Im in shock and I dont know what to do

[Ann Marie and Leo 9]

My Fiancee fessed up to me on the phone just earlier, she comes from a poor family for Hilongos Leyte, she left and went to Manila to find a job, when I met her she was working at a waterstation. Now here is the kicker, she said its been on her mind for a very long time and wanted to tell me this so she can clear her conscience. During our conversation out of the blue she told me that she needed to tell me something, she said she used to work at a BEER HOUSE and would have sex with men for money, she claims she only went out 3 times till she no longer can take it as she was starting to lose respect for herself. Should I be affected by this ? should I lose sleep over this ? right now I am in a world of confusion and so much thoughts are racing thru my mind.

WHAT DO I DO ?

WHAT would you guys do ?

Maybe Waterstation is the name of the Beer House she worked at lol, and I would certainly ask her for a discount on your next trip.

Actually if this post is for real, use your head 'the big one", and judge her for what she is today, not for what she, may or may not have done in her past. She may be exactly who she said she is, a poor girl that made a mistake in her life, but you sound like you already made up your mind that she is no good now. She could also be playing you, and is now pulling out the bait, to see how big a fish you really are, as this whole story sounds fishy to me.

I also loved the movie Pretty Women, and she got her man

[Pinay Wife 47]

i think it would be better if you give yourself space and time to think about what she said to you... and if you truly love her then learn to accept the fact that she did that and just try to forget about it. everybody isnt perfect...but if you think that it can affect your relationship with her in a long run or when your together already then just let her go now...and move on...thats it.

The best advice I've read so far

If you love her, then take her as she is. If not, let go and move on.

[marklovetina 52]

Before going any farther have her get a NBI check. If she's been busted for prostitution or drugs she'd not going anywhere.

If so move on and look for a nurse or student nurse from Luzon as the tallcoolguy mentioned.

Makes things a LOT easier if you petition someone from Luzon. Don't have to go thru the hassels of interisland plane flights and hotels.

Yeah sounds a bit premeditated but it's just as easy to fall for someone with those qualifications. Maybe a rich one naman!

Hint! Next time use a condom!!

:thumbs:

yeah we understand ur situation but u are the only one who can decide what must do to ur situation, glad she told u about what she's doin in manila, but as the other posters here said BEING POOR IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO BE A PROSTITUTE.. and as u said here u met her family and visited her 3 TIMES.. think ur helping her too financially... yeah u love her but think a million times before marrying her.... u wouldnt know the future, she can be good to u but she can be still a prosti in the us... i know someone who did this before even he knew that the gurl is a call girl bcoz he love this gurl he still brought her to us and marry her and gave all his love but after a year then the gurl backed to her what she is doin before...

think a million times its free.. goodluck to u!!!

[Scott and Mhay 57]

That is a tough one. I want to play devil's advocate here...not to be mean and i hope I dont get flamed...BUT face it...all guys end up paying for it in one way or another. Now granted...yes if she worked in a bar and went out with guys and ended up having sex is one thing. I dont see how that is too much different from having a one night stand other than if you pay the girl directly for it. From the way i understand it, the loophole in the philippines is (since prostitution is illegal) you are paying for her "time" not to have sex. You pay for getting her off work not to have sex with you....if she wanted to go home right after she could do that....but of course it would be frowned upon by the bar.

Now the other side..say she went out to party and a guy bought her drinks and she decided to have sex with him on a one night stand. He paid for drinks maybe dinner...granted he didnt know if he was getting any that night, but he still paid for it.

In the end, this is a decision you will have to make. I would think about it for a couple of days...maybe a week or longer. My wife told me some things after we separated (we werent married yet) from korea....yeah it could have ruined everything, but she wanted to tell me. If you do love her, maybe you can forgive her. She was probably young and stupid at the time she did this. Girls in the US do worse than that...guys buy cars for them, pay their bills, food...etc. Some guys dont get any for it, some do...is she a prostitute?

I am just raising the question and not judging so be nice.

[danvil101 0]

You are confused right now, but I guessyou might already made your decision. You just merely wanted a confirmation that what you are about to decide is RIGHT. Some of the opinions here may be the "IDEAL" decision to make, but we are just stating our own point of view. We're not involved here anyway, so why would we bother to think if what we're saying is fair enough for both of you.

You're confused because you are afraid that you may be choosing the wrong decision, but as far as I believe, there is no right or wrong choice, it's how you stand for it.

[ladyinpink 1]

here goes,

My Fiancee fessed up to me on the phone just earlier, she comes from a poor family for Hilongos Leyte, she left and went to Manila to find a job, when I met her she was working at a waterstation. Now here is the kicker, she said its been on her mind for a very long time and wanted to tell me this so she can clear her conscience. During our conversation out of the blue she told me that she needed to tell me something, she said she used to work at a BEER HOUSE and would have sex with men for money, she claims she only went out 3 times till she no longer can take it as she was starting to lose respect for herself. Should I be affected by this ? should I lose sleep over this ? right now I am in a world of confusion and so much thoughts are racing thru my mind.

WHAT DO I DO ?

WHAT would you guys do ?

ADVISE ME PLEASE ?

she is being honest to you and beside that is past at least she has courage to tell you honestly

you are not the part in her life in the past you dont have any idea how she feel ......every deccision has reason

you should respect on that what ever reason she made. it dosent meant she is a bad person fallow your heart....

no bodys perfect in this world everyon make a mistake.

if you really love your gilr it well not effect on you

if you think?????you never made a mistake or conseder a perfect man

well its up to......everyone make a mistake good luck be realistic.

[ladyinpink 1]

Would you get involved with a hooker here? Poor is no excuse for prostitution. Most everyone there is poor.

Hate to be the one to ask, but have you considered being tested for stds now?

yeah im going to have myself tested on MONDAY, I feel violated

many advica but on the ned of the day

you well decide what you want in your life

what make you happy

dont make decission if you are

upset relax coll down your self

things many time before make decission

if she not doing now it was on the pass

she just being honest to you

every one make a mistake in this planet

no one perfect good luck and good bless

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I doubt my reply will add much to this but I've been thinking about it and I'll give you how it feels from the other side of the disclosure...

I'm 39 years old now but I was a different person in my youth (talking teen years) and did some very bad things hurting other people and eventually got arrested and convicted at the age of 16. The charges were not juvenile so I entered adulthood with a very nasty felony conviction.

I wanted to change and recognized that I was broken is many ways even before I was arrested, there just was no place to go to ask for help until the courts got involved.

I spent many years (well beyond what was required by court) in counseling and eventually became a role model to others who were experiencing that same issues I had.

Early in my life I had decided that in any serious relationship there would come a point where I had to disclose this past to my partner before things got too serious. I always kept to this and not once did I lose someone I cared about because of it. Despite that I was always worried when the next relationship came along because you just never know.

After I met Anna things just happened so fast and suddenly I found myself in an awkward position of having passed the point where I should have already told her about it but hadn't...

I was never so scared of losing someone as I was of losing her. I'm sure she was shocked (and will probably never tell me just how much) but her response was the greatest thing anyone has ever said to me:

"I love then man you are today. What happened 20 years ago can't be changed. The fact that you made a choice to change yourself because you didn't want to continue being that person says more about you than the 4 years of your life that you were doing those things."

So Veemer, the questions you need to ask yourself are:

Do you Love the woman she is today?

Can you appreciate that she was strong enough to make the decision to turn away from the money and return to poverty because she didn't want to lose herself to the industry?

Do you understand how much courage it took for her to tell you about her past? On this one remember that unless she has a police record for prostitution she could have never told you about the 3 guys.

As so many have said, in the end it's your decision but don't make it lightly. Sure you can go to the PH and find a Sexy Nurse with no past (and probably even a virgin, etc, blah blah...) but does all of that matter if she is the right one for you?

My Anna stuck with me even when we thought my past would block our Visa Journey because for her it really was all about being with the right guy, not a Visa or money or anything else and her heart & soul knew I was that guy.

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

here goes,

My Fiancee fessed up to me on the phone just earlier, she comes from a poor family for Hilongos Leyte, she left and went to Manila to find a job, when I met her she was working at a waterstation. Now here is the kicker, she said its been on her mind for a very long time and wanted to tell me this so she can clear her conscience. During our conversation out of the blue she told me that she needed to tell me something, she said she used to work at a BEER HOUSE and would have sex with men for money, she claims she only went out 3 times till she no longer can take it as she was starting to lose respect for herself. Should I be affected by this ? should I lose sleep over this ? right now I am in a world of confusion and so much thoughts are racing thru my mind.

WHAT DO I DO ?

WHAT would you guys do ?

ADVISE ME PLEASE ?

I am so sorry I hear you buddy!

In our society today, common prostitution is just in the corner. We cannot pinpoint if the caused of this act, by poverty or something that urged them to do just for fun of it. Or we may call it for pleasure or better than that it thrills them to do it... Mostly, youngster of today was not left by society in guidance: If what is good or bad. We are intittled to our own choice in life.

It's not only the poor people who commits prostitution, being rich or having a good paying job is free from prostitution. You will be shocked to know that rich stupid people do it too...just for fun!

your fiancee earned my respect here...not all people has the guts telling this to the person who they really love. I know deep inside her, she knows what would be her consequence after telling you of her past....but did it crossed your mind too, that she surely do love you this much that she risked by telling her deep dark secret?

If she was not arrested of prostitution, she is free of not answering the question if she has been engaged in prostitution.

Yes, it would be easy to find someone after dumping her...and you'll start from scratch again...and I know this situation will affect you finding someone in the future..and that wouldn't help you, it will make you more confused.

If you can forgive and forget, then go. IF NOT, then you can let her go..it's really hard to earn trust and respect again.. and its hard living with the past..there will come a time that this thing will be opened again and that will be a yuckie argument......But then again, its still your decision....

just my 2 cents....

[rsn 135]

If she was not arrested of prostitution, she is free of not answering the question if she has been engaged in prostitution.

No, this is not true. The DS-156 says nothing of the sort. If she was engaged in prostitution, she must mark "yes" on the related DS-156 question.

[hellINTIM 9]

its so funny to believe that she having sex in 3 guys only if shes working at bar -.-,,,,,, is this real story or just like other topic....

[Ban Hammer 13,445]

If she was not arrested of prostitution, she is free of not answering the question if she has been engaged in prostitution.

oh really? if she's never been arrested, in your opinion she can answer no to this question?

Have you ever been arrested or convicted for any offense or crime, even though subject of a pardon, amnesty or other similar legal action? Have you ever unlawfully distributed or sold a controlled substance(drug), or been a prostitute or procurer for prostitutes?

note that it does not ask if one has been arrested for prostitution. it asks if one has been arrested or convicted of any offense or crime.

the part about having been a prostitute or not is a yes or no, not a maybe only if arrested.

[SuperDuper! 230]

To me it's kinda like the girls whom work in Topless or totally nude bars in USA.

Most of these chicks are either - Coke Whores, Speed Whores, Lesbians, or they are just Fvcked Up in the Head. Bottom line they have low moral and have made poor choices, and will probably continues these poor life choices in their future.

Men being men, I'm sure that most of you guys have been to topless and nude bars. So what do you think of the morals of these men?

WOW. First, I have never liked these places or gone to them. The women are trashy, sleezy, and likely need a lot of antibiotics and vaccinations from all the diseases ravaging their silicone filled body. Nothing sexy about that. A poor and dissatisfying fantasy to say the least. It's really offensive that you generalize to all "men being men." Please try to be more considerate in the future. Thanks.

[=FoxyBLUE= 2]

If she was not arrested of prostitution, she is free of not answering the question if she has been engaged in prostitution.

oh really? if she's never been arrested, in your opinion she can answer no to this question?

Have you ever been arrested or convicted for any offense or crime, even though subject of a pardon, amnesty or other similar legal action? Have you ever unlawfully distributed or sold a controlled substance(drug), or been a prostitute or procurer for prostitutes?

note that it does not ask if one has been arrested for prostitution. it asks if one has been arrested or convicted of any offense or crime.

the part about having been a prostitute or not is a yes or no, not a maybe only if arrested.

Yes sir, in my opinion....if i have been engaged in a prostitution, and wasn't arrested..then I wouldn't have proofs in NBI or any police records...then I can escape that question easily....(just correct me if imwrong please...hehe)

[rsn 135]

If she was not arrested of prostitution, she is free of not answering the question if she has been engaged in prostitution.

oh really? if she's never been arrested, in your opinion she can answer no to this question?

Have you ever been arrested or convicted for any offense or crime, even though subject of a pardon, amnesty or other similar legal action? Have you ever unlawfully distributed or sold a controlled substance(drug), or been a prostitute or procurer for prostitutes?

note that it does not ask if one has been arrested for prostitution. it asks if one has been arrested or convicted of any offense or crime.

the part about having been a prostitute or not is a yes or no, not a maybe only if arrested.

Yes sir, in my opinion....if i have been engaged in a prostitution, and wasn't arrested..then I wouldn't have proofs in NBI or any police records...then I can escape that question easily....(just correct me if imwrong please...hehe)

You would then be misrepresenting yourself by lying on the DS-156. Bottom line is, the OP's fiancee is not going to get a K1 visa unless she lies on the DS-156. Lying is not advisable at any point in this process.