Birth Control

[rebeccajo 14]

Mandi, my comments don't have one thing to do with togetherness or partnering or luvey-duvey stuff. They are based on life experience. They are also purely opinion, but nonetheless opinion based on having had MANY years to ponder it.

My foray into birth control began in the medical 'dark ages' of pregnancy prevention (70's). The pill had been on the market a while when I started taking it, but there was still not a lot available - it came in about 3 MUCH higher dosage versions than available today. There was also the IUD. Both were regarded as 'revolutionary' because men didn't have to be bothered with nasty condoms. Ho hum.

As that was all there was available, I took it in a fairly high dosage for many years, off and on, and it never caused me any issues with conception later on.

Sure, couples should DISCUSS birth control. But at the end of the day I just firmly believe that the man should respect his partner enough to allow her to make the end decision. It's her body and not his. She is the one who can get pregnant and she is the one who will be dumping drugs into her body.

The woman should consult her physician and make an informed decision based on medical fact, not mid-wifery. And she should use a method that also fits her lifestyle.

Back when the pill revolutionized conception, the big draw was it took condoms out of the equation. Men don't care for condoms - they contend it takes some of the pleasure out of the act. And so women, ever eager to make their men happy, started taking the pill. Do you see where I am coming from?

It's very very hard for me to believe that most men would choose condoms as a way of preventing pregnancy versus their woman taking a drug. Yet everyday women (myself included) choose a method that requires the introduction of a drug into their body. I believe we are largely influenced to do that because we want to keep the sex act pleasureable and readily available to our man. We want to make them happy and keep them satisfied.

That's just my 'hippie' perspective. After having taken the pill for 15 years or so, I eventually used the old-fashioned rhythm method. It worked for me because I was 'regular' and I didn't mind keeping track of things. It didn't work for me when I allowed intercourse with my then-husband too 'close' to one of ovulation cycles - the now 18 year old result just passed through the hallway carrying a huge bowl of cereal and half a gallon of milk.

It's your body. Not your mans. Discuss what works for you as a couple but take control of your reproductive future and your overall future health based on your god-given female instincts. And if you decide your man needs to wear a condom because you'd rather not take a drug - oh well - too bad so sad. He should be just as willing to do that as you would be to artificially regulate your hormonal cycles.

Edited July 23, 2006 by rebeccajo

[CarolineM 0]

Thirdly, "Goodluck on your choosing. So are u making in decision yet over this comments?" No, like I said, it will be a decision Ryan and I make together

I will refrain from comment...but honestly it is your body...I'm glad he's involved and that's AWESOME but at some point you have to make desicions that are good for YOU!! Good luck with whatever you choose.

Anyway - ICEY - HAHAHA I SHOULD have -email reminders but somehow I manage to remember. I few time sI've taken it out a day late or something but I always remember to put it back in I mark my calender up to remind me! Rembering two dates a month is WAY easier than every day of the month

Sure, couples should DISCUSS birth control. But at the end of the day I just firmly believe that the man should respect his partner enough to allow her to make the end decision. It's her body and not his. She is the one who can get pregnant and she is the one who will be dumping drugs into her body.

The woman should consult her physician and make an informed decision based on medical fact, not mid-wifery. And she should use a method that also fits her lifestyle

Right on!!!

[dani_christine 0]

i did a little more research this morning on this topic. i do want to apologize if i offended anyone with my views about hormonal birth control. i know that *most* couples in the US use one of the variations of hormonal birth control, and most have no issues with it. as my husband and i are struggling with infertility, i have possibly, a skewed perspective, as the women i know whose bodies have been jacked up by the pill (or the shot, or the implants, or IUD's) may be disporportionally high.

anyway, here is a little more information, if anyone's interested:

Fertility After Oral Contraceptives

Birth control pills are a popular choice of contraception for women wishing to delay pregnancy. As such, many women who are now trying to conceive have recently discontinued oral contraceptives. After discontinuing the pill, concerns often arise about the effects of previous oral contraceptive use on one's current ability to conceive.

Some of the questions that are frequently asked about oral contraceptives include:

* How long will it take my cycle to regulate after discontinuing the pill?

* Will previous pill use impact my future fertility?

* How long will it take me to get pregnant after discontinuing the pill?

* Can I start charting right after discontinuing the pill?

Surprisingly, there are few recent scientific studies responding to these questions. One relevant comprehensive recent study, however, is that by Dr. C. Gnoth and his colleagues at the University of Dusseldorf in Germany. In an article titled "Cycle characteristics after discontinuation of oral contraceptives," published in the journal Gynecological Endocrinology in 2002, Gnoth and his colleagues compared the cycle characteristics of women who had recently stopped taking the pill with those who had never used oral contraceptives. The cycle characteristics were determined using basal body temperature (BBT) charts.

Relevant Findings

* 57.9% of all first cycles after discontinuing oral contraceptives were ovulatory (identified with BBT shift) with sufficient luteal phases (greater than 10 days).

* 10.24% of all first cycles after discontinuing oral contraceptives were not ovulatory (compared with 3.44% of control group). Significant differences also appeared in the second and third cycles after discontinuing oral contraceptives.

* Cycles were longer in the post-pill group up to cycle number 12.

* Cycle disturbances (defined as a luteal phase length of less than 10 days or a cycle length greater than 35 days) were more frequent in the post-pill group until the seventh cycle.

* Cycle disturbances after discontinuing oral contraceptives were reversible but regulation took up to nine months or longer.

Other Factors: Age and Previous Births

Other factors that may play a role in the time it takes for fertility to return after discontinuing oral contraceptives are age and parity (number of previous births). In a 1986 study published in The British Journal of Family Planning, Vessey, Smith and Yeates measured the influence of age and parity on the time it takes for fertility to return after discontinuing oral contraceptives. They compared women aged 25-29 with women aged 30-35 and those who had previously given birth versus those who had never given birth.

Some of their relevant findings included the following:

* For women who had already had children, impairment of fertility after discontinuing the pill was very slight and of very short duration for women in both age groups.

* Women aged 25-29 who had never had children had some impairment of fertility after discontinuing oral contraceptives but the effect was relatively short-lived.

* Women aged 30-35 who had never had children had the longest delay in conceiving after discontinuing oral contraceptives but there was no evidence that the pill caused permanent sterility.

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/Faqs/Fertil...raceptives.html

[rebeccajo 14]

Dani's perspective is a good one I think. If from nothing other than the vantage point of how things can change once you decide to take your relationship from the first level of physical attraction to bringing a new life into the world.

I wonder how many of us women would encourage our man to take a drug to keep his erection pencil-sharp purely for the purpose of making sex pleasurable for us? Not many, I think. If it was his idea and he didn't mind the medical risks, we might ok it. But I don't think we'd be all over it just to make sex convenient and exciting for us. And THAT is all I mean about taking accountabilty for your own female body. Do what is right for you and what seems medically safe for you. Don't do it based on SEX.

On a lighter note, just how many men have you seen even POST in this thread? One. That's how much they want to be involved in fertility decisions. Just because the thread title says 'Ladies Only' means nothing. That usually draws them like flies.....*smirk*

Edited July 23, 2006 by rebeccajo

[Tim and Bethanie 1]

It's your body. Not your mans. Discuss what works for you as a couple but take control of your reproductive future and your overall future health based on your god-given female instincts. And if you decide your man needs to wear a condom because you'd rather not take a drug - oh well - too bad so sad. He should be just as willing to do that as you would be to artificially regulate your hormonal cycles.

Discuss it all you want with your other half, but at the end of the day its your body being screwed about with hormones not his! My body has never handled any form of the pill well, I end up with a cycle that last for nearly a month. Why bother taking it when all it does is make me not want to have sex in the first place? Fine tuning, lots of practice and control work well for us.

Becca, pass out condoms, see if you can draw the men in! Won't happen!

[rebeccajo 14]

Becca, pass out condoms, see if you can draw the men in! Won't happen!

Exactly my point!

[wherezdabearz 0]

Interesting topic. I've been taking the pill for the past twenty years - it took several years to find the one which suited me best, but my periods used to be so awful that it revolutionized my life . Whenever I change doctor I'm terrified that he/she'll take me off it. I've continued to take it even during times in the emotional wilderness when sex was the last thing I was interested in. In fact, I look on the contraceptive aspect as a convenient side effect of the medication. And John's had the snip so there's really no need for that now anyway.

Now I sometimes I get migraines the first day or two of my period, but that's soooo much better than ten days of agonizing cramps, massive bleeding and not knowing if it would happen 21 or 45 days after the previous one...

I hadn't been keeping up with new developments and am going to look into Seasonale. Thanks for the information

Alison

[Mandi+Ryan 1]

I'm starting to think THIS is also the reason for MORE depression in my life. Birth control. I have lots of stress and depression as it is, but I believe it started getting worse once I started the birth control. So, with all things tied together...this thread [birth control], Because You Had a Bad Day [my stress-venting thread], and the Ouch thread [him saying he hates me]. I think im about to crack.

Edited August 9, 2006 by Mandi

[rebeccajo 14]

What?

Ok, I'm very confused. First you made a very LARGE deal out of saying that Ryan would be going with you before you selected a method. I'm actually glad to see that you DIDN'T wait because after all it is your body.

It's your posts that befuddle me. Why would you blame the pill for depression? You say you are overworked, living in a stressful situation, short on funds, and that Ryan treats you less than respectfully (apparently this latest 'ouch' is not the first time).

Looking from the outside in, I would say that a little birth control tablet is less likely to be causing you stress than the other factors in your life. Blaming a recent chemical addition to your life is, in my book, no different than a person who purposely uses chemicals to hide from problems.

You are in a tough spot right now. I think you would be better served trying to locate the real source of your turmoil than trying to shift blame to something else. I doubt very much that 'the Pill' has made you cranky. Just as I doubt that Ryan getting here will solve your depression.

Outside factors and other people can't solve your problems. Soul searching and problem solving does. Do it and stop looking for excuses for your misery or band-aid solutions to your happiness.

This isn't flaming or hatefulness on my part. It's a reality check. We've all had times in our lives when we needed one. This is yours.

Edited August 9, 2006 by rebeccajo

[jo&john 1]

Take a look at this website...you have an array of information...choose what is best for you (Informed Choice) ... This section provides basic information on a range of contraceptive methods, including factors to consider when choosing a method.

http://www.engenderhealth.org/wh/fp/

Good luck!

[Alex+R 0]

Mandi, I swear the cure you need is more exercise. It makes 100% of a difference in my life. It's depression or exercise, a clear choice.

[MrsBruce5 0]

I have to add my say in here...

I too, had been on the pill for years-I also suffered from depression from the pill and it KILLED my sex drive. Synthetic hormones were not really suited toward my body. They are not for everyone.

I stopped taking it a year before I began trying to become pregnant, and realized that I felt better. MUCH better.

Fast forward 12 years later...We do not plan on having any more children. I decided to go with a non-hormonal IUD, and have had NO side effects (cramps, heavy period, spotting).

I will not have to even think about birth control for the next 10 years-in which case I will probably be peri-menopausal,

The IUD is not for everyone, however-it works well for me.

And, you do NOT have to bear any children you have one implanted. The reason that was once the case is b/c docs had a hard time inserting it into the cervical OS if no cervical dilation had taken place.

While I do have 1 child, my child was born through a c-section, as my cervix failed to dilate. The insertion was a bit painful, but worth it !

As for having your SO make such a decision with you:

At the end of the day, it is YOUR body. No one will know just how you feel except you.

Good Luck !

[CarolineM 0]

I totally agree with Rebecca. I've heard of a lot of symptoms of the pill but depression isn't one of them. Maybe it is but as rebecca said you need to be REALISTIC here.

You need to find the ROOT of the cause...and it's not the pill. Depression is honestly a clinical, chemical imbalance....not just a temporary thing casued by separation from a loved one or hormones...

You say you do walk all the time...exercise...does that make you feel better?

[sbgwolf1 0]

Mandi,

OK, I am probably not invited into this room being a man, but I would like to share some perspective.

1) I think its wonderful you two are sharing this together. My baby and I have talked about this and she has requested that when she is over here that I go with her also. She wants conforted in the situation and also wants us to discuss what is best for US

2) Yes, men generally do not go in the OB/GYN office. Usually its women. I dont know a man that wants to. I dont know a man willing to do it other than me. I am sure there are exceptions, like yours. I will do anything I can to make my baby comfortable. Yes, if that means going in the room with her, so be it. I will hold her hand.

3) My guess is that you two are close in all things, not just this. That makes for a strong relationship. We have that and I appreciate that. I think to a point that people have become so independant that they don't include thier spouse on things that could sometimes bring them together. My perspective is it is now 'us' not you and me...AND FOR YOU THAT WILL START TO FLAME ME, I said 'US' not me. Her happiness and welfare comes before mine. She is my happiness and to know she is ok and happy is all I need.

4) About the implant in the arm (obviously I have never experienced this personally). I know two ladies that did that and it turned out badly. It may not happen to everyone but they seemed to be on their period more than off. My sister sarcastically joked that it was 'the best birth control ever cause you could never have sex'. She and my friend both end up having them removed they were tired of that. Just what i know from the outside.

5) Summary. If he wants to be there with you, then take him. Talk things out and choose whats best for you two as a couple. I believe you two are loving and caring and my perception of him is that he is not selfish doing this for personal gain anyways.

Congrats on finding happiness. I wish you the best.

[sparkofcreation 0]

Probably inviting Spark's wrath for doing this, but I'm actually her husband momentarily stealing her login (see, men are reading this thread!).

I too, had been on the pill for years-I also suffered from depression from the pill and it KILLED my sex drive.

And I know a good few others who found the same. Hormonal BC works for a lot of people, and is a disaster for others. While I wouldn't be so quick as to blame your depression on HBC, I wouldn't discount it either. And given the upheaval that seems to be going on in your life, I'm not sure I would want to throw another potential problem into the mix. There's plenty of time to find the HBC that's right for you after things have settled down.

Finally, on condoms (and the real reason I'm posting). I used to hate the bloody things. Uncomfortable, desensitising, difficult to put on.. hate hate hate. Don't underestimate the hassle, annoyance and general badness of condoms. Or rather, as I eventually found out, condoms that don't fit. Condoms generally get sold on a "once size fits all," basis. Unfortunately, one size most definitely does not fit all. Not even close, in fact. Once I'd realised that, and found a brand that fitted me well, my objection to condoms pretty much disappeared. I could get one on quickly, there were no problems with discomfort, sensitivity was a lot better, and importantly a condom which fits well is far less likely to split. If anyone's having problems with birth control and really dislikes condoms, I would highly recommend trying to get a selection of different brands and sizes. Here is where we got the selection pack we used. I'd also suggest taking a look at the female condom. A bit tough to get used to using, and it looks like you're having sex with a plastic bag (if, of course, you're looking down there) but the sensation's wonderful, and the only major disadvantage IMO is price. We also found that a bit of lube made using condoms a lot easier and more pleasurable, something that I hadn't ever invested in previously.