Are you using me for a greencard?

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Norah Jones

What am I to you?

What am I to you

Tell me darling true

To me you are the sea

Vast as you can be

And deep the shade of blue

When you're feeling low

To whom else do you go

See I cry if you hurt

I'd give you my last shirt

Because I love you so

If my sky should fall

Would you even call

I've opened up my heart

I never want to part

I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes

I can feel the butterflies

I will love you when you're blue

Tell me darlin true

What am I to you

Yah well if my sky should fall

Would you even call

I've opened up my heart

Never want to part

I'm giving you the ball

When I look in your eyes

I can feel the butterflies

Could you find a love in me

Would you carve me in a tree

Don't fill my heart with lies

I will love you when you're blue

Tell me darlin true

What am I to you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11pjvFdjug4

Whatever you post, I'm just happy to see you around, even if you're still "hanging in there". I thought about you not long ago. Hugs to you.

Saludos,

Caro

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

..let me tell you a story...da dum dum dum...bout a man with a dream...da dum dum dum...

he had a vison...of a card thats green..da dum dum dum ...

the beginning of my blues tune

jJ

I loved this song and I thought it was just so appropriate for what some people are going through. I kind of wonder if some of the girls here that are perhaps on their second mena relationship, ie Jackie and others, feel that love is and was the common denominator on whether these relationships work or not. Could someone who really loved you stay with you knowing that their was an end point and they were leaving? Could someone who really loved you leave at the end of the process, loving you but not wanting to hurt you further or prolong something they had no intention of staying in. Do you think love is preventative of things? I want your opinion on the importance of just sheer love as far as the success of things.

Len, I really do not know you. You are extremely witty and funny and always have something to say. But I completely disagree with you about really the similarities of what we go through versus someone going DCF somewhere. Yes you had to jump through hoops but I have never heard of 12 aps out of Canada like some of the mena people have to go through. You have your opinion, you must find this board entertaining being that you dont have a mena spouse and of course we are happy to have a funny addition to the boards. Welcome. I do not agree with your opinions but I am happy to have you hear chatting away. I think the mena situation is much different than many of the other boards due to after effects of 9 11, security holds and the overall difficulty muslims face getting visas anyway. The couples are very scrutinised in many ways that go far beyond whether the marriage is legit. They need to know who our spouse is and what groups they have affiliated with, whether they pose a threat to national security. I doubt an anglo saxon from lets say Norway gets as much scrutiny or potential ap as an arab does and you just cannot deny that. Our cases are much more complex and there is alot more going against a mena couple than many countries just even getting through USCIS. It makes it harder to get here, harder to complete and leads to much more time apart than other countries with a higher chance of ap and denials..

Back to you Jackie and others. What role did love play in the success or failure of what has happened? Paris Heart, do you think he ever loved you but maybe the pulling of the petition plus the stress of the time apart maybe affected that love and made you two both go through extra stress.

I think that love, even if the marriage does not work out due to the wife not being able to have kids and he wants one or the age difference or cultural difference can at least make the break up smoother, rather than just a total calamity when one of the parties, usually the mena person just picks up and says after getting their papers that things are not working out. I have a theory that love is really the deciding factor in all of this. Not just if the marriage makes it but if it ends, how horribly. I think it has everything to do with whether the sponsored person gives a ####### about the sponsors family, their money situation, being fair and equitable and investing into the marriage. Someone that loves you is not going to chat with other women. Someone that loves you will not cheat. They will work hard . They will not even enter into the marriage

How important is love in all of this? My gamble and bet is that its everything...

[HannahP 119]

Len, I really do not know you. You are extremely witty and funny and always have something to say. But I completely disagree with you about really the similarities of what we go through versus someone going DCF somewhere. Yes you had to jump through hoops but I have never heard of 12 aps out of Canada like some of the mena people have to go through. You have your opinion, you must find this board entertaining being that you dont have a mena spouse and of course we are happy to have a funny addition to the boards

I'm sorry. I'm sure this has been said to you before but...those of us who actually lived through your petition process witnessed YOUR harping on many, many MENA women about how their husbands were using them for a greencard. You still have not apologized for this.

WE (myself and Len included, yes, people outside of MENA!!1) could see the disaster that was your marriage, yet you refused to listen to reason/advice/whatever. It still cracks me up every time I think that you were so absolutely shocked that your then-husband sucked. We'd been telling you this for months but all you could focus on was the fact that your grandma married some younger guy or whatever.

I'm sorry...but you failed on so many levels. We warned you about your bad partner choices in the past (tends to be a pattern), warned you about your bad husband choice in the now. I have limited sympathy for people who continue to fail at relationships despite advice after advice.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Len, I really do not know you. You are extremely witty and funny and always have something to say. But I completely disagree with you about really the similarities of what we go through versus someone going DCF somewhere. Yes you had to jump through hoops but I have never heard of 12 aps out of Canada like some of the mena people have to go through. You have your opinion, you must find this board entertaining being that you dont have a mena spouse and of course we are happy to have a funny addition to the boards

I'm sorry. I'm sure this has been said to you before but...those of us who actually lived through your petition process witnessed YOUR harping on many, many MENA women about how their husbands were using them for a greencard. You still have not apologized for this.

WE (myself and Len included, yes, people outside of MENA!!1) could see the disaster that was your marriage, yet you refused to listen to reason/advice/whatever. It still cracks me up every time I think that you were so absolutely shocked that your then-husband sucked. We'd been telling you this for months but all you could focus on was the fact that your grandma married some younger guy or whatever.

I'm sorry...but you failed on so many levels. We warned you about your bad partner choices in the past (tends to be a pattern), warned you about your bad husband choice in the now. I have limited sympathy for people who continue to fail at relationships despite advice after advice.

Again. I ask the question, to MENA people, how important do you think LOVE is to the success of these relationships?

I do not think that age has anything to do with this looking back. My grandmother did indeed marry someone who was 27 when she was 41 and that was back in 1911.

My question is to people PRESENTLY or FORMERLY married to MENA people. How important do you think love is or was to the success to your marriage.

Hannah, I am so glad you like the boards and welcome to this one and please continue to give your input but again my question is not really directed to you. Thank you anyway.

I think love matters and lack of it is why alot of the calamity happens..

Opinions please

[Jenn! 918]

Is it:

Or is it:

Hmmmmmm

[venusfire503 54]

My opinion, since it's been asked...

Love alone will not guarantee the success of a relationship.

A relationship without love is almost definitely doomed.

I think love is vital, but not the sole factor.

And it's very important that love comes from both sides. Commitment has to be at least somewhat equal on both parts, also.

I kind of think that commitment, to a small degree, might compensate for (some of the) love. I'm not sure of that, though.

venusfire

[ya falaha! 0]

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[meowmeowmeow 1]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THIS PIC!

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Len, I really do not know you. You are extremely witty and funny and always have something to say. But I completely disagree with you about really the similarities of what we go through versus someone going DCF somewhere. Yes you had to jump through hoops but I have never heard of 12 aps out of Canada like some of the mena people have to go through. You have your opinion, you must find this board entertaining being that you dont have a mena spouse and of course we are happy to have a funny addition to the boards

I'm sorry. I'm sure this has been said to you before but...those of us who actually lived through your petition process witnessed YOUR harping on many, many MENA women about how their husbands were using them for a greencard. You still have not apologized for this.

WE (myself and Len included, yes, people outside of MENA!!1) could see the disaster that was your marriage, yet you refused to listen to reason/advice/whatever. It still cracks me up every time I think that you were so absolutely shocked that your then-husband sucked. We'd been telling you this for months but all you could focus on was the fact that your grandma married some younger guy or whatever.

I'm sorry...but you failed on so many levels. We warned you about your bad partner choices in the past (tends to be a pattern), warned you about your bad husband choice in the now. I have limited sympathy for people who continue to fail at relationships despite advice after advice.

Again. I ask the question, to MENA people, how important do you think LOVE is to the success of these relationships?

I do not think that age has anything to do with this looking back. My grandmother did indeed marry someone who was 27 when she was 41 and that was back in 1911.

My question is to people PRESENTLY or FORMERLY married to MENA people. How important do you think love is or was to the success to your marriage.

Hannah, I am so glad you like the boards and welcome to this one and please continue to give your input but again my question is not really directed to you. Thank you anyway.

I think love matters and lack of it is why alot of the calamity happens..

Opinions please :ot2:

Yes it the key ingredient to a true marriage!!!!!

[ya falaha! 0]

Love is swell and I guess necessary to a point but love isn't everything. And like the fine lady in my youtube says....love don't pay the rent. It takes a lot more than love to make a marriage work.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

..let me tell you a story...da dum dum dum...bout a man with a dream...da dum dum dum...

he had a vison...of a card thats green..da dum dum dum ...

the beginning of my blues tune

jJ

I loved this song and I thought it was just so appropriate for what some people are going through. I kind of wonder if some of the girls here that are perhaps on their second mena relationship, ie Jackie and others, feel that love is and was the common denominator on whether these relationships work or not. Could someone who really loved you stay with you knowing that their was an end point and they were leaving? Could someone who really loved you leave at the end of the process, loving you but not wanting to hurt you further or prolong something they had no intention of staying in. Do you think love is preventative of things? I want your opinion on the importance of just sheer love as far as the success of things.

Len, I really do not know you. You are extremely witty and funny and always have something to say. But I completely disagree with you about really the similarities of what we go through versus someone going DCF somewhere. Yes you had to jump through hoops but I have never heard of 12 aps out of Canada like some of the mena people have to go through. You have your opinion, you must find this board entertaining being that you dont have a mena spouse and of course we are happy to have a funny addition to the boards. Welcome. I do not agree with your opinions but I am happy to have you hear chatting away. I think the mena situation is much different than many of the other boards due to after effects of 9 11, security holds and the overall difficulty muslims face getting visas anyway. The couples are very scrutinised in many ways that go far beyond whether the marriage is legit. They need to know who our spouse is and what groups they have affiliated with, whether they pose a threat to national security. I doubt an anglo saxon from lets say Norway gets as much scrutiny or potential ap as an arab does and you just cannot deny that. Our cases are much more complex and there is alot more going against a mena couple than many countries just even getting through USCIS. It makes it harder to get here, harder to complete and leads to much more time apart than other countries with a higher chance of ap and denials..

Back to you Jackie and others. What role did love play in the success or failure of what has happened? Paris Heart, do you think he ever loved you but maybe the pulling of the petition plus the stress of the time apart maybe affected that love and made you two both go through extra stress.

I think that love, even if the marriage does not work out due to the wife not being able to have kids and he wants one or the age difference or cultural difference can at least make the break up smoother, rather than just a total calamity when one of the parties, usually the mena person just picks up and says after getting their papers that things are not working out. I have a theory that love is really the deciding factor in all of this. Not just if the marriage makes it but if it ends, how horribly. I think it has everything to do with whether the sponsored person gives a ####### about the sponsors family, their money situation, being fair and equitable and investing into the marriage. Someone that loves you is not going to chat with other women. Someone that loves you will not cheat. They will work hard . They will not even enter into the marriage

How important is love in all of this? My gamble and bet is that its everything...

No he just plain did not love me, a person does not do what he did to me if he loved me.

I made a mistake, but I got out and survived it and his wrath towards me. There is much more I wont post of what happend, that is private, but I know now , he never loved me.

Me pulling petition was nothing compared to what he did to me before I pulled it.. This is all Im ever saying about this nightmare.

[Beth/ Paris Heart 2]

Len, I really do not know you. You are extremely witty and funny and always have something to say. But I completely disagree with you about really the similarities of what we go through versus someone going DCF somewhere. Yes you had to jump through hoops but I have never heard of 12 aps out of Canada like some of the mena people have to go through. You have your opinion, you must find this board entertaining being that you dont have a mena spouse and of course we are happy to have a funny addition to the boards

I'm sorry. I'm sure this has been said to you before but...those of us who actually lived through your petition process witnessed YOUR harping on many, many MENA women about how their husbands were using them for a greencard. You still have not apologized for this.

WE (myself and Len included, yes, people outside of MENA!!1) could see the disaster that was your marriage, yet you refused to listen to reason/advice/whatever. It still cracks me up every time I think that you were so absolutely shocked that your then-husband sucked. We'd been telling you this for months but all you could focus on was the fact that your grandma married some younger guy or whatever.

I'm sorry...but you failed on so many levels. We warned you about your bad partner choices in the past (tends to be a pattern), warned you about your bad husband choice in the now. I have limited sympathy for people who continue to fail at relationships despite advice after advice.

Again. I ask the question, to MENA people, how important do you think LOVE is to the success of these relationships?

I do not think that age has anything to do with this looking back. My grandmother did indeed marry someone who was 27 when she was 41 and that was back in 1911.

My question is to people PRESENTLY or FORMERLY married to MENA people. How important do you think love is or was to the success to your marriage.

Hannah, I am so glad you like the boards and welcome to this one and please continue to give your input but again my question is not really directed to you. Thank you anyway.

I think love matters and lack of it is why alot of the calamity happens..

Opinions please

Yes it the key ingredient to a true marriage!!!!!

Let me add to my above post, you need love, faithfulness, truthfulness, understanding, and talking things out with each other, not shutting them out for days at a time, and taking responsibility for your own actions, not blaming your love.

[chinese_mutt 11]

I think commitment born out of love is the glue that holds things together. Love is easy to gain or lose but once a person is fully commited to the other person, that commitment last longer and is not under the whim of mere emotions.

I told my husband once, "to you there's always the option of divorce... (the american ways and laws have shaped this thinking) to me there is no option but til death do us part. The only instance when I'll get divorce is when I am getting abused - physically."

I don't mean to offend those who are seeking divorce or have been divorced... this is my personal conviction.

As for GC hunters, if the allegation is true. THEY never loved you. Love also requires respect. Lying that you love someone when you are only after a GC does not reflect respect. If there is no respect for your person how can you then say that he even loved you?

[sandinista! 1,816]

Love is swell and I guess necessary to a point but love isn't everything. And like the fine lady in my youtube says....love don't pay the rent. It takes a lot more than love to make a marriage work.

true that. and lydia lunch kicks some azz.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I think commitment born out of love is the glue that holds things together. Love is easy to gain or lose but once a person is fully commited to the other person, that commitment last longer and is not under the whim of mere emotions.

I told my husband once, "to you there's always the option of divorce... (the american ways and laws have shaped this thinking) to me there is no option but til death do us part. The only instance when I'll get divorce is when I am getting abused - physically."

I don't mean to offend those who are seeking divorce or have been divorced... this is my personal conviction.

As for GC hunters, if the allegation is true. THEY never loved you. Love also requires respect. Lying that you love someone when you are only after a GC does not reflect respect. If there is no respect for your person how can you then say that he even loved you?

I tend to agree with everything you said here.

OF COURSE love is a vital ingredient in a marriage but love wont solve all problems. Love doesnt compensate for poor communication skills, maturity levels,total lack of compatability or lack of empathy on ones part. even sick and twisted people can be in love but not know how to act.

And of course that "lovey dovey/lust/excited" feeling doesnt last forever. My dad gave me that advise many years ago and he's right. he said being in love with someone means that when that feeling goes away you have a partner/best friend for life...that love has to be strong enough to last longer than the "honeymoon period"

In context to GC fraud, no...they cant truly love you and use you at the same time IMO.

they could however have loved you but it just didnt work and they figured that they would stay long enough to get the CG before calling it quits