Yardies a home and a farrin (Part 21)

[*JG* 2]

All I can say is it is tough. Things started out great, I NEVER thought Louis and Tierra would not get along.

I know Tierra can be jealous of Louis and now she has to share me. I do my best to make this a happy family.

There has to be a mutual respect between Louis and I. We will not always agree on everything.

Exactly...I feel the same way. Things are always not going to be easy. We discuss, find a solution and move on.

one person can't be the only one working on a happy home...if i'm pulling and ur pushing where does that get us?

Chiney - My family means EVERYTHING to me. Nothing is one sided..unless you are with us 24/7...it's easy to judge.

where am i making judgments?

Hey, Shemmy.....do you think you really move on? Or do you harbor stuff that later surfaces? Just wondering. My ex and I had different parenting styles. He has since learned my way was actually the better way cause trying to actually control their every movement was not working for him.

We had a lot of recurring arguments over the same damn stuff.

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

CONGRATS ELLS AND HUBBY!!

[MRStee 19]

I think kids are the devil! Just kidding.

Raising kids is hard and there is no right or wrong way to do it. Everyone has different styles.

I have been criticized for how I have raised my kids by some people. They say I am too lenient on them. Why, I ask? Cause my kids (17 year old boy, 14 year old girl) make straight A's? Cause my son is taking his first year of college courses FREE in high school? Cause my son got a job the very day he turned 16? Cause they take/have taken care of their elderly great-grandmother, aunts, grandparents, my little nephew? Cause they show respect to everyone.....even if I have to remind them sometimes? Cause they actually talk to me and ask my opinion on important issues effecting them?

My kids are good kids. How we got here was a struggle sometimes. I didn't want little robots (although they are surprisingly like me in many ways!). I wanted them to have interests and minds and whatever else all their own. I just wanted them respectful, hard working, and loving children. I wanted them safe and secure. I say I have done a fine job.

But, as long as you know YOUR rules and somehow get them to obey them, you can take a different path to get there. You will all find your way.

Well put momma JG!!!

[*JG* 2]

BTW, all that being said, my kids are not angels. I have to yell at them and lecture and even punish more often then I like. They are still just kids.

I had to laugh the other day. My daughter was sitting on the couch with a friend of her's. I was pissed at her for something; but I hadn't said a thing. I walked over and said "you know the rules". She said "huh"? Her friend said "she said you know the rules.". Daughter got up and did what I wanted. I had to smile.

[Shemmy 4]

All I can say is it is tough. Things started out great, I NEVER thought Louis and Tierra would not get along.

I know Tierra can be jealous of Louis and now she has to share me. I do my best to make this a happy family.

There has to be a mutual respect between Louis and I. We will not always agree on everything.

Exactly...I feel the same way. Things are always not going to be easy. We discuss, find a solution and move on.

one person can't be the only one working on a happy home...if i'm pulling and ur pushing where does that get us?

Chiney - My family means EVERYTHING to me. Nothing is one sided..unless you are with us 24/7...it's easy to judge.

where am i making judgments?

i'm not a professional in any kind of therapy..i'm talking about kids and behavior..based on my experience with my child and my husband her bilogical dad..i recognized alot of my faults..and he did what he felt was the best thing then and that was to allow me to parent her thinking that would take care of the issue..of course it did not..i'm just saying we cannot dismiss the step parents parenting..we should always give the backing..no one is perfect...and alot of us spoil out kids and we feel no one else has the right to speak to them any kind of way..and that affects a step parent

I have no problem recoginzing my faults either. That's why I asked your opinion, however it is not an easy task. Parents sometimes will not always agree. I have no problem saying my daughter is spoiled, like myself. There is a way you handle things as a parent. I have never dismissed Damien's parenting skills. But he needs to discuss issues at hand..not wait until things blow out of control.

[thisislove 0]

Well YALL...I gotta go! I need to study before class then after class going to see Tanya Stephens!!!! Whoooo Hoooo.....

Its a pity.....u already have a wife.....

WOW j.. thats gonna be a HOT show.. have fun

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

[*JG* 2]

I can be VERY nice when the kids follow my rules.

I was picking up Molly's boyfriend on Saturday and he asked me if I ever punished her by taking away her phone. I said, nope. Only 2 rules with the phone.......if I ask you a question via text or call you, you answer. And, do not talk on it unless necessary cause we have 5 people sharing 1400 minutes. Text away.

He said what if she gets bad grades? or gets in trouble with it during school? Or talks to late at night? I said, IDK....if I ever come across those problems, I'll make more rules.

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

I have no problem recoginzing my faults either. That's why I asked your opinion, however it is not an easy task. Parents sometimes will not always agree. I have no problem saying my daughter is spoiled, like myself. There is a way you handle things as a parent. I have never dismissed Damien's parenting skills. But he needs to discuss issues at hand..not wait until things blow out of control.

I think ur missing what i'm saying..thats Damiens style? waiting for later or until he can't hold it in anymore..maybe that's the real issue and it kind of engulfs other things along the way...

[DaDa 1]

OMG! I just had the best sandwich for lunch... fresh mozzarella, mesculin, sweet onions, yellow peppers and this spicy apple pepper chutney! I want more!!

Philly... I am sorry about your family stuff. You know Louis and I have been arguing about Tierra lately. He gets on her about EVERYTHING and when I ask him to cool out it usually ends up in a big argument. I am not sure what to do. I have tried to tell him that he needs to show more love, patience and caring... dont sweat the small stuff. Of course he thinks my way is all wrong... * sigh * .... one day at a time!

I feel the same way about my oldest son and my ex husband. My younger three were by him but my oldest is not. I feel like he gets on my oldest about every little thing. He never says anything good but yet he is always playing with the younger ones. That is not fair even though he is older and he has more responsibilities still don’t always look like the punisher or enforcer. Say nice things, take him on an outing just the two of you and talk men things.

[Chiney*Eyes 0]

parenting done...MI HUNGRY...MI A STARVE I SWEAR

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

parenting done...MI HUNGRY...MI A STARVE I SWEAR

u lucky

[thisislove 0]

Hey, Shemmy.....do you think you really move on? Or do you harbor stuff that later surfaces? Just wondering. My ex and I had different parenting styles. He has since learned my way was actually the better way cause trying to actually control their every movement was not working for him.

We had a lot of recurring arguments over the same damn stuff.

exactly.. that why it will never REALLY be resolved UNLESS one parent takes on the ideas of the other,

the only thing you can hope for when you compromise is that both parent is WILLING to give and take, w/out holding any resentment

if BOTH parents are okay w/ that, it can work..

but if one parent feels his or her way is the only RIGHT way, then

[Shemmy 4]

All I can say is it is tough. Things started out great, I NEVER thought Louis and Tierra would not get along.

I know Tierra can be jealous of Louis and now she has to share me. I do my best to make this a happy family.

There has to be a mutual respect between Louis and I. We will not always agree on everything.

Exactly...I feel the same way. Things are always not going to be easy. We discuss, find a solution and move on.

one person can't be the only one working on a happy home...if i'm pulling and ur pushing where does that get us?

Chiney - My family means EVERYTHING to me. Nothing is one sided..unless you are with us 24/7...it's easy to judge.

where am i making judgments?

Hey, Shemmy.....do you think you really move on? Or do you harbor stuff that later surfaces? Just wondering. My ex and I had different parenting styles. He has since learned my way was actually the better way cause trying to actually control their every movement was not working for him.

We had a lot of recurring arguments over the same damn stuff.

This is our biggest issue yet. The smaller issues, yes we moved on. I do not harbor stuff...Damien does.

[*JG* 2]

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

Yep, exactly, Tre. I think kids need to learn respect for everyone. Yes, you teach them the whole strangers--safety thing. But, you also have to teach them general respect for every single person.

I am watching someone teach their child disrespect and hatefulness. She thinks she's being clever. It is going to bite her in the butt one day. You cannot teach children that and not expect them to turn on you one day.