After my fiance got his k-1 visas in Nov. he went purchase a ticket using that visa to go to a different country instead of coming here to the USA

[5h1ne4u 0]

No, we haven't emailed or phone each other for almost a month now...

[TracyTN 237]

But you raise a good point, in general, I don't get why people go to such extreme lengths to find a wife/husband abroad and do not first make a good hard attempt at finding a partner that is already legally here, first... so you can spend a lot of time with them before getting married, get to know their friends and family if possible, see how they live, I can carry on because there are just soo many advantages of knowing your partner well before marriage... (this is common sense btw)

I have been married and divorced (to another USC) previously -and I can tell you that the amount of time I spent with him before we got married wasn't enough to clue me in to the trouble down the road. So that's not always the best measuring stick of success. LOL. But in general, I get your point otherwise.

[DainandVicky 4]

Money I've lost is money I spent here and there when i was with him and visa $$$. I discover that he was mis leding me when I talk with the Immigration officer in mid Nov. that the Passport and visa was handed to him in the begining of Nov. ON NOVEMBER HE TOLD ME HE JUST GOT THE VISA... that's how i know he was a deceiver. The actual visits to the embassy is only 3 but what he told me is li 7-8 times.

What I heard from his friend is that he told them he's got a scholarship to go to USA schools... They didn't know he's coming to marry me!

This is really unfortunate and I feel bad for you. I think it's important now to do what others have said, write the Loatian embassy and withdraw your I-134 and cancel the I-129F, remove any further responsibility for yourself. If you feel vindictive you could notify the Dept. of State that you believe he may try to enter illegally and that you have cancelled/ withdrawn your I-129F and I-134 forms. A simple notarized letter to the embassy where he was interviewed is enough to do both of those.

I'd be suspecting, also, that he's planning on entering the U.S. and you've been fed lies (along with the dozens of other lies you've been told) about his "entering another country". He's probably planning to enter on the fiancee visa, stay with his relatives or friends of his brother here, work a cash job, do the illegal alien thing like millions of others do.

Not much you can do for financial restoration, just be glad you found out now and not wasting yet more money on a wedding and subsequent divorce.

[DainandVicky 4]

I have been married and divorced (to another USC) previously -and I can tell you that the amount of time I spent with him before we got married wasn't enough to clue me in to the trouble down the road. So that's not always the best measuring stick of success. LOL. But in general, I get your point otherwise.

I was also married and divorced from a US citizen previously. We dated and lived together for over a year before we were married, and I was 32 years old before I got married for the first time, I was more than picky.

She cheated, I left. Didn't see it coming, no signs of it prior to the email I found. Yes, there were other contributing factors and blah blah blah, but the point is I did know her very well, we were married a few years before it happened... none of it was enough to guarantee a picture perfect marriage.

The divorce rate in the U.S. > over 60%. Finding one from home isn't really working for the majority of people here, and you're definitely preaching to the wrong audience. Almost EVERYONE here is marrying someone from abroad.

Regarding the "get a visitor visa and get to know each other". Vicky tried for a visitor visa from UAE when she was there, and also from Manila when she returned home after her work contract ended. It's not so easy like you might think. This wasn't really an option in our case, even though we tried.

Jan. 2 will be a year I've been talking to her, morning noon and night. I feel like I know her already better than I knew my ex-wife who I was with a total of almost 5 years. God knows WE didn't ever spend 5 hours a night talking for a year straight. I waited 8 months to get to know her really well before I even went there to visit, and yes after I spent 10 days with her started this process the same week I returned home.

It's my choice, and if I'm wrong and I end up alone, I'm not really any further behind than I was when I started talking to her after breaking up with another cheating lying piece of garbage I dated here in the states after I became divorced. Yes, it's a bit of money and a bit of time, but to me, it's worth the risk for the possible/ probable reward.

If it actually works out like I think it probably will, I'm far ahead.

[thongd4me 69]

I was also married and divorced from a US citizen previously. We dated and lived together for over a year before we were married, and I was 32 years old before I got married for the first time, I was more than picky.

She cheated, I left. Didn't see it coming, no signs of it prior to the email I found. Yes, there were other contributing factors and blah blah blah, but the point is I did know her very well, we were married a few years before it happened... none of it was enough to guarantee a picture perfect marriage.

The divorce rate in the U.S. > over 60%. Finding one from home isn't really working for the majority of people here, and you're definitely preaching to the wrong audience. Almost EVERYONE here is marrying someone from abroad.

Regarding the "get a visitor visa and get to know each other". Vicky tried for a visitor visa from UAE when she was there, and also from Manila when she returned home after her work contract ended. It's not so easy like you might think. This wasn't really an option in our case, even though we tried.

Jan. 2 will be a year I've been talking to her, morning noon and night. I feel like I know her already better than I knew my ex-wife who I was with a total of almost 5 years. God knows WE didn't ever spend 5 hours a night talking for a year straight. I waited 8 months to get to know her really well before I even went there to visit, and yes after I spent 10 days with her started this process the same week I returned home.

It's my choice, and if I'm wrong and I end up alone, I'm not really any further behind than I was when I started talking to her after breaking up with another cheating lying piece of garbage I dated here in the states after I became divorced. Yes, it's a bit of money and a bit of time, but to me, it's worth the risk for the possible/ probable reward.

If it actually works out like I think it probably will, I'm far ahead.

I agree with that 100% - my first wife was not a USC and we did know each other

in real life for more than 2 years before marrying, but with 20-20 hindsight it was

the lack of communication (having NOTHING to do with language barrier) that

killed the relationship. Actually no cheating on either side.

We were both in hormone-mode before marriage and weren't thinking about what was

wrong between the ears. After marriage, reality (about how we thought, looked at

life and arranged our priorities) set in and hormone-mode was permanently in the "off" position.

I'm ever so thankful that we sorted out our outlook on life issues (Thai fiancée and I)

well in advance of going into "hormone-mode."

[Ning 619]

I read no where in the OP's posts that she paid for his airfare? Where do you guys get this? She mentioned she lost a lot of money..but it could be just in Visa fees....

We never know the full story...and many people draw conclusions and become very mean...almost gloating in someone's misfortune's...it's easy to be so mean...when you are all sitting in situations that have panned out...regardless of how well she knew this person or not...she was still a woman in love...took a leap of faith and is now devastated by the outcome...there is no handbook on how to date long distance...some people put themselves out there...maybe not as wisely as others think they should...it's still sad...people come here for help...all I ever see is innocent people being attacked...and you all seem like you thoroughly enjoy it...i'm not saying everyone has not been helpful...but the common handful always spring forward with unhelpful rubbish...it is not very inviting or comforting...It's as though some of your lives are not interesting enough that you thrive and wait for this kinda stuff....I believe in karma...and whether or not people make stupid decisions (as you are all pointing out) they don't deserve to be subjected to heckling...

A question gets asked...and they seek answers...the question was 'what recourse do I have'...the simple answer is (if she wants to notify anyone) it would be USCIS and Homeland Security. Also, good advise was to protect her credit info etc...No need to rub their faces in made up scenario's....man you guys are bulldogs...I've yet to see a purely 'clean' thread in the upper forums....i'm ashamed for you people...I never comment or get involved...but some comments are just unreal...

To the OP....I really do feel bad for you...I hope that you can move past this and life gets better.

Exactly right in every way. What has taken place here is a prime example of people here filling in the gaps in the O P post to expand the drama & become experts on a situation that doesnt exist.

[5h1ne4u 0]

The last couple of months we discreetedly calling and emailing each other because most of the calls was made from me to him... Where he lives $2.00 card only last 5-7minutes. Where I lived $2.00 could last us 45 minutes or so...

lately, he's been telling things like i.e. his phone gotton stolen, there's no signal, he didn't see any missed calls on his phone, his batteries is not working right it has to be charge all the time in order for him to be able to talk, He's still in the middle of the city and it's too hot he's burning his forehead he doesn't want talk until he get home people might thinks he smuggling drug for talking on the road or sidwalk and bunch more ######...etc.

His whole family tells me 3-4 different stories... when I can to check upon him. One friend heard one thing, the other heards another... All the stories doesn't make sense at all ESPECIALLY from his family (why would the whole family tell different story like their not even communicating).

After I talk with the immigration officer at his embassy i just decided it's not worth my time of dealing with a deciever like him. What I have done is I have reported him to the international custome and boarding but what i don't know is that are they only going to alert him from my state only or do they alert all the international airports like Korea, Japan, China, and Bankok too? If he does come that's these would be where they'll screen him first... does any one know??? Thank you in advance for info.!!!

[PhiLandShiR 18]

Is it possible to check with INS to see if the visa was ever used? This could tell you where the POE was and allow a search from there.

Its also possible that the goal here was to simply get a copy of a valid visa to duplicate and allow a visa scam to take place. You know, the classic, I have a friend who can get that for you for the low sum of....

Just my 2 cents...

-P

[Archeon 0]

Money I've lost is money I spent here and there when i was with him and visa $$$. I discover that he was mis leding me when I talk with the Immigration officer in mid Nov. that the Passport and visa was handed to him in the begining of Nov. ON NOVEMBER HE TOLD ME HE JUST GOT THE VISA... that's how i know he was a deceiver. The actual visits to the embassy is only 3 but what he told me is li 7-8 times.

What I heard from his friend is that he told them he's got a scholarship to go to USA schools... They didn't know he's coming to marry me!

This still doesn't make sense because the K-1 visa cannot be used as an academic visa to come to america and study.

Something in your story is not adding up, or you are not giving all the info.

[Boundless 0]

Sounds like a short-sighted heartless ba~tard.

Did you send him any money?

It sounds very much out of the ordinary, going through the trouble to scam someone for a K-1 and not entering US soil.

I have a feeling he IS on US soil but just hasn't told you exactly where.

He'll definitely be illegal so don't waste time reporting him.

Ok let's be smart, he i snot in another country because they wouldn't by any chance let in another country with a U.S. visa. So I'm willing to bet, "HE IS" in the USA, but with someone else he knows. Call the USCIS for starters, ask them how you can find out if he entered the U.S. that stuff is recorded in the system.

[5h1ne4u 0]

The story of him coming here for academic is his story that he told his friend and they told me. I have no idea what he is doing... I'm completely lost with him myself. What I've said above is what I heard when I communicate with his friends that that's what he told them.

[PanamaJack 1]

The story of him coming here for academic is his story that he told his friend and they told me. I have no idea what he is doing... I'm completely lost with him myself. What I've said above is what I heard when I communicate with his friends that that's what he told them.

Face it ...You got the shaft and was taken for all you were worth. Never trust anyone from Laos again... Don't even talk to his friends because they are most likely in on it and they will get you to send them cash to help you out .{yea right} Forget it as if you went to a casino and blew it all. Start over because this dork is a scammer / punk /loser.............

Edited December 23, 2009 by PanamaJack

[thongd4me 69]

The last couple of months we discreetedly calling and emailing each other because most of the calls was made from me to him... Where he lives $2.00 card only last 5-7minutes. Where I lived $2.00 could last us 45 minutes or so...

lately, he's been telling things like i.e. his phone gotton stolen, there's no signal, he didn't see any missed calls on his phone, his batteries is not working right it has to be charge all the time in order for him to be able to talk, He's still in the middle of the city and it's too hot he's burning his forehead he doesn't want talk until he get home people might thinks he smuggling drug for talking on the road or sidwalk and bunch more ######...etc.

His whole family tells me 3-4 different stories... when I can to check upon him. One friend heard one thing, the other heards another... All the stories doesn't make sense at all ESPECIALLY from his family (why would the whole family tell different story like their not even communicating).

-very very easy to answer this one.

It's because when someone tells a lie to more than one person

it's very very difficult to remember exactly which version of the lie

was told before, so the lie tends to change with re-telling.

After I talk with the immigration officer at his embassy i just decided it's not worth my time of dealing with a deciever like him. What I have done is I have reported him to the international custome and boarding but what i don't know is that are they only going to alert him from my state only or do they alert all the international airports like Korea, Japan, China, and Bankok too? If he does come that's these would be where they'll screen him first... does any one know??? Thank you in advance for info.!!!

If you alerted the US authorities, they will transmit that info to all US

ports of entry and NO foreign ones.

[thongd4me 69]

The story of him coming here for academic is his story that he told his friend and they told me. I have no idea what he is doing... I'm completely lost with him myself. What I've said above is what I heard when I communicate with his friends that that's what he told them.

At this point I would stop and think BUT not try to make too much sense out of it.

As I said, lying is an imperfect science because the teller of the lie often forgets which version he told to whom.

He could gain entry with the F-1 visa and then think he could change his name to enroll in a university.

But hey! He didn't think that they may actually want to see his school records with his REAL name!

He's not playing with a full deck and you're fortunate to be rid of him at this stage.

There's no sense in trying to unravel a lie that doesn't hold together logically.

It doesn't make sense because there's probably very little truth to it.