A Question for Vietnam VJers

[Zachary Vu 0]

Hi all,

First and foremost i would like to thank all of VJers in here. You guys did fantastic jobs to help new comer like me with ideas, documents and forms. Before i discovered Visajourney.com, i asked a service guy how much would he charge to fill out the paperwork? $1000.00 that he asked for. But well , guess i don't have to pay him that anymore 'cause of you guys. Thanks again.

Anyway back to my question is i met my fiancee about 2 years , i have been back 2 times visit her. I proposed to her on my 2nd trip. We didn't have a formal engagement ceramony 'cause my ma and pa weren't there. i just wanted to know that if i submit a K1 petition for my fiancee without a ceramony , does it create somekind of "flags" for the consulate in HCM? I knew that US consulate in vietnam is very tough. Or should i wait to file K1 unit we have a ceramony then file? We planning to have a ceramony in April 2010 . Please advice, Thanks guys

[lindal24 1]

I'd recommend waiting until you have the official ceremony, but that's just my opinion. You've spent your whole lives apart, whats another 4-5 months?

On the other side, ScottThuy filed theirs prior to their official enagement ceremony and is waiting for an interview to be scheduled.

You should learn patience now because you've got a long road ahead with the HCM Consulate.

[Anh map 2,098]

The engagement ceremony is one of the cultural norms for K1's in HCMC. The CO's expect to see some evidence of a Dam Hoi/Dinh Hon.

We filed the petition a couple of months before our Dam Hoi. I'd urge you to have a Dam Hoi prior to the interview.

[Matt_Stevens 5]

No Dam Hoi = No visa. Period.

[Haonie 0]

Hi all,

First and foremost i would like to thank all of VJers in here. You guys did fantastic jobs to help new comer like me with ideas, documents and forms. Before i discovered Visajourney.com, i asked a service guy how much would he charge to fill out the paperwork? $1000.00 that he asked for. But well , guess i don't have to pay him that anymore 'cause of you guys. Thanks again.

Anyway back to my question is i met my fiancee about 2 years , i have been back 2 times visit her. I proposed to her on my 2nd trip. We didn't have a formal engagement ceramony 'cause my ma and pa weren't there. i just wanted to know that if i submit a K1 petition for my fiancee without a ceramony , does it create somekind of "flags" for the consulate in HCM? I knew that US consulate in vietnam is very tough. Or should i wait to file K1 unit we have a ceramony then file? We planning to have a ceramony in April 2010 . Please advice, Thanks guys

In my case, I filed the K-1 before Dam-Hoi. And we did all in one (DamHoi, Dam cuoi) 10 days before my wfie had an interview. To me as long as you have evidences, pictures, you can file it. But must have a Dam Hoi before the interview.

[hniHnitsuJ 8]

No Dam Hoi = No visa. Period.

No Dam Hoi = No Visa = No Ba Xa. hihih

j/k. first welcome to VJ family. You should have a dam hoi before filed all your paperwork. Good luck.

[ScottThuy 140]

Wow.. that was one hell of a Dam Hoi.. have not been that drunk in dozens of years... Thuy said her 7 Uncles wanted to do shots.. of course vodka... so I decided to do a pre-emptive strike... I headed to thier table right away and said lets get this drinking out of the way... we slammed 5 rounds fast.. then I had to do the same at another table... at that point I said ok we are done with this and headed to enjoy some food... then the uncles came to me one at a time and wanted to do another 2 shots each. Add to that a few others and it came to close to 30 shots in under 2 hours... Thuy went to help me and eneded up doing 4 shots and she never drinks... we both eneded up trashed and me more so... FIL wiped my face with a wet towel and held the bowl... there is no question that I am part of the family now... MIL painted the bottom of my feet while I slept .. no idea what it was but it was supposed to help me.

As others have said the Dam Hoi is a MUST.. but 30 or so shots is not a great idea...

[lindal24 1]

Wow.. that was one hell of a Dam Hoi.. have not been that drunk in dozens of years... Thuy said her 7 Uncles wanted to do shots.. of course vodka... so I decided to do a pre-emptive strike... I headed to thier table right away and said lets get this drinking out of the way... we slammed 5 rounds fast.. then I had to do the same at another table... at that point I said ok we are done with this and headed to enjoy some food... then the uncles came to me one at a time and wanted to do another 2 shots each. Add to that a few others and it came to close to 30 shots in under 2 hours... Thuy went to help me and eneded up doing 4 shots and she never drinks... we both eneded up trashed and me more so... FIL wiped my face with a wet towel and held the bowl... there is no question that I am part of the family now... MIL painted the bottom of my feet while I slept .. no idea what it was but it was supposed to help me.

As others have said the Dam Hoi is a MUST.. but 30 or so shots is not a great idea...

Congrats on making it an official engagement! Sounds like you had too much fun!! Welcome back...

[Ronnie&Hang 12]

Wow.. that was one hell of a Dam Hoi.. have not been that drunk in dozens of years... Thuy said her 7 Uncles wanted to do shots.. of course vodka... so I decided to do a pre-emptive strike... I headed to thier table right away and said lets get this drinking out of the way... we slammed 5 rounds fast.. then I had to do the same at another table... at that point I said ok we are done with this and headed to enjoy some food... then the uncles came to me one at a time and wanted to do another 2 shots each. Add to that a few others and it came to close to 30 shots in under 2 hours... Thuy went to help me and eneded up doing 4 shots and she never drinks... we both eneded up trashed and me more so... FIL wiped my face with a wet towel and held the bowl... there is no question that I am part of the family now... MIL painted the bottom of my feet while I slept .. no idea what it was but it was supposed to help me.

As others have said the Dam Hoi is a MUST.. but 30 or so shots is not a great idea...

Scott, "front loading" does not work at dam cuoi/dam hoi in VN, huh!...hehehe

I hope you took all the good looking pictures before the uncles took turn down you with those shots. Good to hear you have a good times..hope everything goes well..DOOOOOOOOOOOO

[Happiness123 0]

Well since it seems like they pretty much decide whether you get pink or blue before the interview, does it really matter to do dam hoi before the interview? If you want to be sure then you should wait until after the dam hoi before even submitting your application so you can get those pictures into your initial filling documents.

Personally I only included my proposal picture and a few others in my initial application. I won't have my engagement party until Dec 21st but the interview already happened on the 4th. We were prepared to answer a lot of questions from about everything including the engagement party. But they didn't ask her for any of those. The interview was over within 4 minutes. They just asked her what's my name, what do I do, where do I live, who do I live with. Then they asked for the photos but he just looks briefly at them. He asked why we didn't include any emails or letters (seriously who use snail mail nowadays). She just told them we don't email each other and just use skype to communicate and facebook and he smiled. Seriously my vietnamese is so bad and her english is worse. Our instant messages just look so retarded like 5 yrs old talking to each other using the most basic phrases so we just talk on skype. We did include our facebook entries though. They did not ask her about our planned engagement. The translator asked her are u excited that he is coming back soon and she smiled and said yes.

So if they were planning to give you pink before the interview, the interview is really nice and laid back it's almost like a conversation. But if they didn't like your initial filling and were planning to give you blue then you gotta battle them to hell and back for any slight chance of them changing their mind. I think they probably do a background check on the sponsor too and make a judgement on his/her character based on that... god knows the government knows everything about us.

[BinhJerome 14]

No Dam Hoi = No visa. Period.

Not the case. You do not have to have the Dam Hoi, and if you are going there in April that will be before the interview, and you will be able to submit evidence of that at your interview. It is a good idea to have one, but if you are for sure going in April, I would go ahead and file, then make sure when you have the Dam Hoi you get plenty of photos of it. As others say you have been apart for so long what is another 4 or 5 months? I think that is #######, you have been away for a long time, so 4 or 5 months means tons. My opnion is to get one for sure, but if you know you will be there before the interview, go ahead and file now, this way you do not have to wait another 4 or 5 months, so you can be together sooner. Jerome

[BinhJerome 14]

Well since it seems like they pretty much decide whether you get pink or blue before the interview, does it really matter to do dam hoi before the interview? If you want to be sure then you should wait until after the dam hoi before even submitting your application so you can get those pictures into your initial filling documents.

Personally I only included my proposal picture and a few others in my initial application. I won't have my engagement party until Dec 21st but the interview already happened on the 4th. We were prepared to answer a lot of questions from about everything including the engagement party. But they didn't ask her for any of those. The interview was over within 4 minutes. They just asked her what's my name, what do I do, where do I live, who do I live with. Then they asked for the photos but he just looks briefly at them. He asked why we didn't include any emails or letters (seriously who use snail mail nowadays). She just told them we don't email each other and just use skype to communicate and facebook and he smiled. Seriously my vietnamese is so bad and her english is worse. Our instant messages just look so retarded like 5 yrs old talking to each other using the most basic phrases so we just talk on skype. We did include our facebook entries though. They did not ask her about our planned engagement. The translator asked her are u excited that he is coming back soon and she smiled and said yes.

So if they were planning to give you pink before the interview, the interview is really nice and laid back it's almost like a conversation. But if they didn't like your initial filling and were planning to give you blue then you gotta battle them to hell and back for any slight chance of them changing their mind. I think they probably do a background check on the sponsor too and make a judgement on his/her character based on that... god knows the government knows everything about us.

Photos in the inital filing do not make that much of a difference, the visa is decided in HCMC, they have 2 visits and I am sure plenty of photos to submit with the inital filing, to wait is a waste if they are going to get the Dam Hoi in April, that is only 4 months away, I have NEVER heard of a petition getting sent in and approved AND a interview date set up within 4 months. Getting past USCIS in america is easy, it is the consulate in HCMC that is a pain. Jerome

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Photos in the inital filing do not make that much of a difference, the visa is decided in HCMC, they have 2 visits and I am sure plenty of photos to submit with the inital filing, to wait is a waste if they are going to get the Dam Hoi in April, that is only 4 months away, I have NEVER heard of a petition getting sent in and approved AND a interview date set up within 4 months. Getting past USCIS in america is easy, it is the consulate in HCMC that is a pain. Jerome

I guess it depends on whether or not you subscribe to the frontloading theory. A lot of beneficiaries have said that they saw the paper they ultimately ended up getting, whether blue or pink, sitting on the counter in front of the CO when they first walked up to the window. At least in those cases, it's probably safe to assume that the decision was made before the interview began. If that's true, then the decision is being made solely on the documents submitted before the interview, which means any evidence accumulated between the initial petition filing and the interview may not have any effect on the decision at all because the beneficiary may never get a chance to present it.

If there was no evidence of a Dam Hoi presented in the initial petition, either photos or a statement by the petitioner, then the CO would probably conclude that there was no Dam Hoi during their initial review of the documents. This might be one of the factors in their decision to prepare a blue slip prior to the interview. Maybe the beneficiary could reverse that decision by showing the CO that a Dam Hoi was held after the petition was filed but before the interview, but the CO might not give them the opportunity to present that evidence. Even if they do, it might not be enough to get the CO to change their minds, and the beneficiary might get the blue slip anyway.

Just as there is ample evidence that the decision is made before the interview begins, there is also ample evidence that the entire package submitted to USCIS will ultimately be seen by the CO. These facts would seem to argue in favor of trying to meet all of the cultural requirements before submitting the petition, and including sufficient evidence of having met those requirements in the petition.

I don't believe anybody should allow the consulate in HCM to steer the course of their relationship. However, if you know that you're ultimately going to want your SO to be with you in the US, then you know you're eventually going to have to deal with the consulate. This should at least be considered when making any decision that might potentially have an effect on the success or failure of the visa application. Waiting until after the Dam Hoi to file the petition will probably mean being apart a bit longer, but filing before having a Dam Hoi is a risk that might contribute to the visa being denied, which would mean being apart even longer.

I would allow the relationship to develop at it's own pace, but postpone filing the petition until I felt there was enough evidence to convince any CO that the relationship was genuine. I don't know if frontloading really works, but the arguments in favor of it make sense to me. I would include plenty of evidence with the initial petition.

[Happiness123 0]

I think it all depends on everything else. Do you have any red flag? How's your job and financial situation? Are you both single and never married before? What's the age gap? I didn't have those red flags and I didn't wait for the dam hoi and it was fine. They didn't question it. If you have red flags then i would say wait for dam hoi cause you don't want any more points against u. But if not PERSONALLY i would submit my paperwork now and then when the interview time comes I will have the dam hoi pictures ready. I dunno about you guys but i think 4 months is a damn long time haha I don't have the patience for that. I feel that if they don't believe your relationship is legitimate they will just find some random excuse to deny you if not your dam hoi then it's something else. Some people have a dam hoi for 100 people and still got denied.

I have a lot of uncles that went back to vietnam to marry. To be honest only 1 person had problems and that's because he is unemployed and even has disability benefits, he was divorced, the age gap between them were like 15 yrs. And he still got his wife over granted it was 3 yrs later. I have another uncle - divorced, making 45k a year, and married someone who is 20 yrs younger. She got pink on her 1st interview. Oh by they way, they went as k3 visa not k1 so I guess it's a bit easier. The horror stories on here are so much worse than anything I have seen in my family and I think they have a ton of red flags.

Edited December 6, 2009 by Happiness123

[BinhJerome 14]

Photos in the inital filing do not make that much of a difference, the visa is decided in HCMC, they have 2 visits and I am sure plenty of photos to submit with the inital filing, to wait is a waste if they are going to get the Dam Hoi in April, that is only 4 months away, I have NEVER heard of a petition getting sent in and approved AND a interview date set up within 4 months. Getting past USCIS in america is easy, it is the consulate in HCMC that is a pain. Jerome

I guess it depends on whether or not you subscribe to the frontloading theory. A lot of beneficiaries have said that they saw the paper they ultimately ended up getting, whether blue or pink, sitting on the counter in front of the CO when they first walked up to the window. At least in those cases, it's probably safe to assume that the decision was made before the interview began. If that's true, then the decision is being made solely on the documents submitted before the interview, which means any evidence accumulated between the initial petition filing and the interview may not have any effect on the decision at all because the beneficiary may never get a chance to present it.

If there was no evidence of a Dam Hoi presented in the initial petition, either photos or a statement by the petitioner, then the CO would probably conclude that there was no Dam Hoi during their initial review of the documents. This might be one of the factors in their decision to prepare a blue slip prior to the interview. Maybe the beneficiary could reverse that decision by showing the CO that a Dam Hoi was held after the petition was filed but before the interview, but the CO might not give them the opportunity to present that evidence. Even if they do, it might not be enough to get the CO to change their minds, and the beneficiary might get the blue slip anyway.

Just as there is ample evidence that the decision is made before the interview begins, there is also ample evidence that the entire package submitted to USCIS will ultimately be seen by the CO. These facts would seem to argue in favor of trying to meet all of the cultural requirements before submitting the petition, and including sufficient evidence of having met those requirements in the petition.

I don't believe anybody should allow the consulate in HCM to steer the course of their relationship. However, if you know that you're ultimately going to want your SO to be with you in the US, then you know you're eventually going to have to deal with the consulate. This should at least be considered when making any decision that might potentially have an effect on the success or failure of the visa application. Waiting until after the Dam Hoi to file the petition will probably mean being apart a bit longer, but filing before having a Dam Hoi is a risk that might contribute to the visa being denied, which would mean being apart even longer.

I would allow the relationship to develop at it's own pace, but postpone filing the petition until I felt there was enough evidence to convince any CO that the relationship was genuine. I don't know if frontloading really works, but the arguments in favor of it make sense to me. I would include plenty of evidence with the initial petition.

I agree that the decision is made, I do not know how many times I have said that Binh saw Pink, but at the interview the CO changed his mind. I am simply saying why wait 4 months to file you know they can not get a interview in that short of a time, and once the CO sees that there was a Dam Hoi, this looks even better, it shows that he has made 2 trips, filed, then came back and their relationship is still going forward, on the 3rd trip the 1st after filing they did have a engagement ceremony. TO me this speaks tons, At the interview with or without Dam Hoi photos the Co will ask about the Dam Hoi, and if he says that he waited until his mother could make it, this is even better. I say file, my opnion, but if you can be with your fiancee 4 months sooner why not? You will have EVERYTHING addressed by the time the interview comes around. Jerome