Guns and Pie

[mox 298]

Bought my wife a Walther P-22 over the weekend.

Pics when I get 'em.

Nice! Yeah, would love to see pics.

[Ban Hammer 13,112]

just ran across this one, thought some of you might enjoy it

Military rules, by Service

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet ­ even your friends…

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

2. Kill every living thing within view.

3. Adjust speedo.

4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

3. Curse bitterly.

4. Curse bitterly.

5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.

6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

3. See what's on HBO.

4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"

5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.

6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.

2. Drink Coffee.

3. Deploy Marines

http://www.strategypage.com/humor/articles/military_jokes_20071040.asp

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Bought my wife a Walther P-22 over the weekend.

Pics when I get 'em.

As I recall those have threaded barrels and can be fitted with a silencer.

We will hear a quiet "Phhht, Phhht" from your apartment late at night.

[slim 1,514]

now you'll have a real incentive to do more household chores.

I've never been scared of her picking up one of the guns. Now the Sog Fusion Tactical Tomahawk on the other hand... that's a different story!

just ran across this one, thought some of you might enjoy it

Military rules, by Service

Those are about right.

As I recall those have threaded barrels and can be fitted with a silencer.

We will hear a quiet "Phhht, Phhht" from your apartment late at night.

Like I said above, I doubt she'd shoot me. But that tomahawk...

[Martyshk 137]

Like I said above, I doubt she'd shoot me. But that tomahawk...

Ditto that. If anything, it'll be slow and painful hehe

[slim 1,514]

Yeah, she wouldn't want to make it quick. "You must have lotta pain before you die."

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yeah, she wouldn't want to make it quick. "You must have lotta pain before you die."

I thought of you today Slim. We were driving and a stupid woman pulled out in front of Alla and sent Alla into a cussing streak she rarely does, and about every third word was "Blat!"

I was shocked. "Princess Alla, you shock me how you talk!"

she says "I shock myself and my friends say the same, they never talked this way in Russia or Ukraine...but here...how are we supposed to avoid talking this way when we must drive?"

Edited March 27, 2010 by Gary and Alla

[slim 1,514]

Yep, driving is universally known to cause streams of curses to flow from anyone's mouth!

I don't dare call my wife princess... she is queen, blat.

[Martyshk 137]

Yep, driving is universally known to cause streams of curses to flow from anyone's mouth!

I don't dare call my wife princess... she is queen, blat.

Right on, блять

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Yep, driving is universally known to cause streams of curses to flow from anyone's mouth!

I don't dare call my wife princess... she is queen, blat.

I don't dare call her "Queen". When she is old enough to BE a Queen, she will WANT you to call her "Princess". I only call her that when she does particularly UN-Princess things. Otherwise she is known as "Comrade Marshall Alla Zhukov!!!!"

[slim 1,514]

My wife and her buddies have code names for each other.

I'm just waiting for someone to get frisky at a bar or something and next thing you know one of them will swing the dude by his arm over the table while the other two jump on top of him and cuff him. Then they'll whisk him out the back door and throw him into their van and take him to who knows where. With any luck, he'll still have fingernails when it's all said and done. With no luck, that dude's disappeared forever.

I honestly have no idea how we won the cold war. The honey pot would've gotten me every single time.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

My wife and her buddies have code names for each other.

I'm just waiting for someone to get frisky at a bar or something and next thing you know one of them will swing the dude by his arm over the table while the other two jump on top of him and cuff him. Then they'll whisk him out the back door and throw him into their van and take him to who knows where. With any luck, he'll still have fingernails when it's all said and done. With no luck, that dude's disappeared forever.

I honestly have no idea how we won the cold war. The honey pot would've gotten me every single time.

I am not sure I understand all that...but it is funny as hell!

[Ban Hammer 13,112]

ok, thanks to slim, i've seen the light of the ar in .223

now to get nessa to buy off on that idea - shouldn't be too difficult as i plan on selling a few odd guns i don't have a need for to cover most of the cost of the one i have in mind:

http://www.impactguns.com/store/COLT-LE6920BF.html

accepting advice on what would be a good holographic sight for it from the resident experts.

lastly - i've seen some talk about coatings on some of the rounds, like lacquer coated and so on. educate me on the drawbacks to that and what is a better coating, along with how to tell which is what.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

How many guns do you need? ALL OF THEM!

I have always regretted selling guns later, try not to.

[Brad and Vika 129]

just ran across this one, thought some of you might enjoy it

Military rules, by Service

Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3. Have a plan.

4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.

5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet ­ even your friends…

6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."

7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.

8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)

9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.

11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.

12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.

2. Kill every living thing within view.

3. Adjust speedo.

4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.

2. Locate individuals requiring killing.

3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.

4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

2. Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

3. Curse bitterly.

4. Curse bitterly.

5. Do not listen to 2nd LT's; it can get you killed.

6. Curse bitterly.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.

2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

3. See what's on HBO.

4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"

5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" Power Point presentation.

6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.

9. Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10. Make sure the base is as far as possible from the conflict but close enough to have tax exemption.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.

2. Drink Coffee.

3. Deploy Marines

http://www.strategypage.com/humor/articles/military_jokes_20071040.asp