Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 21)

[thisislove 0]

exactly.. tre..

roger and i talked sooooo dang much.. like i said, thats what makes it easier now even tho we have different views, we knew about it AHEAD of time, BUT i had to mess up w/ my ex before i knew this..

[DaDa 1]

Chiney, I know it may not solve everything one time. But I can only take it day by day. I would love to go to family counseling but that is not in the budget right now. I also now how stress can effect Louis' attitude.

Louis has no children so this is all new to him. We will have to work this out as a family.

right! but dont u see he has a different view on how a child should behave? stress is no good for anyone..does Tierra say any after he speaks to her or are u the one feeling the "hurt" for her? so ur reacting on his words many children are resilient and until they develop the understanding they will let things "roll" of their shoulders..I see it with Kimora..and she is the only child..and so is Shems daughter

She is an only child but I extremely strict rules in my house...always have and always will. Damien has told plenty of people that I don't play. You cannot have the same rules for a 4 year-old as a 17 year-old..children do grow up.

Hello!!! Preach sista preach. That is what I told my X!!!!

[thisislove 0]

I don't like it when one parent lets the child do whatever they want and leave the other parent to deal with discipling the child when the get out of line...that is not right. That's the problem my brother had when his daugther was 6 years old...her mom let her do what she wanted now she's 16 and her mother can't tell her what to do...u can't bend di tree when di tree start bloom...it's too late.

babay!!! my mama had to learn that! my brotha acted a plum fool at 16 and BEYOND

and yes, my brotha told her that he didnt feel loved by her, even tho she spoil him so and let him do whatever the heck he wanna do, kids want boundaries sometimes

[Shemmy 4]

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

you and your husband have the same ideas about how kids should act... that helps!

Believe it and it more than helps. I can't even say hell in front of my parents...I would feel horible and shame!

i know.. i wish before you marry ppl you could find out their TRUE views on things like kids, but when you don't have any or are not around yours THEN WHAT???

Sometimes you can't get the true views well, 100% of it...that's why I say, you have to talk and talk and talk and ask questions, but most important your kids have to meet this person that's about to be a part of their everyday life.

I feel 'ya but in our situation...things slowly changed over the years. Like he still treats her like a baby...he doesn't want her to walk around the mall by herself (even when we're at the same mall). At 17...she's old enough to drive to the mall.

[NatPatBen 3]

Congratulations, Ells!

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

Last night we were watching Forensic Files on TruTV. There was a case where this man sexually abused his son, and when his wife tried to take their son & daughter away, he killed her. But he didn't just shoot her and walk away. He shot her in the head, then went through great pains to remove her jaw & cut her teeth out, as well as cut her into pieces, & bury her body parts in different places. That way, he felt they'd never determine who the dead person was. He also pushed her car into a lake & claimed that she deserted her family.

My question was, what is WRONG with people who can do this? And I feel most sorry for those parents. How, as a parent, would you feel if your child did this type of stuff!!!???!!? I wonder if there is some common denominator with all the parenting styles of cold-blooded murderers. Not saying there is or not; I just wonder.

--------

I want to go home & play Rock Band, but I still have 3.5 hours @ work.

[Shemmy 4]

Congrats to Ells and hubby

[DaDa 1]

Man I go and clean up for the weekend and yall start a new page. LOL!!!

Always--Hope you are doing okay after the accident.

My2--Congrates on being approved. I know you were so happy!!

Belwin--I am praying for you and your family

Okay. Wednesday is the big day. Eric will be here that evening. Hope all goes well. Got make sure my flask got some liquor in it, so I can take a swig before his plane lands. LOL!!!!!!

(As I pat you on the back.) Good girl for cleaning.

So how is the commute going?

[phillyfashionista 8]

aftanoon massive!

when ppl have 2 different ideas about raising children, im not sure what can be done besides trying to find some middleground..

i had this problem even w/ my kids biological dad, he stayed on them, sometimes unnecessarily in my eyes, and my idea was that "they are good kids overall, you don't have to be so strict"

we fought sometimes about it, but not enough to cause a major rift.. well not that issue anyway lol

roger believes i should punish my youngest more than i do, he has mentioned it a few times, "steph needs a whooping" . and in those instances he was right, i don't notice until she is out w/ others.. becuz she is such a smart and mature child, i try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but in the end she is still a child and i can't let her act so dyam grown.. i may not put my hands on her as much as roger would on his kids (HE SAYS) but i am gnna start laying the smack down more often..

good luck finding ur middle ground irie

Quanna you are always the voice of clarity! I love you Sis!

lol well thank you, i will have to let him know.. He mustve been reading what I was saying today because he just called me and enrolled himself into a medical assistant program at Lincoln Tech... GLORY BE TO GOD!!!!

Yes that is great news!!!

Morning/Afternoon Yardies!

Just in & out real quick....we are back from the AOS interview & we are approved! God truly blessed us even with a really nice officer....Officer Thomas who just so happens to be married to a Grenadan man. She's also a Florida gal so she understands how it is to be from a warm place. We seemed to chat more about food, weather & what not more than interview questions. Lehi ended up answering the bulk of questions & the lady was really understanding of his lack of knowledge of details on things like dates. I'll tell the full story & review this evening when we get home. We are back out to have some lunch before poor honey has to have a root canal at 1:00. Thanks Yardies for all your encouragement! You all are the best!

Ells God is good Sis I knew you would get through!

i'm not a professional in any kind of therapy..i'm talking about kids and behavior..based on my experience with my child and my husband her bilogical dad..i recognized alot of my faults..and he did what he felt was the best thing then and that was to allow me to parent her thinking that would take care of the issue..of course it did not..i'm just saying we cannot dismiss the step parents parenting..we should always give the backing..no one is perfect...and alot of us spoil out kids and we feel no one else has the right to speak to them any kind of way..and that affects a step parent

I totally agree Chiney , its important for us to recognize our faults and individual parent, communicate and stay consistent together.

[thisislove 0]

shemmy! thats gonna be roger girl!!!

i asked him what is a good age for a young girl to go w/ a group of kids to the movies.. him say 17, and that would be okay for alot of parents, but i think i would be ready to drop off and pick up my daughter fromt he movies at 13 even

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

I feel 'ya but in our situation...things slowly changed over the years. Like he still treats her like a baby...he doesn't want her to walk around the mall by herself (even when we're at the same mall). At 17...she's old enough to drive to the mall.

See this is different than what we were talking about ealier...but the rule still applies but it's carried our differently for me at least..

like i would def allow my 17 to go to the mall..however, she will be home by such and such time etc..

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

I feel 'ya but in our situation...things slowly changed over the years. Like he still treats her like a baby...he doesn't want her to walk around the mall by herself (even when we're at the same mall). At 17...she's old enough to drive to the mall.

I'm not sure if D met your dawtah before he came to the US some couples don't have that option -- with me, I couldn't move forward until my son met my husband a few times.

Why doesn't he want her to walk around the mall alone? Why does he feel that way?

[thisislove 0]

I totally agree Chiney , its important for us to recognize our faults and individual parent, communicate and stay consistent together.

PREACH!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats it!!!!

but oh how it hurts to be questioned as a parent.. but when we make ourselves vulnerable and hopefully our spouse will too.. its a beautiful thing!

I feel 'ya but in our situation...things slowly changed over the years. Like he still treats her like a baby...he doesn't want her to walk around the mall by herself (even when we're at the same mall). At 17...she's old enough to drive to the mall.

I'm not sure if D met your dawtah before he came to the US some couples don't have that option -- with me, I couldn't move forward until my son met my husband a few times.

Why doesn't he want her to walk around the mall alone? Why does he feel that way?

cuz men dem CRAZY bout dey dawtas!!! lol

[MRStee 19]

Well my kids treat Steve better than they treat me!

Yeah but MsTee its still new too. They might like the idea now but once they see Steve isn’t going anywhere it might change. All I can say is keep your fingers, toes and legs crossed that it doesn’t change. Well maybe not your legs but you know what I mean …

Umm by time they realize it the will be OUTTA MY DAYUM HOUSE! My way or NO way...

[dillon 6]

don't nobody call me

I would if I had your number

Don't believe her..she said she was going to call me and it has been about 6 months.

[IrieCat 2]

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

you and your husband have the same ideas about how kids should act... that helps!

Believe it and it more than helps. I can't even say hell in front of my parents...I would feel horible and shame!

i know.. i wish before you marry ppl you could find out their TRUE views on things like kids, but when you don't have any or are not around yours THEN WHAT???

Sometimes you can't get the true views well, 100% of it...that's why I say, you have to talk and talk and talk and ask questions, but most important your kids have to meet this person that's about to be a part of their everyday life.

Tierra and I spent over 5 months with Louis getting to know each other. And I still didn't see this coming.

Now I say all this and Tierra just got home from school... Louis was hiding on her... scared her and the 2 of them got to chasing each other...laughing and playing and all is dandy.... JEESH! So it goes......