Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 21)

[Tosh Love 77]

I think kids are the devil! Just kidding.

Raising kids is hard and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Everyone has different styles.

I have been criticized for how I have raised my kids by some people. They say I am too lenient on them. Why, I ask? Cause my kids (17 year old boy, 14 year old girl) make straight A's? Cause my son is taking his first year of college courses FREE in high school? Cause my son got a job the very day he turned 16? Cause they take/have taken care of their elderly great-grandmother, aunts, grandparents, my little nephew? Cause they show respect to everyone.....even if I have to remind them sometimes? Cause they actually talk to me and ask my opinion on important issues effecting them?

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

But, as long as you know YOUR rules and somehow get them to obey them, you can take a different path to get there. You will all find your way.

AMEN! to that sentiment....well said.

I know I am late as usual to this topic but the only advice I will add to this conversation for Irie specifically is to take this opportunity to empower Tierra to speak for herself. Can you set up just an informal sit down and have her express her views to both you and Louis about how she feels and have Louis express how he feels. Young girls have to learn at this age to speak for themselves (not disrespectfully so) because this will shape how they respond to their peers and eventually their partners in life. As a social worker/counselor I see this daily in women and it concerns me. Women do not know how to communicate their needs and wants and often put themselves on the back burner. (Not to generalize)

[My4rmylife 0]

DaDa

Hi My2! I know how you feel....I'd like to get more than 6 (or less) hours of sleep one of these nights!

i am ok i am dealing with this .. the last few days i think i have 6 hrs combined

[IrieCat 2]

I think kids are the devil! Just kidding.

Raising kids is hard and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Everyone has different styles.

I have been criticized for how I have raised my kids by some people. They say I am too lenient on them. Why, I ask? Cause my kids (17 year old boy, 14 year old girl) make straight A's? Cause my son is taking his first year of college courses FREE in high school? Cause my son got a job the very day he turned 16? Cause they take/have taken care of their elderly great-grandmother, aunts, grandparents, my little nephew? Cause they show respect to everyone.....even if I have to remind them sometimes? Cause they actually talk to me and ask my opinion on important issues effecting them?

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

But, as long as you know YOUR rules and somehow get them to obey them, you can take a different path to get there. You will all find your way.

AMEN! to that sentiment....well said.

I know I am late as usual to this topic but the only advice I will add to this conversation for Irie specifically is to take this opportunity to empower Tierra to speak for herself. Can you set up just an informal sit down and have her express her views to both you and Louis about how she feels and have Louis express how he feels. Young girls have to learn at this age to speak for themselves (not disrespectfully so) because this will shape how they respond to their peers and eventually their partners in life. As a social worker/counselor I see this daily in women and it concerns me. Women do not know how to communicate their needs and wants and often put themselves on the back burner. (Not to generalize)

Thanks for that advice. I have actually had a few talks with Tierra. I have explained to her that she should ask Louis to have a talk with her. I tried to give Louis that same advice.. Tierra says she is too shy right now to do that but she will think about it (LOL she is so grown!) and Louis just plain wont do it. "She is a child and she should just do as she is told"...

I will keep trying though. Today was a really good day.

[My4rmylife 0]

good evening everyone ... i hope that everyone had a great day... i am in need of sleep desperately

Get some sleep My2!!!

trust me i have trying .... my poor fiance is blaming himself for my getting hurt ... i told him its not his fault he said i took you theres..

[Ellsinlove 2]

Good words Shauns! I wish someone had taught me that at a young age.....I think I'd be better at facing things today that I don't do so well at now. Sometimes I just don't have the skills to put things in a way that will get me what I want without having to be a b*tch to get there. I'm either too passive at times or a total monster....I don't know the somewhere-in-between method.

[Tosh Love 77]

Good Morning Yardies...

I am asking for your prayers for my Dad. He is in ICU for internal bleeding. He has sorosis of the liver and is actually on the transplant list (not from drinking) and one of the side effects of the disease is that they viens in the esophagus can bust or seep blood. This has happened to him in the past and they were able to stop it by putting bands around them. Well yesterday when he got up he was very light headed and thought he was going to pass out. He went to the restroom and threw up blood and it came out the other way too. They have not been able to stop the bleeding and even put a scope down his throat and could not determine where it is coming from or how to stop it. They cannot stablize his blood pressure either and it was very low like in the 30's.

I know you guys are powerful with your prayers so if you could send some up for my Dad I would appreciate it.

You and yours are in our prayers! Let me know if there is anything I can do. Is he is at a St. Louis Hospital?

[Tosh Love 77]

Good words Shauns! I wish someone had taught me that at a young age.....I think I'd be better at facing things today that I don't do so well at now. Sometimes I just don't have the skills to put things in a way that will get me what I want without having to be a b*tch to get there. I'm either too passive at times or a total monster....I don't know the somewhere-in-between method.

Thanks! Young girls and their plight just happens to be an issue dear to my heart. I am currently anticipating being a foster mother again to a teenager (long story).

Did you guys hear about the 13 year old girl in St. Louis who killed the 9 year old just to "see what killing someone felt like?" Stories like that just get to me...everyone needs someone to stand up for them.

[Shemmy 4]

I think kids are the devil! Just kidding.

Raising kids is hard and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Everyone has different styles.

I have been criticized for how I have raised my kids by some people. They say I am too lenient on them. Why, I ask? Cause my kids (17 year old boy, 14 year old girl) make straight A's? Cause my son is taking his first year of college courses FREE in high school? Cause my son got a job the very day he turned 16? Cause they take/have taken care of their elderly great-grandmother, aunts, grandparents, my little nephew? Cause they show respect to everyone.....even if I have to remind them sometimes? Cause they actually talk to me and ask my opinion on important issues effecting them?

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

But, as long as you know YOUR rules and somehow get them to obey them, you can take a different path to get there. You will all find your way.

AMEN! to that sentiment....well said.

I know I am late as usual to this topic but the only advice I will add to this conversation for Irie specifically is to take this opportunity to empower Tierra to speak for herself. Can you set up just an informal sit down and have her express her views to both you and Louis about how she feels and have Louis express how he feels. Young girls have to learn at this age to speak for themselves (not disrespectfully so) because this will shape how they respond to their peers and eventually their partners in life. As a social worker/counselor I see this daily in women and it concerns me. Women do not know how to communicate their needs and wants and often put themselves on the back burner. (Not to generalize)

Great words.....thanks Shaunsgal

[My4rmylife 0]

ok i changd y pic but i still se the old one ..what do you see

[charandivan 0]

What's up Yardies,

All is well here. Man I go away for 2 days and have 50 pgs to catch up on

Awww...you ladies both made me remember the day my hubby got here. It seems like so long ago...but it has really only been a drop in the bucket. It feels so good.

Char I am in Atlanta too and we did not get any snow...what part of town are you in? A was waiting on it all day because of the weather report...but nothing. I asked him if he didn't get enough of it in Canada...he just thinks it will be different snow in Atlanta I guess. LOL

Hi Yardies...

Always Blessed I'mj so glad you are ok. God is great and he kept you safe.

Friday: Well Garfield came into JFK @ 9:25pm (Air J was actually on time) it took him about 45 min to get out. When I say him I was jumping up & down waving my arms so he cane see me. He gave me a kiss and said see I made it. Well I put on his coat but did not zip it up. When he step outside and felt the NY cold air he FROZE...me and my sister fell out laughing at him. I zipped his coat up and gave him a kiss. The reunion was off the chains......

Saturday: We got up ate breakfast and then went to see my sister, aunt, dad and a few friends all the time it was raining in NY then we headed home around 3:15pm. When the rain changed to SNOW his mouth fell open. I said baby its snowing. He call JA and told his mom he looked like a big kid. We got home after 9pm (after we went to see my daughter at her college, pick up another daughter, went to see my friend and did grocery). We finally went to sleep after midnight and did not wake up until 10:30am.

Sunday: we went to the laundry and then I took him to the mall...when he saw the inside of Arundel Mills Mall he was floored. I have never walked the entie mall but I did today. The man wanted to buy everything but I talked some sense into him. Now we are home and he is cooking us a late dinner.

I sooooooooo LOVE my Hubby

I found you Lady C!!!! Hi I miss you!

Hi girlie whats up? I went looking for your Rum Cream on Friday but could not find any...Sorry

Good Morning Everyone! I wanted to thank everyone for their well wishes and congrats. I wanted to give you guys and update on his arrival so I apologize in advance for being so long-winded....

Airport

Ivan made it in on Friday around 5pm. It took almost a hour and a half for him to emerge out of the terminal so I was starting to get a little worried that he was held up in immigration. But he told me that the plane landed and did not have a gate so they were stuck on the runway for a while. Anyway, my brother and I just waited patiently. Him and my brother had never met, so he kept pointing at every dark-skinned brother asking if that was him. He finally emerged with his white t-shirt on looking so lost and my brother knew immediately it was him. I quickly ran over and we hugged a kissed. The whole experience was surreal because I could not believe my honey was finally here.

We walked over to baggage claim to find that his bags were not there, so we came to the Delta baggage claim counter to see what was up. That was Ivan's first gay male encounter in the US. This guy was flamin' times 10 and Ivan couldn't even look him in his face to answer the questions. In the most feminine voice ever, he was like "Where is your baggage claim ticket?" Then he started humming negro spirituals!! Ivan is looking at my brother like WTH ! I had to step in and save the day! I answered all of the questions and found out that his bags could be arriving on the belt within the next 45 minutes. After we left out of the office, everyone fell out on the floor laughing because he was way over the top. Meanwhile, he was starving so we decided to grab a bite to eat while waiting. Of course, Ivan was looking perplexed at all of the menus . There was Wendys, A chinese restaurant, Domino's pizza and a soul food restaurant. He opted for soul-food and had his first experience with many more to come....After, we ate, laughed and talked. We were finally able to get his bags and walk to the car. Luckily, I had bought a coat, hat and gloves because when he walked outside to the car, he was like It was about 40 degrees.

Friday Evening

After we left the airport, we went to Atlantic Station. This is an area that has restaurants, shopping, movie theatres, bowling alley etc...We walked around to look at the Christmas decor. Then we went to Fox Sports Grille to have some drinks. After we left there, it was well after 9pm so we had to rush off to get my daughter by 11. I think he was really amazed by all of the buildings and scenery. He would often try to get me to describe what things were like, so I think he was just amazed to finally see it. We then drove home and on the way stopped at the liquor store to get his favorite drink, Appleton Rum.

After we left there, we picked up my daughter from daycare (they had parent's night out from 6-11). When she walked out to the car, she was like, " I thought Ivan was supposed to be coming." Then mid-sentence, she looked up and saw him. She walked up to him, looked up and said, Hi! You are from Jamaica." "My mommy said she is going to take me there." He picked her up, kissed her and that was the sweetest moment. They had never met at this point and only talked on the phone so I couldn't believe they were finally meeting. After that we got home, he had his first encounter with the dog. We were laying on the bed and the dog jumped on his chest and stared him done. He started freaking out, like get him off. The dog finally jumped down. I guess that was their male bonding moment. Although, I don't think Ivan has gotten used to the idea of having da dog in the house.

Saturday

We woke up around nine and was immediately greeted by the kids (my daughter and the dog). Ivan opened the blinds to look outside and It was snowing!!! He was like OMG!! I was too...Because we don't get much snow in Atlanta. We then cooked breakfast together. We didn't get a chance to get to the grocery store, so we had to put some things together for breakfast. But, it was so nice to be able to eat as a family. My daughter is a very picky eater, but seems to like everything he has cooked thus far. After we ate, she then harrassed us about putting up the Christmas tree. I told her that we wouldn't put it up to Ivan arrived. And she had not stopped worrying me since he stepped foot in the door. We put on a reggae CD and put up the Christmas tree. Later we went walking through the n'hood in the 32 degree weather. After about 15 minutes, he was ready to bring his rass in the house. We hung around the house for the rest of the afternoon and watched movies. Later, my brother and him got out on the weight bench in the garage, took off their shirts and the testosterone kicked in. They are flexing, comparing back muscles and seeing whose smedium shirt fits the best. My daughter and I were looking like WTH!!

That evening, we packed up in the car to get out. We found a local Jamaican restaurant that is attached to a grocery store. We ended up spending like $35 on a few things, but I was so happy that he has a place close by to get groceries. We later ate at the restaurant and the food was ok. We later took my daughter to Toys R Us. Which Ivan thought was way over the top. He then got his 1st experience at the mall, which was very overwhelming. After we got a couple of sweaters, shoes and visited Sephora to try on all of the colognes. He was ready to roll!! We got home chilled for a minute and decided we were going to hit the club. We had planned to go to Club Intrique where Serani was performing. It was free before 11:30. But we ended up making it there too late and the cover was $25. I was like hell-to-the-no. So we ended up, going to Club 426 next door. When we got there it seemed kind of dead, but Ivan was happy that they sold Magnum Tonic...After about an hour the club was packed and jumping and all you could hear was blop, blop, blop... We had so much fun and it felt so good to hear him day several times that he felt like he was in Ochi. We left about 2:30.

Sunday

We woke up and realized that we were late for church. Ivan made peanut porridge for breakfast and we decided to go the noon church service. Everything was good there and he seemed to enjoy the service. We missed our "Marriage Without Regrets" class so we will have to catch it next Sunday. I'm a little nervous about that because he seems a little hesitant to take the course. Its the typical black male mentality that, "no one can tell us how to be married. " But we will see how that goes. Well I have a meeting coming up so I need to get back to work. Sorry to be so long-winded, but I probably won't get to be on hear as much so I wanted to give everyone an update.

Enjoy your day!!

Hey Jawi,

I didn't know you lived in Atlanta...I live in Canton off of 575

Because I was not up to traveling with the belly this time, his family came from all over the island to spend time with us...

Of course everyone loves Imanni

The boy is a HAM!!!!

Cute Pics JaP

Morning/Afternoon Yardies!

Just in & out real quick....we are back from the AOS interview & we are approved! God truly blessed us even with a really nice officer....Officer Thomas who just so happens to be married to a Grenadan man. She's also a Florida gal so she understands how it is to be from a warm place. We seemed to chat more about food, weather & what not more than interview questions. Lehi ended up answering the bulk of questions & the lady was really understanding of his lack of knowledge of details on things like dates. I'll tell the full story & review this evening when we get home. We are back out to have some lunch before poor honey has to have a root canal at 1:00. Thanks Yardies for all your encouragement! You all are the best!

Congrats on your approval, Ells

I think kids are the devil! Just kidding.

Raising kids is hard and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Everyone has different styles.

I have been criticized for how I have raised my kids by some people. They say I am too lenient on them. Why, I ask? Cause my kids (17 year old boy, 14 year old girl) make straight A's? Cause my son is taking his first year of college courses FREE in high school? Cause my son got a job the very day he turned 16? Cause they take/have taken care of their elderly great-grandmother, aunts, grandparents, my little nephew? Cause they show respect to everyone.....even if I have to remind them sometimes? Cause they actually talk to me and ask my opinion on important issues effecting them?

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

But, as long as you know YOUR rules and somehow get them to obey them, you can take a different path to get there. You will all find your way.

Amen JG! Sounds like you are doing a great job.

[jamerican 2]

MsSheka, why'd he call you moodie?

i was thinking the same thing Nat then shemmy says oh he wants to watch a movie he meant "movie" he wanted to watch "Ice age 3"

that movie was so cute that thing( is it a squirrel) has me rolling with his acorn. I want to see the Princess and the Frog on Friday

a friend of mine who went to jamaica a couple of times with me just went by herself. she just got back saying she is in love.....lord have mercy.....

Finesse why did I just start humming The Love Booooooaaaaat LOL

Girl....I am picking my daughter up after school on Friday and going to that movie.....I am so excited...more so than she is!

[jamerican 2]

I was talking to my cousin who is Jamaican born but now lives in Canada he is more like a brother to me than a cousin. Anyhoo we were discussing the issues with my eldest son and he suggested sending him up there for the Xmas holiday so he can really spend time with him and get into his head. I think this would be great for him because he has such a way with people in general so I know my son would benefit from time with him. He is outside the immediate family circle so he is not viewed as a threat. He knows everything that has been going on and is willing to do anything to help.

Well I discussed it with Hubby last night and he is all for it , he has such admiration for him and thinks its a wonderful idea. I went and did the dumbest thing I could have ever done and mentioned it to my MOM ( UGHHHHH as I pop my self)

Of course she flipped out about it, he must be chaperoned blah blah blah and of course we got into it cause I was traveling between and Haiti and JA when I was younger than him and he is 16 so what is she talking about!!??

Of course we got into it and now she is not talking to me Lawd the drama. I basically told her its my decision to do what I feel is best he is a not a baby he can travel alone he needs to experience this independently.

I know that this may not be a solution but at least he can step outside the family circle and have new experiences and see Canada and come back ready for a fresh start. ( praying that happens) Plus we all need space and time away from all this drama.....

I'm looking for tickets now so we shall see how this all pans out, I think my Mom just banged on me in email LOL if that is even possible!

I think it will be a good break for everyone involved only too bad it isn't for longer. I know 4 months for my son was just long enough for him to miss being here and the newness wore off of being somewhere else.

[jamerican 2]

Okay I am about to get ready and go to the airport. Might have to take my dog with me so he can keep me company. LOL!!!

go get your man girl

ok what did i miss?

do you guys mind if i vent a minute about something?

In case you haven't already vented because I'm still catching up go ahead let it out. U don't need our permission just let it out. You see the rest o the ladies bite our heads off and the afterwards be like thanks for letting me vent. Umm we didn't have a choice did we...

No girl whatever is on your mind spill it!!!!

Nozetta is in the house........

I'm with DaDa on the 'permission not necessary' for venting! Vent away! (See DaDa, I acknowledge you! )

nozetta and friend......

Afternoon Yardies!

I just want everyone who hasn't seen the movie UP to go rent it! I LOVED IT! I never would've guessed an animated flick would make me bawl in the first 10 minutes! Immediately though, it switches into some very funny stuff. It gets 5 stars from me!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to all the birthdays today & coming up!

Thompson, all the name change business does not have to be done all at once, just do a little at a time & it won't be so bad. I finally got just about everything changed over recently. Last thing to do when I have some extra $$ is change my name on my passport.

Lawny, I hope you aren't too hurt today...take care of ya batty & SLOW DUNG!

Congrats Den's on the interview date!

Mstee, I totally feel you on the lack of enthusiasm for the wedding....I felt so fortunate to have a friend who loves the planning & did everything for me or I would've been a MESS! Just try to make it as nice but stress-free as possible so you can really enjoy your day.

DaDa, I acknowledge you often....usually I'm saying 'you so crazy DaDa'! ((chups))

Finesse, Happy 2 year Anniversary!

Mama, enjoy your man tonight....hope you get to take that nap cause it's true, you'll need it!

Dillon, prayers & hugs!

Cat, the wine bottle w/lights sounds like a very cool idea....did you make a hole for the cords or something? We want to know how to do this too!

Philly, glad you enjoyed your lunch! Once in a while it's okay to jump off the track, as long as you get right back on it....otherwise you just feel deprived, so don't feel bad about it....you deserved it.

Congrats Jo & Danny on the visa coming & his soon-to-be arrival!

WTH

Why the heck everytime Ells makes a recap review she never acknowledge me

The last 4 recaps she do she leave me out. Im gon PM her to see if its personal

DING DING DING

Don't feel bad girl....she leave me out too....It must be the "jamerican" in our name

[NatPatBen 3]

Morning.

I have a 7AM meeting (in 25 minutes) and still haven't gotten out of bed. I am NOT a fan of getting up so early.

[IrieCat 2]

Good Morning!

Nat... how long does it take you to get to work? You must be QUICK in the morning to get up, get dressed and get to work!

Tierra is back to school today and its an ice covered world out there! brrrrrrr! We have Girlscouts afetrschool and are going to sing at a nursing home! Nothing like 12 rowdy girls singing songs they dont know! LOL ... at least they are all cute! haha!

I could not sleep last night, didnt get to bed till after midnight... and that is late for me. Good think Louis has this coffee thing down.. And today is my Friday! YAY!

Hope you all are having a LOVELY morning.