Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 21)

[Shemmy 4]

Today is Damien's birthday. I put a gift bag and a cake in his car while he was working. He always listen to music in his car during lunch. He was so surprised

How sweet? Was it a sugar free cake?

Just kidding - Tell hubby happy birthday!

Nope...a Oreo chocolate cake...Damein cannot pass up chocolate chip cookies from Subway and a good chocolate cake.

He just called me from work on speaker phone....the guys are tearing it up...good.... no leftovers for me

[Ellsinlove 2]

Philly, I almost forgot to tell you...THANK YOU for the Rihanna DL....I've been enjoying it for a few days now!

Q, big congrats on Roger's card coming! I know how you must be feeling...I'll be feeling that way any day now! Celebrate good times, come on!

Shemmy, that is sweet what you did for Damien's b-day! I bet he loves you even more now!

At this point, I'd say it's not the holiday yet and he's not working yet....perfect timing....go and have fun. CHRISTMAS is all mine!!!

EXACTLY!!

All I want to point out is..........is that really unusual to Lehi? How many times did someone come pick him up in the middle of the night in JA?

You have to think differently sometimes Ells.

It's tough. And it sucks. You will find your way through it, girly. Just hang in there.

It IS actually! The man drops asleep by 8:30 - 9 most nights. AND, living with Grandma, he wasn't out there at all hours & people weren't picking him up like that because she would sure enough fret until he got home. That's not how he lived there & that's not how I live here. When it's the weekend, I'm more flexible but not during the week like that.

Maybe she wanted to have a middle of da night sexy party!

WAS thinking about it....until I got mad! After all, we are supposed to be celebrating our successful interview this week.

i wish i was w/ him right now.. he actually used exclamation points on the email!!! he is so laid back, i wanna see what this looks like LOL

Me too!

Visit to the SSA office to change name on social security card: 1 hr

Visit to the DMV to change name on driver's license: 1.25 hrs

Knowing I won't have to visit those offices again for a while: PRICELESS

Cute, Nat! Feels good doesn't it?

Ells, what ended up happening with Lehi's visit with his father/sister?

Well, as far as the plan is at this moment in time, his dad is going to come for him today some time. We'll see if he flakes on him or not. I'm looking forward to having some 'me' time & hanging out with a girlfriend I haven't seen in a while at the Tanya Stephens show tonight so I hope it happens.

I still get up late and it's been over a year. LMAO

It's been 7 months for me & same way!

He doesn't know what bad weather is??? We've driven around Jamaica in monsoon-like rains & it was pretty dyam nerve-wracking. And that wasn't even in the pitch black, it was daylight. I fully support him in visiting with his Dad & getting to know him BUT I will not tolerate the change of original plans & crazy hours that effect my schedule when I'm the one getting up to go to work in the morning. Sorry, that's where I draw the line! If he wants to pick him up as planned (today) during normal hours, go for it! Have fun!

Ells read what you wrote again and tell me do you sound like a concerned wife or a mother?? Not picking fights chica you know I love you to pieces I just want you to really look at how you sound.

Are you the only child?

I think you're right DaDa, I sound like a mother in a way but a wife could also have those concerns. And I think I sound like a mixture of the two. I may get some flack for this but, in a way, I AM a mother figure in the respect that he is in a new, strange place & does need some guidance on how to navigate here so he doesn't get caught up in things that aren't good for either of us. When I was in JA, he was a little like my father because I was in a new, strange place & I needed his guidance to move around there comfortably. That's one of the challenges of these relationships, maintaining respect for eachother & treating eachother as equals while at the same time showing someone the ropes in a place that it's almost like they are a baby again because everything is brand new to them.

And yes, I'm an only child....meaning?? (Yes, I am used to having my way....sort of...I don't want to go into my childhood history.)

[thisislove 0]

SHEMSTER!!!!!

girl i can't imagine my daughters and roger talking bout boys.. he will chat bout getting the gun LMAO

That's why I was so confused last weekend. We talked about it again last night...she's a great kid. We should be extremely thankful we don't have any issues out of her. He needs too loosened up some things.

A guy asked her on a date last week. She put everything on her terms...she wanted to have a coffee date (walking distance so she didn't have to get into his car) so they can discuss film studies (two nerds) after school. I thought it was a good idea while Damien almost had a heart attack . They were home by 5. Plus she asked Damien her opinion because it meant a lot to her. I asked Damien how many teenagers would have done that???

GIRL!!!

these men.. so old fashioned. that will be me 5 years from now

[NatPatBen 3]

Philly, your story about your son & husband bonding over the Wii is precious. Hope the bonding continues.

Where is Nat today?

Courthouse, social security office, DMV so far. Next up: adding Steven to the bank account(s), dropping donations off at Goodwill, getting meat for Steven and his friend to bbq tomorrow.

I'm finding that I need at least 3 certified copies of my marriage certificate: one for AOS, one for JA Citizenship, and one for getting my passport updated. Plus I like having an extra for the occasions I need to show it, such as at the SSA & DMV. Had I known, I'd have gotten more copies the first time.

[MRStee 19]

SHEMSTER!!!!!

girl i can't imagine my daughters and roger talking bout boys.. he will chat bout getting the gun LMAO

That's why I was so confused last weekend. We talked about it again last night...she's a great kid. We should be extremely thankful we don't have any issues out of her. He needs too loosened up some things.

A guy asked her on a date last week. She put everything on her terms...she wanted to have a coffee date (walking distance so she didn't have to get into his car) so they can discuss film studies (two nerds) after school. I thought it was a good idea while Damien almost had a heart attack . They were home by 5. Plus she asked Damien her opinion because it meant a lot to her. I asked Damien how many teenagers would have done that???

How old is she? Thats commendable!

[DaDa 1]

good job nat!

i am sooooo dreading that long rass day! i haven't changed anything yet, its such a hassle to me,, my job, bank accounts, ssa, dl UGGHHHH.. i know im mrs roger! but he says by the first of the year i must change my name

I think only 21 days till then!!!

[JQ Smiley BOOM 3]

Think back

Who was it that child's father sent them the Paper's song in an email

I cant remember who that was but everytime I hear the song I remember that. lol

Philly

What up with my DL I need that new SNOOP DOG Muy hubby sings the part

:she wake me up in the middle of the night: since ima dog I give her what she like: his little head be bopping and eveything thats the only part he know

HEY Q

How are you liking that xfxrxexex xcxaxbxlxex xIx x x xixtx I watch all the shows

Ells

girl if that was me I would have been the same exact way so like Q said yes do yo ting gal

Dillion

Glad your dad is pulling through, you still need to make a trip to see him, so I can meet up with you! But God Bless him in his healing

Smiley soon come

Edited December 11, 2009 by Jamerican Queen

[NatPatBen 3]

Quana, congratulations to Roger on the green card! Now he can get a TX driver's license.

He is free to make his decisions but I also have the right to tell him to put himself in my place & see how it makes him feel. That pretty much does the trick. He knows how he worries about me over the most inconsequential things so he has to know how I'd feel for him to be travelling at night with a potentially tired driver on wet & possibly icey roads. Anyway, after I gave him my perspective, he made his own decision to reschedule with his dad & called him....I didn't say a thing or force him to do anything.

I like your strategy, Ells!

[sus 70]

I didn't 'make' him do anything....I did however put some things to him in a way that made him understand my anger & he made the decision to call him back on his own. And I've thought about this 'resenting' thing....if he wants to resent me for whatever interference he thinks I may be throwing, that's fine. I'm not so attached to anything in life (except for my Mom & my own well-being) that I can't let it go. If he has a problem in the long run with the way things have gone, he can choose to do whatever he wants about it, including leaving. I don't want that to happen, but I also am not going to walk on eggshells to make sure my man stays with me even when something really bugs me. I've been there & done that. Those days are over.

His dad didn't have contact with him because it wasn't convenient for him, plain & simple. His Mom would've been happy for her son to have some support & help through life but since it wasn't easy, he chose to ignore that he existed. How you can provide for all your other offspring & send them off to school & what not & leave one kid out of the mix (probably because his mom was a poor country girl that came from a poor family....since we all know that happens) is beyond me. But that's neither here nor there. However, far as I'm concerned, he doesn't have the right to manipulate him by threatening (without actually threatening) not to hang out with him & to get mad when he doesn't get his way. Last night when he called him to say don't come, his dad's response was, "see you around then!" ####### IS THAT???

Ells - Please don't think I am trying to jump all over you - For me, sometimes it is best when I vent and rant and rave to have someone else throw it back in my face and point out how I sound - It just helps me to figure out the right path to follow or the right way to handle something -

I understand your frustration, believe me - and I think you are right in voicing your opinion to your husband - I just think it's important to let him make his own choices and sometimes you have to bite your tongue and let him figure it out, as hard as that is to do -

My concern is the part that I have bolded - You MARRIED this man - for better or for worse - You need to keep that in the forefront of your mind - cause Lord knows that marriage and a relationship is hard enough without the added stress that this whole immigration thing puts on us -

[MRStee 19]

SHEMSTER!!!!!

girl i can't imagine my daughters and roger talking bout boys.. he will chat bout getting the gun LMAO

That's why I was so confused last weekend. We talked about it again last night...she's a great kid. We should be extremely thankful we don't have any issues out of her. He needs too loosened up some things.

A guy asked her on a date last week. She put everything on her terms...she wanted to have a coffee date (walking distance so she didn't have to get into his car) so they can discuss film studies (two nerds) after school. I thought it was a good idea while Damien almost had a heart attack . They were home by 5. Plus she asked Damien her opinion because it meant a lot to her. I asked Damien how many teenagers would have done that???

How old is she? Thats commendable!

[Shemmy 4]

SHEMSTER!!!!!

girl i can't imagine my daughters and roger talking bout boys.. he will chat bout getting the gun LMAO

That's why I was so confused last weekend. We talked about it again last night...she's a great kid. We should be extremely thankful we don't have any issues out of her. He needs too loosened up some things.

A guy asked her on a date last week. She put everything on her terms...she wanted to have a coffee date (walking distance so she didn't have to get into his car) so they can discuss film studies (two nerds) after school. I thought it was a good idea while Damien almost had a heart attack . They were home by 5. Plus she asked Damien her opinion because it meant a lot to her. I asked Damien how many teenagers would have done that???

How old is she? Thats commendable!

She's 17.

[finesse 3]

smaddi please help mi....now mi can barely keep mi eyes open!!!!

[sus 70]

smaddi please help mi....now mi can barely keep mi eyes open!!!!

[thisislove 0]

that was MEEEEE jam q, LOL. then try fi lie and say he didn't mean for it to come to me..

then why when it came on in the car, he gonna tell my kids, that he dedicates that to me.. 100% FOOL!!

i don't know bout the cable jam q.. its been a year now, and i don't know how to decide what the kids can and can't watch which most of the time mean they watch everything..

roger didn't like that my 12 yr old was singing "smash the homeys" (rolls eyes)

[MRStee 19]

I didn't 'make' him do anything....I did however put some things to him in a way that made him understand my anger & he made the decision to call him back on his own. And I've thought about this 'resenting' thing....if he wants to resent me for whatever interference he thinks I may be throwing, that's fine. I'm not so attached to anything in life (except for my Mom & my own well-being) that I can't let it go. If he has a problem in the long run with the way things have gone, he can choose to do whatever he wants about it, including leaving. I don't want that to happen, but I also am not going to walk on eggshells to make sure my man stays with me even when something really bugs me. I've been there & done that. Those days are over.

His dad didn't have contact with him because it wasn't convenient for him, plain & simple. His Mom would've been happy for her son to have some support & help through life but since it wasn't easy, he chose to ignore that he existed. How you can provide for all your other offspring & send them off to school & what not & leave one kid out of the mix (probably because his mom was a poor country girl that came from a poor family....since we all know that happens) is beyond me. But that's neither here nor there. However, far as I'm concerned, he doesn't have the right to manipulate him by threatening (without actually threatening) not to hang out with him & to get mad when he doesn't get his way. Last night when he called him to say don't come, his dad's response was, "see you around then!" ####### IS THAT???

Sus, I kind of feel that way too. Believe me I love Steve with all my heart, but if we don't work out life still has to go on. Do I want us to work? Absolutely!!!! Would I leave over something like this situation? NO!!! I'd work it out. I think its a very "real" and valid answer. I think sometimes this whole immigration thing can be a bit overwhelming. Even if I was married to an USC I would still feel the same way because a man is a man. The only difference is the circumstances that brought us together. I refuse to stay in something thats not healthy if the time comes. I have been by myself 7 years before Steve and I would gladly do it all over again if it meant my piece of mind.

Again, just my opinion.

Ells - Please don't think I am trying to jump all over you - For me, sometimes it is best when I vent and rant and rave to have someone else throw it back in my face and point out how I sound - It just helps me to figure out the right path to follow or the right way to handle something -

I understand your frustration, believe me - and I think you are right in voicing your opinion to your husband - I just think it's important to let him make his own choices and sometimes you have to bite your tongue and let him figure it out, as hard as that is to do -

My concern is the part that I have bolded - You MARRIED this man - for better or for worse - You need to keep that in the forefront of your mind - cause Lord knows that marriage and a relationship is hard enough without the added stress that this whole immigration thing puts on us -