K-1 with a Caveat

[Chris_Жанна 11]

If it's so illegal to get married in the US to someone under 18, why do they allow under age marriage with parental consent? It's perfectly legal to marry someone under 18 in the US, the requirements vary by state.

Yes, just last year in SC a law was overturned that said you could marry a 14 year old. I think they bumped it up to 15/16 now.

[Shad and Dani 3]

I say wait until she's 16 and go for it man! Life is too short to be unhappy. I'm not a lawyer, but it's my understanding that if she is old enough to marry in your state the K1 is an option. Good luck!

[N M 96]

As previously stated, to even petition you need to demonstrate that you are legally able to marry. So you'll need to wait until she's 16.

Michigan law also states that her parents will need to appear IN PERSON to give consent - so I suggest they fly out to Michigan and do this BEFORE you petition. Without their consent, you aren't legally able to marry and so it's likely your petition would be denied.

That's the legal side.

I know you don't want "moral comments", but frankly you post something like this and you are going to get them. Like most of the previous comments I think this whole thing is nuts and needs a serious rethink. What's wrong with a long engagement? See who you both really are in a couple of years? If you are still together and in love, then petition when she's 18 or 19 or 21. As the "adult" in this relationship, you owe her that.

BTW - what's happening with her education? Was she planning on leaving school after GCSEs anyway? Or will she enrol at high school in MI? How easy will that be? Will she make friends being a "recently arrived 16 year old married Brit"? Will those unusual circumstances mark her out for shunning at best/ bullying at worst? All things you need to SERIOUSLY consider.

[*JG* 2]

I just had to look up the statutory rape age laws in the state of Michigan before I responded. You seem safe there as long as she is over 16.

Knowing what I knew at 16, I'd say she isn't prepared for some lifelong union. But, I know love makes you do crazy things. At 21, I don't think you are too old for her so, no issues there.

I say if this is what you want to do, then get all the necessary permissions and make sure you have lots and lots of evidence. It will probably be an uphill battle for you. I wish you the very best of luck.

[canadian_wife 1,823]

I don't doubt that you absolutly love this girl and want to bring her to the US. I am concerned about her. I am concerned that, although she may say she is, she is not emotionally ready to be a wife. It is a huge committment and one that she may not be prepared for once she arrives in the US. Plus, she's a high school student, let her be a high school student and enjoy all those wonderful parties, football games, homecoming, prom, etc.

If you honestly want to marry this girl and aren't going through the 'oh my gosh, I love her and HAVE to be with her' impulsivity then please follow your heart - but be prepared for a trying journey and marriage

If this is truly love, then a few years won't be a drop in the bucket for your relationship

How long have you known her? How much time have you spent with her?

Edited December 10, 2009 by canadian_wife

[Mestis 1]

As previously stated, to even petition you need to demonstrate that you are legally able to marry. So you'll need to wait until she's 16.

Michigan law also states that her parents will need to appear IN PERSON to give consent - so I suggest they fly out to Michigan and do this BEFORE you petition. Without their consent, you aren't legally able to marry and so it's likely your petition would be denied.

That's the legal side.

Same in the County I got married in Illinois. The parents have to show in person to give consent to get the wedding license.

Edited December 10, 2009 by Mestis

[aydi 0]

I don't doubt that you absolutly love this girl and want to bring her to the US. I am concerned about her. I am concerned that, although she may say she is, she is not emotionally ready to be a wife. It is a huge committment and one that she may not be prepared for once she arrives in the US. Plus, she's a high school student, let her be a high school student and enjoy all those wonderful parties, football games, homecoming, prom, etc.

If you honestly want to marry this girl and aren't going through the 'oh my gosh, I love her and HAVE to be with her' impulsivity then please follow your heart - but be prepared for a trying journey and marriage

If this is truly love, then a few years won't be a drop in the bucket for your relationship

How long have you known her? How much time have you spent with her?

I've known her for close to four years now. We'd met in an online art community and shared common interests in drawing and animation. We remained friends for the first couple of years, but with our interests and experiences came a very strong bond, and eventually love. I'm not the kind to go looking for a socially inappropriate relationship, but I fell in love with who I did for the same reasons anybody else finds love, and a person's age is sometimes only a number, not a reflection of their character or demeanor.

We've spent over a month's time together in person, with countless phone calls, text-messages and instant messages in between. I have a good relationship with her parents, who I've cooperated with every step of the way, and they know and approve of our plans to marry.

Every few years after this point is more time spent apart, but not wanting to be. Why let that bucket fill on loneliness and longing when we have the option to be together?

[aydi 0]

As previously stated, to even petition you need to demonstrate that you are legally able to marry. So you'll need to wait until she's 16.

Michigan law also states that her parents will need to appear IN PERSON to give consent - so I suggest they fly out to Michigan and do this BEFORE you petition. Without their consent, you aren't legally able to marry and so it's likely your petition would be denied.

That's the legal side.

I know you don't want "moral comments", but frankly you post something like this and you are going to get them. Like most of the previous comments I think this whole thing is nuts and needs a serious rethink. What's wrong with a long engagement? See who you both really are in a couple of years? If you are still together and in love, then petition when she's 18 or 19 or 21. As the "adult" in this relationship, you owe her that.

BTW - what's happening with her education? Was she planning on leaving school after GCSEs anyway? Or will she enrol at high school in MI? How easy will that be? Will she make friends being a "recently arrived 16 year old married Brit"? Will those unusual circumstances mark her out for shunning at best/ bullying at worst? All things you need to SERIOUSLY consider.

Morality applied to this circumstance seems to disregard that both she and I have arrived at this decision through careful consideration and a long time spent deciding on future compatibility. It's easy to say that she's acting irrationally, or that I'm acting irresponsibly, but in either case, are you judging our ages, or our experiences? Is it really so hard to believe that a 16 year old can make the decision to marry? Law makers in various states still see it fit to deem that an appropriate age, and a person's age is least of all determinate of if that person can fall in love. If we're all bound to marry off eventually, why do we have to be alone for so long before society lets us do it without staring down their noses at us?

Most of you have a love you've had to overcome obstacles for; consider yourselves lucky that your happiness isn't the subject of moral outrage and please bear in mind that I didn't come to this forum to be reminded that my fiancée's age makes her subject to a 16 year-old's lack of maturity. It's the lowest hanging fruit of this subject and not something helpful to my cause.

We hope to be together by late fall of next year. She finishes school before then in the UK, and we'll deal with the US high school equivalence details as soon as we've settled the matter of her residence.

Edited December 10, 2009 by aydi

[N M 96]

As previously stated, to even petition you need to demonstrate that you are legally able to marry. So you'll need to wait until she's 16.

Michigan law also states that her parents will need to appear IN PERSON to give consent - so I suggest they fly out to Michigan and do this BEFORE you petition. Without their consent, you aren't legally able to marry and so it's likely your petition would be denied.

That's the legal side.

I know you don't want "moral comments", but frankly you post something like this and you are going to get them. Like most of the previous comments I think this whole thing is nuts and needs a serious rethink. What's wrong with a long engagement? See who you both really are in a couple of years? If you are still together and in love, then petition when she's 18 or 19 or 21. As the "adult" in this relationship, you owe her that.

BTW - what's happening with her education? Was she planning on leaving school after GCSEs anyway? Or will she enrol at high school in MI? How easy will that be? Will she make friends being a "recently arrived 16 year old married Brit"? Will those unusual circumstances mark her out for shunning at best/ bullying at worst? All things you need to SERIOUSLY consider.

Morality applied to this circumstance seems to disregard that both she and I have arrived at this decision through careful consideration and a long time spent deciding on future compatibility. It's easy to say that she's acting irrationally, or that I'm acting irresponsibly, but in either case, are you judging our ages, or our experiences? Is it really so hard to believe that a 16 year old can make the decision to marry? Law makers in various states still see it fit to deem that an appropriate age, and a person's age is least of all determinate of if that person can fall in love. If we're all bound to marry off eventually, why do we have to be alone for so long before society lets us do it without staring down their noses at us?

Most of you have a love you've had to overcome obstacles for; consider yourselves lucky that your happiness isn't the subject of moral outrage and please bear in mind that I didn't come to this forum to be reminded that my fiancée's age makes her subject to a 16 year-old's lack of maturity. It's the lowest hanging fruit of this subject and not something helpful to my cause.

We hope to be together by late fall of next year. She finishes school before then in the UK, and we'll deal with the US high school equivalence details as soon as we've settled the matter of her residence.

She's only 15 for a start.

[aydi 0]

As previously stated, to even petition you need to demonstrate that you are legally able to marry. So you'll need to wait until she's 16.

Michigan law also states that her parents will need to appear IN PERSON to give consent - so I suggest they fly out to Michigan and do this BEFORE you petition. Without their consent, you aren't legally able to marry and so it's likely your petition would be denied.

That's the legal side.

I know you don't want "moral comments", but frankly you post something like this and you are going to get them. Like most of the previous comments I think this whole thing is nuts and needs a serious rethink. What's wrong with a long engagement? See who you both really are in a couple of years? If you are still together and in love, then petition when she's 18 or 19 or 21. As the "adult" in this relationship, you owe her that.

BTW - what's happening with her education? Was she planning on leaving school after GCSEs anyway? Or will she enrol at high school in MI? How easy will that be? Will she make friends being a "recently arrived 16 year old married Brit"? Will those unusual circumstances mark her out for shunning at best/ bullying at worst? All things you need to SERIOUSLY consider.

Morality applied to this circumstance seems to disregard that both she and I have arrived at this decision through careful consideration and a long time spent deciding on future compatibility. It's easy to say that she's acting irrationally, or that I'm acting irresponsibly, but in either case, are you judging our ages, or our experiences? Is it really so hard to believe that a 16 year old can make the decision to marry? Law makers in various states still see it fit to deem that an appropriate age, and a person's age is least of all determinate of if that person can fall in love. If we're all bound to marry off eventually, why do we have to be alone for so long before society lets us do it without staring down their noses at us?

Most of you have a love you've had to overcome obstacles for; consider yourselves lucky that your happiness isn't the subject of moral outrage and please bear in mind that I didn't come to this forum to be reminded that my fiancée's age makes her subject to a 16 year-old's lack of maturity. It's the lowest hanging fruit of this subject and not something helpful to my cause.

We hope to be together by late fall of next year. She finishes school before then in the UK, and we'll deal with the US high school equivalence details as soon as we've settled the matter of her residence.

She's only 15 for a start.

I'll ask the question again with that in mind... Is it really so hard to believe that a 15 year old can make the decision to marry? Kindly replace "16" with "15" in all prior references I made, however the point I'm trying to make remains relevant. We're pursuing the prospect of marriage when she's 16, so that's the mindset I was working with.

Edited December 10, 2009 by aydi

[canadian_wife 1,823]

She made the decision to marry when she was 15 correct? You met her when she was 11

Yes, in my opinion, it is so hard to believe

[aydi 0]

She made the decision to marry when she was 15 correct? You met her when she was 11

Yes, in my opinion, it is so hard to believe

Close to four years from this point makes her 13 when we first spoke. The year isn't an exact number unless she was born on the first of January, but now we're just splitting hairs and reinforcing an age stereotype, which is why I mentioned being friends from a certain point and then beginning a relationship together.

Edited December 10, 2009 by aydi

[leith@Ievgeniia 8]

not looking at the moral side of this!! which is huge.

here is a suggestion. if you love her and you can marry in few moths to to england and marry her and live there. support her as wife and let her stay with her fiends and family for a few years. then apply for married visa and bring her to here. that way you can easily prove and show you are in long term committed relaitonship.

and you will know if she is right one for you and she is right for you. DUDE 15 yrd old girl will change as often as weather.

and why are u intrested in somebody so young? just intrested on that is all

[Bern. 3]

I know for a fact that most girls at 15-18 have a dream about being married but it doesn't actually hold true. I met my husband when I was 14, he was 15 and we married when I was 19 and he was 20. I know that you want to be together and that you're in love but I would wait until she's at least 18. At 15, she still doesn't know what she wants, and trust me...people change a lot from 15-18...just a thought. Good luck anyway.

[TracyTN 237]

Is it really so hard to believe that a 16 year old can make the decision to marry?

No it isn't. Happens all the time - but is it a decision they end up sticking to, or one that comes to a successful conclusion? Not normally.

I think you have all your immigration bases covered, though I didn't catch your age (you may have said it but I missed it). Relationships where one potential spouse is very young are more scrutinized, even at a relatively 'easy' consulate like London. Any age difference will heighten that scrutiny.

Issues beyond that (moral or otherwise) are bound to be lessons you'll both learn the hard way. It's not going to be easy - even those of us of a more reasonable age have had issues with adjustments for the fiance/e who is emigrating. I can't help but think those will be magnified in your situation.

I wish you luck.