Can I sue divorce now?

[Gracie79 1]

I have been married for more than 5 years with a US permanent resident. Because of the long waiting period of family based immigration visa, our son and I reached the US in Oct, 2009 granted unconditional permanent residence. Before that, I spent 3 years studying in Canada and taking care of our son alone. My husband really took little care of us. He only went to see us twice a year, 10 days each time during my stay in Canada. When we just got married in May 2004, he treated me well. My life ruined since his boss sent him back to China, his home town to open a company for software outsourcing. He spent more than half a year annually in China. So he began to have an affair with some Chinese young girls. I don’t have evidence about that and don’t have time to gather evidence as I am busy with my study and taking care of our 2 years old son. He just told me that he was playing with them. When I reached the US, I found a lot of evidence. I found unusual close photos(kissing photos) he took with some Chinese young girls. I also found a young girl’s photo in his wallet, cell phone… He likes her very much, and there is other evidence he wants to marry her. He refused to open a mutual account with me and I cannot touch any of his money. He kept me staying at home taking care of the son, doing housework. He had a very high salary but he refused to share, so I had to live on my small savings gathered before I had my Master’s study. Even in Canada, he supported us very little. Even though we have been married for as long as 5 years, I just arrived here several months ago. Can I sue divorce now? Or I need to bear for a longer time. To be honest, during so many years’ mental abuse and economic abuse, I am accustomed to his cruelty. He admonished me last month, if I propose to divorce in future, he will try his best to revenge. I think what he meant is to go to USCIS to revoke my permanent residence. Or I cannot think out other ways he can revenge. I think he also wants to divorce, bigamy is not comfortable for them. And the young girl (19 years younger than him) he loves doesn’t know he has wife and son in the US. He cheated her to be single just like he cheated me to be single 5 years ago. Not until recently, I knew that he had a short marriage in the US before ours. He doesn’t want to sue divorce here, because the US divorce law protects the woman and child more. He wants to sue in China, there, the unscrupulous court will give him everything (divorce judgement, the child custody, the property, no spousal support) without my showing up. Both of us love our son actually. Whether he has already sued or not in China, I am not sure. Now I just want to ask for your advice after you see my story:

1) Can he revenge if I sue divorce now? Whether my unconditional permanent residence will be affected if he goes to USCIS? I don’t think he is the first one wants to do so, how USCIS deals with these affairs? I just want to know about it and I can prepare myself for that.

2) If he has already sued in China, can I sue again for divorce here? I know these two countries don’t recognize the law each other.

[sdw 10]

he cannot doing anything to take away your conditional greencard.

I don't know about filing in the US if he filed in China. Once divorce you can file to remove conditions, you will need to have prove that you married him in good faith.

[Dakine 26]

I have been married for more than 5 years with a US permanent resident. Because of the long waiting period of family based immigration visa, our son and I reached the US in Oct, 2009 granted unconditional permanent residence. Before that, I spent 3 years studying in Canada and taking care of our son alone. My husband really took little care of us. He only went to see us twice a year, 10 days each time during my stay in Canada. When we just got married in May 2004, he treated me well. My life ruined since his boss sent him back to China, his home town to open a company for software outsourcing. He spent more than half a year annually in China. So he began to have an affair with some Chinese young girls. I don’t have evidence about that and don’t have time to gather evidence as I am busy with my study and taking care of our 2 years old son. He just told me that he was playing with them. When I reached the US, I found a lot of evidence. I found unusual close photos(kissing photos) he took with some Chinese young girls. I also found a young girl’s photo in his wallet, cell phone… He likes her very much, and there is other evidence he wants to marry her. He refused to open a mutual account with me and I cannot touch any of his money. He kept me staying at home taking care of the son, doing housework. He had a very high salary but he refused to share, so I had to live on my small savings gathered before I had my Master’s study. Even in Canada, he supported us very little. Even though we have been married for as long as 5 years, I just arrived here several months ago. Can I sue divorce now? Or I need to bear for a longer time. To be honest, during so many years’ mental abuse and economic abuse, I am accustomed to his cruelty. He admonished me last month, if I propose to divorce in future, he will try his best to revenge. I think what he meant is to go to USCIS to revoke my permanent residence. Or I cannot think out other ways he can revenge. I think he also wants to divorce, bigamy is not comfortable for them. And the young girl (19 years younger than him) he loves doesn’t know he has wife and son in the US. He cheated her to be single just like he cheated me to be single 5 years ago. Not until recently, I knew that he had a short marriage in the US before ours. He doesn’t want to sue divorce here, because the US divorce law protects the woman and child more. He wants to sue in China, there, the unscrupulous court will give him everything (divorce judgement, the child custody, the property, no spousal support) without my showing up. Both of us love our son actually. Whether he has already sued or not in China, I am not sure. Now I just want to ask for your advice after you see my story:

1) Can he revenge if I sue divorce now? Whether my unconditional permanent residence will be affected if he goes to USCIS? I don’t think he is the first one wants to do so, how USCIS deals with these affairs? I just want to know about it and I can prepare myself for that.

2) If he has already sued in China, can I sue again for divorce here? I know these two countries don’t recognize the law each other.

Do you have a 10 year green card ?

Edited December 10, 2009 by Dakine

[Usui Takumi 1,562]

You can divorce here (I assume you married here). Did you register the marriage elsewhere? With your 10 year card he can't effect your immigration status. (Unless you lied on a form somewhere...like you committed genocide or something... and he has proof....still very unlikely.)

Edited December 10, 2009 by Sousuke

[sachinky 465]

You have your 10 year GC on you? Yes? Then your scumbag husband cannot touch you. He cannot "revenge" you or deport you. Only the USCIS can, that too with hard proof of fraud on the beneficiary's part.

Go ahead and file for divorce in the U.S.

[spectheintro 18]

If you have an unconditional greencard then it's just that--unconditional. Your husband cannot take it away, as far as I know. Someone else may be able to correct me, but it's my understanding that you can divorce and apply for citizenship/renew your greencard/etc without any problems.

[candelari 0]

I have been married for more than 5 years with a US permanent resident. Because of the long waiting period of family based immigration visa, our son and I reached the US in Oct, 2009 granted unconditional permanent residence. Before that, I spent 3 years studying in Canada and taking care of our son alone. My husband really took little care of us. He only went to see us twice a year, 10 days each time during my stay in Canada. When we just got married in May 2004, he treated me well. My life ruined since his boss sent him back to China, his home town to open a company for software outsourcing. He spent more than half a year annually in China. So he began to have an affair with some Chinese young girls. I don’t have evidence about that and don’t have time to gather evidence as I am busy with my study and taking care of our 2 years old son. He just told me that he was playing with them. When I reached the US, I found a lot of evidence. I found unusual close photos(kissing photos) he took with some Chinese young girls. I also found a young girl’s photo in his wallet, cell phone… He likes her very much, and there is other evidence he wants to marry her. He refused to open a mutual account with me and I cannot touch any of his money. He kept me staying at home taking care of the son, doing housework. He had a very high salary but he refused to share, so I had to live on my small savings gathered before I had my Master’s study. Even in Canada, he supported us very little. Even though we have been married for as long as 5 years, I just arrived here several months ago. Can I sue divorce now? Or I need to bear for a longer time. To be honest, during so many years’ mental abuse and economic abuse, I am accustomed to his cruelty. He admonished me last month, if I propose to divorce in future, he will try his best to revenge. I think what he meant is to go to USCIS to revoke my permanent residence. Or I cannot think out other ways he can revenge. I think he also wants to divorce, bigamy is not comfortable for them. And the young girl (19 years younger than him) he loves doesn’t know he has wife and son in the US. He cheated her to be single just like he cheated me to be single 5 years ago. Not until recently, I knew that he had a short marriage in the US before ours. He doesn’t want to sue divorce here, because the US divorce law protects the woman and child more. He wants to sue in China, there, the unscrupulous court will give him everything (divorce judgement, the child custody, the property, no spousal support) without my showing up. Both of us love our son actually. Whether he has already sued or not in China, I am not sure. Now I just want to ask for your advice after you see my story:

1) Can he revenge if I sue divorce now? Whether my unconditional permanent residence will be affected if he goes to USCIS? I don’t think he is the first one wants to do so, how USCIS deals with these affairs? I just want to know about it and I can prepare myself for that.

2) If he has already sued in China, can I sue again for divorce here? I know these two countries don’t recognize the law each other.

you have been under his abuse for a loooong time so you are scared and confused. He didn;t give you the green card, U.S goverment did. It is also up to the U.S goverment to decide to revoke it or not, which in your case totally irrelavant....

Find a good lawyer and find our about properity sharing etc. in your state. You husband can not file and finalize divorce on your behalf without your approval in any other country. even if you approve that time you can always change your mind and make it invalid... Check wikipedia....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_in_the_United_States

You have a child together and he needs to support that child.... Any court in U.S will decide that way...

Good Luck

[candelari 0]

You can divorce here (I assume you married here). Did you register the marriage elsewhere? With your 10 year card he can't effect your immigration status. (Unless you lied on a form somewhere...like you committed genocide or something... and he has proof....still very unlikely.)

To answer that

You can get a divorce here regardles whereever you got married as long as the country you got married recognize the divorce...

since you got your green card based on your marriage, that means your marriage was recognized and accepted by U.S so you can (and should) divorce here ...

Edited December 10, 2009 by ebruli

[chinese_mutt 11]

I'm sorry. Too much time apart do tend to make a marriage go sour quickly.

If you opt to get a divorce, I believe you can. I'm not sure if you have to wait to be a resident of the state though to file the divorce. In some states it takes 6 months of physical residence to get residency. If he filed in China, I believe the divorce will be recognized here too.

I hope you find the right path for you and your child. Be strong, things will work out in the end.

[mrs. wife! 3]

Guys, a question..... coming from the point that they are married for 5ys, which 3 she has spent in Canada without him, can't he lie to the USCIS saying that the marriage was not in a good faith? How would she prove that it was if she doesn't even have a joint account with him?

Gracie79, sorry to hear your story.... hope everything will work out for you and your little son

[candelari 0]

Guys, a question..... coming from the point that they are married for 5ys, which 3 she has spent in Canada without him, can't he lie to the USCIS saying that the marriage was not in a good faith? How would she prove that it was if she doesn't even have a joint account with him?

Gracie79, sorry to hear your story.... hope everything will work out for you and your little son

He can "and will" say anything he wants but under the circumstances having a child, 5 years together, traveling, study etc.... she has a good case to proof the marriage was bone fide. He on the other hand needs to proof otherwise . Unless he has her signed confession or e-mails to her friends stating it was solely for green card he has no case..

I read somewhere that USC has 5 years to file for fraud complain (he is not even USC). I may not even be correct. Don't be scared lady, divorce and green card two irrelavant thing, he can not touch you....

I would love to see him answering the question of why he left you in Canada 3 years by yourself with kid and didn't do anything if he believed this was fraud...

Edited December 10, 2009 by ebruli

[mrs. wife! 3]

He can "and will" say anything he wants but under the circumstances having a child, 5 years together, traveling, study etc.... she has a good case to proof the marriage was bone fide. He on the other hand needs to proof otherwise . Unless he has her signed confession or e-mails to her friends stating it was solely for green card he has no case..

I read somewhere that USC has 5 years to file for fraud complain (he is not even USC). I may not even be correct. Don't be scared lady, divorce and green card two irrelavant thing, he can not touch you....

I would love to see him answering the question of why he left you in Canada 3 years by yourself with kid and didn't do anything if he believed this was fraud...

Ah ok, gotcha! Thanks

[Gracie79 1]

Thank you all.

I have a 10 year green card.

I am forced to wait out of the US. It's the US immigration law. The waiting period Family based immigration visa for spouse and children of legal permanent resident is 5 years. During the 5 years, we are not allowed to apply for a non-immigrant visa. You are US citizens, so you are not familiar with the law. The marriage is 100% true as we have a 2 year old son. The 5 years living apart is required by the US immigration law.

[mrs. wife! 3]

Thank you all.

I have a 10 year green card.

I am forced to wait out of the US. It's the US immigration law. The waiting period Family based immigration visa for spouse and children of legal permanent resident is 5 years. During the 5 years, we are not allowed to apply for a non-immigrant visa. You are US citizens, so you are not familiar with the law. The marriage is 100% true as we have a 2 year old son. The 5 years living apart is required by the US immigration law.

Ahh ok, I see. So you just got the 10y GC now? When you moved to the US?

Well, according with what people are saying here, you will be just fine. The 10 year GC is unconditional and he can do nothing to hurt you.

Good luck with your process and keep strong.

[Dakine 26]

Thank you all.

I have a 10 year green card.

I am forced to wait out of the US. It's the US immigration law. The waiting period Family based immigration visa for spouse and children of legal permanent resident is 5 years. During the 5 years, we are not allowed to apply for a non-immigrant visa. You are US citizens, so you are not familiar with the law. The marriage is 100% true as we have a 2 year old son. The 5 years living apart is required by the US immigration law.

HUH???