart.

Now back to listening to my husband snore...

[Together4ever 1]

You know, I appreciate so much you guys sharing your experiences. It's pretty apparent to me that although this hasn't been particularly "fun"... it's not out of the normal. The pressures of "waiting" are absolutely horrible and I do think this process pushes couples to the brink. Mohammed and I are both very sensitive (yuck) and emotional people so ... you can imagine. We never fought before anything at all like lately and it was becoming disheartening. He's savvy enough to know well what's happening when we do, and I am too. Neither of us want to let go of each other, and he's usually the one that will suddenly stop mid-hollering and say to me "calm down honey, just calm down, now let's stop" right about the time I'm ready start roof top sniping or something and then the tears start. Thank God we already had a deep and strong foundation together before this journey ever started. We know what we have. We know what makes the other tick. We know what we adore about each other and we know what we absolutely can't stand about each other and in the end, good or bad, we just love each other. I've been blessed by a wonderful partnership with this man.

Seems kind of healing to share this. This is the real kind of support I think we need most here. You are all wonderful. Now hopefully as I foam and drool my way through the last phase of this waiting game you will forgive me. We're not "home" yet... just getting closer. I'm sitting here smiling remembering all of his quickly half-whispered giggling prayers last night every time I said "when you come". He just tickles me.