For Couples Who Met Online...

[Nizzy 1]

Oooh, thank ye, LizandPat. I get a kick out of my views on Flickr. So, thanks!

Your pictures are indeed cool! We also had an east meets west kind of wedding. (but in the US)

Those are always the best! I like to see the infusion of cultures...

[NickD 203]

My issue is not with the couples who talk for several months, decide to meet in person, see if they hit it off in-person, akin to their virtual communication. Like you said, one can't live in a fantasy forever. Some concrete move has to be made. What I'm wondering more about are those couples who talk for a few months, say "I love you" and even decide to get engaged without meeting the other person. Then they fly half way around the world to marry them on the first meeting. THAT is something I am unable to comprehend and would like to understand more about.

Well, it is what it is, you know?

Given extreme long distances, finances, no visa waiver privileges, etcetera, some people are just willing to make the leap of faith.

Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

I'd say the odds of success or failure for those couples is probably about the same as any conventional relationship - 50/50.

Would place the odds of finding that "soulmate" on the web tantamount to winning the lottery, but your odds do become in your favor the more tickets you buy or the more exposure you have.

In my case, really had no intention of ever getting married again, had a very expensive and bitter divorce, unbelievable bills to pay, and dependent children to take care of and support. You get lonely without another adult to talk to, yeah, some church socials, local single clubs, weddings, some mild dating, but really didn't care to listen to a woman constantly talking about her kids and grandkids. Internet was ideal for meeting people, could stay home and watch the kids. Just by accident, met a woman in the same situation as me. She also had no intention of getting remarried due to a very bitter experience. But we started to sharing our daily experiences and problems. I had solutions for her, she had solutions for me.

Did occur to me that maybe the person I wanted to meet didn't even own a computer or knew how to use one. But over months that started off lightly, then nightly calls, with morning and lunch calls or chatting, we really grew a dependence on each other. We also discussed many other subjects, sex was not one of them and learned we really had a lot in common. After over nine months of this, said I would like to meet her. She had to get time off of work, find a baby sitter, and I agreed to pay for the plane ticket, so that took another couple of months. Our first meeting was pure magic, but could have easily gone the other way. After three days of the best days in our life, ask her to marry me, she said yes before I could even finish asking the question. Then came immigration that added another year to that. we also survived that.

Got depressed yesterday, a large dental bill not covered by insurance and they jacked up our property taxes again. She just smiled and said, nothing we can't handle, said, thanks, I needed to hear that.

And as a veteran of a foreign was, I was being accused of committing fraud? I didn't like that, but her calmness in matters like this was extremely reassuring. It was a very happy day for us when she received her USC.

[Wyatt's Torch 45]

Would place the odds of finding that "soulmate" on the web tantamount to winning the lottery, but your odds do become in your favor the more tickets you buy or the more exposure you have.

Judging by the amount of stories in this thread alone, that's a lottery I'd gladly buy a ticket in...

Honestly, I think the odds are BETTER than meeting in other traditional ways, since most of them are superficial (gal looks pretty, guy hits on her, gal spurns or flirts, THEN they get to know each other). Basically, love can happen in any amount of ways. I don't like the term "soulmate", but for all intents and purposes, that's what my wife and I are...and we met on the web. No lottery odds there...just a collusion of circumstances, same as most folks on these forums.

[thongd4me 69]

My issue is not with the couples who talk for several months, decide to meet in person, see if they hit it off in-person, akin to their virtual communication. Like you said, one can't live in a fantasy forever. Some concrete move has to be made. What I'm wondering more about are those couples who talk for a few months, say "I love you" and even decide to get engaged without meeting the other person. Then they fly half way around the world to marry them on the first meeting. THAT is something I am unable to comprehend and would like to understand more about.

Well, it is what it is, you know?

Given extreme long distances, finances, no visa waiver privileges, etcetera, some people are just willing to make the leap of faith.

Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

I'd say the odds of success or failure for those couples is probably about the same as any conventional relationship - 50/50.

Would place the odds of finding that "soulmate" on the web tantamount to winning the lottery, but your odds do become in your favor the more tickets you buy or the more exposure you have.

In my case, really had no intention of ever getting married again, had a very expensive and bitter divorce, unbelievable bills to pay, and dependent children to take care of and support. You get lonely without another adult to talk to, yeah, some church socials, local single clubs, weddings, some mild dating, but really didn't care to listen to a woman constantly talking about her kids and grandkids. Internet was ideal for meeting people, could stay home and watch the kids. Just by accident, met a woman in the same situation as me. She also had no intention of getting remarried due to a very bitter experience. But we started to sharing our daily experiences and problems. I had solutions for her, she had solutions for me.

Did occur to me that maybe the person I wanted to meet didn't even own a computer or knew how to use one. But over months that started off lightly, then nightly calls, with morning and lunch calls or chatting, we really grew a dependence on each other. We also discussed many other subjects, sex was not one of them and learned we really had a lot in common.This was also my most important rule - it's a good one! After over nine months of this, said I would like to meet her. She had to get time off of work, find a baby sitter, and I agreed to pay for the plane ticket, so that took another couple of months. Our first meeting was pure magic, but could have easily gone the other way. After three days of the best days in our life, ask her to marry me, she said yes before I could even finish asking the question. Then came immigration that added another year to that. we also survived that.

Got depressed yesterday, a large dental bill not covered by insurance and they jacked up our property taxes again. She just smiled and said, nothing we can't handle, said, thanks, I needed to hear that.

And as a veteran of a foreign was, I was being accused of committing fraud? I didn't like that, but her calmness in matters like this was extremely reassuring. It was a very happy day for us when she received her USC.

[SunDrop 59]

I totally forgot I'd posted this thread. lol

It's turned into both a warm fuzzy read and an interesting discussion, so thrilled because it's actually fascinating.

I would never choose to fall in love with someone who's in a different country, but having said that I have moments when I wonder if we'd have ever ended up together if we'd lived in the same town and met in a conventional way. It was the hours and hours of having nothing but talking that allowed us to get to know each other as deeply as we do now. The fact that I could tell him about times in my life that are difficult to recall but nonetheless formed who I am today and didn't have to feel self-conscious about the tears that were streaming down my face at the time. I can't talk when I cry because I hate the way people sound when they talk through tears. It also allowed him to build a relationship without 'losing his batchelorhood'. I don't mean that he would talk to me and then go out dating others, but rather that independence and lack of accountability that goes with being single. He has had time to mature into himself and realise that marriages based on our kind of love - namely friendship first - are the ones that last. If you can't communicate as a couple, then you're never going to make it out the other side relatively happily. And if there's one thing that relationships that started with an online meeting can do, is communicate with each other.

There's no doubt that long distance is heartwrenching at times. There are days when I just need a hug. I have moments when I want to tell him something I've been thinking about, usually something that's sweet or romantic, and instead of just being able to nuzzle up to him and say it, I have to call. Inevitably, he misses the call, has left his phone in the truck, was in the middle of some crucial battle against aliens invading a post-apocolyptic world or whathaveyou, and even if he calls back 15 minutes later, the moment has passed. I'll still tell him, but it's not spontaneous.

His formal proposal, less than a week ago, came after he realised how much he values us as a couple and how much I actually mean to him. I nudge without nagging, support and encourage him to be all that I see in him and his potential. He allows me to be weak without judgement, picks me up when I'm flagging or simply, quietly and respectfully takes the reigns when I need him to. We're each other's best friend.

And that is why we're getting married.

[FortLaudy 10]

I gave up on online dating because the person I was talking to online always turned out to not be as they portrayed themselves online, or perhaps what I had in my mind of what they were meant to be, so for me it was a bad experience. I met my hubby at the dogpark, so it was great cause immediately we had one common interest, and besides that we were set up on a date there, by a friend who knew both of us very well and thought we'd be perfect for each other, and boy was she right!