Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 21)

[thisislove 0]

irie... yunno we have good days and bad days my gyal..im glad today is turning out to be a good one..its gonna be a process.. you already know.. i know ur just venting..im glad vj is around so we can vent.. nobody take stuff personal, we're just using this as a sounding board and maybe gain some good info while we're at it!

philly, im bout to go warm my bread and put some butter on it LOL

dara and philly.. my mama learned when taylor was a newborn and i was only 18.. I AM THE MAMA.. i think i hurt her feelings a bit, but we have been good ever since.. she prolly harbors a lil resentment, but whats right is right..

i will need her help, but she can't dictate me and my family..good luck you guys!!!!..

welcome blessmeindeed..

[phillyfashionista 8]

by the way which other language mi a talk?

Apparently Chineyish or something!

JG you made me laugh out loud haaaa

You can't really get a true view on anything until you experience it yourself. People say they love kids......yeah, until it turns out you are living with Chucky or Dennis the Menace every single day of your life. You don't know till you live it.

haaaa JG hush now that has me rolling even though its not funny but so true Lawd knows I know!

Hi BlessmeIndeed...lawd we need fi shaten dat deh name welcome to di board mi no know if u knew, but welcome same way

LOL @ Lawny Hello BlessmeIndeed

[IrieCat 2]

going to pick up some family comming in from Jamaica...they're going to be mad cause they connected through Ft. Lauderdale and stayed their a few days...mi sarry fi dem when dem reach outside.

Oh No! And if you are getting the storm tomorrow in your area... sorry for them.

[MRStee 19]

bye everyone...

[*JG* 2]

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

you and your husband have the same ideas about how kids should act... that helps!

Believe it and it more than helps. I can't even say hell in front of my parents...I would feel horible and shame!

i know.. i wish before you marry ppl you could find out their TRUE views on things like kids, but when you don't have any or are not around yours THEN WHAT???

Sometimes you can't get the true views well, 100% of it...that's why I say, you have to talk and talk and talk and ask questions, but most important your kids have to meet this person that's about to be a part of their everyday life.

You can't really get a true view on anything until you experience it yourself. People say they love kids......yeah, until it turns out you are living with Chucky or Dennis the Menace every single day of your life. You don't know till you live it.

thats true..thats why i capitalized TRUE LOL

but i dont really mean if you LOVE them or not.. i mean ppl's ideas about respect, and whats appropriate..

my ex demanded our kids called their aunts and uncles by that name "aunt shay" or whatever.. i however didn't mind them calling them by their name (remember we had our oldest at 18 so our siblings were teenagers)

that kind of stuff..

Sorry, I use the word "love" too much. I meant more or less, people say I want children....I can handle children.....I can get along with your children....you sort of know what I mean? I think people throw around that term too much in relationships. One says, I have kids. And the other says, Oh, I just love kids. That may be true; but to actually get along with those kids and integrate yourself in the same household will be a real challenge.

Basically, the JA man (as example in this case) will not just be marrying you. He will be marrying 2, 3, 4,.....of you. If he has not had any children of his own or doesn't live with his children, it will be a real challenge. And, then there is the different parenting styles of the different countries. Maybe the same attitudes are taught, but I know for sure, from what I saw, things are definately taught differently in the 2 countries. It's a happy medium on styles you then have to mesh. This whole scenario goes for you as well, if he is bringing a child(ren) into the marriage and family home. And, it could go for any couple anywhere in the entire world. Not singling out JA men here for any reason.

It will never be easy.

I can't answer that one, Nat. I am watching a friend of mine get tortured by his soon to be ex-wife. The things she says and does to him, using the kids, well, it's beyond my comprehending. I can see though how someone would actually get so enraged they could really harm someone else. It's not in me; but I could see the reasoning after watching what I have been watching.

well it's in ME -- do sumting to mi pickney n mi naw claim temporary insanity!

There is a whole lot at stake here right now. It's a tightrope he's walking. I feel so sorry for him.

I should rephrase that....it probably is in me. I just am fairly non-violent. Except when I am shooting animals.

[thisislove 0]

im nonviolent too.. well now anyway LOL..

used to LOVE to fight..

[thisislove 0]

i should clarify.. i used to love to fight bullies, i didn't like when someone tried to gang up on someone else.. i wasn't scared of nutting and didn't mind showing ppl, even if i got a beat down a time or two (fought a girl 2 times my size once cuz she pushed my baby brother)

[thisislove 0]

awwww, honey I am sorry

I know the older the kids are the harder it is for them to adjust

Time, Philly... give it time

you!

I'm trying I thought we had moved past the foolishness but now its the older son and refuses to accept Damian period end of story and its not helping that my parents are basically entertaining his tantrums. I try to keep them out of my business especially when it comes to raising the kids cause they treat them like babies but my son keeps bringing them into it. I have a feeling someone is gonna get cussed out before the end of the day!

Philly I have the same problem. My oldest calls my mom every time we get into it and then my parents call me and want me to explain. Thy shall respect thy mother and thy father but I’m telling you I have had it with the questioning from my parents. I could see if I was beating the kids like I really want to well I did kind of take off my earrings and fought my oldest like he was a chic in the street but still besides that one time its not like I’m beating him to death. I had to finally stand up to my parents (shaking legs and all ) and tell them that he is MY son and I will punish him way I see fit. Then I turned to my son and told him he can call my parents the Pope and even the president. If you live in my house you will follow my rules!!!!

He is really challenging me lately. He turned 13 and now thinks he has a mortgage with a job.

good job dada.. im glad you stood up for urself.. u did nothing wrong, ur mom has to respect ur position just as u respect hers..

[thisislove 0]

hey jap..sorry i missed ur return, but i read a lil bit.. hold on my gyal, i know the worst part of a long trip is coming back home.. hope the bambino is doing well

[DaDa 1]

Hi BlessmeIndeed...lawd we need fi shaten dat deh name welcome to di board mi no know if u knew, but welcome same way

Yeah when I seen her name I PMed her and told her to come check us out....

[thisislove 0]

Thanks everyone else for knowing prayers mean good things!

So life is going by... the nursery is empty and mi friend dem ago paint this weekend!

The trip to JA was amazing and wonderful, and sad all at once...

Mi man love mi cyaan done and I sure do miss the belly rubbing and good food!

Him and my son bonded better than I could have hoped

The sunsets were beautiful:

I got to meet JaHoney and Ms.Nelly

wat di rass?? ms nelly inna ja han mi nuh get no text or nutting.. RHATID ms nelly!!!

[DaDa 1]

Dada I think we touched on a whole other issue, Grandparent involvement. Girl these issues with my Mom are gonna rip the family apart seriously. I jut hate the everyone see's Damian as the cause of the problems. Why can't the boys be help responsible for their actions they are not babies and I'm not raising babies either. Why are they not being held to the same standards as I was. I am just mad at everyone right now

Exactly!!!! The things my son say and do my mom nor dad would neva allow. My son complains about cleaning the kitchen. He tells me its too much. Cha!!! At your age I was damn near cleaning the whole house including washing the windows and blinds and you complain about doing the kitchen and you have a dishwasher to help you? At your age I was the freaking dishwasher!!!! And my mom asks me do I do the dishes sometimes to try and help him out? Hell no. Me buying the dish washing liquid is helping him out. He made me so mad I have band him from using the dishwasher since it’s so hard with it lets see how it is without.

[DaDa 1]

thats true..thats why i capitalized TRUE LOL

but i dont really mean if you LOVE them or not.. i mean ppl's ideas about respect, and whats appropriate..

my ex demanded our kids called their aunts and uncles by that name "aunt shay" or whatever.. i however didn't mind them calling them by their name (remember we had our oldest at 18 so our siblings were teenagers)

that kind of stuff..

Ooh Nooo I agree with the X on this I don’t care if the aunt is only a year or two older then them. They have to call them aunt or uncle in front of their name. My one cousin has started calling our aunts and uncles by their first names. I looked at her as if she lost her mind. She tried calling my dad buy his name and he turned around and told her call me by my first name again and watch what happens. She laughed but you could tell my dad was dead serious. She never called him by his first name again.

[JAPrincess 27]

Lawd, mi cyaan keep up with unno!

Q, thanks for the welcome back! I read your interview story, what a ting!

Congrats on the approval!!

I understand the struggle with different parenting styles... my son's father and I were COMPLETELY different where that is concerned. It lead to a LOT of our arguments and was a big factor in our split. A and I have a lot in common when it comes to ideals on parenting. We are both the "babies" of the family and were both a little spoiled, although still brought up to respect our elders. We talk a lot about the issues I have with my son on a daily basis and he helps me to think of ways to discipline or things I can do to help Imanni cope with life changes. Not to say that we don't still have a lot to learn about each other, but the basic parenting style is the same and I am grateful for that!

[phillyfashionista 8]

irie... yunno we have good days and bad days my gyal..im glad today is turning out to be a good one..its gonna be a process.. you already know.. i know ur just venting..im glad vj is around so we can vent.. nobody take stuff personal, we're just using this as a sounding board and maybe gain some good info while we're at it!

philly, im bout to go warm my bread and put some butter on it LOL

dara and philly.. my mama learned when taylor was a newborn and i was only 18.. I AM THE MAMA.. i think i hurt her feelings a bit, but we have been good ever since.. she prolly harbors a lil resentment, but whats right is right..

i will need her help, but she can't dictate me and my family..good luck you guys!!!!..

welcome blessmeindeed..

Q that's what I feel I am the Mother but she calls them her kids LAWD! It causes so many conflicts I can say back off but she nuh listen, I pull back from ar and she makes sure she steps in. Even Damian is tired of it and sees the involvement so plainly but because we are such a small family here in the states its so hard...