Birth Control

[rebeccajo 14]

Excellent addition to this thread, Gareth!!

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

What?

Ok, I'm very confused. First you made a very LARGE deal out of saying that Ryan would be going with you before you selected a method. I'm actually glad to see that you DIDN'T wait because after all it is your body.

It's your posts that befuddle me. Why would you blame the pill for depression? You say you are overworked, living in a stressful situation, short on funds, and that Ryan treats you less than respectfully (apparently this latest 'ouch' is not the first time).

Ok, I didn't have a choice when it came to birth control this time around. I had to, because of all the complications I was having. I made an emergency visit to my doc, and she put me on birth control. Ryan WILL be going to doctor visits with me, and later on help me out in making a decision when it comes to what birth control, and other things that involve this, that couples SHOULD discuss and go together on. This is OUR life, together, not just mine or his. Two become one, ever heard of that? United. Yeah, there are some guys out there that care enough about their wives to go to the doctor with them. I'm not saying all guys don't care, but some are more comfortable about doing it than others. Ryan wants what's best for me.

There could be MANY factors causing my stress/depression. I am overworked. I do live in a stressful situation. I am short on cash. However, Ryan does NOT treat me less than respectfully. Ryan loves me. He gives me hope. We have our rough days, but now we are sorting through them and trying to find the BASE of our problems. And, so far we have, just needs to be worked on. We had a long talk last night about things. I was just so upset and everything was causing me to get more upset, that it FINALLY broke me down, and he was RIGHT there. I feel better today.

Mandi,

OK, I am probably not invited into this room being a man, but I would like to share some perspective.

1) I think its wonderful you two are sharing this together. My baby and I have talked about this and she has requested that when she is over here that I go with her also. She wants conforted in the situation and also wants us to discuss what is best for US

2) Yes, men generally do not go in the OB/GYN office. Usually its women. I dont know a man that wants to. I dont know a man willing to do it other than me. I am sure there are exceptions, like yours. I will do anything I can to make my baby comfortable. Yes, if that means going in the room with her, so be it. I will hold her hand.

3) My guess is that you two are close in all things, not just this. That makes for a strong relationship. We have that and I appreciate that. I think to a point that people have become so independant that they don't include thier spouse on things that could sometimes bring them together. My perspective is it is now 'us' not you and me...AND FOR YOU THAT WILL START TO FLAME ME, I said 'US' not me. Her happiness and welfare comes before mine. She is my happiness and to know she is ok and happy is all I need.

4) About the implant in the arm (obviously I have never experienced this personally). I know two ladies that did that and it turned out badly. It may not happen to everyone but they seemed to be on their period more than off. My sister sarcastically joked that it was 'the best birth control ever cause you could never have sex'. She and my friend both end up having them removed they were tired of that. Just what i know from the outside.

5) Summary. If he wants to be there with you, then take him. Talk things out and choose whats best for you two as a couple. I believe you two are loving and caring and my perception of him is that he is not selfish doing this for personal gain anyways.

Congrats on finding happiness. I wish you the best.

First off, the topic said "For the Ladies", however, it did not say "Ladies Only!" Thank you, you helped prove there ARE men like that out there. I am independent, but at the same time, I am very dependant upon my fiancé.

"...loving and caring..." That we are. Like I said, we have rough times, but we love each other more than anything.

Edited August 9, 2006 by Mandi

[Yodrak 7]

Mandi,

My wife recommends getting the husband a vasectomy. From personal experience.

Yodrak

Ok ladies, I have heard many things about many types of birth control. So far, I have only tried the pill. There are many types of pills and I've heard they cause weight gain. About the shot, I've heard that it can cause infertility. And well, there is the patch, haven't heard much about it, other than it costs more. So, what type do you recommend, from personal experiences? Is there one I'm missing, besides the other contraceptives?

[sbgwolf1 0]

What?

Ok, I'm very confused. First you made a very LARGE deal out of saying that Ryan would be going with you before you selected a method. I'm actually glad to see that you DIDN'T wait because after all it is your body.

It's your posts that befuddle me. Why would you blame the pill for depression? You say you are overworked, living in a stressful situation, short on funds, and that Ryan treats you less than respectfully (apparently this latest 'ouch' is not the first time).

Ok, I didn't have a choice when it came to birth control this time around. I had to, because of all the complications I was having. I made an emergency visit to my doc, and she put me on birth control. Ryan WILL be going to doctor visits with me, and later on help me out in making a decision when it comes to what birth control, and other things that involve this, that couples SHOULD discuss and go together on. This is OUR life, together, not just mine or his. Two become one, ever heard of that? United. Yeah, there are some guys out there that care enough about their wives to go to the doctor with them. I'm not saying all guys don't care, but some are more comfortable about doing it than others. Ryan wants what's best for me.

There could be MANY factors causing my stress/depression. I am overworked. I do live in a stressful situation. I am short on cash. However, Ryan does NOT treat me less than respectfully. Ryan loves me. He gives me hope. We have our rough days, but now we are sorting through them and trying to find the BASE of our problems. And, so far we have, just needs to be worked on. We had a long talk last night about things. I was just so upset and everything was causing me to get more upset, that it FINALLY broke me down, and he was RIGHT there. I feel better today.

Mandi,

OK, I am probably not invited into this room being a man, but I would like to share some perspective.

1) I think its wonderful you two are sharing this together. My baby and I have talked about this and she has requested that when she is over here that I go with her also. She wants conforted in the situation and also wants us to discuss what is best for US

2) Yes, men generally do not go in the OB/GYN office. Usually its women. I dont know a man that wants to. I dont know a man willing to do it other than me. I am sure there are exceptions, like yours. I will do anything I can to make my baby comfortable. Yes, if that means going in the room with her, so be it. I will hold her hand.

3) My guess is that you two are close in all things, not just this. That makes for a strong relationship. We have that and I appreciate that. I think to a point that people have become so independant that they don't include thier spouse on things that could sometimes bring them together. My perspective is it is now 'us' not you and me...AND FOR YOU THAT WILL START TO FLAME ME, I said 'US' not me. Her happiness and welfare comes before mine. She is my happiness and to know she is ok and happy is all I need.

4) About the implant in the arm (obviously I have never experienced this personally). I know two ladies that did that and it turned out badly. It may not happen to everyone but they seemed to be on their period more than off. My sister sarcastically joked that it was 'the best birth control ever cause you could never have sex'. She and my friend both end up having them removed they were tired of that. Just what i know from the outside.

5) Summary. If he wants to be there with you, then take him. Talk things out and choose whats best for you two as a couple. I believe you two are loving and caring and my perception of him is that he is not selfish doing this for personal gain anyways.

Congrats on finding happiness. I wish you the best.

First off, the topic said "For the Ladies", however, it did not say "Ladies Only!" Thank you, you helped prove there ARE men like that out there. I am independent, but at the same time, I am very dependant upon my fiancé.

"...loving and caring..." That we are. Like I said, we have rough times, but we love each other more than anything.

haha. Mandi you made my day. 'two become one'. My baby and I say it all the time. There is not 'you' and 'me' but 'us', in all things. There is not 'mine' and 'yours' but 'ours'. And there is no part of my life I want to separate from her. Yes, when I will go to the Dr, I will feel more comfortable with her there beside me (regardless of why). If a Dr. tells me she isnt allowed in the room, there will be a fight on his hands (unless its a 'surgery'). I am glad to see you and I view things the similarly. I want us dependant on each other always. Sorry, no its not 'macho', but she is everything to me and I want to be the same to her. Face everything hand in hand...trials, happiness, doctors, decisions.

Congratulations on what I believe will be a wonderful relationship. Take care and dont change. Its good you found someone to believe as you do. Just dont let others detour you from who you are and the girl he fell in love with.

Take him with you. Talk about it. Make your decision. Don't worry about anyone else. Take care always!

[Yodrak 7]

Alex+R,

Being part of the decision process does not necessarily mean having an equal say. Why do you appear to assume that it does?

Yodrak

Yeeahh.... Mandi, does this mean you and Ryan are going to be choosing what goes into your body together? As in, he will have an equal say in whether or not you use a pill or a patch, etc.? WHY?

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

What?

Ok, I'm very confused. First you made a very LARGE deal out of saying that Ryan would be going with you before you selected a method. I'm actually glad to see that you DIDN'T wait because after all it is your body.

It's your posts that befuddle me. Why would you blame the pill for depression? You say you are overworked, living in a stressful situation, short on funds, and that Ryan treats you less than respectfully (apparently this latest 'ouch' is not the first time).

Ok, I didn't have a choice when it came to birth control this time around. I had to, because of all the complications I was having. I made an emergency visit to my doc, and she put me on birth control. Ryan WILL be going to doctor visits with me, and later on help me out in making a decision when it comes to what birth control, and other things that involve this, that couples SHOULD discuss and go together on. This is OUR life, together, not just mine or his. Two become one, ever heard of that? United. Yeah, there are some guys out there that care enough about their wives to go to the doctor with them. I'm not saying all guys don't care, but some are more comfortable about doing it than others. Ryan wants what's best for me.

There could be MANY factors causing my stress/depression. I am overworked. I do live in a stressful situation. I am short on cash. However, Ryan does NOT treat me less than respectfully. Ryan loves me. He gives me hope. We have our rough days, but now we are sorting through them and trying to find the BASE of our problems. And, so far we have, just needs to be worked on. We had a long talk last night about things. I was just so upset and everything was causing me to get more upset, that it FINALLY broke me down, and he was RIGHT there. I feel better today.

Mandi,

OK, I am probably not invited into this room being a man, but I would like to share some perspective.

1) I think its wonderful you two are sharing this together. My baby and I have talked about this and she has requested that when she is over here that I go with her also. She wants conforted in the situation and also wants us to discuss what is best for US

2) Yes, men generally do not go in the OB/GYN office. Usually its women. I dont know a man that wants to. I dont know a man willing to do it other than me. I am sure there are exceptions, like yours. I will do anything I can to make my baby comfortable. Yes, if that means going in the room with her, so be it. I will hold her hand.

3) My guess is that you two are close in all things, not just this. That makes for a strong relationship. We have that and I appreciate that. I think to a point that people have become so independant that they don't include thier spouse on things that could sometimes bring them together. My perspective is it is now 'us' not you and me...AND FOR YOU THAT WILL START TO FLAME ME, I said 'US' not me. Her happiness and welfare comes before mine. She is my happiness and to know she is ok and happy is all I need.

4) About the implant in the arm (obviously I have never experienced this personally). I know two ladies that did that and it turned out badly. It may not happen to everyone but they seemed to be on their period more than off. My sister sarcastically joked that it was 'the best birth control ever cause you could never have sex'. She and my friend both end up having them removed they were tired of that. Just what i know from the outside.

5) Summary. If he wants to be there with you, then take him. Talk things out and choose whats best for you two as a couple. I believe you two are loving and caring and my perception of him is that he is not selfish doing this for personal gain anyways.

Congrats on finding happiness. I wish you the best.

First off, the topic said "For the Ladies", however, it did not say "Ladies Only!" Thank you, you helped prove there ARE men like that out there. I am independent, but at the same time, I am very dependant upon my fiancé.

"...loving and caring..." That we are. Like I said, we have rough times, but we love each other more than anything.

haha. Mandi you made my day. 'two become one'. My baby and I say it all the time. There is not 'you' and 'me' but 'us', in all things. There is not 'mine' and 'yours' but 'ours'. And there is no part of my life I want to separate from her. Yes, when I will go to the Dr, I will feel more comfortable with her there beside me (regardless of why). If a Dr. tells me she isnt allowed in the room, there will be a fight on his hands (unless its a 'surgery'). I am glad to see you and I view things the similarly. I want us dependant on each other always. Sorry, no its not 'macho', but she is everything to me and I want to be the same to her. Face everything hand in hand...trials, happiness, doctors, decisions.

Congratulations on what I believe will be a wonderful relationship. Take care and dont change. Its good you found someone to believe as you do. Just dont let others detour you from who you are and the girl he fell in love with.

Take him with you. Talk about it. Make your decision. Don't worry about anyone else. Take care always!

Well, you made my day as well. Check PM!

[no name 1]

Do I want his input? Most definitely. I feel confident we can discuss it & I can go all by myself(no, really, I can!) to get my pap smear & discuss my options with my gyno. There's no need for him to sit in the waiting room for me, PUHLEASE.

End of the day, it's MY BODY & MY RISKS. So I will decide MYSELF.

Doesn't anyone here go non-hormonal with a diaphragm? Many of my 30-something UK girlfriends use it. Including myself!

Edited August 9, 2006 by devilette

[CarolineM 0]

I kinda resent the implication that people who don't hold hands through every little detail of life aren't "close." Are STewart and I close? Of course... Do I need him to tell me what kind of BC to use? No. Do I need him to go the OBGYM with me? No.

I think it's just a different kind of woman who needs that kind of relationship and a different kind of man that wants it.

Just my opinion.

Do I want his input? Most definitely. I feel confident we can discuss it & I can go all by myself(no, really, I can!) to get my pap smear & discuss my options with my gyno. There's no need for him to sit in the waiting room for me, PUHLEASE.

End of the day, it's MY BODY & MY RISKS. So I will decide MYSELF.

AMEN! Well put.

[rebeccajo 14]

*sigh*

Mandi why is it that unless someone posts a 'rah rah' response you take a defensive posture?

I don't fire off posts about delicate matters with no thought to them. I take my time and try to write down my perspective in a careful manner while still holding true to what I think. It is never my intention to hurt someone - only to offer up another view. In the case of what I wrote above I even specifically told you I was not flaming you or being hateful.

Whether it is message boards or everyday conversation, when you engage people by seeking their opinions or advice, you are likely to get a perspective different than your own. If you are not truly interested in different perspectives you should not ask for them.

It is not always easy to read or hear what others have to say. If they say it in a cruel manner then you don't have to put up with that. On the other hand, if they offer their thoughts with at least a modicum of decency, then the least you should do is consider it. It might not be all roses and daisies, but it might be worthwhile.

When you respond in a manner such as 'have you ever heard of two becoming one' - well what I get from that is a smart-alecky high-handed retort insinuating your values are above mine. They are not and even if somehow you have the audacity to think they are, you are wrong.

[Perseverance 1]

I use the Mirena IUD and have never had a problem. I had problems with many pills before lots of bleeding for weeks at a time and headaches and lovely acne from the hormones. Once I got my IUD I was a happy woman, no headaches, no acne and no periods...yep none. My Dr said that every woman has a different reaction because everyones bodies are different. So What happens to one individual may not happen to another. Also I have friends who have never had children and they have IUDs as well. Drs are more willing to use them now things have changed and new IUDs are not like the old ones. And my IUD is good for 5 years. It can always be removed before the time is up should I so choose. I think its great, I wish I had used an IUD years ago and saved myself the agony of what the pills had done to me. Tried the shot as well, made me wacky. Good Luck with whatever you choose.

[CarolineM 0]

If I asked him to go with me...he's there. If I ask his opinion, he'll give it to me.

Two can become one .. without a sense of separation of where you end and he begins.

[onwa 6]

Since my fiance was from a place where condoms are the main form of birth control, I found it helpful to have the doctor discuss with both of us all the different forms and their pros and cons. I was already on the pill but needed to switch for various reasons. SOmetimes it is helpful to have your SO with you to discuss birth control, as in my case, the doctor could do a better job of explaining then I could.

[no name 1]

Two can become one .. without a sense of separation of where you end and he begins.

Co-dependency is an ugly thing....IMO

[rebeccajo 14]

Two can become one .. without a sense of separation of where you end and he begins.

Co-dependency is an ugly thing....IMO

Dev, what time is your plane? Are you just passing time? LOL

[sbgwolf1 0]

Two can become one .. without a sense of separation of where you end and he begins.

Co-dependency is an ugly thing....IMO

Me butting in now. If anyone recalls the thread subject it is 'what type of birth control', not 'I want your opinion on whether my SO should go to the Dr. with me' or 'what is your opinion of me taking him with me'. This tangent started when during an explanation that they had a Dr appointment. If the main focus of the thread was followed instead of attacks or unrequested advice on something she was happy with, then she wouldnt be defensive.