Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 21)

[sus 70]

Maybe its just me but I don't see why everyone is saying Ells shouldn't be upset. She has every right to be if that's how she genuinely feels. We all react to things differently. Sometimes our emotions just take over like that. Maybe she is thinking about all the time she was "away" from Lehi while going through the process and she feels like being a little selfish and not sharing him. I think its great that Lehi's dad wants to come into his life, he just needs to be a bit more respectful and do things at a more appropriate time, for ALL parties involved. It seems like he is not taking Ells feelings into consideration and Lehi is caught in the middle of it all. We can all sit here and tell her to be calm about it but unless we are in her shoes we can't judge. We can only pray that the outcome will work in everyone's favor.

Just my opinion.

From my view point - not saying she doesn't have a right to be upset - But she has to allow her husband to make the decisions - To make him call his father back last night and tell him not to come is treating him like a child - I probably would have been annoyed to, and thought how ridiculous this is - But at the end of the day, my husband is a grown man and he has to make his choices - if he doesn't decide how much of a relationship he wants with his father, whatever - there is a potential that one day he could flip it and resent Ells for interfering, which would cause bigger problems down the road -

We also don't know the full story of why his father didn't have contact for all those years - There could have been a zillion reasons why - including that possibly he tried and hubby's Mom blocked it - We can't place blame on the man when we don't know why -

But ultimately, the decision needs to be up to her husband to decide how much of a relationship he wants with his father, and to speak up to his father for himself - He is a grown man - Sometimes our SO does something in a way we don't agree with - but they are grown - we have a right to share our concerns with them - We don't have a right to tell them what to do - they aren't our child.

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

Sorry, what is the issue again? is his father able bodied, can see? that's the reality in this country, u just have to do what u must dark or not, it's dark here at 4:30pm..and for him to turn around? was that the best solution? did ur husband want him to come or turn around?

Quick version... Ells hubby’s dad has surfaced since he has moved to the states. He didn’t want anything to do with Lehi when he was in JA but now he wants to reach out to Lehi and try and get to know him but Ells is pissed because he wasn’t thinking about him before. He wanted to get with Lehi for turkey day but Ells said no because Lehi was spending it with her and her family. So now he is trying before Xmas. He wants Lehi to meet his other ½ siblings.

Maybe its just me but I don't see why everyone is saying Ells shouldn't be upset. She has every right to be if that's how she genuinely feels. We all react to things differently. Sometimes our emotions just take over like that. Maybe she is thinking about all the time she was "away" from Lehi while going through the process and she feels like being a little selfish and not sharing him. I think its great that Lehi's dad wants to come into his life, he just needs to be a bit more respectful and do things at a more appropriate time, for ALL parties involved. It seems like he is not taking Ells feelings into consideration and Lehi is caught in the middle of it all. We can all sit here and tell her to be calm about it but unless we are in her shoes we can't judge. We can only pray that the outcome will work in everyone's favor.

Just my opinion.

of course ells has a right to be upset over whatever she feels she needs to...but he (lehi) does have family and they do wanna see him..maybe sometimes ells will have to make the trip with him..not my battle no really care..just mi opinion

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

Sorry, what is the issue again? is his father able bodied, can see? that's the reality in this country, u just have to do what u must dark or not, it's dark here at 4:30pm..and for him to turn around? was that the best solution? did ur husband want him to come or turn around?

Quick version... Ells hubby’s dad has surfaced since he has moved to the states. He didn’t want anything to do with Lehi when he was in JA but now he wants to reach out to Lehi and try and get to know him but Ells is pissed because he wasn’t thinking about him before. He wanted to get with Lehi for turkey day but Ells said no because Lehi was spending it with her and her family. So now he is trying before Xmas. He wants Lehi to meet his other ½ siblings.

Maybe its just me but I don't see why everyone is saying Ells shouldn't be upset. She has every right to be if that's how she genuinely feels. We all react to things differently. Sometimes our emotions just take over like that. Maybe she is thinking about all the time she was "away" from Lehi while going through the process and she feels like being a little selfish and not sharing him. I think its great that Lehi's dad wants to come into his life, he just needs to be a bit more respectful and do things at a more appropriate time, for ALL parties involved. It seems like he is not taking Ells feelings into consideration and Lehi is caught in the middle of it all. We can all sit here and tell her to be calm about it but unless we are in her shoes we can't judge. We can only pray that the outcome will work in everyone's favor.

Just my opinion.

of course ells has a right to be upset over whatever she feels she needs to...but he (lehi) does have family and they do wanna see him..maybe sometimes ells will have to make the trip with him..not my battle no really care..just mi opinion

[finesse 3]

kimmy chatterbox today....whappen? yuh bored at work?

[sus 70]

Well I'm going to rock it like this...I'm grown and a big girl...I know what's what...at the end of the day, I will be okay no matter what...that's just how I'm built. I've prayed over the situation and given it a lot of thought. I love Den but was never so blinded by the love that I could not think reasonably and make a good decision. I think he is a very good man and he has been working himself crazy to do what he needs to do for his son. He is an excellent father...I can't say what the Mama will or will not do in the future, all I can do is handle myself and hold myself up to do what I need to do as a woman. If I do that, I will never go wrong. I'm going into this with the best intentions in the world. I'm keeping God as the head and everything else will be alright!

Nice post Dens -- I think sometimes (speaking for myself here) when we have seen SO much negative stuff / scams / pure phockery - it's easy to jump and see the bad possibilities = I pray and hope that it works out the best for you

Philly, sounds like your kids (or at least one) and hubby are really trying - happy for you.

[phillyfashionista 8]

Dillon, you were on my mind this morning. I prayed for you Father I hope he is on his way to recovery, stay strong Sis!

[sus 70]

kimmy chatterbox today....whappen? yuh bored at work?

Finesse, where di belly picta?

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

Well I'm going to rock it like this...I'm grown and a big girl...I know what's what...at the end of the day, I will be okay no matter what...that's just how I'm built. I've prayed over the situation and given it a lot of thought. I love Den but was never so blinded by the love that I could not think reasonably and make a good decision. I think he is a very good man and he has been working himself crazy to do what he needs to do for his son. He is an excellent father...I can't say what the Mama will or will not do in the future, all I can do is handle myself and hold myself up to do what I need to do as a woman. If I do that, I will never go wrong. I'm going into this with the best intentions in the world. I'm keeping God as the head and everything else will be alright!

Well said Den's I wish you the best of luck

ME TOO!

kimmy chatterbox today....whappen? yuh bored at work?

Finesse, where di belly picta?

wapen.....lef mi alone..mek mi chat..cause all a oonuh comeing like one bag a hypocrites

[dillon 6]

Thanks Philly! Here is an update for you guys...

He is out of ICU which is a good thing. He hasn't had to receive anymore blood and it seems that it has stopped. They found out that it isn't coming from the esophogus this time but rather the stomach. He has gone through A LOT of tests at the Mayo Clinic in Phoneix this past September to determine how serious the liver damage is and if he would need a transplant. It wasn't bad enough at that time so he was just on the standby list. However since this has happend they have moved him to the donor list and have been working with his insurance company regarding the transplant. Hope one come available for him and he gets one soon. Thanks for keeping him in your prayers the are working!!!!

[thisislove 0]

hey everybody..

ms tee.. its not really that ells shouldn't be upset.. heck she should feel anyway she pleases like you said, and she should tell her husband how she feels about.. BUT, should those feelings be the deciding force in a mutual decision?

i believe as a wife, we sometimes can use our feelings to manipulate our husbands to doing things WE want them to do, even UNKNOWINGLY.. NOT SAYING ELLS IS OR WOULD EVER DO THIS,

this is esp easy to do w/ our husbands, men that are here away from everyone they know and love , and all he has is his wife (whom he loves as well LOL).. he will want to do what she wants, how she wants to make her happy and for life to be peaceful in the house..

this can cause problems down the line.. so i think what most of us are saying is she should take Lehi's feelings into consideration which she very well may be doing and try for both of them to come up with a solution together that BOTH his and her best interest in mind..

i hope ells or nobody else feels bad about things that are said, this is your venting spot and if it sparks a discussion, please don't take anything personal

[LadyC 1]

Courtroom Conversations - Too Funny

These are from a book called 'Disorder in the American Courts' and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitting me?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Getting laid

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS : Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 pm.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

_____________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

THINK ABOUT IT! MOST MEMBERS OF CONGRESS ARE LAWYERS.....

[DaDa 1]

Ok all caught up

Hey DaDa, Dens Wifey, Chiney*Eyes, Jamerican Queen, mamajew

Hey Philly!!!!!

[DedicatedWife 4]

Well I'm going to rock it like this...I'm grown and a big girl...I know what's what...at the end of the day, I will be okay no matter what...that's just how I'm built. I've prayed over the situation and given it a lot of thought. I love Den but was never so blinded by the love that I could not think reasonably and make a good decision. I think he is a very good man and he has been working himself crazy to do what he needs to do for his son. He is an excellent father...I can't say what the Mama will or will not do in the future, all I can do is handle myself and hold myself up to do what I need to do as a woman. If I do that, I will never go wrong. I'm going into this with the best intentions in the world. I'm keeping God as the head and everything else will be alright!

Nice post Dens -- I think sometimes (speaking for myself here) when we have seen SO much negative stuff / scams / pure phockery - it's easy to jump and see the bad possibilities = I pray and hope that it works out the best for you

Philly, sounds like your kids (or at least one) and hubby are really trying - happy for you.

[phillyfashionista 8]

Sounds good so far, you know us ladies here in the Yardie forum been sending them prayers out!!!!

thanks Sis I need those prayers

Philly that is awesome...I hope the improvement continues and that your oldest comes around. I think sending him to Canada for Christmas break is a great idea. Have you booked his ticket yet?

Hey Dills, I am praying that the improvement continues as well I can't manage any more of this stress.....I looking for tix now. We will send him then go and pick him up so I can spend time with my cuz too

From my view point - not saying she doesn't have a right to be upset - But she has to allow her husband to make the decisions - To make him call his father back last night and tell him not to come is treating him like a child - I probably would have been annoyed to, and thought how ridiculous this is - But at the end of the day, my husband is a grown man and he has to make his choices - if he doesn't decide how much of a relationship he wants with his father, whatever - there is a potential that one day he could flip it and resent Ells for interfering, which would cause bigger problems down the road -

We also don't know the full story of why his father didn't have contact for all those years - There could have been a zillion reasons why - including that possibly he tried and hubby's Mom blocked it - We can't place blame on the man when we don't know why -

But ultimately, the decision needs to be up to her husband to decide how much of a relationship he wants with his father, and to speak up to his father for himself - He is a grown man - Sometimes our SO does something in a way we don't agree with - but they are grown - we have a right to share our concerns with them - We don't have a right to tell them what to do - they aren't our child.

Well said Sus none of these issues are so straight forward we have to look at it from all angles

Nice post Dens -- I think sometimes (speaking for myself here) when we have seen SO much negative stuff / scams / pure phockery - it's easy to jump and see the bad possibilities = I pray and hope that it works out the best for you

Philly, sounds like your kids (or at least one) and hubby are really trying - happy for you.

Well said in regards to Dens post!

Thanks Sus ( hugs)

[MRStee 19]

Dillon, you were on my mind this morning. I prayed for you Father I hope he is on his way to recovery, stay strong Sis!

Me too Dills