Are you using me for a greencard?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

where did ya_falaha said anything about American women??? where did she call you, personally, a hillbilly? #######, you are really, really pushing it.

You seriously need to move on. Pronto.

Len,

I never said that she called all women trailer trash. I dont like that expression just like someone mexican would resent someone calling someone a wetback or other derogatory term. I think trailer trash is an offensive term just because it demonises someone for where they live.

And I have to move on how? This is a mena board and I am not insulting anyone. Visit please but please do not try to run the boards. We are having a discussion and you are very welcome to be here...

Whats love got to do with it?

[chinese_mutt 11]

I don't know, I think it's possible that there was love in some of these "green card relationships". Maybe not initially, but sometimes love develops over time. I think family/cultural pressures often come into play that I can't fully understand.

Well, I agree to a certain extent.

People for ages have gotten married for different reasons: money, security, immigration, family pressure/customs, love, lust, etc. Doesn't mean that if you didn't marry for love that the marriage is doomed. What I was referring to are those who really do just marry to get GC and divorce you as soon as the gc arrived in the mailbox. Those are the people who never loved you, they never even respected you as a person in the first place.

I admire those who marry for immigration purpose or to better their life ONLY, and only if they stuck it out til the end. Make a life with the person they chose as real married couple, whether love grows or not, as long as they are commited to each other. My grandparents didn't know each other until they came face to face in the altar, they never got divorce or even thought about it.

However, as most marriages that involves immigration, I cringe at some of the post here where it is too easy to blame the beneficiary for being a "GC wh*re" or "GC scammer" or "GC hunter". We fail to realize that 50% of the marriages here in US ends up in divorce anyway. Marriages fails, it doesn't mean there is an automatic immigration fraud. It is sickening really how we so easily can accuse people with immigration fraud. While I know that immigration fraud happens all the time, I think without really fully knowing the day to day household happenings from both sides we will never really know if there is or is not an immigration fraud.

Edited December 10, 2009 by chinese_mutt

[Chica Yeyé 41]

where did ya_falaha said anything about American women??? where did she call you, personally, a hillbilly? #######, you are really, really pushing it.

You seriously need to move on. Pronto.

Len,

I never said that she called all women trailer trash. I dont like that expression just like someone mexican would resent someone calling someone a wetback or other derogatory term. I think trailer trash is an offensive term just because it demonises someone for where they live.

And I have to move on how? This is a mena board and I am not insulting anyone. Visit please but please do not try to run the boards. We are having a discussion and you are very welcome to be here...

Whats love got to do with it?

Oh no you didn't. I could say the same thing to you . You have no visa journey pending, you are now divorced from your MENA husband (who you will agree was a complet azzwipe) so feel free to visit but try to not pander your ideas to people. And if you want a discussion, bring it. Just be ready to respond.

If you think of love and unicorns, roses, and rainbows; I can tell you: it does not work that way. Unless you're 12 and have a crush on your math teacher. A marriage requires much more than that - it implies commitment, complicity, and sometimes making changes and sacrifices. I would think a mature woman would know that. But then again, seems I am mistaken.

Why don't you answer your own question? What's love gotta do with it?

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Have you seen any of the pics of some of the wives of the MENA men? They ARE trailer trash. Come on let's be honest here. And not just trash because they live in a trailer. Trash because of the way they act and present themselves. You mean to tell me a handsome man is going to go for an unattractive, low class, poorly dressed, poorly mannered woman? I blame the men for conniving these women but I also blame the women for falling for these men. Some ppl need to take a good look in the mirror and realize they cannot be attractive to a young, handsome man. If a young, handsome man will not look at you in the US, what makes you think a young, handsome man is going to want you from another country? That doesn't mean some scrawny looking scoundrel couldn't also scam someone. What I'm saying here is that there's a thing called compatibility which many of the MENA couples do not have. No compatibility in looks, size, age, interests, mannerisms, education, finances, etc. Why can't ppl know their role? Sure an unattractive, heavy, older woman can be perfectly lovely and wonderful but she has no business going after a handsome 25 yr old stud. That's just asking for trouble.

Being thin does not protect you. Being beautiful does not make you more lovable. My daughter's father used a beautiful, nice bodied, beautiful faced non trailer living 23 year old to get here. He dumped her right after he removed conditions.

I have seen very beautiful women get used and some fat ones still in relationships.

It all goes back to WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

The question remains.. Whats love got to do with it?

Sometimes the outside parties have a bigger problem with the couple than the people involved.

Maybe the guy is in to BBW or mature women.... maybe he loves her.

Whats love got to do with this? Thats my question.

[ya falaha! 0]

Trailer trash is not a racial slur. Just because someone lives in a trailer doesn't mean they are trash. It's a two-fer. Trash that lives in trailers. You know the kind I speak of. Multiple baby daddies, ####### azz clothes, no manners, f-ed up hair-dos, dirty, loud, just low class all around. Tell me there aren't MENA men who haven't married these types not realizing what they got themselves into.

where did ya_falaha said anything about American women??? where did she call you, personally, a hillbilly? #######, you are really, really pushing it.

You seriously need to move on. Pronto.

Len,

I never said that she called all women trailer trash. I dont like that expression just like someone mexican would resent someone calling someone a wetback or other derogatory term. I think trailer trash is an offensive term just because it demonises someone for where they live.

And I have to move on how? This is a mena board and I am not insulting anyone. Visit please but please do not try to run the boards. We are having a discussion and you are very welcome to be here...

Whats love got to do with it?

[Jenn! 918]

Hey Tina Turner, I wonder if I'm the only one who has lost track of what kind of answer you're looking for.

You want people who think they were used to comment on whether they think they were loved or not?

Edited December 10, 2009 by Jenn!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

where did ya_falaha said anything about American women??? where did she call you, personally, a hillbilly? #######, you are really, really pushing it.

You seriously need to move on. Pronto.

Len,

I never said that she called all women trailer trash. I dont like that expression just like someone mexican would resent someone calling someone a wetback or other derogatory term. I think trailer trash is an offensive term just because it demonises someone for where they live.

And I have to move on how? This is a mena board and I am not insulting anyone. Visit please but please do not try to run the boards. We are having a discussion and you are very welcome to be here...

Whats love got to do with it?

Oh no you didn't. I could say the same thing to you . You have no visa journey pending, you are now divorced from your MENA husband (who you will agree was a complet azzwipe) so feel free to visit but try to not pander your ideas to people. And if you want a discussion, bring it. Just be ready to respond.

If you think of love and unicorns, roses, and rainbows; I can tell you: it does not work that way. Unless you're 12 and have a crush on your math teacher. A marriage requires much more than that - it implies commitment, complicity, and sometimes making changes and sacrifices. I would think a mature woman would know that. But then again, seems I am mistaken.

Why don't you answer your own question? What's love gotta do with it?

I am the mother of a mena child. I am still legally married to my mena spouse and after travelling there 4 times and going to 5 different mena countries, I still think my question is very valid.

My daughter is an arab and a muslim and I still live in the community. You do neither but you hang out on the boards. Lets continue the discussion and I would like to hear from people MARRIED or FORMERLY MARRIED to mena people.. Onlookers like you are interesting but you dont have the same perspective...My daughter still attends all muslim events, she has muslim classmates and friends and has an identifyingly muslim name. I think love is extremely important as well as forgiveness in enduring these relationships. While you are interesting Len, you dont really have a role in this because its not your story.. I want to hear from the women whos story it is...not so much onlookers .. please dont take offense

Thank you Len for your input anyway..

Love has everything to do with it

[ya falaha! 0]

No dip. Nowhere did I state only beautiful ppl are lovable. I said old, heavy, unattractive women are not compatible with young, attractive men. People should find a compatible mate. If you're average don't go for a supermodel type. That's what I'm saying here. We have women here who are dumbfounded because their marriage didn't work out and of course cry fraud because they have no other explanation as to why things didn't work. Not just age...I'm talking many other factors. If you're gonna pretend you're someone's mama don't be surprised if they behave like a child. Don't baby a man and buy him gifts and give him an allowance and then expect him to come here and pay your bills. You're sending a mixed message. I'm dumbfounded that ppl are shocked when their marriage breaks up when the writing has been on the wall all the while.

Have you seen any of the pics of some of the wives of the MENA men? They ARE trailer trash. Come on let's be honest here. And not just trash because they live in a trailer. Trash because of the way they act and present themselves. You mean to tell me a handsome man is going to go for an unattractive, low class, poorly dressed, poorly mannered woman? I blame the men for conniving these women but I also blame the women for falling for these men. Some ppl need to take a good look in the mirror and realize they cannot be attractive to a young, handsome man. If a young, handsome man will not look at you in the US, what makes you think a young, handsome man is going to want you from another country? That doesn't mean some scrawny looking scoundrel couldn't also scam someone. What I'm saying here is that there's a thing called compatibility which many of the MENA couples do not have. No compatibility in looks, size, age, interests, mannerisms, education, finances, etc. Why can't ppl know their role? Sure an unattractive, heavy, older woman can be perfectly lovely and wonderful but she has no business going after a handsome 25 yr old stud. That's just asking for trouble.

Being thin does not protect you. Being beautiful does not make you more lovable. My daughter's father used a beautiful, nice bodied, beautiful faced non trailer living 23 year old to get here. He dumped her right after he removed conditions.

I have seen very beautiful women get used and some fat ones still in relationships.

It all goes back to WHATS LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

The question remains.. Whats love got to do with it?

Sometimes the outside parties have a bigger problem with the couple than the people involved.

Maybe the guy is in to BBW or mature women.... maybe he loves her.

Whats love got to do with this? Thats my question.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Trailer trash is not a racial slur. Just because someone lives in a trailer doesn't mean they are trash. It's a two-fer. Trash that lives in trailers. You know the kind I speak of. Multiple baby daddies, ####### azz clothes, no manners, f-ed up hair-dos, dirty, loud, just low class all around. Tell me there aren't MENA men who haven't married these types not realizing what they got themselves into.

where did ya_falaha said anything about American women??? where did she call you, personally, a hillbilly? #######, you are really, really pushing it.

You seriously need to move on. Pronto.

Len,

I never said that she called all women trailer trash. I dont like that expression just like someone mexican would resent someone calling someone a wetback or other derogatory term. I think trailer trash is an offensive term just because it demonises someone for where they live.

And I have to move on how? This is a mena board and I am not insulting anyone. Visit please but please do not try to run the boards. We are having a discussion and you are very welcome to be here...

Whats love got to do with it?

I guess because I was raised with 2 PhD parents, I have never judged anyone by what they wore or where they lived and if they did not have manners, I looked for other things that they could offer and were good at. I think there is alot of classcism in America. We all have worth and it takes an educated person to look past someones exterior and see who they are inside..

Even if the guy found out he was with a hillbilly, he could still treat her with respect. The foreigners have alot we have to deal with too and get over. Its not just them dealing with us..

[Chica Yeyé 41]

I am the mother of a mena child. I am still legally married to my mena spouse and after travelling there 4 times and going to 5 different mena countries, I still think my question is very valid. [/b]

My daughter is an arab and a muslim and I still live in the community. You do neither but you hang out on the boards. Lets continue the discussion and I would like to hear from people MARRIED or FORMERLY MARRIED to mena people.. Onlookers like you are interesting but you dont have the same perspective...My daughter still attends all muslim events, she has muslim classmates and friends and has an identifyingly muslim name. I think love is extremely important as well as forgiveness in enduring these relationships. While you are interesting Len, you dont really have a role in this because its not your story.. I want to hear from the women whos story it is...not so much onlookers .. please dont take offense

Thank you Len for your input anyway..

Love has everything to do with it

We all know that (re: bolded part).

I will post wherever the hell I feel like it. You cannot possibly offend me, you are neither that smart or that important.

I don't have the same idiotic love is rainbows perspective NOT because I am not MENA or because my husband is not MENA either. It is because I am a 38 year old educated woman that has traveled enough, studied enough, and seen enough to know that it is precisely that kind of airy-fairy thinking that gets women in trouble. Personal responsibility has to play a role for pete's sake.

If adult women (or men) choose to turn a blind eye and pretend it's all love and unicorns when the differences are like sore thumbs and painfully obvious for anyone that is looking, it is their problem.

p.s. why do you think the people you seek answers from are freaking ignoring your thread? It could not possibly be because they could not care less or find it completely absurd? Questions like these, like the one you pose, are insulting to a lot of MENA and non-MENA couples. How's that for a question?

[ya falaha! 0]

So what you're saying here is love is supposed to be blind? Men should look past anything because of love. You and I both know many of these men don't have a true concept of what love is when they meet and marry a woman. At first it's infatuation and lust then it either becomes love or it fizzles. If there is no compatibility then real love can't develop. How can it? Also, you have to see what's good for you. You can love someone deeply but they are no good for you. Look at what has happened to many of the women on this board. Same with the men. They can love their wife but in the long run the situation isn't good for them or their family so they must part ways. Love does not conquer all. Love only goes so far. Maybe I'm jaded but that's how I see it. I couldn't stay with someone simply because I "love" them. There has to be more.

[Aymsgirl 0]

Somebody said it before and I am too busy to find the thread but those people that marry a lot younger or with totally different values I would offer the same advice. If it would be normal/acceptable in their country to marry somebody significantly older, or who couldn't give them children (they are young and stating they don't want any; most of the time they will change their minds), or etc. then go ahead and follow your heart. If it is not acceptable , then you really have to evaluate your situation with your mind and not your heart.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I am the mother of a mena child. I am still legally married to my mena spouse and after travelling there 4 times and going to 5 different mena countries, I still think my question is very valid. [/b]

My daughter is an arab and a muslim and I still live in the community. You do neither but you hang out on the boards. Lets continue the discussion and I would like to hear from people MARRIED or FORMERLY MARRIED to mena people.. Onlookers like you are interesting but you dont have the same perspective...My daughter still attends all muslim events, she has muslim classmates and friends and has an identifyingly muslim name. I think love is extremely important as well as forgiveness in enduring these relationships. While you are interesting Len, you dont really have a role in this because its not your story.. I want to hear from the women whos story it is...not so much onlookers .. please dont take offense

Thank you Len for your input anyway..

Love has everything to do with it

We all know that (re: bolded part).

I will post wherever the hell I feel like it. You cannot possibly offend me, you are neither that smart or that important.

I don't have the same idiotic love is rainbows perspective NOT because I am not MENA or because my husband is not MENA either. It is because I am a 38 year old educated woman that has traveled enough, studied enough, and seen enough to know that it is precisely that kind of airy-fairy thinking that gets women in trouble. Personal responsibility has to play a role for pete's sake.

If adult women (or men) choose to turn a blind eye and pretend it's all love and unicorns when the differences are like sore thumbs and painfully obvious for anyone that is looking, it is their problem.

p.s. why do you think the people you seek answers from are freaking ignoring your thread? It could not possibly be because they could not care less or find it completely absurd? Questions like these, like the one you pose, are insulting to a lot of MENA and non-MENA couples. How's that for a question?

I think onlookers are welcome but I don't think they should direct the discussion, especially if they have nothing to do with mena but thats MHO. Welcome anyway.

You are welcome to post and welcome here and I am glad you enjoy being a mena voyeur.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

In before the lock!

Sometimes the outside parties have a bigger problem with the couple than the people involved.

Although I see both sides, and often wonder about some of the couples that are represented here, I also know this to be true because I know some folks wonder about my hubby and me because of our age difference. If someone comes on and asks for advice about fishy stuff that raises red flags, responders should be able to be honest with them, and sometimes that honesty is hurtful but correct. Sometimes, also, the advice just plain wrong, and that's up to the requestor to discern. We can only advise and move on. Kat, you need to move on, too. I know it's hard, but life is too short for repeatedly reliving the past.

Edited December 11, 2009 by Sofiyya

[sandinista! 1,816]

i'm glad len actively participates. she's a breath of fresh air from the usual freak show that passes for normalcy in mena.