Planning to divorce my husband

[anonymous2009 0]

My husband has been unemployed for several months now and since then he go back to his old habits- drugs and alcohol. I have a full time job so we barely see each other at home. We are more of a "roommate" than husband and wife for more than 6 months now. As much as I want to be there for him, I can't see any efforts coming from him on saving our house and especially our marriage.

He blames his depression for wasting our money to drugs and alcohol. He often doesn't come home every weekend. No phone calls whatsoever. While I am up all night praying that nothing bad happen to him, he is out there having fun with the money we are suppose to use to pay our bills. He IGNORES me when I demand answers... We don't talk. He always gets mad when I start asking questions.

I am planning to move out and get a divorce soon. I don't really have a lot of money for obvious reason. The fear of being out there with just my conditional green card scares me a lot. So I need your help.

How much money do I need to file a divorce (lawyer fees etc)? What about if I hire somebody to help me with my 10 year green card, how much will it gonna cost me?

Sigh I come home tonight 3 hours early hoping for us to eat out. I arrive in an empty house. I am so frustrated with my situation. My stress level is so high that I barely eat.

Please help. As much as possible I need sensible answers.

I'll be waiting in front of my computer... thank you.

[Old Dominion 26]

The minimum cash down payment for a divorce lawyer is $2,000 and up, plus court fees. If you are eligible, your area's Legal Aid Society can help based on your ability to pay. As to the 10-yr. green card process, if you are one who is careful about following directions, you can probably do it yourself. Good luck! Sounds like you do need to get out of that place.

[anonymous2009 0]

The minimum cash down payment for a divorce lawyer is $2,000 and up, plus court fees. If you are eligible, your area's Legal Aid Society can help based on your ability to pay. As to the 10-yr. green card process, if you are one who is careful about following directions, you can probably do it yourself. Good luck! Sounds like you do need to get out of that place.

So I have to stay here for now to start saving money. I can't believe I am in this situation. Yeah it is practical if I file my 10 year green card. Do you have a list of documents needed for the waiver?

[Brother Hesekiel 2,236]

Depending on what State you are reside in, it might be possible to go the route of an uncontested divorce. For that it is essential that your husband agrees with your assumption that your marriage is already dead and not worth salvaging.

Applying successfully for Removal of Conditions is not so much a matter of retaining an immigration attorney, but of being able to proof that you entered the marriage in good faith. For that, you'll need to collect evidence now, as it won't be as easy once your then-ex husband is living somewhere else.

What you really want to do is seek counceling for your husband's addiction, not only in order to help him, but also in order to prove that he was/is an alcoholic which ultimately led to the demise of your marriage. You need paperwork for the remainder of your journey.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

In some states you can go to the courthouse a pay a small amount for a "divorce packet" which contains all the common forms and instructions for a divorce. In California it is something like $15. Most of the forms are pretty self explanatory. There are filing fees and other fees but it is usually a matter of making sure you do the right things, keep the right documentation and you can almost do it yourself. If you did you VJ on your own you should be able to this on your own.

[anonymous2009 0]

Depending on what State you are reside in, it might be possible to go the route of an uncontested divorce. For that it is essential that your husband agrees with your assumption that your marriage is already dead and not worth salvaging.

Applying successfully for Removal of Conditions is not so much a matter of retaining an immigration attorney, but of being able to proof that you entered the marriage in good faith. For that, you'll need to collect evidence now, as it won't be as easy once your then-ex husband is living somewhere else.

What you really want to do is seek counceling for your husband's addiction, not only in order to help him, but also in order to prove that he was/is an alcoholic which ultimately led to the demise of your marriage. You need paperwork for the remainder of your journey.

I told him several times to seek help... nothing. I have insurance to pay for it but he won't do it. He rather talk about other people than talk about our situation. He is very defensive about his addiction.

[anonymous2009 0]

In some states you can go to the courthouse a pay a small amount for a "divorce packet" which contains all the common forms and instructions for a divorce. In California it is something like $15. Most of the forms are pretty self explanatory. There are filing fees and other fees but it is usually a matter of making sure you do the right things, keep the right documentation and you can almost do it yourself. If you did you VJ on your own you should be able to this on your own.

Thanks for this information but I'm not sure I can do this coz of my job

[Robby999 1,024]

If your husband is using again, you might want to consider finding a different place to live while you decide the best route for your future. I do not think staying around or with an active user will benefit you or your case if he is arrested or is bringing drugs into your home. You could be exposing yourself to possible arrest or questioning by authorities caused by your husband's drug use. Is there any friends or other places you could stay that would be a little safer and stable. I divorced my wife because of drugs and all the problems that seem to follow! I hate that you are going through this, but for the time being you should worry about yourself!

[Darnell 8,479]

Yikes.

Short term - set up your own bank accounts. Get to a branch on Saturday. Make sure all of your money goes there. If your company has auto-payment into the joint account, stop that on monday.

After you move out, if he can get counselling and recover himself, then maybe is some hope.

Just remember - you can FILE for divorce without an attorney - get to the county courthouse, talk to the clerk's office - they can point you to the law library there, and the law librarian will know what type of templates to use to file yourself, which templates they accept.

The filing fee should be minimal , also - this varies a lot based on where you are.

If is uncontested, no children from the two of you, no assets to divide, then you can actually file everything yourself, no lawyer needed. You might want to hire a paralegal for a few hours, to go over the documents, to have a review.

Now, if you file on Monday, for example, the divorce isn't automatic. Most states have a waiting period, plus you have to get on the court calendar. So, if he turns around, and IF you can trust him again, then you NOT have to finish up the divorce proceedings - that's always a possibility - I mention it now, in case God steps in and he has an epiphany (wife more powerful than the drugs ).

RE: handling AOS by yourself - others have mentioned gathering evidence that marriage was entered into, in good faith. You'll have to document that - there's a lot of good posts here on VJ about it, so I won't repeat them here .. You'll have to handle 'more evidence' than a regular AOS case, but I think, if you are detail-oriented and diligent, you'll do ok - not need attorney for this paperwork.

Good Luck, and GodSpeed.

[Lancelotte25 1]

What State are you living now? We have this atty in San Francisco, she's been my wife's lawyer since 1995 and she is the one who is helping us with our CR-1 petition too, I think she is a great lawyer.

e-mail her at alacau@earthlink.net if you are interested.

[Lancelotte25 1]

I really feel sorry for your situation, save money as long as you can.

You said that he doesn't have job, how come he has money for his vices?

You still don't have that fully grown wings to fly on your own because you mentioned that your GC is still conditional, save money for that's the only thing you can do for now.

Your husband is pissing me off!!

[thongd4me 69]

This is not DrPhil.com but VJ members (including myself) are more than happy to help.

I know you just joined yesterday but you've given no information about your visa status or otherwise that

could be helpful in assisting you in your stressful situation, except for telling about your stress.

Please identify your country of origin, visa status and what you expect to accomplish relative to your

staying in the US. Filling in the timeline would also be a great help because it shows what your status is.

Creating a timeline

Best of luck.

Click on my "Timeline" link to see my timeline - that will be similar to what your result looks like once you fill it out.

I'm guessing you are already somewhere in the AOS stage.

[sara..... 371]

i live in the state of oregon ......one of my elder sisters paid about 15 dollars for a divorce do it yourself kit at the court house then she applied for a fee waiver based on her inability to pay the fee for the divorce.......they approved the waiver......and if the husband didnt sign the documents she sent him she would have had to wait ninety days if he didnt contest it in writing or thru an attorney.......she was lucky she told him sign the papers or i will take the house if u contest it........he signed she was finished in thirty days time......hope this information helps

sara

[KarimaG 2]

The minimum cash down payment for a divorce lawyer is $2,000 and up, plus court fees. If you are eligible, your area's Legal Aid Society can help based on your ability to pay. As to the 10-yr. green card process, if you are one who is careful about following directions, you can probably do it yourself. Good luck! Sounds like you do need to get out of that place.

Call around to different attorneys. I got different fees from all of them, ranging anywhere from $2,500 to $600. I ended up paying only $600 for my divorce, but I had to wait a year for it to be final. Since we were emotional seperated for x amount of months, 'we both said 6 months', we were able to speed up the process by getting my divorce in 6 months rather than 12. But I had to pay $300 additonal for that.

All in all... in the state I was living in at the time, for just a regular no hassle divorce, both parties agreeing, it only cost $600. I applied for divorce in 2008 and was granted and signed and approved in 2009.

Hope this helps...