Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 21)

[thisislove 0]

the first time i walked into a club, i was 21

but my mom let us go to movies, roller rinks and house parties..

[DaDa 1]

Congratulations, Ells!

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

Last night we were watching Forensic Files on TruTV. There was a case where this man sexually abused his son, and when his wife tried to take their son & daughter away, he killed her. But he didn't just shoot her and walk away. He shot her in the head, then went through great pains to remove her jaw & cut her teeth out, as well as cut her into pieces, & bury her body parts in different places. That way, he felt they'd never determine who the dead person was. He also pushed her car into a lake & claimed that she deserted her family.

My question was, what is WRONG with people who can do this? And I feel most sorry for those parents. How, as a parent, would you feel if your child did this type of stuff!!!???!!? I wonder if there is some common denominator with all the parenting styles of cold-blooded murderers. Not saying there is or not; I just wonder.

--------

I want to go home & play Rock Band, but I still have 3.5 hours @ work.

Wow Nat I’m surprised you watched something like this.

Sounds like someone misses their hubby…lol

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

chiney for aftanoon snack mi ave pumpkin bread from the box...

man..mi LOVE pumkin bread from the box..mi can eat thewhole loaf

wangah gut!

[*JG* 2]

Explain then. You are speaking a different language.

a so yu hask smaddy fi explain something?

i agreed with what Thisislove said..in that there has to be a way one parent uphold the others method at any point..what i was saying in my previous posts was mainly based on how the biological parent tend to minimize issues sometimes, and that everything must be agreed on..not that one parent shouldn't parent and let the other parent..like i stated that didnt work for me when Kashi decided to do that..

in the same u said ur ex saw ur way was the better way

by the way which other language mi a talk?

Apparently Chineyish or something!

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

the first time i walked into a club, i was 21

but my mom let us go to movies, roller rinks and house parties..

dang I didn't do any of that until I was 18...yes, I was ms. boring...I just had other things on my mind.

[*JG* 2]

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

you and your husband have the same ideas about how kids should act... that helps!

Believe it and it more than helps. I can't even say hell in front of my parents...I would feel horible and shame!

i know.. i wish before you marry ppl you could find out their TRUE views on things like kids, but when you don't have any or are not around yours THEN WHAT???

Sometimes you can't get the true views well, 100% of it...that's why I say, you have to talk and talk and talk and ask questions, but most important your kids have to meet this person that's about to be a part of their everyday life.

You can't really get a true view on anything until you experience it yourself. People say they love kids......yeah, until it turns out you are living with Chucky or Dennis the Menace every single day of your life. You don't know till you live it.

[DaDa 1]

I was feeling very angry today and this whole topic of children help me to release and feel better. It also made me realize that we are not alone in this.. This is the MOST crowded I have seen this forum in a LONG time. At the end of the day, I will keep all of us parents in prayer. That God helps us to raise our children to the best of our abilities

Agreed. It has been along time since it has taken me over a hour to catch up.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

Hi BlessmeIndeed...lawd we need fi shaten dat deh name welcome to di board mi no know if u knew, but welcome same way

[*JG* 2]

Congratulations, Ells!

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

Last night we were watching Forensic Files on TruTV. There was a case where this man sexually abused his son, and when his wife tried to take their son & daughter away, he killed her. But he didn't just shoot her and walk away. He shot her in the head, then went through great pains to remove her jaw & cut her teeth out, as well as cut her into pieces, & bury her body parts in different places. That way, he felt they'd never determine who the dead person was. He also pushed her car into a lake & claimed that she deserted her family.

My question was, what is WRONG with people who can do this? And I feel most sorry for those parents. How, as a parent, would you feel if your child did this type of stuff!!!???!!? I wonder if there is some common denominator with all the parenting styles of cold-blooded murderers. Not saying there is or not; I just wonder.

--------

I want to go home & play Rock Band, but I still have 3.5 hours @ work.

I can't answer that one, Nat. I am watching a friend of mine get tortured by his soon to be ex-wife. The things she says and does to him, using the kids, well, it's beyond my comprehending. I can see though how someone would actually get so enraged they could really harm someone else. It's not in me; but I could see the reasoning after watching what I have been watching.

[phillyfashionista 8]

Philly I have the same problem. My oldest calls my mom every time we get into it and then my parents call me and want me to explain. Thy shall respect thy mother and thy father but I’m telling you I have had it with the questioning from my parents. I could see if I was beating the kids like I really want to well I did kind of take off my earrings and fought my oldest like he was a chic in the street but still besides that one time its not like I’m beating him to death. I had to finally stand up to my parents (shaking legs and all ) and tell them that he is MY son and I will punish him way I see fit. Then I turned to my son and told him he can call my parents the Pope and even the president. If you live in my house you will follow my rules!!!!

He is really challenging me lately. He turned 13 and now thinks he has a mortgage with a job.

Dada I think we touched on a whole other issue, Grandparent involvement. Girl these issues with my Mom are gonna rip the family apart seriously. I jut hate the everyone see's Damian as the cause of the problems. Why can't the boys be help responsible for their actions they are not babies and I'm not raising babies either. Why are they not being held to the same standards as I was. I am just mad at everyone right now

I'm getting stressed and I want to eat! I feel like I need to call one of those hotlines haaaa

Tierra and I spent over 5 months with Louis getting to know each other. And I still didn't see this coming.

Now I say all this and Tierra just got home from school... Louis was hiding on her... scared her and the 2 of them got to chasing each other...laughing and playing and all is dandy.... JEESH! So it goes......

Irie that put a smile on my face

I was feeling very angry today and this whole topic of children help me to release and feel better. It also made me realize that we are not alone in this.. This is the MOST crowded I have seen this forum in a LONG time. At the end of the day, I will keep all of us parents in prayer. That God helps us to raise our children to the best of our abilities

Thamks Sis!

chiney for aftanoon snack mi ave pumpkin bread from the box...

Quanna u eat bluedraws? I'm having some now, my aunt brought them up lastnight...she can't wait to leave for TX...she say it's too cold up here...don't look like she going anywhere if we get bad weather tomorrow.

Hush mi dead fi hungry Tre and Q! HUbby chat bout he cooking curry shrimp dis and dat. Cho lef mi and my veggies to starve

[thisislove 0]

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

you and your husband have the same ideas about how kids should act... that helps!

Believe it and it more than helps. I can't even say hell in front of my parents...I would feel horible and shame!

i know.. i wish before you marry ppl you could find out their TRUE views on things like kids, but when you don't have any or are not around yours THEN WHAT???

Sometimes you can't get the true views well, 100% of it...that's why I say, you have to talk and talk and talk and ask questions, but most important your kids have to meet this person that's about to be a part of their everyday life.

You can't really get a true view on anything until you experience it yourself. People say they love kids......yeah, until it turns out you are living with Chucky or Dennis the Menace every single day of your life. You don't know till you live it.

thats true..thats why i capitalized TRUE LOL

but i dont really mean if you LOVE them or not.. i mean ppl's ideas about respect, and whats appropriate..

my ex demanded our kids called their aunts and uncles by that name "aunt shay" or whatever.. i however didn't mind them calling them by their name (remember we had our oldest at 18 so our siblings were teenagers)

that kind of stuff..

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I can't answer that one, Nat. I am watching a friend of mine get tortured by his soon to be ex-wife. The things she says and does to him, using the kids, well, it's beyond my comprehending. I can see though how someone would actually get so enraged they could really harm someone else. It's not in me; but I could see the reasoning after watching what I have been watching.

well it's in ME -- do sumting to mi pickney n mi naw claim temporary insanity!

[*JG* 2]

I feel 'ya but in our situation...things slowly changed over the years. Like he still treats her like a baby...he doesn't want her to walk around the mall by herself (even when we're at the same mall). At 17...she's old enough to drive to the mall.

I'm not sure if D met your dawtah before he came to the US some couples don't have that option -- with me, I couldn't move forward until my son met my husband a few times.

Why doesn't he want her to walk around the mall alone? Why does he feel that way?

No, he didn't meet her before. Not sure if would make a difference at this stage...we've been living together as a family for 5 years. I've know plenty of couples who kids met their spouses before and things did not work out. As times goes by, things change.

My daughter has never given us a reason not to trust her...he just feels like if something happens to her (kidnap) he will be responsible.

Awwwww, that's actually kind of sweet. He's over-protective of her. He needs to learn to teach her to be safe and let her life her life. You can't protect them from everything.

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

going to pick up some family comming in from Jamaica...they're going to be mad cause they connected through Ft. Lauderdale and stayed their a few days...mi sarry fi dem when dem reach outside.

[MRStee 19]

No, he didn't meet her before. Not sure if would make a difference at this stage...we've been living together as a family for 5 years. I've know plenty of couples who kids met their spouses before and things did not work out. As times goes by, things change.

My daughter has never given us a reason not to trust her...he just feels like if something happens to her (kidnap) he will be responsible.

Is this causing argument between the two of you? I think it's a bit much, especially if ya'll are at the same mall. It's not like she's 6 years old, come on.

i know alot of men that OVER protective of daughters, the ooman usually hush them up

I guess, my dad didn't have to worry bout that, cause I'm a daddy's girl, still am and I always wanted to be everywhere with my dad! I call my parents everyday...sometimes I sit on a teen peer counseling group at church and I ask them what's the rush to grow up...dem caan ansah mi...I said look...clubs, malls, boys, girls, dances, parties --- will always be there...I remember the first time I went into a club I was 18 and I was like WHAT THE HELL is the hype all about...tinking dutty bway a try rub dem cratches up against my big A$$ dat ain't happening...

the first time i walked into a club, i was 21

but my mom let us go to movies, roller rinks and house parties..

dang I didn't do any of that until I was 18...yes, I was ms. boring...I just had other things on my mind.

i didnt either tre